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Fate/Fisted

'If violence isn't solving all your problems, you simply aren't using enough of it.' Shitty day at work cause your boss wants you to do overtime? Punch him. Kids giving you problems? Punch 'em. Supernatural entities trying to fuck with you? Punch 'em. Demon Gods trying to destroy to humanity? Punch the ever-living shit out of 'em. Nicholas Martel is the sort of man who can and will solve any and all problems by beating the shit out of them. Young masters and even tsunderes beware, his hands are rated e for absolutely everyone. - Obligatory; All rights go their respective owners, I own nothing except my OCs. And, don't translate or 'share' my stuff, much obliged.

Bleap · Cómic
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90 Chs

Yu the Dumb One

Nicholas held up a can of coke, glancing at the plate of chicken nuggets in his lap, and closed his eyes to take in a deep breath.

"How could a man be depressed when these is a thing?"

He looked at the six 'coffins' holding the rest of A-Team except for him and let out a sigh, "Told y'all coffins was a straight up death flag."

They could've literally made them any other shap-... Nicholas shook his head, probably wouldn't have matter considering Willy Wonka planted bombs right under them…, "The bitch even had the guts to say it was my fault."

ANYWAY, idle depressing thoughts aside...

With a can of coke, a plate of dozens of nuggets prepared by the Saint of the back alley herself, Nicholas had set himself up for an awesome time, even if he was sitting in the medical ward all alone.

But unfortunately,

Fate was like NAH, fuck this bitch in particular.

As soon as he opened the can, it blew up in his face, spilling soda right onto his face and into his plate of nuggets, ruining everything instantly.

"I-I didn't shake it though…" he muttered, on the verge of crying.

Nicholas looked down at the still steaming but now drenched pile of nuggets, his breath hitching, and pursed his lips with wet eyes.

"...Why?"

Some part of him died that day.

Over the course of yesterday, stuff like this had been happening way too much.

His clothes shrunk when he put them in the washer, he bumped his toe several times breaking his own new table, all his videogames got destroyed, Martha got one over him in a boxing spar, and he still hadn't got the time to see this 'world famous' homunculi designer even though Olga's gem had already been delivered to him.

"If I find out some bitch has something to do with this shit, I'm going to fuck em over."

Nicholas' head shot to one of the window panes, out into the field of nothing but snowstorms for miles, "Huh, coulda sworn I heard something."

A normal person would just assume losing a close friend was just messing with their head but Nicholas was... He was Nicholas, he just assumed it was something he could punch in the face.

The truth of it?

Well, who knows?

"Am I high or something?"

Nicholas sighed again and returned to emptily staring at the coffins holding some of the best friends he'd made since his arrival into this new, way more exciting world...

If he had the singularities pegged right, they'd be going all over history to fix stuff and save humanity. A history filled with magic and gods... who wouldn't be excited?

His gaze passed Kadoc, Kirschtaria, the man's little stalker/admirer Ophelia (which Nicholas totally got), Pepe the fag- *ehem*, and then Yu... Wait, Yu?

"Hold up..." The teenager stood up, tossing aside the can and placing the plate on his own chair before he walked over to the coffin holding a frozen Yu... or Hinako Akuta as Chaldea knew her... He narrowed his eyes and slightly tilted his head, "Something isn't right."

It looked like she was giving him the stink eye even though she was frozen.

Wasn't she a not-vampire that healed all damage like nobody's business?

"How'd she get injured if the explosion just brushed her?" Nicholas spoke curiously, inspecting her body with a raised brow.

It was completely uninjured, her clothes were burnt here and there sure but her body itself was the same as always...

Pursing his lips, he pushed down on the release button with his palm and took a few steps back with shining eyes.

"I hope... I'm right."

The 'coffin' buzzed and hummed, releasing gas? like the futuristic gizmo it was.

Nicholas didn't get jackshit about what was happening, he only remembered how to work it cause he overheard a conversation between the maintenance staff on a walk to the french Nuclear Reactor under them just waiting to screw everything over and run away like it's crea- *ehem*.

The teenager shook his head and focused his gaze on what was happening.

Moments passed in heavy silence before the glass pane that formerly served to give a view inside receded into either side of the coffin.

The 'injured' Yu fell forwards, coughing and gasping for air as she tried to stop herself from falling down, stumbling around, "F..." Nicholas moved immediately, catching her, and held her up by her shoulders, "Fi...nally."

"What took you so long, dumbass?"

"Oh dunno, does beating the shit out of Lev count?"

"Y-Yeah, it does. That stupid ginger, I was trying... to tell him I was fine."

-

"Haah... So he finally lost it, attacked everyone and somehow succeeded at getting rid of most of us?" Yu massaged her forehead with twitching lips and stared at a grinning Nicholas with shining crimson eyes, "What's with that stupid grin?!"

The man barely smiled even when he meant it! It was creepy as shit to see him just standing there with such a huge grin!

She felt around the table she was sitting on with her hands before grabbing a random book and throwing it at him with as much strength as she could muster in her current state.

"Guh!"

Of course that got her decked hard enough she hit her head on that same table and fell back flat, almost knocked out, "I'm injured... H-Hold back a bit! You damn brute!" God she wanted to wipe that smug grin off his mug... but that would probably get her punched again.

"I'm just happy I have at least you back."

The immortal smiled in defeat, rubbing her bruised forehead, "You know... You could give someone the wrong idea with your blunt words." The idiot probably didn't get what she meant so she just sighed again.

It was nice to be seen as a friend after centuries of being a 'monster'... it was nice to be wanted.

Don't mistake it though, she definitely wasn't happy that the idiot was fine! Definitely not, that's totally not what she was smiling about!

Ah... who was she kidding?

How long had it been since someone saw her and not the monster the Clock Tower branded her?

She was happy to see her friend alive and well.

That was it!

"Anyone that's got problems with the truth can come get it." Nicholas just held up a fist, his expression slowly returning to what it usually was.

"Of course." Yu sighed again, "How are we gonna explain this to everyone else? ...I may as well be busted now."

She couldn't just walk out of an explosion that put the rest of her team out of commission until further notice, "'Hinako Akuta' is just a member of the Clock Tower's Botany department, without anything noticeable in her defensive ability."

Nicholas only deadpanned at her statement, "Does living forever make people retarded?... Or is it cause the mind isn't immortal or something like that so you become slow?"

Yu gritted her teeth and mimicked his way of speaking, "You the dumb one!"

"Yeah, like I said, Yu the dumb one."

"Grrrrr..."

Nicholas ignored the annoyed not-vampire and cleared his throat, "Anyway, it was malpractice by Romani. Didn't you say you were tryna tell him you was fine? So, malpractice."

"So we just throw the good doctor under the bus?" Yu pondered for a bit before nodding, "Yeah I'm good with that, he deserves it."

"You know, you're not as torn up about everyone being dead as I thought you'd be." Nicholas commented off-handedly, picturing how everyone would take Yu's return.

The immortal just shrugged in response, "I don't really care about most of them... Live as long as I have, and people tend to lose their value, especially when they just want to use you... Hell, I would have left Chaldea right now if not fo-" Yu put her hands over her mouth, cutting herself off.

"If not for?"

The Chinese Immortal stared at him before she turned crimson and huffed loudly, stomping away, "Y-You don't need to know! Idiot!"

She paused near the doorway and glanced back at him...

"T...Thank you." She offered her gratitude meekly.

Nicholas just chortled, "Don't mention it."

"Shut up and come with me!"

"...Chill bitch."

-

Alright, so it was the high caffeine intake. I skipped it and feel a ton better.

-

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