Chapter 6 - Yasaka gets a free front-row ticket to ‘Wrestlemania’

Yasaka POV –

'Hmm? Where am I?'

I clearly remember going to sleep with my family in my bedroom, and yet I found myself floating in the void of space. My surroundings, if needed to be described in a word, could only be called as colorful.

I tried to move my head to look around, to no avail. It was as if I had no control over my body whatsoever.

…

'Wait, this isn't my body.' The realization, which in hindsight should have been obvious, took embarrassingly long enough. After all, the last time I felt this light was months ago when dear hubby hadn't put another baby into my bun.

…

'Oh!'

At the thought of him, it was as if a lightbulb had suddenly turned on in my head, and a certain conversation we had previously came to mind. I hence realized that this was Her domain, which meant that–

'Am I in hubby's body right now?' I conjectured.

Suddenly, the body I was 'trapped in' started to move around… and I began to feel an additional influx of emotions. Mostly hints of annoyance, momentarily, before amusement trickled in, as I felt a grin forming on my(?) lips. I then heard a very familiar voice call out into the void… 

"Dormammu, I've come to bargain."

THWACK

'Well, it's him alright,' I thought insipidly as a massive red claw punted his body across dimensions.

What was humbling though, I realized, as we blazed through space like a shooting star, was that such an attack, which probably would have killed or maimed me if my own body were to be hit by it… felt like it merely stung on his body. 

…

*Cough* *Cough*

A massive cloud of red dust rose as we finally crash-landed… somewhere. Hubby coughed and groaned as he dizzily opened his eyes, and looked around. 

His lips twitched with mirth as his eyes gazed at the distant blue planet, as well as our distinctly red surroundings.

Mars, I realized, and considering our immense distance from the planet's surface, his body just cratered near the top of a very famous volcano.

I felt a brain aneurysm coming on, at the thought of paying property damage reparations to the Greek Pantheon, if this was the real deal.

Husband, though…

"Worth it." He declared with a self-satisfied smile.

Where is my chancla when I need it?!

He tried to get up, only for a dainty foot to suddenly land on his chest, and push him further into the bottom of the crater.

Golden eyes peered down imperiously, and their owner, an oddly delinquent-looking red-headed girl with a delicate face, started to speak blandly.

"That was bad, and you should feel bad… don't pout at me, you damn man-child! No one else but your Wife and I understand your silly references anyway, and neither of us find them funny. So…" 

She kicked him. "Stop."

She kicked again. "Using."

She kicked strongly. "THEM!"

The final kick saw hubby's body tear through the mountain itself, and rag-doll far away into a smaller one, though not before a parting scream of "Never!" left his lips.

"How childish." I thought, and she said, almost simultaneously.

"Tch. I am a child, technically… compared to all of you old farts anyway." He rolled his eyes and mocked her.

I gawped inwardly as he so brazenly courted death, and true to my thoughts… this time she hit him fiercely. 

Enough that he appeared on the diametrically opposite side of the planet.

Via the shortest distance.

Hovering over his unapologetically smiling, downed form, she huffed and plopped down on his stomach, before a teasing smile suddenly appeared on her face and she asked. "Does that include your wife too, hmm?"

Oya?

Hubby's face crumpled as he glared at the girl who just gave him a smug smile before a thoughtful look appeared on his face.

I knew at that moment, before he spoke even a single word, 'He's going to have to sleep on the sofa the next time.'

"Well, she did kind of rob the cradle in my case, didn't she?"

Yep, punishment decided. No sex for one year.

Her smile widened, and she said gleefully. "Is that so? Oh, you poor innocent child, beguiled by a wicked, trickster fox~"

"...Hey, I didn't go that far," he refuted immediately. "I do love my wife a lot after all."

On second thought, six months will be fair.

"Tch." She annoyedly clicked her tongue, when she realized that he wasn't going to dig his grave any further; and I had all but confirmed that it was her who caused this situation.

But why? 

"How sickeningly sweet. But… more importantly, all of your nonsense almost made me forget." 

Her eyes narrowed, and she suddenly drawled. "What should I do with this intruder that barged into my domain? Hmm~?" 

Hubby just scoffed. "What intruder? You were the one that dragged me in here today."

"Hmm… and yet, you barged into my home every single day before today… so does that mean you finally give up?"

…

"I thought not." She smirked as she saw his annoyed look.

"I won't give up on challenging you." He muttered resolutely.

She snickered in amusement. "Challenges… Is that what you call your exercise in futility? How cute. Still… go ahead, why don't you challenge me now?" 

Then, leaning down, until their faces were just inches apart, she whispered in his ear in a sensual tone, "But that is not what you want of me today, is it? Speak. Your desires… I may grant them… if I so feel like it."

He just stared at her intensely for a long moment before, "I need your help," He huffed and muttered in defeat.

…

"Hmm, is this about the new little red dragon? The one you made a little boo-boo with?" She smirked in victory and asked mockingly. He rolled his eyes but nodded.

She sighed theatrically. "Really, you only ever visit me because of your promise to that half-brained loli— I'll sock you if you gave me that look again." She waved her fist threateningly at hubby who acquiesced to her threat, and looked away.

Huffing, she continued. "And now you come to me because of this kid you barely know. Yet you never come just to visit poor old me. You'll hurt my feelings this way, you know~?"

"...Just tell me if you'll help or not." He said bluntly, though I felt the slight guilt that bubbled up in him.

"Hmm." She tapped her chin in mock thought. "Sure, but…"

She smiled, her terrifyingly sharp teeth on full display. "You'll have to satisfy me first."

…

That is not what I had thought the word 'satisfy' meant, I thought to myself sheepishly as I looked at the scene of the 'carnage' with dead-fish eyes.

…I blame the pregnancy for the lewd thoughts.

…

No sooner had the word left her mouth that hubby's left hand had grabbed her neck. She just cooed. "Oh dear, straight to choking play~ What an absolute deviant! Your wife must have the time of her life in bed~"

No, hubby's pretty vanilla, actually. 

Wait, has he been holding out on me?

His other hand then snaked around her waist, and she giggled. "Adultery in broad daylight? What will your dear wife think?"

I, his dear wife, was not sure really… Did hubby want a harem?

But he never expressed such a desire before.

Is this why she brought me here?

I–

BOOM! 

One improvised front suplex and a massive cloud of dust later, as I took in the surreal yet hilarious scene presented in front of me… every other thought had disappeared, and I had only a singular thought left in my mind. 

O…oh dear, I'm so wet!

…

"Don't slander me, you damn loli baba."

Hubby, now on his feet, said blandly as he rolled his shoulders, and moved his body around, content to ignore the comical sight that was the flag-like body of Great Red planted face-down cartoonishly into the hole in the ground, the one he had arrived from.

Suddenly, it felt like a terrifying atmosphere was suddenly brewing in the air, and I thought…

Kunou, dear daughter of mine. You might end up becoming an orphan today.

…

"Now you've gone and done it." Her voice echoed from down below, and I did not fail to notice that it had reverted to its initial bland tone. Her previously limp, motionless hands dug themselves into the ground, and I thought that she'd pull herself up, however…

CRACK

The only warning we got was the violent trembling of the ground beneath us for just but a moment; before the planet itself was ripped asunder in two pieces by this damn monster. 

In that single instant, hubby rushed forward, and his fist connected with her upside-down body's solar plexus; while simultaneously receiving a spinning kick onto his chest. The two separated even more swiftly than he had arrived – crash-landing and subsequently obliterating what were, just a moment ago, two separate halves of the planet floating in space.

Less than a moment of stillness from the two of them was all I got to make sense of this nonsense; before the bloodied, and rapidly healing pair were at each other's throats again.

All while having heartily laughing with terrifying grins on their face. 

…

"Huff… huff… huff."

Hubby panted tiredly as he stood on the surface of… whatever planet this was supposed to be as his injuries now healed at a snail's pace. His opponent just floated in the air languidly, a dopey, satisfied smile on her slightly sweaty face. 

"Well, I am satisfied indeed. This was a great warmup~ Speak, what do you want?"

Normally, I would have given more attention to the subsequent talk… or the planet made entirely out of damn diamonds that he stood upon… but I was sort of out of it, having witnessed first-hand the sheer destruction brought upon the celestial bodies by this pair of lunatics.

Planets, Moons, Stars… none were spared in their game of space pinball.

I just had one thought in my mind at the moment.

I want to go home.

…

I'm going to go home… and then ground my husband's pelvis into mush~

…

"Oho?!" I was brought to my senses by the gleeful cackling of the dragon. "To think of something so devious in the name of training, are you sure you are not the little girl's sworn enemy?

He just sighed tiredly. "Just tell me if you can do it… I will take care of her physical training. But… from what I've been told about users of her sacred gear, they are inevitably drawn to conflict…"

"...And the fastest way to learn is to fight in near-death battles. Yet you also want the girl to actually be safe. Hmm… okay, I'll do it, but–" she paused as she smiled a wide, scary, full-toothed smile. 

"You don't mind if I make some small changes, do you?"

Hubby just shook his head and smiled. "Just… don't traumatize her."

She giggled. "No promises~"

…