Chapter 146: But Shizun, Her Wanting to Marry Really Has Nothing to Do With Me!

Since that day, an extraordinary sight had appeared in Mengpo Hall.

At "Yuheng Elder's Special Table" where no idol soul ever dared to disturb now had a Mo Weiyu.

The disciples walking past could always see Mo Ran and Chu Wanning eating together, the two sitting there face to face, and Mo Ran would always pick from some dish and put pieces in his shizun's bowl.

"Shh, look, Mo-shixiong passed the elder a piece of brisket again. Whoa,

such a big chunk, I bet Yuheng Elder won't eat it."   There was a group of disciples nearby whispering among themselves,

making bets with suppressed voices.

"I bet he won't eat it too, Yuheng Elder doesn't seem like he enjoys eating beef."   "Then I'll bet he does. After all, he accepted those pigeon eggs from before." The group of them spied and snuck looks while holding their breaths, and saw Chu Wanning furrowing his brows as he poked at that piece of beef with the tips of his chopsticks, then said something to Mo Ran with a dark look.   They were a little too far away, they couldn't hear clearly what was said, but it seemed Mo Ran also said something, and Chu Wanning's face was pulled even longer.

Disciples A B C who bet Chu Wanning wouldn't eat instantly lit up, but they were too focused on watching that the spoons full of soup in their hands were almost sent to their nostrils.

"Look look look, the elder is rejecting it, he's refusing to eat it!" "Don't jab me with your elbow, lower your voice. If Yuheng Elder hears you're all placing bets on him, he'll skin you all alive!" "Heh heh heh, I don't care, these twenty silver leaves are mine~"

That disciple said as he reached for the stack of silver leaves placed for the betting on the table, but before his hand could touch it he heard the others beside him whisper in a rush, "Hold on, the bet hasn't been called yet, the elder is moving his chopsticks again!" 'Huh?" He looked over again, and sure enough, Chu Wanning picked up that piece of beef brisket, and this group of gamblers watched on anxiously, feeling as if their own hearts were being dangled by that pair of white jade chopsticks too,

stuck and in pain from the pinching.

"He's gonna eat it he's gonna eat it he's gonna eat it… twenty silver leaves twenty silver leaves twenty silver leaves…" The disciple who bet Chu Wanning would eat that beef brisket chanted nonstop, nervously shaking his leg, but suddenly, his eyes dimmed, and it was as if his whole person was frozen. "Ah!!" Yuheng Elder actually threw the beef he already picked up back into Mo Ran's bowl without listening to the protests!

"..." "Hahahaha, close, so close!" "I knew the elder definitely wouldn't eat it, come, all the leaves belong to me now." The disciple who lost the bet sighed, instantly withering as he smacked his head down against the table, tilting his head all choked up and speechless,

looking in Chu Wanning's direction with an empty daze.

Elder, I have wronged. I shouldn't have used you as a wager, sir. I've lost so hard that I don't even have the money to buy this month's spiritual stones anymore!

Just as he was pitying himself, all of a sudden he saw Mo Ran shift his arms and elbows, his giant build of a body leaning slightly forward, and said more things to Chu Wanning. Then, this disciple who lost so horrifically witnessed with his own eyes that their Mo-shixiong had once again picked up the beef brisket,

mixed with some veggies this time, and brought it to Chu Wanning's lips once more.

...

???

This disciple was stunned——Did Mo-shixiong plan on feeding the elder directly?!

Obviously Chu Wanning was extremely uncomfortable with this as well, and he flat out knocked Mo Ran's chopsticks away with his own chopsticks, his expression grave as he uttered three words.

Those lips were too easy to read:

Put it down!

But Mo Ran simply smiled as he put down the chopsticks-ful of veggies and beef, but it wasn't into his own bowl but in shizun's bowl. Chu Wanning had no choice and he heaved a sigh, then under the unnoticed watch of over a dozen eyes, he silently ate up those veggies and meat.

"..."

The gamblers at this table were already dumbfounded watching this play out.

The disciples who thought it was a sure win before were all eyes-wide and tongue-tied, the silver leaves in their hands slipping out from their grips.

And it was instead that chum who had his head down all shriveled up who instantly jumped up, completely revived with his eyes shimmering bright. He said enthusiastically, "Hahaha, what a turn around! How the tables have turned!

Shige, shidi, sorry but those leaves still belong to me, hahahaha, I'm rich I'm rich, let's be again tomorrow, haha, let's do this again tomorrow!" At the other end, the two master and disciple didn't notice any of this at all,

and Mo Ran had his chopsticks raised, slowly eating the rice in his bowl as he watched Chu Wanning eat the beef brisket with his head down.

It was a bit warm inside Mengpo Hall, the sleeve of Mo Ran's left arm was rolled all the way to his elbow, revealing a stretch of long, slender, and sturdy arm, its muscles stirring, rippling beneath the honey-coloured skin. He ladled a bowl of soup, and while Chu Wanning wasn't paying attention, he added two several extra pieces of ribs, and with the meat laid at the bottom of the soup,

they weren't easily noticeable.

"Shizun, why don't you finish the soup? It's good for warding off the cold." "Plain soup?" Mo Ran blinked innocently, "I think so? I didn't pay attention when I got it, I forgot." Chu Wanning took a look at the surface of the soup, and there floated the crisp green leaves of baby bok choys looking mighty delicious, so he didn't decline and took the bowl, eating a spoonful.

"Is it good?" "Not bad." "Then don't waste it, okay?" Mo Ran smiled, "Eat up." Chu Wanning gave him a flat look, "You have the audacity to talk about me?

Don't pick up so many dishes for your meals in the future, making me help you share in the responsibility when you can't finish it all yourself." "Haha, okay, then next time I won't take so much."  Mo Ran waited until Chu Wanning nodded before he picked up his own soup bowl. That soup is a bit too hot so he blew at the surface, and the dispersing steam softened the hardened lines of his face.

Hot soup was a magical kind of food; it was clearly only a bowl of boiled water with some meat, vegetables, and seasoning added, yet it could warm a person from the pit of their stomach to the depths of their heart. And to eat the same soup with the one you loved, that feeling of fulfillment, was like having thrown a small stone into a lake, and the ripples spread out wave after wave,

shimmering with light.

Within this hard-earned peace of this life, Mo Ran unconsciously let out a soft sigh.

Turns out, the leisurely years, when having drunken, was but the taste of a bowl of soup.

For this bowl of soup, he once gritted his teeth and sucked blood, killed unfeelingly, and for the same bowl of soup, now, his remorse was bone-deep and vehemently anguishing.

He downed the soup held in his hands really fast.

Whether it be the uneasiness in his heart, or the uncertainty towards the future, or his remorse and guilt, he didn't want to think too much about any of it.

He genuinely had too little of the good life, so little to the point where he needed to fight and snatch for it day and night without rest. It wasn't that he didn't want to take his time to savour it, take it easy; he was actually really envious of people like Xue Meng who, because he was born affluent and noble, that he would forever be unruffled.

Mo Ran couldn't ever be at ease; the things he possessed were often so little that he was forever baring his teeth to fight, snatching things and scared his things would be snatched away, so he had no choice but to immediately wolf down and devour his everything. In this respect, he had practically kept the most primal of beastly instincts, feeling as though he could only feel safe when the food was eaten and hidden away in his stomach. That was what it meant to truly own something, and no one would be able to steal it away.

When he was little, he fought the other kids for food.

In the previous life, he fought the rest of the xianjun's for the world.

But in this life, he only wanted to fight for this bowl of soup.

He was aware he had done a great many evil deeds, and was afraid there would come a day when fate would be clearing his account. Thus, he only wanted to seize that pitiful small bit of happiness he owned and dash madly away, leaving fate far, far behind him.

Just like all those who had committed grave sins and saw the errors of their ways, hoping to start all over, while Mo Ran always smiled, he was never at ease deep down. He knew that "the good will be rewarded with good, and evil with evil" was no lie. Whenever excitement died down, he always felt the peace before him was really fake, like a mirage, an illusion, and in the end he would have to wake, and return to that empty Wushan Palace that is without a living soul, return to the dungeon.

So, he wanted to eat a few more bites of soup before it turned cold.

Because then, if one day his evil deeds did catch up to him and he was cast aside by the world, judged by fate, and shoved once more down into the frozen,

deep abyss, he could still go on by his lonesome on this hot breath alone.

"What's on your mind?" Chu Wanning asked him.

"Ah." Mo Ran snapped out of it and responded softly, then he smiled after,

"It's nothing. I always space out when I'm full." Chu Wanning glanced at his empty bowl, "All done?" "En." "You seem to really like today's ribs soup?" "Haha, yea."   Chu Wanning took his bowl and said, "Then I'll go get you some more." He quickly went off and returned, and sure enough he brought with him a giant bowl of meat soup filled the brim. After putting down the bowl, Chu Wanning pinched the lobes of his own ears with his fingers, warming his ears and lowering the temperature of his fingers at the same time.

He sat down once more, "Eat up." "Take your time," Chu Wanning said, "There's more if it's not enough, no one is fighting you for it." Mo Ran was moved by these simple words. He cradled the bowl, his thick,

black curtain of his eyes dropped back down, and he responded with a smile that carried a slight nasal tone, "Okay." Chu Wanning didn't know this, but in that instant, it took Mo Ran everything he had in this life not to have shed tears while holding that full bowl of soup, listening to that "There's more if it's not enough, no one is fighting you."

Chu Wanning had left for five years; he was tormented with self-blame for five years.

Then five years later, his shizun told him: Take your time.

Mo Ran's heart was suddenly in a lot, a lot of pain. The closer he became with Chu Wanning, the sadder he felt. There were in fact many things that if you didn't pay attention, you wouldn't notice the affection behind them. And now, he paid proper attention, and noticed just how tolerant, how warm and kind, how good Chu Wanning was in treating him.

He had actually wrecked such a person in his previous life.

What good was he in this life that he'd be able to stay by his side for always?

His heart was quivering, painfully struggling; on the one hand, he thought he should stay far, far away from Chu wanning, thinking where did he get the face to face Chu Wanning and smile, to be good to Chu Wanning? Absolutely shameless!

But, on the other hand, he was constantly yearning, every second of everyday——Was this it? Could this be it? Their lives were still very long, could he redeem for every sin he had committed bit by bit, please?

—— I return from the mountain of corpses replete with sin.

With these hands covered in the blood of my previous life, I hold up this hot and mellow soup of this life.

I am willing to kneel for the rest of my life, return my soul to purgatory after death, only for the hope that you… are still willing to take the cup and give it a taste.

"Shizun." Since who knew when, Xue Meng had come.

Mo Ran came back to his senses. In truth, ever since Chu Wanning died, he had spent almost everyday and every night in this self-blame and unease, and after having soaked in this kind of feelings for too long, his entire person appeared rather weighed down. To others, this wasn't a good thing, so he had been trying to adjust his emotions, and things had only gotten slightly better in the past year.

But occasionally, there was still a thing or two in life that'd stirr him up; he would still sink into a quandary or self-hate because of a word of an event.

When he lifted his head and looked at Xue Meng, the glumness on his face was yet to disappear, and it gave Xue Meng a fright.

"Jeebus, what're you doing you mongrel, looking at me with those eyes? Do I owe you money or something?" Mo Ran knew that his emotions were let loose just now and wasn't able to reign them in for the moment, so he gave a small, forced smile, "Stomach's a little too full. You've got something with shizun? You two go ahead and talk then,

I'll go out for some fresh air." "Ah no, don't go, sit down. This concerns to you too." "Concerns me? What is it?" Xue Meng gave a mystifying look, "Don't feel too down when I tell you…" "Alright Xue Meng, just say it." Chu Wanning said.

"Ah-ah." Xue Meng had wanted to keep things in suspense at first, but when he heard shizun's order he immediately started, "It's like this. I've just received an invitation. Song Qiutong is getting married."

Mo Ran's expression drastically changed, blood instantly draining from his face.

But this wasn't caused by Song Qiutong, but by Xue Meng——In this life, Mo Ran was very well aware just what sort of character Song Qiutong was, which was why he detoured around her whenever he could. He and she were clearer than the clearest water, and had nothing to do with each other.

But Xue Meng…

Why did Xue Meng think that he would feel down if Song Qiutong was to marry?

Mo Ran's heart lurched all the way to his throat, and it only took an instant for his mind to think of that fake Gouchen who kept causing evil, the one who never floated to the surface of the water, that deeply hidden hand behind the scenes.

That person could very possibly have been reborn too, and if that was the case, then he knew perfectly well of Mo Ran's past, and knew of Mo Ran's past sins like the back of his hand!

With a blanched face, Mo Ran forced himself to calm, and only stared at Xue Meng with composure, "And how does that concern me?"   "Don't you know yourself?" Xue Meng looked a little perplexed, "The Rufeng Sect delivered the wedding invitation today, and that Miss Song also went out of her way to send you a letter. If you don't know each other, why would she write you a letter? Mo Ran, it's not my place to say anything, but when did you get mixed up with her?" "..." Mo Ran's emotions were raging, hard to restrain, and it felt as if there were thorns on his back. It was a good moment before he replied, "Letter to me?

Could she have mistaken…" "Nope." Xue Meng pulled out an envelope from his robes as he spoke, and slapped it onto the table in front of Mo Ran. "Written with To Mo-xianjun From Qiutong in black and white, there's no mistake." Mo Ran glanced at that envelope, his heart pounding like the drums, and countless thoughts had flashed through his mind.

This was indeed Song Qiutong's writing, but why would she write him a letter before her grand wedding when in this life, they had only met by chance?

Xue Meng crossed his arms, looking quite upset, "Are you going to open this when you go back, or open it here and we all look at it together?" "..." Mo Ran tilted his head, and saw Chu Wanning was also looking at him, his straight, sharp brows slightly furrowed.

"You opening it?" Xue Meng was unbearably angry, he frowned heavily upon men and women messing around, so he was acting somewhat aggressive.

If things really were as he suspected, then he wouldn't be able to avoid it no matter what…

Mo Ran felt unsteady, his head swimming, even the fingers that reached out were cold. He didn't say anything as he silently took the letter and opened it.

Author's Notes:

Mo Ran: Shizun, have some soup.

Mo Ran: Shizun, eat some meat.

Mo Ran: Shizun, eat some fish.

Mo Ran: Shizun, have some dessert.

Mo Ran: Shizun, have some wine.

Fourth Ghost King: What's the difference between the protagonist and the supporting cast? It's that I'll get fat if I eat, but he won't get fat no matter how much he eats!

Mo Ran: That's not it. You're fat because you're an orange cat, that has nothing to do with being a protagonist or the supporting cast.

Xue Meng: Besides, Fourth Fatty, you're not the supporting cast, you're only an extra O(∩_∩)O