Chapter 17

The woman lifted her head up, her hair falling back to completely reveal her face. Her mouth fell agape and she took in her own much needed breaths. Here sat his Victoria. Straddling him, rather. Removed glasses, totally nude, and giving him a lap dance. She stopped for a moment before realizing she had to continue otherwise be yelled at for not working. She began moving around yet still in a total loss of words.

"Get off of me," Beau said quietly, hoping not to draw attention to the situation. He didn't need his friends to know this woman he had been drooling over all night was in fact the love of his life. They'd eyed her. They'd seen her naked. They saw his woman naked.

Victoria slowly moved back, standing up before him. She had not a word to say in fear of how he would react. One thing remained the same: neither of them took their eyes off each other.

Beau's dead stare made Victoria burn inside, she knew he was ready to scream her stupid had they not been in the company of his friends. He stood up slowly, still remaining steadfast at her own pupils. He saw her guilt, but it wasn't enough. Beau turned around and started heading for the exit.

"Beau, where you going man?" Weston called out.

Victoria stood dumbfounded. After months of secrecy, of protecting Beau from her reality, he'd caught her in the very act.

"He ain't wasting my money, come here," Weston stated.

Victoria felt horrible to have to dance for someone that was clearly Beau's friend. He looked back once when making his way for the door. He saw her walking over to his friend, stepping over him and showcasing her revealed breasts in his face.

His heart sunk. He slammed the door on the way out.

The end of Victoria's shift couldn't have come sooner. She moved without hesitations but couldn't rid herself of the sweat stemming from her guilt, oozing copiously from every inch of her exposed body. The music was but a blur in the background, spectators cartoons when she looked over them. She thanked her brain for being able to ignore the pain within while she continued to move as if nothing had happened.

But that was all over the second she stepped outside. The cold wind slapped her face the second the heavy door shut behind her. She knew this slap was nothing compared to the one she would receive later.

Victoria faced downward on her way to her vehicle, trying to decide what she would attempt next. A pair of feet made her freeze. She looked up to see Beau leaning against her car.

"Beau. I don't even know where to begin," Victoria trembled. His state was like nothing she'd witnessed before. There was no emotion in his deep cast eyes, the ones that peered at her from above like the glowering parent to a naughty child.

It seemed like Beau was going to speak up until he himself tripped over any logical comment he could make. His pain over the hour of waiting for her to come out set him on a fire he'd never been burnt from before.

"How long has this been going on?" he finally spoke up.

"I started 3 years ago."

She could hear a need to vomit in his throat. She could feel a need to cry in her own eyes.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I knew you wouldn't want to speak with me again if I did. I didn't want to let you get close to me. I saw this happening."

"But you let it happen anyway. You knew I was falling in love with you. You could have told me."

"I fell in love with you too."

He was quickly ready to retort but stopped himself. Instead he snickered, a biting his lip like he had a scream to send back down his lungs.

"Beau, I'm really sorry. I never meant for you to find out this way."

"I didn't even want to come here, by the way. I kept telling my friends I wasn't interested in seeing other women naked. Why would I when I have the most beautiful woman to myself? At least I thought I did. I mean, fuck, the misery I put myself through for weeks when I first met you, fantasizing about you, letting you rule my thoughts. Why didn't someone just tell me all I had to do was come here with a $20?!" he roared.

Victoria could feel her skin trembling from the bass of fury echoing in his words. She couldn't bare to see his face. He was ready to scold her until her skin turned black.

"I'm so sorry Beau."

"Please tell me this is as far as it goes, please tell me you aren't putting out for money too."

"Absolutely not. I wouldn't do such a thing."

"As if this isn't disgusting!" he sarcastically spat at her. "So you lied about your other job, clearly. I can't believe how horrible I felt about what happened with my ex and Dean Chambers, when you yourself have been lying to me this entire time and clearly have no shame whatsoever. At least I owned up to it!"

"You didn't own up to it, Adam Walcott is the reason I found out about your dating other women!"

"That is completely irrelevant now! I might have been seen with another woman, but I didn't touch her or expose myself to her!"

"I don't feel good about it, but I have to. I need this income."

Beau continued to lean against her car, looking away in his best attempt to calm himself from whatever hurt he felt clawing at his soul.

"I don't know what to do. I love you so goddamn much. But I can't do this. What would people say if they found out my girlfriend's a slut?"

"What does it matter to anyone else what goes on between us?"

"I have an important role in society Victoria! I congregate with elite socialites! I have a job at an esteemed university that requires me to have higher expectations. It's bad enough I fell for a student, I can't fall in love with a whore too!"

Victoria tried her best not to take offense to his taunting words.

"I'm disgusted with you."

"I know Beau. I wholeheartedly apologize."

"I don't know where to go from here."

"Me neither."

"I need to leave with my dignity intact. It's a shame you don't have any, because I swore you were the definition of it."

Beau quickly turned around and walked off back toward his car.

Victoria took in any many breaths as she could as she watched him drive away. She felt like a fish out of water, desperately trying to keep herself alive in the moment. There was no solution right now but to hope he'd either be okay with it and let it go, putting his "I love you" to the test, or accept that it was over. She stumbled over to her car and decided she needed to wait a while to drive. She could not think straight let alone see. The way she had his anger burnt into her sight, it seemed like she never would.