Chapter 32

I sat by myself, looking at a candle's flickering light as my mind raced through my head like a hurricane. The guilt was too much to bear. It became heavier every day, like an elastic band pulling around my heart, making it more difficult for me to think and breathe.

I had let Lucien down. Not just once, but repeatedly. I felt like I was betraying the guy I loved every time I saw Alec and every time I gave him even the tiniest piece of information. Alec was now aware of my pregnancy. His warning seemed like a weight on me, covering me with terror.

I couldn't continue to live this way, torn between two realities and two unfeasible options. Every day, I was lying to Lucien, and it was breaking me. I considered telling him everything, asking for his pardon, and admitting my treachery. Every time, however, I was halted by the fear of what may happen to him.