Mia

I look around and see everyone eyeing Alex.  Alex looks completely pissed off right now.  He throws his cup on the ground aggressively and storms off toward the kitchen.  I look over at Sara and Bryson who look just as shocked as I am.  Lucas and Tate exchange glances and shrug. 

    "Don't worry about him.  He'll get over it, he's always like this when he's drunk," Tate broke the silence.  

    "I'll go talk to Alex," Bryson lets go of Sara's hand and stands up.  "Just to make sure he doesn't do anything stupid."  I nod in return. 

    "I'm going to step outside and get some air."  I don't wait for anyone to reply.  I go the opposite direction as Bryson and Alex and step out on the front porch.  Surprisingly, here were only a few other people out.  I take a seat on the very first step and pull out my cell phone.  I scan through Facebook, trying to clear my thoughts.  I'm not even for sure what happened back there.  Alex has never acted that way towards me.  

    Cigarette smoke fills my nostrils, making them burn.  I can't stand the smell of them.  I wrinkle my nose and look up from my phone.  I look on the other side of the porch and see Josh sitting on the bench, cigarette in hand.  He takes a long drag and flicks the ashes.  I don't think he has noticed me yet.  If he has, he hasn't acknowledged it.  I need to thank him for defending me in there.  I stand up and as I do, our eyes meet once again.  The way he looks at me… 

    "Thank-you," I say, taking a seat beside him.  He nods and looks down.  I wait for him to say something, but words never come.  We sit in silence for what seems like forever.  I look at him from the corner of my eye, hoping he doesn't notice.  He is so hard to read.  I listen to the sounds of him inhale and exhale, puffs of smoke disappearing into the night sky.  I'm not sure if I should go back in with Sara or stay out.  Something is telling me to stay and see what this guy is all about.  I am normally not one to be shy or timid, I don't know what is wrong with me.  

    "You smoke?"  My ears perk up at the sound of his voice.  I shake my head no. 

 Alex's words play back in my head.

  I didn't realize you were that serious about her.  I thought it was just a joke like all the others.

What did he mean by that?  I want to ask him but don't know how to ask it without being invasive.  That probably isn't the best conversation starter.  Something feels right about being out here with him.  I can feel my heart beating fast in my chest.  

"How do you know Alex?"  I ask, surprising myself with my own voice. 

"We go way back.  I grew up with him," he replies, dryly.  "How do you know him?"  

"Bryson introduced us."  I look over at him once again, this time not trying to hide it.  He flicks his cigarette on the ground and stomps on it.  

"Have you hooked up with Alex before?" The question startles me.   Did he just really ask me that?  What kind of question is that?  If he was my boyfriend, wouldn't I have welcomed his flirtatiousness? 

"No way!"  I look down and shiver, a chill running through my body.  My shoulders are tense now.  

"That's good.  He seems to be into you."  Josh has yet to look at me again.  He stares into the darkness.  I can't read him.  I wonder what he's thinking at this moment. 

Why is that good? 

"Well, I'm not into him."  I snap back at him.  Didn't he catch that part when I tried pushing him away?  "I can tell that he is the type that gets around." 

That catches his attention and he looks over at me once again, this time raising his pierced brow.  "Does that bug you?"  

"I don't like players," I gulp.  I don't know why he makes me so nervous yet so comfortable at the same time.  This time alone has been what I had hoped for since I first laid eyes on him inside.  

    "Like you don't get around?"  He scoffs.  His tone was laced with sarcasm.  I can't tell if that was a question or an accusation.  

    "I don't."  I shoot back.  He twirls his lip ring around with his tongue.  Gosh, he is so sexy.  I catch myself staring.  I don't know if he has noticed or not.  I try to snap myself out of it but can't help it.  He has the whole punk rock look down perfect, that's for sure. 

    "How many?" He asks, reaching in his pocket for another cigarette.  He pulls one out and lights it.  

    "Guys?"  I ask, surprised at how far he is taking this.  Especially with a girl he just met.  That's kind of private information.  

    I sigh and then give in to answering his question.  For some reason, I want to tell him about me.  I want him to know me.  I want to know him.  

    "One."  I can feel my face turn the deepest shade of red.  I follow his eyes and look out into the darkness, my eyes settling on a tree.  

    The look on his face is priceless.  Almost like he has just seen a ghost.  He chokes on the smoke he just inhaled.    

"One?!"  He repeats once he's done coughing.  "One?!"  

I don't reply.  I can't tell if that is a good or a bad reaction from him. 

"One…" He says again.  This time much more calmly.  "Wow."

"Is that a bad thing?"  I blurt out, avoiding his stare.  

"No, not at all.  It's a good thing."  He takes a long drag from his cigarette.  His eyes are narrow, and I can tell he is deep in thought.  "Do you have a boyfriend?"

I shake my head no and ask him if he has a girlfriend.  He shakes his head and tells me that he is single as well.  Then he adds that he doesn't really do the whole girlfriend thing.  

"So how many for you?"  I ask, curiosity getting the best of me.  If he can know my number, can't I know his?

He hesitates to answer.  

"Well?"

"Nine."  I hope he is joking.  But the look on his face tells me that he is not.  At least he is still at single digits, I guess.  "None of them were serious.  It was just hook ups, nothing more." 

My stomach churns at the thought of me being interested in someone who doesn't do girlfriends and has been with nine girls.  I was Jake's first and he was mine.  At least, that what he told me.  

Something about Josh draws me in to him though.  He isn't like anyone I have ever been attracted to before.  He's not my usual type.  But then again, I'm not sure what is.  Maybe someone like Jake?  Preppy, jock type.  And look how well that worked out for me.  

"There you are!" The door flies open, and Sara comes stumbling out.  Obviously, she's had a few too many drinks.  "I've been looking for you.  I thought you left me here."  She trips over her own feet and almost drops the cup in her hand.  I take it from her and take a drink.  

    Straight vodka.  Awesome.  

    "Bryson said we are leaving in a few.  Alex is looking for you by the way."  Sara announces.  Josh looks annoyed at the mention of Alex's name.  

    "Stay." Josh says, in a voice a little over a whisper.  It was so quiet that I barely heard him.  I look over at him with questioning eyes. 

    With that, the door opens again, and Bryson appears with Alex right behind him.  I finished off Sara's drink.  I'm going to need it if I'm going to be stuck in a car with Alex.  

    Alex looks straight at me.  I hope he keeps his distance.  

    "You ready?" Bryson asks me, fidgeting with the keys in his left hand.  

    "I can take her home later," Josh suggests, surprising me.  My heart flutters at the idea.  Alex's face scrunches up with anger.  

    "Mia's coming with us," Alex is the first to respond.  He narrows his eyes in Josh's direction.  Josh returns the stare, challenging him.  

    "I'm going to stay," I decided.  Everyone looks at me. Sara gives me a look, asking me if I am sure without saying the actual words.  We've been friends for so long that we have learned to communicate with our eyes.  I nod and give her the okay.  

    "I'll wait up for you," Sara says, grabbing Bryson's hand and leading him towards his car.  Alex doesn't move.  

    "I'm sorry, Mia.  I let the alcohol get the best of me." I look up at him and see that he looks sincere.  "I really do like you and didn't mean to mess things up with you."

    I gulp, not sure how to reply to that.  I mean, yeah, Alex is cute, but nothing compared to Josh.  I don't know why, but I am wildly attracted to Josh.  Something draws me to him, but I can't pinpoint what it is. 

    "I want to get to know you better.  Maybe take you out on a proper date?" Alex continues.  Josh's green eyes flash between Alex and me.  They both wait for me to say something.  To say anything.  

    "Just leave her alone," Josh finally talks.  His voice is low and gruff.  Alex glares at him, warning him to shut his mouth.

    "I'm staying," I repeat.  Something inside of me is telling me to stay with him.  I don't know why but I just have this unexplainable feeling.  Getting involved with a guy who doesn't date can't be a good idea.  I mean I don't believe in random hookups and he doesn't believe in girlfriends so what would we be?  Just friends?

    Disappointment is written all over Alex's face.  He stares at the ground, hands shoved in his jean pockets.  From what I've heard about Alex, I don't think he's much into girlfriends either.  

    He starts to say something but stops himself.  His shoulders slump over as he walks towards the car.  And with that they are gone.  

    "You don't need to be getting mixed up with Alex," Josh states.  My brows furrow at his words.  I wonder what he could mean by that.  

    "Why?" I ask, my voice came out scratchy.  I clear my throat.  The sounds echoing through the quiet porch.  I look around and am surprised that we are finally alone out here.  Everyone has either left or wondered back inside. 

    "You're too nice for him."  I scoff at his words.  Too nice?  What the heck does that mean?  "You're too nice to be getting mixed up with any of us."  

 His words stung.  I felt like I had been punched in the chest.  "You don't know anything about me."  

    I give him a few minutes to speak up and explain himself, but that never happens.  We sit in complete silence, avoiding each other's eyes.  

    "Have a good night."  I say, getting up to go inside.  I'm halfway hoping that he will stop me.  But he doesn't do that either.  

    I open the door and walk back into the house.  I look around to see if I see any familiar faces.  Tate and Lucas are still where we had left them.  My eyes fall on a girl I recognize from my Government class.  She is hanging out with a few other girls that I recognize from around campus.  They are hovering over a long table, playing a game of beer pong.    

    "Mia?"  I turn around and see my good friend coming towards me, cup in hand.  "I thought that was you!"  Madison flipped her blonde locks over her shoulder.  She looked adorable in a jean mini skirt and halter top.  

    "Hey!"  I force a smile on my face, not wanting her to know how down I am feeling suddenly.  I don't know how or why Josh even has that effect on me.  Who cares what he thinks? 

    "Where's Sara?"  She asks, looking around for our friend.  

    "She left already," I shrug, letting the smile fade a little.  "Who are you here with?" 

    She points across the room at a blonde guy.  I focus in on him and realize that it's Casey.  I have one class with him.  He is a pretty nice guy.  She shoots me a grin.

    "He lives here, right?"  I ask.  She nods and tells me that his room is right up the stairs.  We end up walking into the kitchen together to get another drink.  I end up making us both a cherry vodka sour and Casey appears a few minutes later to grab another beer.  He places a kiss on the top of Madison's head.  She looks up and grins at him as he bends down and kisses her a second time, this time on the mouth.  

    "Hey Mia," He greets me, with a warm smile, noticing me for the first time.  

    "Hey," I reply, taking a sip out of my cup.  

    I awkwardly stand there, watching them make puppy eyes at each other.  I am glad Madison has found a good guy.  She deserves to be happy.  I long for someone to kiss me like that. 

    Two more guys I know from around campus walk over and exchange handshakes with Casey.  I actually went on a date with one of them before during my freshman year there.  It never turned into anything serious.  Now that I think about it, I'm not for sure why.  I mean, he's pretty cute.  These are the guys I should be chasing.  These are my normal type.  Jocks.  Football players.  Alex and Josh look like bad news.  Nothing good can come of being mixed up with them.   

    "What's up, Mia?" One asks, named Justin, embracing me in a hug.  I can smell a mixture of cigarettes, alcohol, and cologne on him.  His touch is comforting to me.  I force a smile up at him as our eyes meet.  "Are you alone?"

    I nod and continue to nurse my drink.  The taste of vodka numbs my throat.  I am definitely feeling good at this point.  Justin scoots closer to me, draping an arm around my shoulders.  At this point, I don't even care.  Madison grins at me and I already know what is going through her head.  

    "Let's do some shots!"  One of the other guys shouts over the music.  Casey and Madison shake their head in agreement and before I know it someone is putting a shot glass in my hand.  I look down at the clear liquid.  Must be more vodka.  Yay for me.  We clink our glasses together and throw it back.  My face scrunches as I swallow the warm liquid.  One of the guys, I think his name is Brett, grabs the bottle and pours us each another.  That one almost came back up.  Casey takes the empty shot glass out of my hand and sets it on the bar beside us.  

    "Want to get out of here?"  Justin bends down and whispers through my hair.  I almost lose my balance and grab onto the bar to steady myself.  The room is starting to spin.  

    "I need to sit down actually," I reply.  I stagger towards the other room to the couch.  Justin grabs my arm, keeping me from falling. 

    "Thank-you," I mutter, not sure if he heard me.  He turns me around and before I know it, leads me up the stairs.  "Where are we going?"  

    "My room.  You don't look so good.  Are you okay?"  Justin's face is filled with concern as I lean my body against his for support.  

    "I don't feel so good," I admit.  Between the alcohol and being so upset I feel like I could vomit at any moment.  He opens up a door and leads me to a twin sized bed inside.  I lie down, looking up at the ceiling.  Justin sits beside me on the bed and brushes my hair off my face.  

    "Do you need anything?"

"Water please?" I ask, trying to push the liquid back down my throat that keeps trying to come up.  

    Without saying anything, he gets up and exits the room.  

    I'm not for sure how long he was gone when he returns.  It could have been a minute; it could have been ten. 

    "Here, drink this."  Justin helps me sit up, and hands me a red solo cup.  I don't question, I just drink.  I chug the ice water, forcing it down.  

    "Thank-you," I give him the only smile that I can manage.  He smiles back at me.  Okay, he is really, really good looking.  He has an amazing mocha complexion; I'm guessing half African American.  He's tall and muscular with the darkest chocolate brown eyes I have ever seen.  His blue polo hugs every muscle in all the right places.  This is the type of guy I should be chasing.  Not Josh.  I need to keep telling myself this, because ever since entering this room he is all I can think about.  

    He takes the empty cup and tosses it across the room, towards the trash can.  I throw myself back against the pillows and close my eyes.  

    Right as I start to drift off to sleep, I hear the door fly open.  Standing in the doorway is Josh.  The surprised look on his face is priceless. 

    "What's up, Man?" Justin nods to him.  

    "What the hell is going on in here?"  I can tell he is trying to hide his anger, but he isn't doing a very good job with it.  

    "Nothing, Man.  She had a little too much to drink and couldn't even walk.  She was about to get sick, so I brought her up here to sleep it off."  

    I attempt to sit up but can't.  

    "Mia, stop." Justin warns.  It's almost like he is reading my mind because he gets up and grabs the trashcan that was across the room.  He brings it over to me just in time.  I lean over the bed and let everything out.  

    "I've got this.  You can go."  Josh walks into the room and pushes pasts Justin.  

    "Dude, this is my room." Justin argues.  Josh ignores him and grabs a fistful of my hair, holding it back for me.  I vomit again.  

    Gross.  How embarrassing is this.  Not one, but two hot guys watching me upchuck.  

    Josh doesn't say a word as I wipe my mouth with the back of my hand.  Justin asks me once again if there is anything I need.  I shake my head no but thank him for all of his help.  I lay back, feeling a little bit better now.  

    After a few minutes, Josh asks me if I feel any better.  I nod, avoiding making eye contact with him.  Well, if he had any interest in me, I am sure it's gone now.  

    Josh wraps his arms around my body and lifts me up, surprising me.

    "I am taking her with me."  He looks at Justin, who just stares back at him.  And with that we are gone.  

    "Where are we going?"  I ask him, wrapping my arms around his neck as he carries me down the stairs.  

    "I'm taking you home."  

    The car ride was silent.  I was surprised that his heavy metal wasn't blasting.  When he parked, he walked around to my side of the car and opened the door.  He grabbed my upper arm and helped me out of the car.  

    "Do you need me to carry you again?"  He asks, leading me towards my door.  I shake my head no and try to control my blushing.  I scramble in my purse to find my keys.  After what feels like forever, I find them.  

    "Let me," Josh takes them out of my hand and unlocks the door.  It's dark inside the dorm and I immediately run into the desk, making a loud ruckus.  I look over at Sara's bed, but there isn't any movement.  I squint and can make out her figure on the bed.  There is someone with her though.  I make my way closer and realize that Bryson is with her.  I can't help but to smile.  

    "Are you good?"  Josh whispers.  The thing is, I don't want him to leave.  I look over at Sara and am jealous of what she has.  I am just glad she realized it before it was too late.  

    "Stay."  The words pop out of my mouth before I had a chance to stop them.  The silence that followed was deadening.  I can't make out his face in the dark but his figure steps towards me.  He is close enough that I can smell him.  My heart is beating so fast and loud I wonder if he can hear it.  

    He leads me over to my bed and sits me down.  I look up at him standing over me.  Gosh, he is so sexy.  He pushes me back to where I am laying down.  I continue to look up at him, wondering what is going to happen next.  I can feel heat running up my legs.  He grabs my foot and fiddles with my shoe.  I hear it fall to the floor as he moves on to the next one.  

    "Thank-you."  I whisper, trying to keep as quiet as possible.  I want him to continue to undress me.  I don't know why, but I do.  My body is craving him.  

    I wait for his next move, but it doesn't happen.  He is just looking down at me.  I push the strap of my romper off my shoulder.  Lower and lower.  

    "Not tonight."  Josh pushes the strap back up.  

    I am glad that the room is dark so that he couldn't see how red my face was at the moment.  How humiliating.  

    "Another time.  Not when you are this drunk."  Josh continues.  I go from embarrassed to shocked.  Is Josh really playing the gentleman card?

    I nod and lay back onto my bed.  I grab his arm and lead him down next to me.  His heavy arm wraps around me and the butterflies in my stomach get worse.  He feels so good.  This feels so right.  

    I fell asleep with a smile on my face.