Prologue

It's a long road from my office to the Royal Oak pub, especially when you are exhausted from all those shit errands thrown at you by the shitty boss. It's even harder and highly irritating when it was on a day like Saturday.

Every week or so I get together with a small group of friends. We would meet in a local bar, share a few drinks, and share our sorrows, our frustration towards our life.

Saturday is special, it's the only day I looked forward to. Even though I felt tired enough to sleep like a log I ain't going to let down my brothers.

Even though I was half an hour behind, I was left with little choice other than to floor it. Considering life in general, things are not looking great for me either, a month ago my 2 years old lover broke up with me for a rich man.

I was beginning to realize that woman honestly doesn't give a flying fuck about your feelings nowadays, all they care about now is money and the good ol' party life. Foolishly I assumed when I met her, I had gotten my happily ever after.

That was some bullshit thinking from my side right there, if she wasn't prepared to make the effort, then I could no longer continually exhaust myself with endless endeavors to keep the spark alive.

Fed up after months of promises and lies with no change in our circumstances, I finally decided to end it all. The little hoe can go screw with anyone for all I care, it was a blessing that we are not married.

That shit would have hurt more, just imagine raising a kid not yours, or your wife jumping on some rich old man's soggy dick behind your back.

Like seven is not enough and the bitch wanna jump on 3-inch wet spaghetti, I am not even angry, I pity the fate of those men dancing under her pretty little thumbs.

'BANG!'

The sound came without any warning. The sharp loud bang of a handgun firing a single shot at close quarters.

The sudden shock of it shattered my peace of mind, I looked in the rearview mirror and there was a car tailing me.

I could feel the sweat break out on my forehead, my heart start to hammer hard in my chest. Throat felt unnaturally constricted.

New York might've been the city that never sleeps, but the traffic was lighter at night than during the day if only marginally so and I had no trouble weaving back and forth between lanes.

I almost shat my pants when another loud bang tore through the calm night. 'What the fuck!' The panic felt like a bucket of ice-cold water thrown over me.

The crime rates in the city have increased exponentially, I heard several rumors about an unknown assailant robbing people at random but I never expected that I will be the next victim. I half-expected that maybe stopping the car and complying with those son of a bitches would be a good idea, I guess normally they would not harm me if I gave everything on me, but I don't think that would be a good idea. Putting your trust in some unknown people, a criminal on top of that would be the most idiotic thing one can do.

I ain't taking chances!

I whipped around the corner, the instant the car rounded the corner its headlights illuminated the 18 wheeler truck barreling toward me.

'This got to be the most Hollywood thing anyone can ask for, right at this moment my situation is the same correlative shit you would expect from a Hollywood movie chasing scene.'

The truck swerved violently, tires smoked as the driver braked hard while he struggled to control the heavy, speeding vehicle.

And right at this moment, the truck's trailer tore free, flipping tumbling through the road in my way.

It was late, way too late to get out of the situation. 'Fuck my life!' I had no intention to die this early, I could hear the fear in my own voice but I still sounded a lot calmer than I felt, maybe I knew I had no chance to come out of this alive. Even if by some miracle I do survive the crash, I did not want to die in agony on a hospital bed, with tubes inserted into my body.

'CRAAAAASH'

The myriad of airbags inflated to my side and in front of me, and then quickly deflated. My vision of everything around me turned into a blur of bright red. The blur of light then fades away as my consciousness slowly slips from my grasp, replaced by complete darkness.

{{MIKI HYODOU POV}}

The day had finally come. My heart pounded with exhilaration as my husband and I navigated the streets to the hospital. Tears welled within my eyes as I lowered my head to keep them from spilling out, after 12 grueling months today my son had woken from his coma.

A year ago he was in a major car accident and suffered a head injury. He was then medicated in the hospital to keep him in a coma-like state.

Ensuring minimal levels of stimulation through medication so that his brain could quietly focus on physical repair.

But much to our dismay after the completion of the medically induced coma procedure, he never woke up from his coma. Upon several tests, the doctors revealed that the accident damaged his cerebral cortex, and there is a high chance that he might lose his life.

That thought alone made me lose my hope, but it seems god has listened to our prayers. My son continued to fight for his life and eventually, signs of recovery resurfaced on several tests done by the doctor.

My husband pulled me toward him and held me tight, softly kissing the top of my head. I kept my eyes tightly shut, keeping myself from crying. I just sat like that for a while until my husband pulled into the parking area of the hospital.

We rush through the halls to room 203, our son's room, walking past the other comatose patients. Issei's bed was empty. We whirled around, hoping to spot a nurse. A doctor with dark circles under his eyes was already there, waiting for us.

'Where's my son?' I blurted.

'Mrs. Hyodou,' he said evenly. 'Your son has been moved to another ward. I've taken over his care. I'm Doctor Yato.'

'I don't understand. We're here to pick him up.'

'I'm afraid that won't be possible just yet. Walk with me,' Doctor Yato gestured. My husband put an arm on my shoulder and gave a comforting smile.

We walked in silence to Ward 10. Psychiatry. My husband grabbed the doctor by the arm. 'Tell me why my son is in here.' His voice edged with desperation. That signboard is enough to inflict a whole new set of bad assumptions.

Those tried eyes took us in. 'Your son has retrograde amnesia.' He dropped the worst bomb there is, angry tears stinging my eyes. Was this the doctor's idea of a cruel joke?

'A part of his brain affecting memory was damaged in the accident. He doesn't remember anything past the second year of high school.' Both of us released a sigh of relief, to be honest, the moment I heard amnesia I was prepared for the worst, but it seems god is looking out for my son.

'I barged past the Doctor, through the swing door, I charged into his room. 'Son!' I breathed at the sight of him, joy rushing through me. He looks frail, has sunken eyes, little to no muscle mass, he looks so much different than before. All his hair had lost its pigmentation due to the trauma, his once brown spiky hair had turned into dirty grey hair.

It happened a week after his accident, within a few days all his hair has turned grey. Marie Antoinette syndrome, that is what doctors called it, this syndrome is caused by high levels of emotional stress, which, in turn, causes less pigmentation of the hair.

'Oh, Issei,' I murmured, climbing onto the bed, nuzzling him. 'You're back.' I wrapped him in a hug but when I met his eyes, all I saw was his bewilderment before a look of recognition crossed his face.

'Mom?'

[POV END]

My mind froze, and then I was pierced to the heart with guilt. I managed to survive the crash but at what cost? Trapped in a body that's not mine, a mother that is not mine is in tears before me, a man that is not my father is looking at my way with concern and dismay, it would have been better if I had lost my memories but it wasn't the case.

Not only I had retained my old life memories, but Issei also left me with a feeling of helplessness and shock.

It was not the boy's usual memories that got to my head, it was the memories after the accident. Issei, he was conscious the whole time, trapped in his own body like a bird in a cage, unable to even reach out to his weeping mother, unable to console her, every day was living hell for him, every day the boy would mutter 'I want to die. I want to die. You've got to help me; you have to help me. I can't do it myself' those words were hurt for me.

For the first time in my life, my heart was so lousy. I felt very guilty, going through that for more than a year and then dying, only for a stranger to take over his body... it's not fair.

I thought I had the worst luck, a miserable life. What an idiot I was! There are countless others who have suffered a fate far worse than mine.

"Son." The rough hand on my shoulder made me think of the hands of an exhausted parent. It was that warm and gentle.

"It's gonna be okay, son… I promise." Issei's father's voice is thick with emotion as he held me. All I could do is give a weak nod.

It was a strange feeling, even though they are just strangers to me I couldn't get rid of the feelings left by Issei. Their sorrow and confusion became my burden. 17 years' worth of memories filled with ups and downs can not be discarded whenever you wanted. Even when I should be happy that I get to live, doubt clouded my mind, doubt about my own existence, both sets of memories making me question my own sanity, who am I? Issei Hyodou or Alex Smith? One is from Japan and the other from America, this doesn't make any fucking sense.

Am I perhaps... reincarnated? Did my old life memories finally resurface due to the accident? I did not know how it was possible not to lose your mind every time feeling guilt or shame.

The only thing I knew was it was not for me. I knew that I could not carry this burden if I don't let go of my past.

"Is God playing a bad joke with me?" I couldn't help but think while my head was buried in Issei's mother's shoulder.