Ten years before clarity

It's taken ten long years of living to come to a conclusion. I'm alive, and I'm living a dream. 

It took so long for several reasons. The world I'm in is no longer one of semi peace where I can laze around and still live. It's a world of the strong, where what they say goes. Even more ridiculous is that it seems to be a fictional world I have once read in a book, one I just so happened to choose for reincarnation when I daydreamed. It didn't help that this whole time I've been in a semi-conscious state that allowed me to do some crazy stuff with no shame. This was further exasperated when I faced little to no consequences, which I later learned was just the innate ability of my new family's bloodline at work. 

I finally came out of what I could only call my haze when I contracted the family heirloom, a grimoire. A curious little book a quarter the size of what was said a regular grimoire was. When I contracted the bronze-colored wonder, some information was stuffed in my head.

Apparently, I had been the first attempt at a reincarnation by a fledgling God. My new life packed full of my dreams was compensation by the god's parents for the comically horrendous job their son did. I got to learn exactly what he tried to do and to be honest, I'm worried. He had no idea what he was doing and if his parents didn't step in he might have just ground my soul into nothing. I'm right to be worried too. I suffer from what could only be called a heart attack every so often, but now I learn that it's just the phantom pains of my soul. No actual damage and nothing to be concerned with, but they feel just like a heart attack. I would continue with my inner monologue and ruminations on the remaining knowledge I acquired, but it appears that the clan members around me are freaking out a tad bit. It's a family tradition for all members to try and contract our heirloom every year till we reach twenty. A tradition that just ended after a thousand years. 

They got over their mild panic and started discussing a celebration. It seems that all clansmen are going to be called back to the ancestral compound which will take some time. Until then it looks like I'm staying here as there is no point in going home if I'm already here and was sent to the room assigned to me as part of the main family. I have a lot to think about. My emotions are a mess and I'm going to need a while to sort them out. For one, I'm apparently in love and never confessed despite my uninhibited state. I had a loose grasp of emotions in my haze and still had not entered puberty so nothing happened between me and her. A fairly good thing considering that the woman I'm in love with is my new mother and neither universe I have lived in welcomes incest. Though that won't stop me, the woman is an SSS tier Milf and I don't think I can love anyone else but her. I think she is also part of god's compensation as well since she embodies most of my fetishes. Best of all, no one other than I will come on strong because she's not a standard Chinese beauty. She's got the cute face and the jade-like skin but she's not exactly what others with more strict standards would want.

I think I've deviated from the topic. I'm going to need to look at my grimoire before anything. I think I know what's going to be in there, but I need to check.