15

Chapter 15: XV

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

"How do I get to the Ministry of Magic?" Kakashi barged into room 11 without even knocking. Ministry custody, the witch had said. He just hoped that meant Sirius was actually in the ministry and not some other facility. At least he wasn't in Azkaban yet.

Potter stared at him with wide green eyes. He had his trunk half unpacked. Clothes were strewn around the entire room. Kakashi didn't care about the chaos. He had only one thing in mind.

"The ministry!" he demanded impatiently. "How do I get there?"

"What do you want in the ministry?" Potter asked instead of answering. He sounded like Kakashi's urgency was amusing to him.

I'm going to free a convicted mass murderer. Sirius Black, you might have heard of him. Kakashi huffed in frustration. He quickly had to come up with a different explanation.

"Fudge wanted to help me get into Hogwarts, but then he just up and left. So, now I'll go to him." He should start writing all his lies down so he wouldn't mix them up.

Potter laughed out loud. "You want to…," he shook his head. "He's the minister of magic. Surely, he has better things to do. Just write a letter."

Kakashi was annoyed. "Sure, great. How do I do that? What's the address?"

"I have no idea. But I bet an owl will find it." Potter gave a shrug.

Kakashi's eyes narrowed to small slits. "What do I need an owl for?" He was quite certain owls were a kind of bird.

Apparently, he had said something wrong. Potter looked at him with huge eyes. "To send a letter," his voice tilted in a way as if Kakashi's question had made him uncertain.

"You can send a message with an owl?" Kakashi asked surprised. In Konoha, they used specially trained hawks, that could fly between certain spots, or on trained routes. Birds who found their destination even if the wizard didn't know where the destination was? Was it some sort of summon?

"Yeah," Potter pointed to his birdcage. "If you want, when Hedwig returns, you can send a letter with her."

Hedwig…? Kakashi quickly brushed his questions aside. He didn't need an owl. He needed the address of the ministry of magic, and apparently, this boy didn't know it.

"So, you don't know where it is?"

Potter shook his head. "No, but as I told you…," something in Kakashi's face made him stop. "What's so important about it, Charlie? Hedwig will be back tomorrow." Kakashi almost missed that Potter used his made-up name. "Why the hurry?"

Kakashi turned to search for the innkeeper. "I just really want to go to Hogwarts," he called back to Potter because it was the best he could come up with.

He ran down to the pub and saw Tom at the bar. "How do I get to the ministry?"

"The ministry?" Tom gave him a toothless grin. "It's too late."

For a moment Kakashi panicked. Too late? Had they already done something to Sirius, that he couldn't undo? Shit! Why had he just left the bridge? Why couldn't he do it right once! He couldn't even keep somebody safe in a world without a single shinobi in it!

"Visiting hours ended at seven."

What? Kakashi's spiraling thoughts stopped to a halt.

The man spit into a rag and cleaned a tumbler with it. Kakashi absentmindedly decided to never eat here. "Yes, yes. Visitors only until 7 pm. You'll have to wait for the morning." He pointed at the clock, that was stuck at 11:48 o'clock. Kakashi knew for a fact that it was past midnight. Kakashi scowled. Was the innkeeper joking around?

"When do visiting hours start again, and how do I get there?" He didn't care about visiting hours. If necessary, he would break in. But he wouldn't be so stupid to tell Tom.

Tom looked at him for a moment. "They thought you were Black," he chuckled, then he rummaged in a drawer under his bar. "Guess they were wrong about that, huh?"

"Yes," Kakashi said impatiently leaning over the counter to see what the man was doing.

Tom drew out a frayed and dirty sheet of paper. Kakashi realized it was a street map, though not a very detailed one. Tom took a pencil and marked a cross on the map, then circled another section.

"That's the Leaky Cauldron. Over here, that's the visitor entrance for the ministry. Visiting hours start at 7 am. It looks like a red phone booth." Tom offered. He turned the map around, scribbled a series of numbers on the other side.

Kakashi took the map, peered at it to get an idea of how far it was. There was no scale though. He had no idea about the distance.

"Thank you." He moved up to room 14. The one Fudge had already paid for. The key was in the lock. The room was dirty, small, and entirely empty apart from a bed, a table, and a chair. He quickly locked the door, then he climbed out of the window, looked on the map again, and hurried in the right direction.

Kakashi hadn't understood the phone booth comment, until he arrived at the address, that Tom had marked on the map. There was nothing that looked like a ministry building, and as he went past the many doors on the unassuming street, none of the doors said 'Ministry of Magic' above the doorbells. There was a pub, a few rundown offices, and a broken streetlight. He looked at the map again and made a useless turn around his own axis. Had he read the map wrong?

Then his eyes found the red phone booth. The one Tom had mentioned. Tentatively he walked up to it. He studied it from the outside, but it looked just like any other phone booth he had walked past the days before. A secret entrance? Carefully he pulled the door open as if he expected the whole thing to explode in his face. The metal doors squeaked. He stepped in. It stank of old plastic and the trash that somebody had left in the corner. The phone booth was a mess. There was graffiti sprayed all over it, rude words, and ruder images. Somebody had smashed the telephone in so that it was crooked, and the receiver hung down. There was no phonebook here, and the inscriptions of how to use it were smeared all over with graffiti, and half ripped off the walls.

Thankfully Kakashi had learned all about using these phone boxes just this morning. He put the receiver to his ear. There was an off-beeping noise. He had no coin, he realized. Careful not to break the already broken thing he put it down again. What now? Helplessly he looked back on the map. Turned it in his hands.

There… On the other side, Tom had scribbled down a series of numbers. Shrugging, Kakashi lifted the receiver again and dialed 62442. He waited nervously and then jumped when a voice spoke from right next to him.

"Welcome to the Ministry of Magic visitor entrance. We're sorry to inform you that you reach us outside our regular business hours. Business hours are from 7 am to 8 pm. Thank you."

The voice didn't come from the receiver. It was as if the woman stood with him in the small telephone booth. He was so surprised by it, that he barely registered her words until it was already over.

He couldn't get in. How long to 7 am? Hastily, he exited the booth again. It had to be somewhere here! He channeled his chakra let it flow into the earth to find anything that might be hidden there. He was good at using earth ninjutsu. Few things could hide from him underground. At the same time as he let his chakra work through the ground, he looked again at every building using the Sharingan.

He didn't have much hope to find anything. If the ministry was hiding in a different dimension – like he assumed that 'Diagon Alley'-place did…

Nothing… And his search into the underground also came up empty. He found the London sewer system but that was it. Nothing…

It had to be somewhere. He refused to give up! Kakashi dug deeper. And then…

Deep underground, the earth just stopped. There was a massive empty room underground. That had to be it.

Kakashi quickly formed hand signs for an earth-style ninjutsu and then dug underground. First, he came out on the old sewer system. He didn't take a break and instead dug deeper. It was dark, but Kakashi never had problems orienting himself while moving through earth. It was a familiar exercise. He tunneled forward while simultaneously closing the path behind him. Then his hands came upon a different material: hard stone. It was easy to break it apart. The last layer to separate him from the room below was a hard steel barrier. Using his Sharingan, he could see an odd aura lying over it like a web. It was almost impossible to make out and even more difficult to guess what it would do if he would touch it. He hesitated.

Putting his ear up close, while he just barely avoided touching the odd magic web, he listened, but it didn't sound as if anybody was on the other side.

This aura… he stared at it again. It might be a warning spell, it might be a defensive barrier, it might only be something to protect from muggle detection. He didn't know. Was there a chance he might die, touching it? Kakashi himself knew barrier seals that could be quite uncomfortable to run into unprepared. With these magical ones… He had no idea what they would do. He quickly created an earth clone from the rubble lying around him in the small tunnel.

The clone took one look back at Kakashi to assure itself, that the original was a safe distance away. Then it tentatively touched the aura. It quickly pulled its hand back, shaking it, as if it stung, but apparently, the damage wasn't bad enough to dissolve the jutsu.

GRUAA GRUAA~!

Suddenly a loud alarm rang out. An alarm barrier! It could have been worse, Kakashi realized, just as the Clone punched hard against the metal, creating a significant dent. It channeled more chakra into its fist and then broke through. The moment the steel was broken, the alarm seemed even louder, blaring into the tunnel coming from the inside of the ministry. The clone put both hands through the wall. Kakashi could hear small pieces of brittle rock falling on the ground. There seemed to be another layer of stone or gypsum that the wall was made of. Then the clone used its chakra, to push the steel further apart, creating a big enough hole for it to crawl through.

It looked around, then jumped out of the hole, Kakashi following closely behind it. They were in a small office. It was dark apart from a bright orange light flaring at the ceiling. Part of the alarm, Kakashi assumed.

"Quick now," Kakashi whispered, hurrying up to the door. Pushing it open just a bit, to peek through. The corridor was almost empty apart from a witch and wizard that quickly made their way to a set of elevators. Kakashi could make out the number over one of the elevators quickly climbing downward. He must be on the highest floor, but a small metal badge between two elevators told him this was the first floor. He quickly realized that the numbers were inverted, with the first floor being up top. This meant, the decreasing number on the elevator to the left, indicated that somebody was quickly coming up here. Probably security guards, aurors, or other wizards to investigate the incident. Surely, they could detect where exactly the breach was. Kakashi would rather avoid the fight if he wanted to get to Sirius in time.

Kakashi lunged towards the wizard closest to him and quickly dragged him into the office, without the other witch noticing. He threw him into his clone's arm. A flurry of hand signs and he turned into the spitting image of the wizard. The wizard looked at him with huge eyes, but in the flaring orange light and with only a split second before the clone grabbed him and covered his eyes with a piece of cloth, it would be difficult for him to remember anything of Kakashi's looks.

Kakashi left his clone to tie up the wizard and close the hole as best as it could. It would be almost impossible to hide the torn open wall and steel barrier, but at least the clone could hide where they came from. Meanwhile, Kakashi hurried to the elevators, jumping into the one with the single witch who was already pressing the button for 'down'.

"What's going on, Bernie?" she asked him. He filed the name away for now, though he'd have to change disguise quickly, as it wouldn't be long for the aurors to find the incapacitated wizard, once they came up looking for Kakashi. "You think it's Black?"

"I heard they have him in custody," Kakashi said fishing for information.

"Yes, that's what I mean. You think he escaped again?" Her voice was frantic.

At that moment the elevator set into motion. Kakashi grabbed a metal handle for support as it rushed downward. He considered using a genjutsu to force her to tell him where the holding cells were, but at that moment, a voice announced "Level two, Department of Magical Law Enforcement"

Magical Law Enforcement… That sounded about right. When the doors opened, he was ready to leave, but instead, four people rushed in. Wizarding robes fluttered and people seemed hurried and afraid. Despite the late hours, there were evidently still a lot of people working here.

Kakashi wanted out! He was about to shove against them when the doors slid shut again and the elevator went further down.

He felt stressed, stuck in such a tiny box with so many people, and if Sirius was in Magical Law Enforcement, he was even going in the wrong direction. Worried, he had no choice but to ride further down.

This time, the elevator slid all the way down to "Level Eight: Atrium." Kakashi stepped out with everybody else. He quickly grabbed one of the guys from Magical Law Enforcement and dragged them into an empty room.

"Bernie!" The wizard cried out in a complaining whine. "What are you doing, Bernie? We need to get out, until the Aurors and Hit Wizard give the all-clear." The wizard pulled at his arm to get free from Kakashi's grip, but Kakashi's fingers were locked around his wrists like steel.

He smashed the door shut behind them, after checking that they were really alone. Then, he dug into the man's cloak, to take his wand out, threw it one way, and then hurled the man over a desk and against the wall in the other direction. He clamped his left hand around his throat and the other over his mouth.

"Bern—" The last part of the name was muffled against Kakashi's hand. He looked terrified.

"Where is Sirius Black?" Kakashi asked, his voice cutting and dangerous. "Tell me where Sirius Black is." The man looked terrified, indeed, but he still managed to shake his head against Kakashi's hand. "Tell me, or I will make you!" Kakashi warned, lifting his hand a little.

The wizard took in a deep breath of air and then—

Kakashi had his voice muffled again before even the first sound of his cry for help could reach anybody's ears.

He huffed in frustration. Kakashi didn't like torture, but at home in Konoha, he was part of ANBU. It wouldn't be long, and he would be a captain. Even while fighting in the war… Kakashi had learned a fair bit from the Torture & Interrogation unit. Both how to withstand it and how to use it. He would get this information.

He let go of the wizard, but before the man could even think about screaming again, Kakashi had quick hand signs formed and drowned the man into a genjutsu.

Matter of fact… Drowning sounded like a good start.

"The—The hold—holding cells! Level ten! Ho—holding Cell 12B. You'll…You have to-to-to t-take the…the…the elevator to Level Nine and then-then the stairs. I don't know who's guarding him. He—He'll be tr-transported to Az-Azkaban at six."

It was an easy thing to make the wizard talk and it didn't even take two minutes. Kakashi was almost disgusted with how easy the man broke, and he hadn't even used his Sharingan. Still, it was convenient for Kakashi, so he wouldn't complain. The man immediately lost consciousness when Kakashi lifted the genjutsu which was also convenient. He left him where he was and pushed the door open.

Just as he walked back into the Atrium, the elevator doors, opened again and a group of wizards came out with their wands drawn.

"Where's Bernie Mallack?" One of them cried out so loud, Kakashi would have to be deaf not to hear it. "Did anybody see Mallack?"

He was already too far into the Atrium, to avoid being seen. When the first people started pointing at him, he quickly fled down the emptiest corridor he could find. The signs told him he was on his way to the visitor bathrooms. He ran around a corner, and just as he was certain that for an instant nobody would see him, he created a shadow clone and then transformed himself into the spitting image of the pink-haired witch who had come into the Leaky Cauldron earlier. How had Fudge called her? Tones?

"I got him," he yelled out with the voice of the woman and pushed his clone around the corner towards the oncoming aurors.

"Good work, Tonks!" somebody congratulated him. "I didn't know you were up here. Thought you're with Black."

Kakashi nodded. "I was there but thought you might need the help. This one probably tried helping him." He pushed the clone forward rudely but made certain not to push hard enough to dissolve it. "It's not really Bernie, I guess?" He put on a sheepish voice.

"Probably Polyjuice," another auror replied. "We found Bernie bound and gagged up on level one."

Kakashi nodded. Polyjuice, he was fairly certain by now, was the wizards' way of transforming into other people "Then I'll bring this guy down to level ten. He can share a cell next to his friend until we find out who he is." He looked for any reaction as he mentioned level ten. It was always good to recheck information gathered through torture, he knew. Nobody reacted, however, so he assumed level ten was correct. He pushed the clone through the assembled group of wizards and witches towards the elevators. Two of the other aurors followed him. A man and a woman.

"He must have just used the potion," the woman said pressing the button with an ornate-looking number 9 on it. "So, it will wear off in an hour. Then we'll know." She was a lithe woman with short greying hair.

"Or maybe he'll tell us," the man suggested kicking the clone. For a second Kakashi feared it might just dissolve, but apparently, the attack was very weak. "With the prospect of Azkaban, many dark wizards sing like birds. They think they are strong – this one even dared to break into the ministry, the fool. But if you just mention Azkaban…" The man laughed. "There look how he's squirming." As he laughed his big chin was wobbling.

Kakashi looked down, and in fact, his clone was playing its part well. It looked rather pale, with lips pressed tightly together. "I won't say anything," it said, "You'll have to torture it out of me." Kakashi almost snorted at the melodramatic theatre.

"Well, no need. The Polyjuice will wear off in an hour," the witch said again as the elevator doors slid open. Kakashi went a little bit behind the other two, to hide, that he didn't know the way. He eyed the two aurors flanking him. The man had a big meaty hand grabbing the clone's arm tightly. The woman led the way. Before they would reach the cells, Kakashi knew, he'd have to take them out. He'd rather just knock them out in a surprise attack than risking a fight once they realized he wasn't Tonks when they saw the real one with Sirius.

**

He woke up in a ministry holding cell.

He woke up in a ministry holding cell.

He woke up—

Sirius couldn't think past that point. He was lying on his back on cold stone ground, staring at the ceiling. He had woken up in— Desperately, he closed his eyes, pressed his palms against them to hide the itching there. He had lost.

Back to Azkaban… He couldn't do that anymore. He had tasted freedom for barely two weeks but he hadn't actually achieved anything apart from terrifying a fourteen-year-old Japanese wizard, who likely didn't even know he was a wizard… and then making a fool of himself, as he stormed into the Drusleys' house to…

Harry!

"Where is Harry?" He asked out loud. It was the first time he spoke since he had woken up in the min— "Tell me what happened to him!" He climbed to his feet, turned to the steel bars, and searched the eyes of the hard-faced auror who stood opposite him with crossed arms, wand tightly gripped in his right. He knew this man… "Tell me Gibson, what happened there?" The man didn't seem inclined to answer. He frowned disapprovingly. "I looked everywhere for Harry, but he wasn't—"

"Don't speak to me, Black," Gibson commanded. Deep lines furrowed on his brow that made him look older than he was. Sirius grabbed the steel bars. His hands were shackled, as were his feet. He wouldn't stop to consider his bindings. There was a panic attack waiting, lurking, and building up in the back of his mind, but he was desperately pushing it away.

He needed to know if Harry was alright!

"Come on, Alaric! We're old friends." Friends was maybe too strong a word. Alaric had been a year above him in Ravenclaw. He'd been better friends with Lily and Remus than he'd been with Sirius.

"I was Lily's friend," Gibson said matter-of-factly, but his eyes were drilling holes into Sirius. There was hatred on his face. "And then you murdered her."

Sirius took half a step back before he remembered that he knew that. He knew, everybody thought him guilty. This was nothing new.

Pull yourself together! Harry's the most important now!

"I didn't—" he started.

"Don't talk to me again, or I'll force you to shut up," Gibson warned.

Sirius snapped his mouth shut. His teeth clinked quietly.

Give him a moment, Sirius thought. Give him a minute to get used to your presence. Then you can ask again.

The door to the ministry dungeons banged open. A bit of light spilled in from the corridor outside.

"It's true," came an ecstatic voice. He knew that voice. It was the last human he had heard before his escape from Azkaban.

"You seem surprisingly sane, Black," hateful eyes stared down at him. A disgusted sneer on thin lips.

"Minister. Do you think you can part with your newspaper?" How he enjoyed the moment of bafflement on Fudge's face. "I so enjoy the crosswords."

"The first man to ever escape Azkaban," Fudge came sauntering up to the cell looking through the bars at Sirius. Sirius tried not to duck away from him and another memory of Azkaban.

No point to avoid the memory, you'll be back there soon enough.

"Did you think it would be so easy? That we wouldn't catch you?" He leaned close to the bars. Close enough for Sirius to grab him, but he knew if he would, he'd regret it.

"Where is Harry?" Sirius asked quietly, trying to stick to reason, trying not to rage against the bars like the madman they were surely expecting. "What happened there?"

"What?" Fudge hooted. "Did you think maybe your precious Lord came to kill him?"

Indeed, he had thought of that. Maybe Voldemort was back, and nobody had told him. More likely, though, was a death eater who had avoided capture. Fear gripped his heart, made breathing difficult.

"Well, you're crowing too soon, Black. Harry Potter is safe and sound under the watchful eye of the ministry."

Sirius looked up at him, into the minister's face, to see if he could trust his words. The glee there was real, the mocking grin and disgusted sneer. He was speaking the truth. Harry was safe. Alive and healthy…

"Thank Merlin…" He whispered.

Fudge seemed surprised at that. "Huh… I guess, you really want to do it yourself? I see, I see. Well, this was your final chance." He reached into his cloak and pulled out an old hourglass. "In four hours, you'll be back to Azkaban. You get the first ride on the ferry. Feel proud: You're VIP cargo to be sent off to Azkaban to be a VIP guest there. We'd like to find out how you did it? However, I think it might be more important—"

He was distracted when there was a knock at the heavy door to the cellblock.

"Ah, just when I was getting impatient. Tonks, could you get the door please?"

Sirius's head snapped up. Tonks? That was…! His eyes traveled to the young woman in auror trainee uniform that had come in with Fudge. He hadn't really given her a second thought, before. Tonks…

He shuffled over to the side of the cell closest to her. The chains around his ankles wouldn't allow for wide steps. Then he leaned against the bars, held them tight in his hands. The metal was cool in his palms.

"Tonks… You're Andy's daughter." He said. The woman already half on her way to open the door froze and stared at him. "You were eight when I last saw you," he said. "Do you remember me?"

"Can you make a pig's nose? Make a pig's nose?" Sirius laughed lifting his cousin's daughter up on his shoulders.

She giggled. "How does a pig's nose look?" She held on tightly to his hair, ripping a few strands. It hurt a little, and he knew she was destroying his style, but kids were the only people who were allowed to do that. Well, kids… and James. Out of necessity. James refused not to mess up his hair, and Sirius loved him too much to kill him to make him stop.

"What you don't know pigs? Didn't you ever see a pig? Ted! Ted, come down here. You're eight-year-old daughter never saw a pig!" He yelled up the staircase.

Andromeda giggled from where she set in front of the chimney in the living room. "Sirius, don't scream like that! We're in London. What do you think, where would she get to see a pig?"

Sirius looked at his cousin utterly scandalized. "Take her out of the city some. You can't have her go to Hogwarts without knowing how to turn her nose into a pig's snout."

"Yes, Mama!" Dora yelled from his shoulders pulling again at his hair in a way that made Sirius wince. "I need to know how to turn into a pig!"

"Why would she need to know that?" Andromeda shook her head.

"It would be a waste if she couldn't! She's a metamorphmagus. That's the greatest party trick ever, and you're denying her that by never showing her a pig!" He threw his hands up in mock frustration. "It's unfair."

"Yes, Mama," Dora said after him, throwing her hands up too. "It's unfair! I need to know that."

"What nonsense are you teaching my daughter, Black?" Ted appeared at the top of the stairs, grinning widely at the picture before him.

"Your daughter can't turn her nose into a pig snout," Sirius explained in a serious tone.

"You can't?" Ted asked his daughter.

"No, dad, I don't know how it looks. I only saw drawings of pigs, but that's not enough." She sounded dejected. "But Uncle Sirius is gonna teach me, right?"

"Right!"

"Damn… I guess we focused too much on the bunny ears, huh?" Ted muttered.

Sirius laughed.

"You two are the worst," Andromeda declared, walking up to the living room door. "You're turning my daughter into the class clown. I will have no part in it!" But Sirius saw her hide a grin as she pushed the door shut.

"Do you remember me?" he asked again in a more pressing tone, now. "Can you do the pig snout?" he heard himself ask sadly.

Dora stared at him. Her hair changed from bright pink to a more subdued mouse grey.

"Tonks! Hurry, will you!" the minister bellowed.

Dora jumped. She stepped on the end of her own cloak and tripped, only catching herself against the door. "Sorry, sorry," she muttered and pulled the door open.

"Ah, Minister Fudge," a new witch joined the group in front of his cell. Curly pale blond hair and a heavy jaw. In the flickering light of the single torch lighting up the corridor, Sirius saw penciled eyebrows. Her glasses blinked oddly, and he took a moment to realize, that there was jewelry embedded into the frame. She seemed oddly familiar, but he couldn't place her. "I was delighted to get your floo call. Is that him?"

She bowed forward to inspect Sirius closely like an animal in a zoo. Sirius backed away a little. He almost stumbled with the chains around his ankles.

"Yes, yes, that's Black," Fudge replied gleefully. "I'm glad we can finally close this chapter." He had put on his minister-voice, Sirius realized. Who was this woman?

"Luitpold Degenhart," the woman said, pointing to a young man with a long nose, that somehow reminded Sirius of Snivellus' beak. However, it wasn't the nose that made Sirius stare at the man. It was the unwieldy items he held in his hand. "You told me to bring a photographer, so I brought the best one the Daily Prophet has to offer. Louis, what do you think? Do we want the bars in the picture? To make it visibly clear, that he is caught again?"

She wasn't really looking at her photographer instead, she was walking up and down the length of the cell to look for a good angle.

"Will the light be a problem?" Fudge asked. "Should we get more torches?"

"No, we'll use our own lights," Degenhart said setting up a big wooden tripod in front of the cell. He then took out the wand and immediately the entire cell area lit up bright white. Sirius stumbled back shielding his eyes. This time, he tripped over his chains and landed heavily on his tailbone. He hissed.

Fudge laughed. But Sirius had already jumped up to his feet again.

"Dora!" He cried out for his niece. "Dora, I promise, I'm innocent! Tell your mother, please. I—"

"Silencio."

His jaw worked, but no words came out. Sirius screamed in frustration but remained utterly silent.

"I like that despair," the woman – Rita Skeeter he now recognized her – said with a gloating grin on her lips. "Can we get that again?"

Stunned, Sirius stared at her.

Fudge answered: "Oh of course, In fact, just when you knocked, I was about to share an idea I had with Mr. Black."

Sirius glowered at the minister, who still held his wand pointed at Sirius from when he had spelled him mute.

"Ah, do I have your attention again, finally?" Fudge asked. "Very well. I was just about to tell you, that we'd love to find out, how you escaped from Azkaban, but then, I was thinking… Maybe it's more important to make an example. What do you think, Black?"

Even if Sirius had anything to say to that, he couldn't. He scoffed. What kind of example? Cut down his already mediocre provisions? They'd starve him to death. At this point, he'd even welcome that to another twelve or more years in Azkaban. That was the problem when one already had the maximum sentence. No way to make it worse.

"So, I thought about bringing back a rather old punishment. In fact, I think it wasn't used by the ministry since even before you were born."

Anger at Fudge's gleeful tone made him ignore what the Minister had just said. But then just as he strolled up to the bars to try and spit him in the face, the meaning of Fudge's words caught up to him.

And suddenly, instead of grabbing the bars to rattle at them, to glare at Fudge and wish him the plague and a painful death, now he needed the bars for support.

They couldn't!

Please, no!

Not the Dementor's Kiss.

"The Dementor's Kiss…" Fudge announced, happy like a child in a toy store. "What do you think, does that sound like a just punishment for escaping your sentence and making a fool of the ministry?" He strolled up to the bars, grinning down at him.

He was so close, Sirius could strangle him, but Sirius didn't have the energy for that. All fight had drained out of him. And then he found himself on his knees. Hands still gripped around cold iron. And he couldn't breathe.

His heart was hammering in his chest, his breath was hitching and stuck in his throat. His chest hurt. And there it was… The panic, that had been brewing in him since he first woke up here. It was choking him.

Zzzz Pfaff!

He violently flinched at the loud explosion of gun powder from the camera.

"Beautiful," Degenhart praised his own work.

"Very nice," Skeeter said. "I think we can hold the interview at a less dreary place?"

"Of course," Fudge agreed, now casual. "After you, my dear. I really need to kick the Gamot, so they finally lift the ban on the Dementor's Kiss."

"So, it's not decided, yet?" Skeeter sounded almost disappointed.

"Well, politics is a slow business. It will be soon enough." He held the door for Skeeter and her photographer who had quickly put together the tripod, the camera still mounted on top of it and put out his magical lights. "Ah, before I forget it," Fudge remembered absentmindedly. "Finite Incantatem." He flicked his wand into the air, and then closed the door behind them.

With the return of Sirius' voice, ugly noises filled his cell. First, he thought he was crying, and he started wiping at his non-existent tears, but then he realized… He was laughing. Why was he laughing again?

Fuck! Stop laughing!

But choked, panicked, barking giggles filled the entire cell block. His shoulders shook.

Stop laughing!

He bit down on his palm so hard it hurt.

And then his laughter was overtaken by blaring sirens.

Notes:

Apparently, when I started writing this story I decided to give Kakashi an adventure and Sirius a really bad time... I'm so sorry, Sirius!

Also after I wrote this chapter I realized that it made little sense for there to still be so many people in the ministry after midnight. There are of course far fewer than there would normally be, but I forgot that the ministry was essentially empty when Harry and his friends went there in the fifth book... So let's just say, there was an abnormal number of people working overtime because of the hunt for Sirius and subsequent recapture? Does that make sense?

Kakashi here really gets to show some tricks that nobody expects - like clones. I don't think the magical world has anything quite comparable. Good thing they know nothing of his skillset so he can essentially do what he wants. But what will Sirius think, if there are suddenly two Tonks's?

Btw. I really enjoyed bringing in Tonks. I didn't really think about it before, but of course, she'd be involved in the hunt for Sirius - as canonically even the non-auror ministry workers were somehow involved. Tonks mother always was Sirius's favorite cousin, so surely, he must've known her as a kid... Really thinking about it breaks my heart.....

I really let him suffer way too much.