Chapter 27 -> Part 27

I stood in front of the assembly. A quick head count revealed there was only twenty-five Genin present, that would barely be enough to create the next shift. Three of those who would be put on shift would be slightly injured. I wasn't comfortable with it, but I couldn't put Hiashi on shift, for obvious reasons, and Hizashi and the Uchiha had an active threat against them, so now that I was capable of something, they needed to stay near me. The four of us would probably make the strongest team the village had to offer, so moving as a unit would probably be best. Minato would have to tough out the pain running a patrol would undoubtedly cause. The other two should have been fine, it was only scrapes and bruises from a spar gone bad several days ago. I could heal the injuries, but it wasn't worth the energy.

"Congrats, you're all on shift for the night," I informed them dryly. "The Kiri Jōnin are attempting an intimidation tactic by walking around the village. Do not engage. If they attack, which is unlikely at this point, or reinforcements for them arrive, sound the alarm and fall back. It is vital that if the alarm sounds, you get onto or inside the walls as fast as possible. You will have five seconds from the time the alarm begins or you will be trapped outside. No one, and I mean no one, is to sound any alarm unless the Jōnin are already inside of the village or one of you is dead. Do I make myself clear? The contingency that is in place will only work once. Once that contingency is in place, this village is as good as lost unless several Konoha teams return and are able to fight them off, even though there will be absolutely no way to contact anyone outside the village." That was a bit of an exaggeration, but if I had to put up the seals, we would be cut off completely from the rest of the Konoha forces, basically placing ourselves under siege, which was decidedly not good, unless Kiri actually put us under siege, then it would be even worse. If I took down the seals after putting them up the first time, Kiri would no doubt take full advantage of the opportunity and actually attack the village.

Minato raised a hand. "What's the contingency?"

"It doesn't matter, so leave it be and just follow orders."

"Does it have to do with—"

"Minato!" I barked harshly. "Loose lips sink ships. Leave it be." That was actually more accurate than I expected it to be, with the fight in Water country going on and the Kiri shinobi at our gates. "Everyone but Uchiha-san and the Hyuuga twins are dismissed."

The Genin left in a hurry.

"Hiashi-san, I want you practicing your Taijutsu with Uchiha-san. Be careful to avoid injuries. Hizashi-san, you're with me."

"Shouldn't I practice with—" Hizashi began.

"No, you both use the same style and know each other too well. If Hiashi-san has to fight, it won't be against people he's familiar with."

I turned on my heel and strode out of the room. I needed to get the rest of the Genin back on duty as fast as possible. I leapt onto the rooftops and dashed to the Interrogation department. The Chuunin working scowled at me, but pointed to the row of cells the Genin probably were. "We're not wasting any manpower on them," he informed me.

"I never expected you to." I made my way into the first cell and jerked it open. It wasn't even locked. The Genin inside sat on a metal bed, knees pulled up to his chest. I closed the cell door behind me, leaving Hizashi standing outside. "Why?" I asked the Genin.

"It wasn't right."

"To disobey a direct order? No, that wasn't right."

"They were shouting and screaming and there were too many—"

"So, shouting and screaming back was going to solve it? No, it wouldn't it would only make things worse. Instead of being the better person, you lowered yourself to their level. It wasn't about shinobi versus civilians out there, it was about who gave in to fear and panic first."

"But—"

"I ordered you to stand down for a very good reason. Unless you can give me a very good reason as to why you decided to disobey a direct order, I will have you punished."

He curled in on himself. "I thought it was the right thing to do."

"So, does that make you the ultimate authority?"

"No."

"I didn't think so. Do you have any better defense?"

He shook his head.

"You know the Konoha sign language, correct?"

He nodded.

"Lie down and don't move," I ordered, reaching into my supply pouch and stepping forward.

He hesitated for a minute, but knew better than to disobey. With swift movements, I painted a seal on his throat and activated it.

I took a step back. "Communication is a privilege. The seal will prevent you from communicating with anyone and you are not to use the sign language for anything but the communication necessary to complete your duties." I opened the door.

'How long?' He signed to me.

Faster than he could track, I grabbed his fingers and twisted them painfully before violently slamming him against the nearest wall. "That's your second strike, Genin." If he had been able to make a noise, he would have screaming as I painfully twisted his arms in a direction they were not supposed to go. "Don't test me again." I shoved him out of the cell and he scampered off, shaken, but unharmed.

I was extremely grateful that the rest of the encounters with the insubordinate Genin went similarly. It was nearly ten at night when I shoved the last Genin out of their cell.

"You're too soft," Hizashi said as the last one disappeared.

"Probably, but my sensei put that same seal on me when I mouthed off to him one too many times. They're not going to forget the lesson."

"What lesson?" The Hyuuga scoffed.

"Disobeying orders is a Very Bad Idea."

"You all but gave us permission to challenge your orders on the first day."

"Challenge them, yes, if you have a better idea. I never gave anyone permission to disobey or disregard them. Even I know better than that."

"You're too soft. You shouldn't have allowed even that."

"If I didn't, I'd be a giant hypocrite."

"You've challenged orders?"

"I'm not proud of it, but yes."

"I heard you talked back to a Kage too. I'd like to hear that story." Hizashi nudged as we leaned against the desk which the disgruntled Chuunin vacated when I started releasing the Genin.

"Okay, um, which time?"

"You've talked back to a Kage more than once?"

"I talk back to everyone I know."

"How are you still alive?"

"I'm a Jinchuuriki and a medic, I get a lot of leeway no one else does. I never made it out of those encounters unscathed, and you could make the argument that I might have been better off dead."

"Okay then, what was the first time? What happened?"

"Ha, that time, I got the Kyuubi sealed inside of me for it and started the war with Kumo. I'm pretty sure the actual conversation is extremely classified."

"Then what about the second time?"

"Pretty much every time I've challenge a Kage, the conversation ends up classified."

"You're no fun."

"Good for me." I stood up and started to walk out.

We plodded down the nearly-empty main street of the village. We were nearly to headquarters when a flustered Genin appeared, barreling towards us. "They're doing something; we don't know what it is and they said to get you—" the Genin panted. I immediately took off towards the wall in a shunshin. Going down a straight street was much easier than travelling across rooftops and around corners in a shunshin. I stumbled out of it, overshooting slightly and landing a few feet in front of the terrified group of Genin trying to stare down the Seven Swordsmen of Kiri. I tried to brush the slip-up off as intentional.

"Hello, I was told I was needed here?" I greeted pleasantly.

"Your Hokage must be quite the idiot to put a child in charge," the apparent spokesman of the group took a step forward so there was only the thickness of the village walls between us.

"I agree, but it couldn't be helped." I shrugged as the swordsman in front of me balanced his blade, which looked like Samehada, across his shoulders like a yoke. He reminded me of an Akimichi, positively huge, with paint on his face and a girth that wouldn't fit through most doors.

"Are you sure you can see me from down there, little medic?"

"Fuguki-san, is it?" I asked. He sneered at me but nodded when I got the name right. "With all due respect, may I ask you a question?"

He gestured for me to continue.

I opened my mouth to ask my question. "Uzumaki-sama!" I heard Mayu call out. A few seconds later, she landed beside me and handed me a scroll.

"Thank you," I told her politely and she quickly melted into the ranks of Genin. "This isn't my question, but do you mind if I read this message?"

"Go ahead," he invited amicably.

"Let it not be said Kirigakure has no manners." I bowed shallowly and opened the scroll, quickly deciphering the contents. "Well, this is insulting!" I exclaimed with mock horror.

The enemy nin in front of me started to snicker. "I'm sure you mother will reassure you later, little boy." One grumbled.

"Oh, it's not insulting to me, it's insulting you, Fuguki-san!"

The snickers immediately turned to growls.

"According to Shimura-san, he's the man in charge of the Konoha forces opposing Kiri," I explained, "He asks me to send his regards to you for the information which led to the capture of several Kirigakure Jōnin. I do believe Shimura-san is calling you a traitor, but don't murder the messenger!"

One of the others laughed loudly and pushed his way to the front. "I have to give it to you, kid, you are one clever bastard, but you can't turn our forces against each other so easily." Black hair framed his face, and if it wasn't for his disturbingly deep voice, he could have passed as a kunoichi.

"I'm sorry, I haven't properly memorized the Kirigakure entries in the Bingo book yet, I am only a kid."

"Yuki Usui," he introduced himself with a dramatic bow.

"Nice to meet you, I'm Uzumaki Kichiro."

"Ah, Konoha's Spirit of the Triage, the first male medic-nin. Sounds like a girly profession to go into, kid."

"You sound a little jealous of something a baby kunoichi can do better than you."

One of the swordsmen erupted in a high-pitched laugh. "The kid got you there, Yuki. How does it feel to be embarrassed by a six-year-old?" A small woman stepped forward. Her hair stuck up in a way that reminded me of the Kyuubi's ears. I bit back that comment. Announcing I was a Jinchuuriki wouldn't be very smart, especially since I was nearly certain Kiri didn't know that particular detail.

"Kunoichi-san?" I interrupted Yuki's response.

"What is it, clever kid?"

"I'm nine."

"You're a smart ass," she deadpanned.

"Guilty as charged," I mimicked the Yuki's bow. His killing intent washed over me, but I'd faced the Kyuubi's ire without flinching, I could take his annoyance. "So, are we done mocking each other? I think it's only polite of me to ask why you're here. I wouldn't want to come to the wrong conclusion and end up in a giant fight that could be completely avoided because I'm going to be the one cleaning up the injuries afterwards. Or we could pause this conversation. I've been told you've been walking a good portion of the day and I know very well how tiring it can be. Being a kid and all, I get naps even though adults don't." I suppressed a wince. I might have gone a little too far on that one.

"He's insane," squeaked one of the Genin behind me. I sent a sharp look over my shoulder at the Genin who couldn't keep their mouth closed. The whole point of drawing their ire was so they wouldn't care about the others. At the second interruption, I wasn't sure that plan would work so I changed tactics.

"I think you're right, little Genin," the kunoichi stage-whispered.

"Okay," I drew the attention back to myself. "I'm really asking right now. Why are you here?"

"We were hoping we could speak with your Kage." Fuguki was back in charge. He lifted Samehada off his shoulders and leveled it at me.

"He's honestly not here. He left a little more than a day ago."

"Bring me the person in charge."

"I am in charge. Not even the Daimyō is messing with my authority anymore."

"Then bring me an adult—"

"I am an adult. Clan head and everything! Can I hold your sword? Please? Can it cut through things as easily as it steals chakra? It doesn't look sharp, but I know better than to only trust my eyes."

"Boy—"

"Okay, fine, I can be serious. Big grumpy Kichiro coming right up." I put my hands on my hips and puffed out my chest. "Hello Mister Fuguki-san! What can I do for you this very late evening?"

The other swordsmen, and swordswoman, suppressed snorts of laughter. I didn't expect Kiri ninja to have a sense of humor, but whatever worked, worked. Even the Genin giggled behind me, but it was immediately silenced as killing intent washed over them.

I relaxed and let my tone turn serious. "I really am in charge and I would really like to know what you want to avoid a fight if I can."

"Kirigakure wishes to end this war by taking control of Konoha and thus forcing your forces to surrender."

"Then go ahead and take the village," I stepped aside and gestured them in while the Genin stared at me, horrified.

Fearful of a trap, none of them moved and I retook my position, struggling not to cough at the tickle in my chest.

"Even if you take the village, it won't do you much good. You see, Konoha is practically empty right now, there's only Genin. Except me, I'm a Chuunin, so is the girl who delivered the insulting message from Shimura-san, but really, there's no one of value here. Well, I suppose that's not entirely true, the Daimyō's here, but right now, people don't really like him and if you want to kill him, I can show you where he's staying!" I had a feeling my bluff was only beginning.

"You have a point there, kid." Fuguki said sneering. "But someone's put a lot of trust in you, so I'm pretty sure you would make a good bartering piece."

"I'm sure Suna would pay handsomely for me considering I totally humiliated their best poison experts. Iwa probably wants to get me back for supposedly raising a bunch of people from the dead, even though they just didn't do their job. As for the Hokage, I'll let you in on a little secret. He doesn't particularly like me, and I'm pretty sure Shimura-san is out to get me."

Poor swordsman, he wasn't exactly sure what to do with that information, especially since they couldn't tell if I was lying or telling the truth or even if my information was accurate.

Considering Kushina looked absolutely horrified as she hung back in the crowd of Genin with a Henge to hide her hair color, I was doing a good job of convincing people. Between her and Minato, they knew all of my tells, and they were convinced. A bunch of strangers stood no chance.

Fuguki took a step back. "The Hokage left Konoha as the decoy, with just enough imbeciles to cause trouble, while he set up base elsewhere. Risky move, but smart."

"Well, the fact that he dumped me here with no idea what to do makes a ton more sense now."

"What do you know about Fūinjutsu, little Uzumaki?"

"Kiri destroyed Uzushiogakure, so it's not like I have access to any kind of legacy. I know standard explosive tags and stuff, but my sensei didn't have time to teach me more before the war started."

"This place isn't worth our time," Fuguki grumbled.

"Hey, I find that personally insulting! We have a decent tourist and traveler's resorts that would love a bit of business. The onsen here are pretty sweet if you want to try it out!"

"They don't stand a snowball's chance in hell against us. We might as well enjoy ourselves," the Yuki said.

The hell? They were actually considering stepping onto the village? I mentally ran through the seals I knew that could contain them in a single building, if I could manage it. I bounced on my toes, my hands behind my back, appearing as if I was waiting eagerly for their decision while I signed to the Genin to get the hell out of Dodge. If this backfired, it wasn't going to be pretty.

"We deserve time at the onsen and a bed for once!"

I glanced behind me and saw the Genin's faces switch to terror. Several fled and the rest slowly backed away as if they were facing a pack of rabid dogs. "This way!" I chirped, leading them to the closest hotel. When the civilian owners saw us coming, they fled, as well as the handful of patrons woken by the commotion.

I bowed deeply and ushered them inside. A moment too late, they realized the trap. "Uzumaki!" Fuguki bellowed as I slammed a seal against the door frame. The walls, roof, and floorboards started to glow with a quarantine seal. No one was getting out of that building.

"I guess quarantine isn't much different than prison. Damn, that seal took a lot of chakra."

The Genin and gathering audience gaped as the hotel rattled with angry Kiri nin.

"You are going to pay dearly for this, Uzumaki," the kunoichi pushed her way forward to stand in front of me.

"Yes, yes, I probably am going to pay for it. In fact, I think I'm suffering from a very serious case of chakra exhaustion. Sensei is going to beat me silly for it."

As everyone started to realize exactly what happened, the cheering started.

"Eventually, I swear, someone is going to figure out how to not underestimate me."

"You're a bastard, Uzumaki."

"You know, I'd be more inclined to believe you if I wasn't looking at an overconfident, hedonistic group of individuals who is supposed to be one of the strongest teams in the shinobi nations. Come to think about it, you were just taken down by a nine-year-old Chuunin's medic technique. I don't envy trying to live that down. I think I'm going to pass out soon, someone catch me please." I staggered to the side and suddenly Kushina was there, putting my arm around her shoulders. "I am feeling really, really awful. Be a dear and put up a bunch of those fancy chakra-specific seals and tie them to a bunch of people so no one can free them by themselves. Preferably use people with Kekkei Genkai so the signature can't be copied."

Kushina passed me off to someone else and got to work. After some indeterminate time, Kushina finished and someone placed my hand against the seal.

"That is some damn fine Fūinjutsu," one of the swordsmen commented, but I didn't see which.

Kushina ignored them. "You're in charge, so you gotta be one of the people who has the key."

"I'm out, peeps," I said as I used the last of the chakra keeping me conscious to lock the seal.

(-_-)

"Hey kiddo, we were getting worried there, you've been out for almost a week," Ise's voice cut through the haze that left me suspended in a half-asleep state.

"I don't feel too good," I wheezed and pushed the damp cloth off my forehead. I hated damp hair more than I hated the heat from a fever. Trying to sit up was an ordeal, especially when Ise held me down easily.

"You still are very sick, kiddo. You were barely breathing for several days and your fever still hasn't broken."

"Wait, I was out for a week? What did I miss?" I pushed the frustration of only being able to say two or three words every few breaths.

"Well, congratulations, you've been instrumental in ending another war. The Mizukage preferred to have his Swordsmen and their swords returned rather than continue the war. Kumo and Konoha are splitting the reparations won from the Land of Water, though not very evenly."

I rubbed my eyes, trying to clear the grit that glued them shut. "Who's in charge of the village?"

"Shimura-sama returned three days after you successfully trapped the Seven in that hotel. While you were incapacitated, he took control of the village. Two days ago, your condition degenerated to the point that the silencing seals on the insubordinate Genin failed as well as the quarantine seal. Thankfully, Shimura-sama put up real prisoner containment seals as soon he was informed of your poor condition."

"And the Hokage?"

"There has been no news from the Iwa front."

"A very bad thing?"

"I believe so, Shimura-sama wished to meet with you as soon as you were conscious."

I groaned. "What does he need me for?"

"I don't know, but apparently its urgent, he'll be here soon."

"Someone—" I started to cough wetly. Ise quickly rolled me onto my side and pressed a cloth over my mouth. I took the cloth from his hand as the coughs wracked my entire body. When I pulled the cloth away, there was a sizable glob of yellowish mucus. "How in the nine circles of hell did I get a lung infection?" I demanded weakly as Ise wrapped the cloth in another and carried it away.

"I'm not exactly sure, kiddo, but Shimura-sama will be here soon."

"I hate this." A knock sounded at the door.

"Come in," Ise responded. The door opened slowly to reveal Danzō in the Jōnin uniform.

"Uzumaki-san," he greeted quietly.

I pushed myself into a mock-sitting position. Ise stood up and quickly left the room before Danzō could say anything. "Don't you have a village I screwed up to fix?" I asked as scathingly as I could manage. He sat down in the chair without a word. "Stop being creepy, what the hell do you want?"

He held up my mission scroll and placed it in my lap. "Open it."

"Screw that shit, I'm not in charge anymore." I was surprised he didn't cut off my incredibly slow speech in frustration.

"The Iwa-Ame alliance defeated the Konoha forces the day before the Hokage arrived on the front. He walked into a trap." I expected him to at least be patronizing, maybe even cruel, but he just seemed tired.

"I can barely breathe and I can't even defend myself, the hell can I do about it?"

"Open the scroll."

"Why?"

"I need to confirm something."

The man seemed like he was about to snap from stress. Not snap the violent, explosive way, but the sad way that left people a shadow of themselves. He was all but begging me, something I did not expect from him of all people. My fingers didn't respond as they were supposed to while I struggled to unroll it, but eventually I managed. My head swam afterwards as Danzō picked it up and read it, sagging in relief. "I don't want to know whatever the hell got you worked up. Please tell me that was all you needed."

"I'm sorry, kid, but there's a few more things. Iwa has officially won the war and they are escorting those they captured back to Konoha to make their demands. The majority of the troops are under orders to scatter and return in a few weeks. The Hokage has refused to give any other details, but included orders to fake your death. Except for myself, Uzumaki-san, and two ANBU who can be trusted without reservation, everyone is under the impression that your condition is continuing to degenerate from an unknown illness, which is mostly true, none of the doctors have been able to figure out your illness and you are not out of danger yet."

I rolled my eyes, but before I could respond, another coughing fit wracked my body. Danzō pressed a clean cloth against my mouth and quickly helped me roll onto my side. When the fit subsided, Danzō tucked the soiled cloth away in a cloth bag that dangled from the bedside table. "Make sure you wash your hands once you leave," I advised. "And I'm not going to die from this. Give me two weeks and I'll be back to normal, there's just a bunch of fluid in my lungs. It'll clear in time."

"You know of this illness?"

"Yes, I'm calling it pneumonia."

"That's hardly comforting. There is still the matter of faking your death."

"Do what you want, I can't stop you. I'm going to be laid up for several more days. If you want it to be convincing, have three or four of the other Uzumaki kids fall ill as well, but make sure Kushina and Nagato are among them, they're going to be major targets if I'm supposedly taken out of the picture and you'll need to have them under wraps where they can be protected."

"Why must the ruse be expanded?"

"Because no one challenges a tragedy. I've caused too many problems for too many people. They'll want irrefutable confirmation of my death, like a body, that you won't be able to produce. Just do it, and you might want to have one of them 'fall ill' very soon, otherwise it won't—" I broke off in an increasingly violent coughing fit.

When it was over, Danzō looked even more shaken than before. "I'm recalling Tsunade-chan and Biwako-san. You're really going to die at this rate."

"Stop!" I wheezed, barely catching his sleeve as he tried to sweep out of the room. "If you bring either of them back, they're as good as dead, considering they're the two closest people to the Hokage. I'll be fine, I promise. It sounds a lot worse than it actually is. If worst comes to worst, I can direct a medic to treat it, but that's a last resort."

"Boy!" Danzō snarled at me, his temper exploding without warning. "Until I, the only fit individual of this village's council, can be sure no one is pulling Hiruzen's strings, you are the ultimate power of this village, bedridden or not, and if you are dead, there's no wriggling out of whatever treaty Iwa forces us to sign. Normally, the cornerstone of this village numbers nearly five hundred solid A-ranked Jōnin at any given time. Right now, there are five shinobi in this village capable of fighting at an A level—"

"Little old me bluffed the Seven Swordsmen into cornering themselves in a civilian hotel for heaven's sake."

"And look where that put you."

"This is a total fluke and bad luck in my part, I swear."

He eyed me dubiously.

"How did you get all this information and orders anyways, especially since the Hokage is apparently captured?"

"Hatake-san and another individual have learned some bad habits from you and have been doing their best to exchange information. However, Iwa is taking no chances with a Kage as their prisoner, and Hatake doesn't work miracles."

"Why is the Hokage ordering you to fake my death?"

"That is unknown."

"Then we're not going to, because if Iwa wants something to do with me, it'll only cause problems later when they find out they were tricked. If it was that important to deny them access to me, he would have just ordered my death."

"You shouldn't—"

"My life, my call."

"You can't just take orders for once in your life?"

"No, I can't. Sick or not, there's no reason for me to fake-die."

"That you know of—"

"I'll take my chances."

"You're not seeing sense—"

"No, you're emotionally compromised and too hung up on tricking Iwa into making an invalid agreement. We still have their people prisoner and we have better sealing techniques—"

"Fūinjutsu is not a cure-all."

"No, but it gives us leverage to make the terms more favorable. How long until they get here?"

"A few days."

"Then find my sister or someone else who knows seals and secure anything or anyone Iwa would want, and attach it to a dead-man's seal. Put it on the ground just inside the front gate and make it visible. They'll push the Hokage into a supposed trap first and he'll activate the switch. Bam, bargaining power."

"And if it doesn't work?"

"Iwa's won and we accept that. There's no reason to be a sore loser. We held them off for this entire war with a quarter of the troops they have. That's a damn good accomplishment."

"This isn't a playground, there is no sportsmanship."

"Really? In comparison to the other countries, what's our death toll? Because of our medics, we'll be able to recover a good majority of our injured. The other countries won't. We'll be back to full strength before anyone else because we have a large group of younger nin who, with training, can step up and take the slack." I had more to say, but it was cut off by the worst coughing fit so far.

"You need help, boy—"

"No!" I gasped. "Play the long-term game. A bruised pride and a little strategic kowtowing will be much less damaging than broken agreements, you know this."

"Have you no pride?"

I laughed weakly. "I have pride and arrogance by the truckload old man, but I also have people I care about. It's not about being stronger. I don't care whether people know when I'm running circles around them, I'm just content knowing I am. Iwa didn't win this war, they kicked us while we were down. That's not a victory, and we know it. Right now, we might have all the strength of a toddler with candy. They can steal the candy and knock us down, but they don't know it was just cardboard or that the tears are fake until everything is all said and done."

"Again, this isn't some schoolyard fight—"

"That's where you're wrong. People don't grow up, Shimura-san. The words change and their actions have a bigger effect, but it's still the same fights. Suna wanted Konoha's candy, so Suna started the fight, then Kumo wanted a different piece of candy from Konoha, so they started a fight. Iwa had a grudge because it didn't get Konoha's candy last time, so they wanted it this time. Kiri wanted to share candy with Konoha, but Konoha was mad because they smashed their candy earlier, so Kiri decided to team up with Suna because they thought Konoha was being mean. Konoha took Suna, Kiri, and Kumo's candy, but Iwa whacked them from behind and took that candy for themselves. Konoha is going to be smarter than Iwa and hide their candy then leave Iwa to take the candy Konoha stole from everyone else. End of story."

"You have a strange way of looking at things."

"Kids find the adult's fights just as silly as the adults find the children's squabbling, they just can't articulate it. The only difference is that the adults' fights are dangerous and they have no one to slap them on the wrist and say 'enough'."

He started to respond, but another coughing fit took over me.

"You need to rest," He told me when I didn't immediately roll onto my back. "I cannot in good conscience ignore the Hokage's order, but I will compromise with your point of view. I will make it appear as if I am covering up your death.

"A double bluff. Nice."