(22) Secret

“You have a fever.”

Oh, he thought. No wonder feels himself growing weaker with every passing minute.

He feels stuck, his feet rooted where he stands, weak and fragile. He decides to let Airi go, lowering himself until her feet touch the ground. He wasn’t able to get himself back up and instead finds himself leaning against Airi instead. She keeps mumbling something angrily along the lines of what he thinks are various ways of saying ‘I told you so!’ It sounded funny in his head despite being too weak to laugh. And it occurred to him that this must be the reason why she was so adamant on him putting her down.

She smells nice, he thought, his head placed fittingly on the nook of her left shoulder. He feels the soft fabric of her shirt against his skin and it registered to him that this is the first time that he is this close to her, only a thin fabric separating skin to skin, the thought seems to settle uncomfortable at the pit of his stomach for some reason. Faintly, he feels her right placed at his back while her other hand holding his shoulder carefully, gently supporting him. He finds himself relaxing more at this, his expression easing.

”Ren can you stand?” she asks him and it registered to him how weak he was as all he could manage was a weak nod. With what little strength he has, he begins to stand up with her support.

”Nina, a little help.” He looks up and sees Nina, looking over at him— at them, with this look of mild anxiousness. Her face seemed to be a shade darker to him, or maybe it was just the lighting.

Nina begins to says something but it reaches him jumbled, his head was starting to ache. He didn’t miss Airi’s reaction however which he thinks is odd. She seemed to stiffen, her hold on him falters and it sets him wondering why.

He forces himself to overcome his sickness, all to clear the line between his blurring consciousness and the real world.

”Just until I know he’s alright.” He hears Airi say. It was quiet for a while, until he feels his arm lifted. Nina was beside him, and places his arm over her shoulder.

He seemed to recover a bit of his strength when they reached the clinic, he feels Airi relax a bit against him.

At a glance they see that the clinic was empty until they hear shuffling by the bed and saw a pair of feet peeking on the curtains covering the bed and they debated to call out to the person fearing him to be a patient. It was until Airi calls out towards the pair of feet in this oddly over-familiar tone, that the feet shifts again, this time it came with a reply as the bed creaks to adjust the man as he sits up the bed. The man reveals himself and immediately he hears Airi sigh, mutters something to herself, it was then that he turns and recognizes the man.

There was this brief, unrestrained burst of laughter, asking what the hell is she (and by that he means Airi) doing and what the hell did she do this time to land her into this mess.

“—Wait, you didn’t cause this, did you?!” Nathan says, suddenly turning serious.

“Of course not!” She almost yells in that same familiarity as when Ren first saw them together. She made a snide comment that seemed to make the man laugh harder. “This would be a great story to everyone!” He teases her.

“You guys know each other?” Nina was the first to ask. Nathan could only nod, he was struggling for breaths from laughing too much. He introduced himself as the clinic assistant and briefly explained his relationship with Airi as a frequent customer in the clinic. Ren was unconvinced, thinking that there must be more to their relationship than meets the eye, remembering their particularly close interaction the other day.

“So, what seems to be the problem?” Nathan asks, looking over at Ren and his weakened state.

It was Nina who answers. “Ren has a fever. He has been feeling sick for a while now. Honestly, he should stop forcing himself like this.”

”I’m not the only one,” Ren manages to say, “Airi is sick too.”

”I see,” Nathan says, looking over at Airi, who seems to stay oddly quiet for some reason, although he could guess why. He tells Nina to stay with him while the two head to the bed and rest for a proper check up.

He says to Nina, “I need to ask you a few questions about the Ren.”

Nathan noted how she was strangely reluctant as she looks over Airi, probably fearing leaving the two alone. “It’s just for a few seconds,” he assures her. She nods at this and lets go of Ren.

Nathan and Airi exchange glances before going on their separate directions.

Ren perceives how Airi carefully places him on the bed first, like a fragile item. With his face close to hers, he sees more clearly how she seemed to change physically during the times they were apart. Her face seemed more mature close up with her eyes which seemed to have this gleam now and her cheekbones seemed are more defined. He remembered some of the new friends he made thought she was cute, with her quiet and timid demeanor, something his friends in high school used to say about her as well (how she would be pretty if she could only stay still and smile more). He tries looking at her eyes that were still sharp and unapproachable as ever, with one difference. Were her eyelashes always this long?

He realizes how much he changed as well. They used to be the same height, but now she has become this petite person against him. He realizes what three years could do to a person.

She started wearing a necklace too, he observes. She didn’t used to wear those things; it seemed aged yet treasured carefully.

He holds her arm, their last line of connection. ”I’m sorry,” he breathes out before bursting in a fit of cough. What timing he thought. She caresses his back, one longer than the other “it’s okay.”

”But I—“

”Ren,” she calls his name with this gentle voice. “It’s okay. Just focus on getting better. You always do this.

It’s not your fault.” She says, holding his hand firmly. There was no hesitation or fear in her voice, only reassurance, he doesn’t need to prove how sorry he was or how truthful he was being or make any promises because in her eyes, it’s not something he should do. It must be from constantly watching over her but slowly, he’s starting to understand how she thinks. He nods and finally rests back on the bed.

“Get some rest.”

He smiles, “thanks, you too,” he didn’t miss that he isn’t the only one who needs rest. She smiles at this and only nods.

“I’ll be on the next bed.” With this, she pulls the curtain to a close. With this, he hoped this awkwardness between them could be settled. It wouldn’t be much, he thinks although it would be great if they could go back to how they were before.

He fell asleep hopeful, excited. Everything should be okay he thought. He wanted to go see her once he wakes up and talk to her. Once he opened his eyes however, it was Nina who greeted him who immediately hugged him and asks how he is feeling. He smiles and say he feels better. He was seated up and sees the room dyed in the orange colored sunset, his bag is placed at his side.

The curtain between was pulled back and he sees the bed next to him laid empty, devoid of any proof anyone even slept in it.

__________

After a while, Airi hears Ren’s even breathing as he slips into sleep.

Honestly, she didn’t realize immediately that the guy has a fever, she only wanted to be let down and leave because Nina has been staring daggers at her, reminding her through pins and needles that she promised to leave them alone. It wasn’t her fault though, it was Ren who approached her— err, bumped into her.

”He said you need to rest,” Nathan says when he sees that she’s preparing to leave. “He’s going to be upset when he wakes up and sees you’re not beside him.“

Nina stays quiet and watches her.

Airi snorts, “yeah, well, it’s because a certain someone doesn’t help with the festival preparations.”

Nathan shrugs, looking away like he doesn't know what he’s talking about.

She goes back to go the time before running into him. She was dead tired to the point that anything at this point seemed like something she would want to lie on. She can’t take it! Bad enough that she’s a freakin member of whatever help-club this is, she was also made president? No, just no.

(Although she can’t deny that the payout is good.)

And it was because of those credits and allowance that everyone was so gung-ho about making this festival a complete success. For the love of God, the members only composed of five members! It’s why Nathan even approved of an allowance and credits in the first place.

The ideas kept flooding in more than the members themselves could work on themselves and she bears the full brunt of it by asking around, checking if the idea was even feasible, and what to do, like how a club president should.

So when Ren bumped into her, it took her a while to realize who it was. She was trying hard to make herself look so self-sufficient in front of him that it was embarrassing. When she finally had the guts to look at him in the eye and tell him she’s fine however, she understood that he isn’t as dandy as he made himself out to be. He is the last person to be lending a help with how he clearly needs more help himself.

Nathan always hated how stubborn she is, as clearly seem with how he’s staring at her, his arms crossed with his brows knotted together with this frustrated frown he always had whenever she talks badly about his favorite idol. He scratches the back of his head, “I’ll see you out.” He says in this resigned tone.

.

“So,” Nathan asks as they talk in a bench in front of the soccer court. “What did you do?”

She slumps further in her seat, frowning, “nothing.”

”Like hell it was nothing,” he says, blowing smoke from his cigarette. In front of them, some students were enjoying playing soccer. “She was afraid of leaving you two alone for God’s sake.”

“She didn’t want to leave us alone enough for me to say something.” Airi says, watching the ball as it gets passed from one player to another.

”Well, that would have been bad.” He snorts

She frowns deeper. ”How? Ren doesn’t have even an ounce of trust in me. He just wanted to make amends.”

”Clearly that’s not how she sees it.”

”Whatever. All I’m saying is, her secret is safe with me.”

Oddly enough, he laughs at this. He throws his cigarette butt at the side. “You’re the last person to be trusted with a secret.”

Airi turns to Nathan as he stands up, “what’s that supposed to mean?”

He grins and places his hand on her head, “it’s exactly what I mean,” and starts rummaging her hair.