Chapter Thirteen: “Smile”

I'm waking up too early; it's still dark. When is the day that I don't need to wake up anymore? This was the first thought that came to mind that morning. Exactly why do I need to live like ordinary people? Sleeping, eating, studying, working, and waking up to the same routine every day, all their lives, is human nature, or do people only do this to satisfy their inner selves?

I can't believe it's the 15th of the month. Every 15th of the month, our school hosts a sports event. I hate it too much because it needs a lot of connecting and touching with each other. I took my outfit and my bag, leaving the house hoping for something to happen so that I couldn't go there. As always, it's crowded. I stand far away, watching how other students are enjoying this day. What makes them so happy? Is it because they can connect easily and freely? I don't care; I'm okay and fine as long as I'm far away from them. But why is there something inside me that wants to be with them—to listen to their voices, to watch their faces closely, to play with them, to fall down and get hurt with them—but I have this weak body, this prison that I can't escape? Finally, he appears to be "Raza." Why do I care? What the hell was I just waiting for him to do? Wait a minute, why is his outfit different? A long-sleeved shirt and pants, and is he wearing gloves? It's not that cold to wear this to a sports event. The event starts, and we need to start running around. I didn't participate as usual. While I was just watching the opening, I saw him running towards me. He took my hand, and somehow I'm now running with them. Did he wear this to help me participate in this event? Is he protecting me from being touched? Is that what he means when he says that he will protect me? That feeling is so beautiful. This is the first time in my life that I'm trying something unusual, something that I will never do by myself. It's the break; he took me to an empty place far away from the crowded stadium.

"Here, drink some water," Raza said, and he added, "Are you enjoying this?" I looked at him.

"Enjoy? It's my first time doing this, so I don't know how to describe this feeling". He burst into laughter at how beautiful it was.

Something magical that my heart aches for. People, how weak we are to fall for just a smile. Suddenly, he stopped and stared into my face. Why is he looking like that? He took his phone, and he took a photo for me. Huh, what the hell is he doing? This boy is really messing with my entire existence.

"I'll cherish this photo my whole life".

My confused face said it all.

"Your smile is beautiful, Mara."