Ch.8:

♦︎ Unversed feelings ♦︎

Ena



I opened my eyes up to the sound of my alarm going off indicating 5am . I lazily turned around to try and turn it off but I just ended up flailing my arms in the void. In my half asleep state , I heard Lone stirring from her own sleep below my bed and I could already make out her mumbling something about it being too early to wake up.

We slept late last night after having a long conversation about everything that happened yesterday. It was something along the lines of girls doing boys talk and by that I mean the only human being that actually marked my attention enough that I remembered his name . I remembered him. Dave. The thought of him immediately waking up my mind as I smiled to myself .

Somehow everything felt more vibrant this morning . It was different from that morning on which I woke up without any pain or nightmare. I felt... excited yet a little worried about whether Dave was still mad at me. But since I felt the mini light of hope from having Lydia as a friend I didn't want to give up on the hope of getting Dave as well.

I quickly got up from my bed to start getting ready for school. Today I felt like dressing myself in the colors of autumn with a simple long sleeved dress whose hem reached my knees along with soft tights and knee high boots. I had a feeling maybe dressing like my favorite season would enlighten my day and keep dark unknown secrets and mean Mothers away.

I came out of the bathroom and started stuffing my bag and did my best at shoving my yarn for crochet into my already full bag, all the while trying to wake Lone up.

" Hey sleepyhead move your sleepy butt and get going with no sleepy laziness to your more than sleep-inducing school." I said trying to get some reaction from her. I knew that if I tried to make one of my lame rhymes that would definitely wake up in her, her snickering Miss-I-Correct-Everyone self.

" Enaëlle Loréanne Montella please stop being lame and embarrassing myself in front of me." And it worked. Though I was not sure who made the least sense between us both right now.

I just smiled contentedly. I crossed my arms in front of my chest holding one arm with another hand. I felt the warmth of my hand sipping through the fabric of my dress despite its thickness. This reminded of my newly formed friendship . Will this be of one of those kinds that can withstands obstacles and emotional baggage barriers ?

" Something is different about you . You have this happy unconscious smile on right now." I snapped out of my thoughts to see my sister still lying on the ground uplifting her face in her hands , her eyes scrutinizing me .

She can sometimes have eyes like a laser and scan all the feelings out of you. Even though I'm used to her I still couldn't help but squirm under her gaze. She finally sat up and smiled knowingly.

" This is because of your new friends right ? That Lydia and Dave-guy right ?" I couldn't help but feel a little heat down my belly. Was I that readable ?

" Say do you think it's desperate or lame that I feel excited to see them or that I kind of feel worried that they would end up wanting to leave me because I am boring or worse when of one my fits manifest themselves or-"

" Cut it out right here young lady! ✋- She said holding her arm up in a stop motion in front of me - I can't have anymore of that baby rant so early in the morning and I can't advise you wisely because you woke me up without my permission ."

" Lone I am being serious and quite frankly starting to freak out. You know Lydia only about told me I was her friend yesterday and I'm not even sure if Dave's still in anymore. "

"And I just realized you needed to pay me for being your sister and just outright having to stand you and yourself . Pay up woman , if you want kind words and a hug. "

" Lone !" I said exasperated . Why was she being so annoying right now ?

" Okay ! Okay ! Fine but you can't blame me for seeing business everywhere ." She lazily stood up from her kneeling position and slumped herself on me. She then heaved a long sigh.

" You know I got a little shocked when I saw you being so happy right now. I kind of forgot this smile you just had. The one you used to have when we still had papa monti.-" then she pulled back looking at me with wistful eyes.

" Then I got afraid when you told me about your own fears . Because they are the same as mine. I am worried even terrified that you'll end up broken again and I'll be left to pick up the pieces." she hugged me again tighter and snuggled in my neck .

I instinctively hugged her and softly stroked her back in circular motions with my nails. We stayed standing like that for a few second as if lost in our own musings.

" But you know what ? - She said untangling herself from the hug. " I am ready to fight them with my fists and whatnots if they ever hurt you the girl or the boy or them both , just after I try to help you put yourself back together." She said with a confident smile. I couldn't decide whether she was encouraging me or saying I was weak yet I couldn't help but smile back. Really , was I always the stronger of us both ?

～ ♦︎ ～

Ann

" Haina ! Avasia ! Girls ! Come down now or you'll miss Ena and Lone! "

" Okay mommy !," I heard a thunder of steps coming down and stood in front of the stairs with the kids' lunch boxes in hand.

I smiled warmly when I saw them , quickly gave them pecks on the lips and saw them off the porch just as Ena and Lone came by.

I stood watching the children hugging and talking excitedly all at once. I could see from where I stood that Ena looked brighter than ordinarily , and for a split moment I hoped that maybe , just maybe her situation at home may have improved.

Even though that wouldn't have happened overnight.

And I knew if anything major was to happen my strong girlie wouldn't hide it from me.

Still Ena's facial expression prickled my curiosity enough that I decided I couldn't wait till after school to see her and ask her about it.

I just went straight ahead and approached her from behind . The children saw me coming, but didn't alert her. I should have probably been a dutiful mother and tell them that you shouldn't be accomplices with people over bad surprises , but well, I'm not a dutiful momma.

Then I heard a yelp from her as I hurled myself on her back and you would think she would crumple under my weight , but I gotta say, I did train that girlie well on her muscles.

" Ann ! How many times did I tell you not to tackle me from behind ? I thought you grew yourself out of this and promised you wouldn't shock my heart out of my chest !"

" Well girlie we didn't make a signed arrangement did we ? Therefore your complaints don't apply . Besides you've gotta reckon that I get you a pretty good arms workout every time ." I said smiling. She would usually scrunch up her nose looking mildly annoyed, but coming from her background, it seemed kind of normal she had minimal reactions to things. Which never bothered me. But today she had a full-blown smile I never saw on her before.

To say the truth I haven't always been there for my girlie. I only moved here recently about 2 years before and met her and her sister one day sitting outside of their house . They wore gloomy expressions little girls their age shouldn't have . It was then their mother came storming outside their house and started dragging them by their hairs. Something snapped in me then , and I just had to jump in to their rescue !

No actually , I just went to her with the excuse of the newly settled neighbor wanting to invite her neighboring friends to tea.

Of course I used all the praise words I could possibly find in my mental dictionary and I woke up in That Woman the feeling of hers that I become so familiar with: her irrepressible pride.

It was at that time that I decided I had to be a guardian over them and started the seemingly never-ending battle of protecting them , though knowing their mother and her positions , I could never win . Neither could I have the children as my own.

So I took on the task of being their mother outside home. Their replacement mummy. No actually Big sister.I'm not that old.

I looked straight in my strong girlie's eyes and just said these words :

" Whatever or whomever we owe that smile to , may God bless them with long lives so we can always have this smile for us ." Her smile changed from happy to nearly crying and she hugged me tightly , thus getting us into a group hug.

～ ♦︎ ～

Ena

We were walking along the school road with the twins , everyone being a little silent by now. The way to our different schools was about to separate in just a few meters.

I looked to my left at Lone who seemed a little loony . Come to think about it I don't really know a lot about Lone's school life . I didn't know what was her favorite thing to do at school , her favorite subjects, whether she had any friends .... Things she still wouldn't tell me about after my last attempt.

I had a feeling it had to do with me. I mean I know my life overall hasn't really been a good example to her and maybe because of the things that people do to me she's too afraid to get friends ?

I looked back at her and saw she plugged in her earphones, clearly indicating she wanted to shut out the outside world.

I sighed and glanced at the the twins who were busy looking at their own feet... wait , no actually they we're trying to step into each other's shadow that was projecting itself on the ground.

Then they got tired from trying to beat each other and ended up attacking Lone . Lone tried to dodge them from walking on her shadow but they jumped on her, forcing a smile on her face.

She finally gave herself to the game , and she ran in the front while trying to keep the girls away. I chuckled quietly at them, but even then they heard it and ran back towards me .

" Ouch! Hey, you can't walk on me !" I exclaimed as was wrestling with Lone who was on the twins side .

" We're not walking on you! Only on your shadow. " Ava answered just as Haina said ;

"ohohoho ! Ena you're such a baby !" and saying so she pushed me so hard I fell on my butt, then she tackled me in a hug.

I pouted bitterly. Clearly these children were a lot stronger than me. The three of them started a laughing spree, taking pleasure in taunting me.

〜♦︎〜

We dropped Ava and haina off to elementary school with a kiss on each of their cheeks. Then there suddenly appeared out of nowhere a herd of mini guys not taller than three apples, all shoving over each others to try and get the twins' attention. And maybe become the lucky one to carry their bags.

I looked perplexed at what was unfolding in front me. I never knew the twins were actually serious and the boys were this many!

" Girls, don't forget not to share too many of your cookies with the boys. You shouldn't be kind too when it comes to cookies okay ?" Lone said from near me as they twins were already running away.

" Lone, shouldn't we do something about this?" I asked more preocuppied with the girls social life than their cookies.

" Ena you know my policy already 'don't stuff with Mawa's stuffs or you'll get stuffed'. I'm not here, I haven't seen anything, haven't heard anything. "

I was done being shocked by Lone's reactions a long time ago.

So I just resolved to go ahead and talk this out with Ann. She's not the most sane and appropriate person to talk to about this but James, her husband, was not here so she'd have to do.

We walked a few more meters before reaching Lone's school. Upon stopping there, she turned to me.

" Ena , don't forget your ridiculous disguise." Lone reminded me of what I wear to hide my face when nearing R.P High, before she went in.

I tried to follow her inside but she closed the door in my face and gave me a pointed look. I resolved to wave her goodbye and fumbled in my bag, to pull out a blue wig and a fake nose.

My sister said I looked ridiculous with it but I thought myself artsy looking. I did this to try and avoid any wayward paparazzi that would try to photoshoot me and keep myself from the harm of any rival schools student who would try and tarnish my innocent image. According to Lone.

After all I wasn't as lucky as the other A-list students who would get to school by limousine or with their parents . My mother did have the means but she would never waste her time and money on me if there was no benefit from it.

If it weren't for the fact that I worked hard at school which would earn her notoriety and make her a honorary parent for the school , she wouldn't even bother to dress me. By which I mean giving Greta the money and getting her to buy me clothes.

My sister gets of course to go shopping with her . She would literally force Lone to have some mother-daughter time. Of course Lone hated their going out and tried to avoid them as much as she could . But her forcing Lone never came down to beating her. Unlike me.

A single tear sled down my cheek. I swiftly wiped the culprit thing away and blinked my eyes several times to try and rid my mind from the thought.

I'm going to school soon and I need my emotional mask now. I can't afford for Dave or Lydia to know this side of me. Not yet.

I had to squat down in a little corner of the sidewalk to try and calm down . I blew out a shaky breath and tried my hardest not to remember the last time she beat me. Still the almost fading scars on my arm did a good job at reminding that my blood was probably made of drugs now.

" Hey , miss are you okay ?" I heard a familiar voice asking me . I lifted my head and tried to peek at him from under my lashes and felt ashamed that anyone should see me crying. It was ... Dave ?

What was he doing here ? And how did he find me ?

" Hey miss ? Can you hear me ? "

Besides wasn't he mad at me or something ?

" Salut ! Halo ! Sprichst du Deutsch? ( do you speak german)"

From the way he was asking questions in different languages to me, it might be that he didn't recognize me. I guessed this was a good thing. At least I'd be able to observe and find out whether we were still on speaking terms.

" Well I guess I should just forcefully help you then if you won't talk to me." he said as he pulled me up from the ground.

" Come on strange-mystery- girl I might as well lead you to the police station in case your irresponsible parents that forsake you , probably because of your looks ,decide to come pick you up." I thought how my mom was the irresponsible one and Greta the better one. It hurt me that he would call Greta irresponsible but I couldn't blow up my cover.

" So it seems that I'll be going on a monologue, the whole way to the police station ?" He inquired trying to coax me to talk. Instead of giving in I pointed to him the insignia on my dress.

" Yeah you're right they're really big !" I blinked my eyes in astonishment and wondered what he was referring to. My tummy?

I distanced myself a bit from him and tugged on the badge I had kept hidden under my blue curls. A-listers didn't need to wear uniforms but we still had to wear our school insignia. I pulled it and showed it to him. His eyes widened in recognition.

" Oh you're from the same school as me ! That's even better then come lil damsel lead the way." I didn't know what he trying to do with the nicknames.

" You know you remind me of a girl , who's about the same height as you , but just got different features. Thought I wouldn't say she's pretty , but quiet on the ugly side."

Who should that be ?

"She's the weirdest thing , I tell you ! Wasn't even capable of remembering a single name she heard ! "

That might be someone else. Surely I can't be the only person around here who doesn't remember names. Right?

" When I tell you I am offended I am saying less of it . I think she should be taught basic manners and just be plain brought to the hospital for checking."

" Why is it that bad not to remember a person whom you've met only a day ago and with the possibility of you meeting again being only of a mere 20%? - "

" But also you know , she has this thing going on with her , some kind of bouts of craziness that make her come out as a freak.-" He briefly glanced at me.

" I've always thought that this happened because she was alone . Because she never seemed to have anyone to hang out with. True I am not very often at school , but I have a knack for spotting the unusual things that happen there just so I don't get bored. And it happened that I came across one of those moments she was having them."

" There was no one in that corner of the school , so I thought she must have been hiding, to go through it. Again alone . So I just assumed it was extreme loneliness that drove her crazy like that." His voice was surprisingly sad.

" Say, were you afraid ? Of her I mean ?" I said in a soulless voice not even caring if he recognized it.

"I was too far to see much but I heard things and I had figured she wouldn't want anyone to witness this. So I just stayed by in case she needed help."

" Why didn't you help her then ? Maybe if she had seen you she would have bore it better . Maybe she wouldn't feel this much alone ! "

Feelings of belonging stirred within me . That type that only my close , loved ones would instill in me. I felt as tough, in that moment, I had a claim on his newfound care for me. Then that feeling turned into sadness for something I lost before I even had it. It felt false but so real.

" Maybe I was a coward? Maybe I thought even if tried I wouldn't be of any help.Maybe it reminded me of how unjust it was of me to hate my own life , when someone was hanging to hers with all her might. Maybe I hated that it reminded me of how ungrateful and lucky I was and that made me feel uncomfortable?" he stated as he was visibly clenching his fist.

I felt as if this outburst had more to do with things I was not aware of about him.

I kept silent, pondering over whether it was a good idea to start a friendship with someone that sounded so scarred already. I wondered if he'd want to know more about me if he was already that afraid. Would our friendship further break us both or would we help pick up each other's pieces? Would I want to know more about him then?

He had stopped walking by that time and stood a bit ahead with his back to me. I couldn't imagine what was going on in his mind and how could I when I've never even known a guy for this long before. But I certainly knew what was going on in my own head.

" Maybe we should get going now." I suddenly heard him say as he started walking again. I silently followed suit.

~♦︎~

Ena

When we arrived at the school, we were almost running late . We did meet Mrs. Corynthin on our way to class but since we were A-listers we didn't get into any trouble and instead got some weird type of threatening.

" If I ever find you that late again Ms. Montella and Mr. Blinswors , even with your million earning brains , I will capitalize instead on your legs that I'll cut as a result, alright ?" She said smiling in a deformed manner.

" It's not all right but ... We'll say yes." Dave bravely said. She just heaved a huff and stomped away.

Then when he wordlessly started to head over to our class, I finally grabbed the courage to talk to him .

" Say, are you still mad with that girl you mentioned."

" Don't know. Do you always have this obvious wig on ?" I stole a glance towards him and found him standing arms crossed in front of him , looking expressionless . I timidly tugged on my wig while looking away. He decided to end my misery.

" Well , I don't know, if she's fine being friends with a guy having a history of long absences in class , being possibly friendless and having a huge fanbase of girls that hate his careless guts, awesome looks , a killer intellect , a love for bunnies , and many other weird stuffs that you probably wouldn't want to know, then yeah why should I be mad with someone like me."

Suddenly I felt hidden emotions escaping my heart. How could all that be real ? Should I hope for this to continue ? Can I really hope everything in my life will settle down like this ? Even... my mom ? That thought brought a dark cloud over my head. No... That wouldn't be normal would it ?

I felt wetness over my cheeks . For one moment I thought it started to rain until I felt my own warm tears. I started breaking down again in front of him. I held my head down as I started crying. Then I heard footsteps coming close, but I raised my hand in an attempt to keep him away.

" No ." Don't come any closer, to my heart, to little broken me, the little me that didn't have this much happiness in so long.

He seemed to have heard my unvoiced thoughts as I heard him back off. Was he going to stay nearby again ? Or was he going to flee like all the others I ever approached ?

I felt the familiar pang of pain in my tummy . No. Not now. Oh please , not now, not now, not now... I kept on chanting and chanting as I felt myself being taken over again by what's stronger than me. Evil claws of fire clamped at my throat almost consummating me. I was burning from inside out.

Help ! Help !

～ ♦︎ ～

" You go away from her . GO AWAY ! Or I'll kill you !"

I heard her scream as she was convulsing with pain. Cold fear crept up my spine and I slowly started backing off. I don't wanna stay here ! I can't be here ! I won't be of any use to her right , if I stayed ?

" DAVONNN !!" Her heart wrenching scream made my heart leap out of my chest. I was sweating profusely , and breathing really hard . Never have I ever witnessed something so terrifying before .

She was clutching at the ground with her back that was arching up so high that I thought it might break . Then she hit herself on the ground loudly as if someone just beat her down. I frenetically felt for my throat and my back as if I was the one who was in pain.

It was then I heard a small commotion coming from the classes adjacent from us. Panic seized me . Quick I need to do something ! They can't find her like that ! I turned to look at her. But - but I can't c-can't come close .

Just when I was going to give up and run for my life , I heard her whimper , the weak sounds having replaced her loud demonic like voice. Tears welling up my eyes, I hurriedly dragged myself off the ground almost tripping on my feet and went to her.

Then I tried to hold her in my arms but as soon as I got her she debated herself , and scratched my arms and my neck to blood. It was as if she weighed two times more.

After some struggle I finally managed to haul her on by back , almost collapsing under her , amidst my own tears and ragged breaths. Then I ran as fast as I could carry us to the school's rose garden.

~♦︎~

Dave

I was sitting , my back leaning against a tree , a few meters away from her and hardly able to catch my breath. I watched as she lay on the grass , her chest rising and falling slowly with her shagged breaths. Tears , matching my own , were still sliding down her cheeks and she kept twitching every which second.

I was still shocked from what I witnessed and couldn't believe it was real. How could she ? How did she change from that sweet girl to the unworldly pain-ridden soul she became ? And why the heck did I feel as though my whole life was in danger when she howled my name like that ?

DAVON !!!

I suddenly jumped out of nowhere as if I could still hear the terrifying sound and frenetically looked around me until my gaze fell on the poor girl lying limp.

Thank God it wasn't coming from her.

But my words proved wrong when she started grunting in a low voice.

" ....Hmm.... leave him with me , if I get him I won't let go . I'll kill him"

I-I can't stay here . I-I need to go ! I need to -

Then she arched herself up again and screamed a deafening scream so much so I had to plug my ears. My fears paralyzed me and I crouched down unable to move , or to scream for help , or even stop crying . I couldn't help cautiously looking in her way , my frenzied heartbeats tempting me to dart away at the slightest movement of hers.

Then I heard rustling of leaves , which set my mind into overdrive . What's happening again ? Oh, my God let it not be from Ena-

But I was mistaken when I saw that Lydia-girl running towards us. She didn't notice me as she sat near Ena and held her close to herself as the girl put up a struggle with her again. Except that unlike me Lydia held stronger . She was stroking her hair while whispering in her ear. Then after sometime she began rocking herself with her and Ena's struggles diminished . She then stayed still with her some more, her eyes closed.

I wearily dipped my head in between my knees. Weird and confused thoughts were reeling my head . I felt so sick I wanted to throw up. But I ended up taking deep breath to try and calm my nerves. I couldn't afford to break down again . Not in front of the pink weirdo who obviously had more sangfroid than me. Which I couldn't possibly understand.

" Hey are you okay ? " I heard someone say. I lifted my head to meet Lydia's surprisingly worried eyes. But I didn't deign answer her. Instead I painstakingly hauled myself to my feet, staggering a bit . Then I went past her , decided to hurry back home.

～ ♦︎ ～

Ena

I was sitting in front of my window watching the rain fall. My thought were as grey as the weather and it didn't help that there was no one at home to help cheer me up. Lone was gone to school , Greta was home but she couldn't be of any help to my gloomy self today and certainly not when I'm trying to keep her as less worried as possible . And the Reynolds where all out too, and were only coming back in about 3hrs. So I was just all to myself which increased my loneliness.

And no need to say that I did remember about my last fit two days ago. Well what happened before , I fell into it. Yes falling would be the exact word I would describe it because at a certain point after the struggle I always feel as though my very soul fell into a strong , pulling dark void yet full of bad stuffs. Very painful and bad stuffs. And whenever I tried to visualize after the fit whatever I saw or what happened , I just had no memory of anything . What was left was always some achy sore muscles and a throbbing headache.

I sighed as I put a full mark to end my entry in my journal which is actually the notebook Lone gave me . Just then I heard the bell sound off.

Quickly getting up, I went down the stairs but upon reaching the lobby ,I met Greta who told me she would get it . So I was about to go back upstairs when she hurriedly came back , and while dragging me by my hand , brought me away from the front door.

" Hey what's wrong ? Who was there ?"

" Is there someone after you ? I mean did anyone track you down and find our house ? Again ?" Greta asked distress in her eyes.

" What ? What do you mean again?" Was all I could think of .

" Wait Greta , maybe it's Davon ?" Though why would he come back again after he clearly stated he was cross with me.

" You mean the disrespectful young lad ?"

" Um yes -"

" Well it's not him because I've seen the person from the window through the curtain while making sure I am not seen and I saw ... a girl. " she said all whispering and secretive.

"What's more is she said something weird like ' tell her her heroin is here' what do you think she meant? " She asked genuinely worried and perplexed as to why there would be a girl coming to our house which was normal since she still didn't know I had a newfound friendship.

Maybe?

I wiped my sweat clamped hands away , my heart going into tachycardia and told Greta to just send her off.

The feeling of excitement at seeing my almost friend got wiped away by the anxiety caused by my insecurities. I still wasn't ready to face the truth of what happened last time. What she witnessed.

Greta did as she was asked and went to answer the door. Besides I was kind of sure she would be gone by now since Greta took forever to deliberate wether to open the door or not. I turned on my heel and headed back into the leaving room.

I took my hidden crochet piece from underneath the high legged sofa and proceeded to work my hands to calm my nerves.

After five minutes of crocheting and Greta still not back and worry gnawing at my guts , I flew onto my feet and ran back into the lobby to find Greta standing in front of the door , being half open.

What was she still doing here? Why wasn't she done with 'her' already? I quietly tiptoed behind her and tried to peek behind her shoulder. But I was standing a little too far. I etched closer so I could hear. I tried to sign to Greta to come back but she couldn't hear me still. Then at one point she turned behind as if sensing me. She was a little surprised but whispered that 'she' seemed like a good girl and asked whether she could let her in.

I understood at that point that 'she' had convinced Greta into doing what she wanted and I could get caught red-handed sneak peeking. I casted my eyes down.

Why ? Why was she still here after all that happened , after all the horrible stuffs I might have done? I mean I'm sure the whole school must know about what happened and that poor Davon mustn't have been able to hold off the crowd. I'm sure I must be a widely spoken gossip topic by now. And the bullying might be worse now because people would actually get to see my fits for real. So why was she still after some creep?

" Shouldn't you ask me all this to my face ?" I got cut out of my thoughts and lift my eyes up to see she came inside the house .

" Did - did I say this aloud ?"

" No, but you sure looked like you were going through internal turmoil. You looked like you were thinking hard and not in the right way." I glanced at Greta who was watching this with an amused smile.

" Do you have magical powers?"

" Won't I even get a hug 🤗?" she asked with a warm smile her arms open wide.

" I-I .." before I could even think of something , she engulfed me in a warm hug. Those of the kind that only Ann was able to give me. The ones that made feel warm and welcome. But I didn't have the courage to hug her back.

Then I thought again that she was my only and first girl friend and the sheer fear of losing her already made me change my mind . When I started to let go of my walls and lean into her embrace , she said :

" Don't worry I'll be there no matter what happens ." Tears pricked my eyes , then I fiercely hugged her,

" Hey hey not so tight ! And ... hey is your nose running ? don't get me covered with snot, I'm already wet enough !" She exclaimed in mock annoyance.

Only then did I timidly release her , feeling a little appalled by my own behavior . Since when do I act like an unbridled animal ? That's what Mother would call me if she were to see this. Thinking about her brought more sour thoughts in , when suddenly Lydia cut me off my reverie .

" Come on girl , you won't surely have me standing here all day right ? Go show me your room !" Her saying this gave me back my sense. Right . It's no time to think about Mother . I need to be there for Lydia since she's been there for me . Both emotionally and physically. Talking about which I looked more closely at Lydia as she was strolling across the lobby into the salon and noticed she was drenched from head to toe .

Did this mean she'd been standing outside without an umbrella ? How crazy was that ?

" Wait Lydia we have to get you to dry up first!" I screamed after her, this was more of a pressing matter to me than trying to find out why she went outside of the raging rain without even so much of a sweater on .

But before I could go after her Greta grabbed my hand stopping me in my tracks and looked at me with tearful eyes.

" I'm so happy for you Fraulein Ena." as I was swooning from her words she added;

"But tell her that if she gets the rugs muddy, she'll clean it."

           ~♦︎~

" So tell me what have you been doing before I came ? Did you miss me ?" Lydia asked as she was sitting across from me, in my room. She was on my spinning chair playing topspins.

I just kept silent while staring at her. I was still feeling a little distraught at the fact that she accepted being my friend despite knowing who I am or really what I can turn into.

A monster ?

But I must've been thinking too deep to notice how close she had gotten to me when I blinked my eyes. I looked deeply into warm chocolate eyes that seemed to hold oceans of virgins feelings and hidden answers to all my whys.

Why would she be friends with me ? Why would she put up with me even when my close family rejected me. I mean Mother. I knew I sounded dramatic and maybe ungrateful but you can't blame for getting insecure.

She hit me on the head .

" What kind of bad stuffs are going on in your head again ? It better not be perverted thoughts !" I cocked my head to the side. What did she mean by perverted thoughts? I wasn't thinking any bad of her.

" You know I think you should go home." I finally had the courage to say.

"Are you...turning me out ? Or you're closing the doors on yourself ..." she realized in a low voice. I was looking at her but then looked down . By now I was ready to hear her say she was done with me, a depressing , boring person.

And I couldn't decide whether I really wanted her to do that so I might feel that everything is back to normal again or if I want her to stay so I could cling on the hope of a better tomorrow . Everything felt so weird and fragile right now . These new feelings of hope and normalcy as if I didn't have a tyrant Mother and I could be like all the girls my age. I closed my eyes tight to try and control the turmoils within me.

" Ena." She called , her voice a wavering whisper. I didn't trust myself to talk so I just answered in a muffled sound.

" Do you want me to stay ?"

" I don't know ..." my voice quivered no matter how much I wanted it to stay strong. Why do I always break down in front of the people I wanted to impress , the people that mattered to me? Why do I always end up a failure when I just want to be simply happy . I don't want to hesitate in letting her in but I can't help it. I would be crushed if.. if ..

I fiercely wiped at my cascading tears as I heard her stand up and felt a weigh on the bed near me. I only heard her sniff silently for some moment before she spoke up.

" Ena don't do that, please ... you know you're not the only person to open up for the first time to someone else and ... maybe it's because of who you are as a person but I don't want to give up on you either , I want to help you and I want to be there for you but you need to want my help first . I can't force myself into your life you know? And I think you need to know that you have a right to happiness too , like everyone else. Please don't give up on yourself ."

These were the most beautiful words I've ever heard . I lifted my eyes to meet her own and I was surprised to see how beautiful a person can look when they cry. That beauty was stemmed up from her heart and it was blooming radiantly on her face. Whereas when I cry , I only cry but I don't look like I did a make up for crying . I only looked ugly and snotty.

I blinked back my tears ,and deep breathed to help the overwhelming feeling of tranquility . Yes I felt tranquil around her. It felt different from when I'm around Ann.

Being with Ann felt like being at home on a cozy chair with hot chocolate in hand while watching the soothing rain pour down.

Being with Lone felt like being under the rain while feeling warm inside.

Being with Lydia felt like the delicious odor of the grass after the rain, the Petrichor, when there was a little mist and the world seemed still and sleepy , it felt tranquil.

But somehow being with Dave felt strange and frightening like storm raging and thunder clapping around you with the only shelter being hiding behind him but he himself was too dangerous to come close to.

Yet , I didn't ever want to loose these people. They were the only people capable of raising feelings that felt good in me . After all even when there's storm you know it would calm down eventually though not knowing when or how much a damage it would cause after it , still it calms down.

Whereas Mother was an ever raging storm.

"Okay. I'm not letting go." of anyone or anything of my feelings. I thought with a calm yet resolute expression as I wiped away my tears.

〜♦︎〜

" So are you considering coming back to school anytime soon ?" Lydia inquired , from the kitchen table. She was spooning more vanilla topping on her ice cream and seemed to enjoy it even with the cold rainy weather outside.

While we were talking in my room she suddenly started sneezing uncontrollably ( author-chan is 🤧 too) , making us remember that she was still clad in her drenched clothes.

So I insisted on making her take a bath and change into some pants and sweater which she had adamantly refused to wear on whatever nonsense grounds.

Right after, I gave her chest massage above her breasts with Shea butter which was efficient in preventing coughs after a cold.

She did hate that too because she found the oil was too heavy , but I couldn't help applying one of our family remedy. It was kind of instinctive, really because that was what I used to do whenever Lone got sick and Mother wasn't home.

I guessed I learned that from seeing Mother do this with her when she was a baby. Though she probably never did this to me .

" Hello ? Ena ? Airhead ? You zone out a lot you know ?"

" Huh ? Oh sorry yeah you're right ... sorry." I repeated afraid I might have done something wrong .

" Hey , don't apologize I was just being casual don't worry okay ? Besides I am still waiting for you to cook me the chicken soup 🍲 you promised ."

" Ah right it's almost ready." I said turning back to the stove to check the pot.

" So back to my first question are you coming back to school , let's say tomorrow ?" I turned around to look at her and noticed she only looked curious not accusative about something like my not going in the first place. That reassured me.

" Well I don't know. I mean I would have to go at some point or Mother would realize it and she won't be too happy about it."I started in a calculated manner . I didn't want her to know about Mother, at least not yet, because I was ashamed of her and afraid of Lydia's reaction when she meets her. I can't even imagine what would happen.

" You said Mother ? Is that what she told you to call her ?" She asked as her eyes still looked curious .

" Um No. I decided to do that on my own accord." This was when something died in me the first time she hit me.

" And can I ask why?" I took in a subtle breath. She was edging too close to home.

" Didn't you want to know whether I was going to school tomorrow or not ? Well I am going ." I said smiling a little. Keep things at bay, don't show too much.

She blinked a little as if she realized something , but kept silent. Then she smiled cheerfully and clapped her hands.

" Good ! At least I won't get bored at school anymore. Though knowing that you're 2nd in list, your geeky self probably likes it there."

" Well I might like it there because of the teachers. They're quiet entertaining. Especially Mrs. Corythin which I find is pretty kind." Kinder then Mother .

" Are you serious? She's like a red ripe tomato ready to explode anytime she just sees a student , it's like she never wanted to be a principal at all."

" Maybe her dream was to be a ballet dancer who knows ?" I said putting down her bowl of soup in front of her .

I told her about the time she came to correct our school's ballet teacher in the middle of the class about the woman not having properly taught us how to do a plié-sauté .

" How could she do that ? With her slender legs ?" She said in sarcasm of her actually really fat legs.

" I think that pink did suit her I mean the pink shoe she wore when doing the demonstration . After all anyone can do anything no matter the shape of their body or their corpulence ." I said in empathy about Mrs . Corythin who was a short person and looking like she was a little overweight . Lydia burst out laughing .

" Okay okay right , you're right but I just can't get serious when it comes to Mrs. Corythin, after all she doesn't stop at anything to make fun of my hair, or should I say ridicule me ? So really it's only fair for me to laugh at her when she mocks me or when someone talks about her in a certain way. " Then we went silent for a moment.

" Talking about pink I do remember someone who's got a rabbit with a pink bow . Do you think it's his favorite color by any chance ?" She asked mirth shining in her eyes .

" Who the boy or the rabbit ?" I said thinking she was talking about Dave and his rabbit.

" No the pig , of course I meant the boy ! Do you think Dave's actually into girlie stuffs ?" She asked but I was not sure what she was hinting at .

" Maybe , I mean I don't know if guys should like pink , but why not ?" I said shrugging.

" Well let me tell you something , I am sure this guy is a softie at heart even if he doesn't let it show . And you know what ? I am now dead set on finding out if my assumptions are true !" She exclaimed as she ate the last spoonful of her soup.

" Then good luck to you . I would help you but I don't know very well how to act around guys ."

" Don't be silly girl of course you can help ! And you don't know how to do these things you just do them , besides this guy owes me a pizzas for having ruined my chances at wining my lunch time broadcast prize."

" Oh you took part in that ? I've always wanted to try my luck but I was afraid I would make a fool of myself in front of the mic when you have to answer." Mother would always tell me not to get noticed or else it might come out on her name.

" Hmm, now that I am your lifestyle manager I will push you into doing this tomorrow when they are airing , I am sure you'll have fun."

" Well I'm not sure about that ." I felt like my life was in danger right now. I didn't know what kind of situation Lydia was going to put me in so I didn't want to do it anymore.

" Oh come on you'll be fine ! I would be right nearby and I hope you're not afraid to mix in with us commoners." I smiled slightly.

" I'm home !" I jerked up from my seat and threw a glance at the watch on my wrist . Twelve. Lone's home already? Dear, she came too early. What should I do? I'm not ready for them to meet yet-

" Ena, I'm hungry what's there to- hey , who are you ?" Lone stopped mid-track from opening the fridge after she barged into the kitchen , before I was even able to move. I looked at Lydia who was looking quiet comfortable , smiling at Lone and waving at her .

Lone tried to blink back her look of surprise and rapidly gaining control of herself , I saw her visibly put on her mask of coldness she always had when apprehending a new situation. She's even been like that with Ann the first time we met her.

I saw her clench her fist and I suddenly remembered what she said about getting back at my friends if anyone of them hurt me. She must have found it unusual that I would have anyone home and should just be assuming bad things right now.

" Wait Lone before you do anything-"

" Who are you ?" She asked again in her most threatening manner but Lydia seemed unfazed , I would almost say that she looked understanding of Lone's feelings. She got up and went around the table to shake Lone's hand warmly , which took her aback . But she quickly recovered from that.

" I'm your sister's official new best friend if you must know. I'm Lydia , it's super nice to meet you ." Lydia said with her signature radiant smile.

~♦︎~

" So you're the crazy person who accepted to befriend my sister ?" Lone turned to look at me and seize reaction. She was not very good at riling me up. I just shrugged in response. Lydia chuckled for some reasons looking amused by my lack of reaction.

" Not the only person , but yeah , that's me !"

We were now sitting in my room after Lone and Lydia's, to say the least clashing encounter . After Lone's initial surprise and Lydia's straight-forwarded nature interacted , they went along quiet fine much to my dismay.

" Are you sure you thought long and hard about this and that you won't regret your decision or that you can handle the situation which could get to the worst ?" Lone questioned like a doctor would his patient.

" Hey, are we doing a marriage agreement or what ? Of course I made up my mind !"

Lone still didn't seem relaxed by Lydia's carefree demeanor and the more Lone looked intimidating the more joyful Lydia got. I would think she would be terrorized by now.

" I'm sorry , miss , to say this upfront but I don't like you. And frankly I don't trust you with my sister either. So what you gonna do?" Lydia surprisingly turned serious at this and narrowed her eyes at Lone.

"I'm sticking with her." Lone raised an eyebrow. Then she suddenly sighed and rolled her eyes.

"Fine you do what you want but just know I have my eyes on you. And I'm still not okay with everything." she swiftly got up and left us alone. Lydia and I looked at each other for a second. Then she burst out laughing while I smiled at her.

" Man I was worried back there. She's genuinely scary. "

" Don't worry she's not actually like that. "

" I know it was a façade. She was just looking out for you and this is a good thing. I guess we all wear masques at different moments, in front of different people. Some more often then others that's all. " She said somehow more to herself. I silently agreed.

I slowly shifted my gaze to the softly pouring rain, then closed my eyes willing to send its way my thoughts and feelings, hoping it would wash away from my memory all that stings.

Author's note:

Hiii! Long time no chapter guys! Sorry about that 😛 I've been quiet busy and lazy these days . So here it finally is !

This is the one chapter I've been a lot frustrated with because I couldn't seem to find a way to end it and believe me guys I intended on writing more ... but lucky for you I got tired in the end , so I hope you like it ! Happy reading 😊

Actually I'm kind of punishing myself for writing so long because I will need to edit.

Le jasmin est une fleur que danse la rosée

Arielna ♦︎