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Fate/False Order

Accidentally killing yourself is a bummer, dying due to not reading the terms of service is embarrassing, and selling your afterlife is depressing. Now, let's follow Alistair, who, in his great wisdom performed the former while drunk, on his great quest of cleaning the Holy Grail of its corruption. And if that wasn’t hard enough, he needs to clean it during the 4th Holy Grail war, you know, the one with the worlds most feared assassin as a master, a psychopathic murder master and servant duo, a priest who goes on to hide kids in his basement, two of the knights of the round and fucking Gilgamesh in the mix. Safe to say, he’ll be acquiring premium life insurance, before stepping foot into Fuyuki. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Update schedule is three chapters a week, on Monday, Wednesday and Friday.

Leylin_Blackwood · Cómic
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45 Chs

Vol 2. Chapter 6. Family Lunch.

{They're here.} Morgan's voice caused me to look up from my book.

And low and behold, I saw the Homunculus and Servant duo walk in my direction from the corner of the bridge.

Smiling, I snapped the book shut, and pushed myself off of the bridge's arch, before making my way towards the duo.

The two of them were wearing the same outfits as yesterday, i.e Artoria was wearing a black business suit, and Irisviel had on her white trench coat and fur hat, looking like someone straight out of Siberia.

Walking up close, I gave a small wave.

"Good afternoon," I said with a smile.

My greetings got a smile in response from Irisviel, and a nod from Saber.

"Afternoon, Alistair," Irisviel said in a jovial tone, while clapping her hands together. "Have you thought of a place for us to eat?" She asked sweetly.

I gave her a lopsided smile, before giving a small shrug. "I didn't know what the two of you would like, so I haven't decided yet," I explained smoothly.

Irisviel seemed to tap her finger on her chin, before looking over at Saber.

"I don't have a preference, what about you, Saber?" She probed her companion, who turned to look at her friend with a stoic gaze.

"I have no preference, as long as it is better than Gawain's cooking, then I'll be more than satisfied," she said in a neutral tone.

Irisviel gained an interested look, when she mentioned her knight's cooking.

"Surely you should have some preference? I know that German food isn't the greatest, but Mother made me try some food from the Dark Ages, and surely it is better than the bland food from back then?" I said with mild disbelief.

My words caused Irisviel to send me a dirty look, when I had basically called German food shit, despite me fully knowing the reputation of English food…

Saber only gave me a slight frown, before shaking her head. "Servant's don't need to eat, so I haven't been offered anything to eat," she said expressionlessly.

Slowly, my head turned to face Irisviel, who was now blushing with shame, and was looking away, unable to look either of us in the eyes.

"You starved my ancestor?" I said with an uneasy amount of calmness, causing the homunculus to shrink in on herself.

Artoria gave a small frown, before speaking up in defense of her friend. "It matters not, as I am not hun—" She was cut off, by the sound of her own stomach betraying her.

Artoria became stone faced, and was obviously trying to pretend that nothing had happened, but neither me, nor Irisviel were so merciful.

"BBBBBBBBHHHHHHHHHAHAHAAHAH" I burst out laughing, while clutching my stomach, and pointing at her.

Irisviel wasn't much better, as she had a hand over her mouth, while giggling at her friend's reaction.

Saber's brow started to twitch, but otherwise, her face bore no reaction at the sudden laughter at her expense.

"Not that I am opposed to being the but of your joke, however, I believe that we were supposed to have lunch," Saber cut into our amusement with a ditched tone.

Irisviel kept giggling, while looking at her friend. "Yes, we should hurry on and do that, wouldn't want Saber to starve," she said in between giggles.

Nodding, I looked at Saber. "Indeed, we must fix this immediately, after all, hunger is the enemy," I said in a sagely tone.

Artoria seemed to give me an impressed look, before slowly nodding her head at my statement. "Wise words, Alistair," she said with approval.

Shooting her a thumbs up, I snapped my finger, before pointing towards the shopping district.

"Taking into account that Saber hasn't eaten for a few days, and that I can eat enough for three others, how about we go to one of the sushi buffets down the street?" I suggested, while gesturing in the vague direction of where the restaurants were.

The two women nodded in agreement, and we started walking towards the shopping district. Irisviel matched my pace while Saber trailed a step behind, her gaze subtly sweeping the surroundings.

After a few moments of comfortable silence, Irisviel glanced at the book I was holding, curiosity sparking in her eyes.

"What are you reading?" she asked, tilting her head slightly.

I held the book up, waving it in front of them with a casual flick of my wrist. "Greek myths," I replied, opening to a page somewhere in the middle.

"Medea of Colchis, to be specific." I handed the book over to Irisviel, who took it with an intrigued smile.

She thumbed through the pages, her eyes flitting over the pages with a slight frown. "You think she's Caster?" she asked, her voice low but filled with curiosity.

I nodded, my smile fading into a more serious expression.

"All my gathered information points towards her," I said causally.

"Medea was a powerful sorceress, known for her ruthless nature. If Caster is indeed her, it would explain a lot about the way she's been acting in this war."

Saber leaned in closer, her stoic mask giving way to a hint of interest. "Medea…" she murmured, almost tasting the name. "The woman who betrayed her own kin for love, only to be betrayed herself. A tragic figure."

I raised an eyebrow, surprised to hear that tone from Saber. "Tragic, yes. But also dangerous. If she's Caster, then I wouldn't be surprised if the Church offered a command seal for her head."

Irisviel returned the book to me, her brow furrowing in thought. "What do you mean?"

I tucked the book under my arm and continued, "The Church has always had a strict policy about rogue Servants. And if Caster is really Medea, it's likely she's already killed her master," I explained with a sigh.

"I would also explain why the leylines around the city have been consistently drained, as well as how she was able to pull off so many taxing spells," I said with a shake of my head.

"It's been causing mass hospitalizations, and I don't know about you, but I don't think the 'gas leaks' excuse will hold for much longer. Case and point, her actions might reveal magecraft to the populace, which is a problem."

Saber's gaze sharpened. "That is indeed a problem," she said quietly.

I nodded. "Exactly. And given her penchant for being flashy, she might start blowing things up, all willy-nilly."

Irisviel's eyes widened slightly, and she glanced over at Saber, who remained expressionless but nodded in understanding. "What of the hotel bombing?" Irisviel asked. "Do you think Caster was involved in that as well?"

I don't know if I should find it oddly endearing that Irisviel is trying to cover for her husband, or be annoyed that she's trying to throw me off his tracks. Either way, she's a good wife...

I shrugged, considering her question. "Maybe. But I can't confirm anything with the available knowledge."

"I was asked to be there by the Church, and helped them with the coverup and investigation," I said with a sigh, while giving a small yawn.

"There was a distinct lack of mana in the rubble, and the explosion doesn't fit with what we know of Caster's methods so far, but still, we can't rule out the possibility."

Before I could continue, Irisviel pointed at a restaurant that was close by.

It had a homey feel, with a wooden exterior and welcoming lighting.

"How about there? It looks cozy enough, and prices seem to be decent enough," she said while pointing a the price sign.

Tilting my head, I gave a hum of approval. "It looks good, and I think it's one of the better places on this street," I explained.

Saber gave a slight nod of approval, just as her stomach gave another rumble.

The two of us fixed our gaze at the unflappable King of Knights, whose face was almost as expressive as a rock.

Glancing to my side, I met Irisviel's amused gaze, before the two of us gave a small chuckle.

"I think Saber is hungry," I said sagely, causing the aforementioned Servant's brow to twitch.

Irisviel cupped her chin, and nodded sagely at my observation.

"Hmm, hmm, I believe you're right, Alistair," she said with mock intrigue, causing Saber to give her the stink eye.

Irisviel gave Saber a sweet smile, before nodding towards the restaurant.

"Shall we enter, Saber?" She said in a teasing tone, causing the Servant to give a curt nod.

Quickly, the three of us shuffled into the establishment, some of us with more vigor, Artoria, than others.

As we made our way inside, the rich aroma of food immediately wrapped around us like a warm blanket.

A waitress greeted us with a polite bow and led us to a small table by the window. The light filtered in through the glass, casting soft shadows across the table.

I pulled out a chair for Irisviel, who smiled and thanked me with a small nod.

Saber took her seat across from her, her posture straight and her eyes still scanning the room out of habit.

I slid into the chair next to Irisviel, while listening to the soft hum of conversation from other patrons around us.

The waitress returned with menus, and I could feel a small smile tugging at the corner of my lips.

Tapping my menu, I gave the waitress a sly smile. "I'd like to have these four main dishes, and a plate of salmon Nigiri, and a pot of Jasmine tea for all of us."

The waitress seemed stunned at my words, and blinked a few times, before furiously scribbling down my order.

I gestured for Irisviel to order, but she gazed at me with stupefaction, and she had dropped her menu.

Nudging her with my elbow, Irisviel quickly picked up her menu and put in an order for a Tonkatsu, with some spring rolls as a starter.

Saber seemed to struggle with what to pick, before glancing at me. "What do you recommend," she asked hesitantly.

Flipping open the menu, I pointed at a few dishes. "I think you'd probably like the Unagi no Kabayaki, maybe some Udon, the Tonkatsu… and maybe the Hayashi Raisu," I said in quick succession, causing her to look down at the ones I had pointed out.

Irisviel tugged at my coat, causing me to look at her, and being met with her unsure gaze.

"Isn't that… you know, a lot?" She said skeptically, causing me to scoff.

"Please, I am going to order more once I'm done, and Saber will probably do the same?" Phrasing the last part as a question, I gazed at Artoria, who looked up from the menu, glanced between the two of us, before giving a slow nod.

Saber glanced up at the waiter, and gave her a nod. "I'll be having the things Alistair recommended, as well as the… Gyoza… for my starter," she said confidently.

The waitress furiously scribbled down her order, before taking out menus, giving a bow, and leaving.

Seeing her leave, I placed a glowing finger on the table, and started to write some temporary runic array.

Quickly, a privacy and illusion bounded field covered our table, and I released a small yawn, and leaned back into my seat.

"Now we have some privacy," I said while giving my arms a light stretch.

At my words, Artoria seemed to relax, as some of the tension in her body left her stiff from.

Crossing my arms, I looked at Artoria with a cocked brow.

"You had some questions?" I said lightly, causing her to lean forwards in interest.

"Yes, mainly on how our family made it past Camlann," she said while leaning her elbows on the table, and interlocking her fingers.

Her question made me sigh, and I leaned backwards, and started to tilt backwards, and rock back and forth.

"The 'official' version," I said while giving air quotes, "seeing as it is obviously wrong because you are here, goes as so…"

"After Lancelot rescued Guinevere, they fled to a remote monastery, only for the two to discover that she is with child," I said in my best story teller voice.

"Overjoyed, the two stayed together, while waiting for the child to be born. But as time passed, Guinevere grew weak and frail, leading to her being unable to take the strain of childbirth," at my words, I saw a flash of pity in Artoria's eyes.

"Lancelot, riddled with grief, took his own life, in part to atone for what he had done in Camelot, and to follow his lover to the afterlife, knowing that the nuns would take care of the child in his stead."

I could see Artoria's expression harden at my story, and her knuckles had turned white during the time I had been talking.

"After the events of Camlann, Sir Bedivire roamed the lands in a despondent state, until he stumbled upon the monastery, where he met a girl with green eyes, and wheat colored hair, like his king. And after a swift discussion with the nuns in charge of the monastery, he adopted the child, renaming her Arturia, in memory of his king," I said gravely, before shrugging.

Artoria gained a frown, and leaned in further. "I refuse to believe that Lancelot would do something as disgraceful as killing himself, even if Guinevere died before her time," she said in a harsh tone.

Nodding, I released a slight sigh.

"I agree, and after consulting a reputable source, I believe I have what I know to be the true series of events."

~~Fate/False Order~~

"Morgan, do you have any idea on how the Pendragon's survived?" I probed my Servant, while idly watching her work on a Mystic Code.

She seemed to perk up at my question, and tilted her head in my direction before answering. "Oh? You mean you couldn't guess?" She said with unrivaled amusement.

I felt my brow twitch at her question, causing me to click my tongue.

"I mean, it's obvious that you had to have had your hand in our families survival, as it is far too convenient for Arthur to have gotten Guinevere pregnant right before her infidelity was discovered, and then she died while giving birth in a monastery," I said dryly.

"Compound that with the fact that, I'm fairly sure that Arturia didn't have the genitalia at the time to do such a task," I said while raising a brow, and looking pointedly at Morgan.

At my comment, she fully ignored what she was doing, and turned fully to look at me. She smoothly sat down on the corner of the table, and crossed her legs.

"Hmmm…" She mused aloud while cocking her head to the side.

"I must commend you on your excellent deduction," her tone was laced with amusement.

I saw her move a hand under her veil, and cup her chin.

"After I threw my little sister into Avalon, I tried to anchor the retreating mysteries to the world, in an attempt at prolonging the Age Of Gods, as Artoria had accidentally been doing," she said in a somewhat tiered tone.

"I experimented with tying them to myself, with little success, so tried to do what I did with Mordred, and create another clone of her, to hopefully stabilize the quickly vanishing mysteries," she explained, before giving an amused shrug.

"And as I had little time, I'd need to speed up the gestation process, which would drastically weaken the one carrying the child… So I thought to put that burden on the woman responsible for her lover killing my children," her voice gained an edge at the latter part of her explanation.

I raised a brow at her sudden dip in tone, as I was of the opinion that she didn't care for any of her children, if Mordred was any indication. And she should care even less so, given that most of them were her step-children from Lot and whatever maid he fancied at the moment.

"So, I tracked down Lancelot and Guinevere, killed the former while forcing the latter to watch, before implanting a child into her," Morgan said with the utmost satisfaction.

Well… that's not exactly how I wished for the story to go…

Shrugging, she continued. "Naturally, she didn't survive childbirth, and when I studied the little girl, I found absolutely no Magic Core or a sign of the essence of the red dragon," she said with disappointment, while shaking her head.

"I don't know what came over me, but I showed the child some semblance of pity, and guided Sir Bedivere to the monastery, while implanting false memories into the priests and nuns there," she said with mirth.

Looking at Morgan, I slowly blinked my eyes.

"Are you telling me that my family's existence is only due to a failed experiment of sustaining the age of gods, along with your mercy shining though…" I said dryly, earning a crisp nod from Morgan.

"Fuck me…" I mumbled while rubbing my forehead.

"Not with that attitude," Morgan said with amusement, before uncrossing and recrossing her legs.

~~Fate/False Order~~

I can't tell her the whole thing, or else she'd get suspicious, so I'll have to dull it down a bit.

"I think both you and I can agree that our 'survival' story has Morgan's fingerprints all over it," I said seriously, earning a nod of agreement from Artoria.

"And given her spiteful nature, I assume she probably went and slew Lancelot, and probably did whatever she did to herself to have your child, but to Guinevere this time around," I explained calmly.

Artoria seemed to purse her lips, before slightly slumping, and tiredly nodding her head.

"Knowing my sister, as I do, I can agree with your hypothesis," she said with resignation.

Artoria seemed to feel that this was her fault, in some strange way, as she was being far more expressive than she had been before.

I probably couldn't convince her that it wasn't, but I could hopefully take her mind off things.

"But back to more important topics," I said aloud, causing the two's gaze to snap in my direction, and look at me with confusion.

"Berserker," merely saying his name, made Artoria's expression turn stern, and she straightened her posture.

"What about him?" She probed impatiently, urged on by Irisviel's nodes of encouragement.

Pinching the bridge of my nose, I gave Artoria a nervous look.

"Well, on the topic of Morgan, I seem to recall she had a knight under her service, by the name of Accolon," I said with a twinge of unease.

"He ticks most of the boxes, an unreasonable hate for you, or me and an extreme aptitude for combat," I explained calmly.

Saber seemed to cup her chin at my words, and Irisviel turned to look at me.

"Um, Alistair, why did you sound so uneasy earlier?" She probed with confusion.

I pursed my lips at her question. "Accolon wielded Excalibur against Artoria, and was a hair's breadth away from killing her. It was only thanks to Vivian's interference, that he lost the fight," I explained cooly.

Shrugging, I fixed her with a frown. "Point is, I fear for his Noble Phantasm to be him switching Excalibur with a replica, which would put you guys in a bad position," I explained, causing Irisviel's pupils to shrink.

"I-is such a thing possible?" She said with mild panic.

To her question, I could only shrug. "I am unsure, but it is the most prominent part of his legend, so the act being immortalized as a Noble Phantasm is quite plausible," I explained briefly.

Before I could continue, I saw Artoria's gaze fix onto something in the distance.

Mirroring her actions, I turned my head, only to see the same waitress from before, balancing two large trays, littered with dishes.

Quickly, I wrote a few extra runes, adjusting the bounded field.

The waitress arrived at our table, balancing the trays with a practiced grace that was impressive, considering the sheer amount of food.

She set down a generous portion of each dish, neatly placing them in front of us with a polite smile.

"I'll be back with the rest shortly," she said with a bow, before retreating to the kitchen.

Artoria's eyes flickered over the plates, and for a brief moment, I caught a spark of something in her expression.

For all her stoicism, there was something endearing about seeing the legendary King of Knights momentarily caught off guard by the sight of food.

I leaned back slightly, watching as Saber's gaze shifted to the pair of chopsticks that had been placed beside her plate of unagi.

She picked them up with an air of confidence, but it quickly became apparent that she had no idea how to use them.

Her fingers fumbled awkwardly, and the chopsticks clattered against the edge of the plate.

Irisviel chuckled softly beside me, unable to hide her amusement. "Saber, would you like some help?" she offered gently.

Artoria stiffened, her pride clearly on the line, but after a moment, she sighed and nodded, a faint blush coloring her cheeks.

"If you would be so kind," she replied, her voice softer than usual.

Irisviel smiled and reached over, showing her how to hold the chopsticks correctly, guiding her fingers into position. "Like this… see?" she said patiently, moving Saber's hand slightly to adjust the grip.

Artoria watched intently, her brow furrowing in concentration as if she were preparing for a battle.

I couldn't resist poking some fun at the clumsy king. "Who knew the great King of Knights would be bested by a pair of chopsticks?" I teased.

Artoria shot me a glare that was more playful than annoyed. "It is merely a different kind of weapon," she replied with a hint of a smile, clearly determined to master this new challenge.

Once she had gotten the hang of it, Artoria's focus shifted back to the food, and for a moment, all was quiet as we began eating.

I took a bite of my nigiri, savoring the fresh taste, while keeping an eye on Saber.

Her posture had relaxed slightly, and there was a visible hint of pleasure as she ate the Gyoza.

I decided to steer the conversation into more interesting territory. "So, I've been wondering," I began, turning to Irisviel, "what exactly did you use to summon Artoria?" I probed with interest.

I knew naturally, but I wanted to see her squirm a bit, or maybe confess... either would be fun for me.

Irisviel blinked, surprised by the sudden question, and then smiled, a bit of mischief in her eyes. "Why do you ask?" she replied, playing coy.

"Well," I started, leaning back and tapping my chin thoughtfully, "I've been thinking… Was it a piece of the Round Table, perhaps? Maybe a shard of Caliburn?" I watched her reaction carefully.

Irisviel simply shook her head, still smiling. "No, nothing like that," she replied.

I continued, "What about… Excalibur's scabbard? Avalon?" I suggested, then quickly dismissed it with a wave of my hand. "No, that would be unlikely." I said dismissively, with a huff, while subtly looking for for reaction.

Somehow, her expression hadn't changed, which was quite impressive.

"Even if you somehow found if before my family, which would be unlikely, only a madman would use Avalon as a catalyst."

Saber's gaze flicked up at the mention of Avalon, and Irisviel's curiosity was piqued. "Why do you say that?" she asked.

Apparently she had a world champion class poker face.

I shrugged. "Simple. While Avalon would almost certainly summon Artoria, there's also the relatively high risk of summoning Morgan le Fay."

Artoria's expression hardened momentarily, before softening from the food's taste in her mouth.

"And that's a gamble I doubt anyone sane would take. Given that she'd probably kill, or hijack her master, that's a risk I'd never take," I said with a hint of amusement, while chuckling at the bullshit I was spewing.

Ok... probably not bullshit, but she's good to me.

Saber's expression darkened slightly, her lips pressing into a thin line. "Morgan…" she muttered under her breath, a hint of disdain in her tone.

I nodded. "Exactly. She'd be a nightmare to deal with. Even if you managed to summon her, controlling her would be nearly impossible."

Before the conversation could continue, my phone buzzed in my pocket, cutting through the lighthearted atmosphere.

I glanced at the screen and sighed. "Excuse me for a moment," I said, pushing back my chair. "It's my mother."

Irisviel nodded, giving me a warm smile, while Artoria gave me a curt nod, before clumsily picking up a Gyoza.

I stepped away from the table, and moved out from the restaurant, and clicked the accept button on my phone.

"Mother?"

"Alistair, why aren't you home?" Mother's voice sounded clear, but I still felt like I misheard.

"Excuse me?" I asked with confusion.

I heard an exasperated sigh from her end of the phone.

"Why, aren't, you, home?" She spoke her sentence, as if talking to a slow child.

Seeing that she was diffidently purposefully pulling my legs, I responded with equal seriousness.

"Because I'm not in England," I said dryly.

I heard mother click her tongue, before speaking up. "That's not what I meant, idiot," I felt my brow twitch at the taunt, "I meant your home in Fuyuki," she spoke in a tone, where it sounded like she thought her question was obvious.

"What?" I felt the word slip out accidentally.

"I've been ringing your doorbell for five minutes, and you haven't opened the door, why aren't you home?"

"WHY ARE YOU IN JAPAN?!" I scratched into the phone, drawing a few stares from onlookers.

"Surprise?"

134 Hours, 27 Minutes And 26 Seconds Until Zero 

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A/N

Welcome back, my reader Overlords, please add this to your library and give me some comments, stones and Reviews, as it would be much appreciated.

Btw, I'll need some help when it comes to spelling errors in this chapter, as I wrote this all in one go, from 10Pm to 5:40AM, so yeah… I might have done an oppsie or three…

Any questions?

Thoughts?

Here's a question from me, what do you all want to see? Give me some suggestions! I'll screen them, don't worry!

Btw, I have made a Discord server for the fic, come on and chat with me!

https://discord.gg/eJpSFD4H

Now I'm tired, so have a nice day, and send me some stones or some shit, I need motivation, or some shit like that.