A bit of Guilt

After that happened to me and Rozen, I didn't let myself get close to him anymore. Even literally get close.

"Coreen, Noah has practice at home. Do you want to visit?" Reina asked me.

I smiled when I heard Noah's name, but that smile gradually faded. Coz I know, the evil Elizalde is there.

"Ah, I can't. My family and I will go out." I said.

What a waste of that opportunity, but I can't bear to see that Rozen beast again! My blood will just boil and my vision might go dark, and I might punch his cracked lips again.

In speaking of family, it's true that we will go out. My family and I are close. That's why I'm the youngest. Kuya Luke and Ate Julie both have families. My parents got married early so that's why when they were young, the eldest, Kuya Luke, was already old, followed by Ate Julie. I was the youngest.

Our family loves bonding so today we are here at a garden restaurant. Country Side. There is a butterfly garden outside and there are stone paths. Daddy and mommy like to experiment. They also like to visit other countries, taste different foods and so on.

I had just sat down on the wooden chair of the Country Side when a familiar man caught my eye.

"SHIT!"

"Watch your mouth, Coreen!" Kuya Luke said to me.

I just rolled my eyes at him and looked at the man again. ROZEN GAISER ELIZALDE IN THIS PLACE? WHY IN THE EFFING WORLD?

I looked again at the animal Rozen. After 2 years we got closer again by at least 5 meters!

He innocently looked up at the intricate designs of the restaurant's ceiling. I shake my head and rolled my eyes again into the air.

"What's wrong with you, Coreen, You look upset." Ate Julie asked while feeding her son.

"Nothing,ate...Just..."

I didn't touch my food anymore. I let go of my spoon and stood up.

"I'm just going to the comfort room." I told them.

Mommy nodded so I went straight to Rozen. He even jumped when he saw me, especially since I grabbed his collar.

"You asshole, what are you doing here?" I whispered.

"Easy, Coreen... Easy..." He laughed. "You scared the shit out of me." He glanced at our table. "You're here?"

I let go of his t-shirt. I might catch some virus. I feel like I'm touching germs.

"You're asking why I'm here? You immediately look at our table like you knew I was there..."

"I see you're from there so I know you're here." He frowned and laughed.

WHAT AN EXCUSE?

"You idiot! Don't show me your face again! I hate you!" I whispered.

"Why? I didn't cheat on you, Coreen! I LOVE YOU!" He glanced at the girls we were both intrigued by.

Normally, there are no people here on the Country Side. If there is, it's only selective so there's privacy. But now, it seems to have increased. I turned around and saw that almost all of them were girls my age.

"What? Stop annoying me Elizalde!" I brought my face closer to him.

It's embarrassing! Maybe they even thought that my boyfriend and I were fighting. Yuck!

He intertwined his fingers and leaned closer to my face.

"Go ahead, stop me, I like it more every time you stop me." He said with a grin.

My heart was pounding at his smile. This is dangerous. So. Dangerous

"Really? After two years that's what you're going to reveal to me? If you really like me holding you back, why are you coming to me again now-" I was stunned when I realized my tone and the words I used.

His face brightened and he grinned even more.

"What was that, Coreen? What did you say?" He shook his head with a big grin.

I backed away but he immediately grabbed my clenched hand.

"Pardon, Coreen?" He asked with a grin.

"You look like a girl! You are so good at putting meaning-"

"COREEN? Rozen is here but you didn't tell us?"

I immediately turned to Ate Julie who was talking behind me. When I saw her, I found her mouth hanging open and her eyes looking directly at Rozen and I's hand. I immediately removed his hand and hid my hand behind my back.

"Ate, he's meeting someone else here-".

Ate Julie was smiling and raising her eyebrows at me. DAMN! Ate might think that Rozen and I have something!

"Is he really? Or maybe you're just jealous?" In Ate's tone, I immediately realized what was on her mind.

"No!" I immediately said.

Rozen stood up so we both looked at him.

"I'm just going to leave. Sorry, I think I disturbed your family bonding-"

"Are you waiting for someone, Rozen?" Ate asked.

"None. I was just going to have lunch." He said.

LUNCH!? AT AN ELITE RESTAURANT!?? Meanwhile, at ours, it's only a special family day if we can go to something like this. If I'm going to have lunch by myself, I'll go to Jollibee!

" Oh well, just come with us! We just started too."

I rolled my eyes and returned to our table first. I sat down lazily, which is why mommy and daddy wondered what was wrong. But before they could ask me, Rozen arrived at our table.

"Mom, Rozen is here." Ate said.

My family and the Elizaldes know each other. Of course, during the time Reina and I were in the same class, I was able to introduce her to my parents, even her siblings.

"Rozen, hijo, sit here." Mommy said while pointing to the empty seat next to me.

Rozen is still acting shy of my mommy.

"Do not be shy. You know, whenever Coreen is at your house, you take care of her and she's not shy." Mommy laughed.

Fvck! Does mommy really have to say that?

"It's nothing Tita. I'm happy every time Coreen comes to our house. She's fun." Rozen said.

I closed my eyes. I could almost feel my whole system shake at what he said.

"It's good that's she's not a headache at your house" Dad chuckled.

"Yeah absolutely not Dad, Noah will dislike her even more!" Kuya Luke said with a laugh.

"KUYA!" I shouted and glanced at Rozen.

I saw him staring at his food. It's as if he doesn't want to follow what Kuya said... He glanced at me and grinned again.

Rozen didn't answer. I was immediately nervous. I dont know why.

I just shook my head and continued eating. Rozen also ate with us. He was still glancing at me while he and daddy were talking.

"Mom.Dad, I'll just get some air outside"

My throat is getting dry because I can't understand what they are talking about the business that Kuya will build.

"Oh, Coreen, take Rozen with you-" Ate said.

I looked at Rozen and saw him hid a smile.

"No. He can understand what Kuya and Dad are talking about because it's business." I said.

Rozen stood up and looked at me.

"I'm going to get some air too. I also want to understand something other than business, eh." He chuckled while looking at Daddy. "Excuse us, please."

My jaw dropped at what he said and I watched daddy's furrowed brow. I don't know if he realized something from what Rozen said or he didn't understand anything, for me all his intentions are revealed in what he said and I hate it.

"Sure, sure... There's a butterfly garden out there." Daddy nodded to Rozen.

"Thank you Tito." He said honestly and turned to me. "Let's go?"

I did nothing but take him outside. After we went out, I let him go for a walk. As much as possible, we should not talk because I might just get rid of him right away.

"It's beautiful..." I almost had a mini heart attack when he suddenly appeared by my side.

I was looking at an orange butterfly on a flower.

"Don't talk to me, Rozen. We're not friends."

He laughed, "Then what are we?"

I turned to him. I think the butterfly was shocked and flew away.

"Nothing. You're a stranger to me..."

His grin grew bigger. "Not enemies?" His eyebrows rose.

"God, I hate your guts."

"I love your guts." He said

I'm holding back from insulting him again. I pressed my lips tightly together.

You're in college now, are you still into Noah? Two years, Coreen, don't you still feel regret? I gave you two long years." He said.

I just want to laugh out loud. I think I'm going crazy with what he's saying.

It's only Noah and still Noah. Nothing will change even tomorrow or the day after, next year or next decade. There is nothing else." I said.

I saw that his gaze softened a bit.

"Don't look at me like that. That's what you get!" I looked away.

"This is what I get for loving you too much?"

I want to burst out laughing again.

"Loving me too much in spite of your whores?"

His gaze darkened at me.

"You wanted the challenge, you said I was boring, what do you want me to be? Be a snob like Noah? Imitate Noah?"

I shook my head, "You don't need to do that." I was sad to hear that from him. "Rozen, I want Noah. Even if you get plastic surgery and look like Noah, I will never like you. This is going to be... Noah... all the way."

I heard his heavy breathing. He never spoke again. And me... I felt... yes... guilty... a bit.