Do Not Become A Farmer. Trust Me.

The general store was the largest building in the town, and for good reason, Shiv found upon entering. The place was filled to the brim with the most random assortment of goods, foods, tools, and even books. The bell above the door finished jingling as the door swung shut behind him, announcing his entrance into the building.

Inside was a single fat man sitting behind the solid-rock counter. "Welcome to my General Store! Please, if you need any…" His jovial voice died down when he took in Shiv's dirty body exposed by his ripped and bloody shirt. "Uh, are you OK, sonny?"

"Hm? Of course." Shiv responded absentmindedly as he browsed the random assortment of items haphazardly filling most of the free space in the building. "You wouldn't happen to have any seeds and hoes and other farming equipment, would you? Oh, and a plow."

"Why, certainly!" The owner answered hesitantly, trying to hide his discomfort. "The question for you is-- can you pay for it?"

"Hah! Of course…" Shiv laughed and stuck his hands in his pockets, and realized that he didn't have any money. "Not." He finished miserably. "You wouldn't happen to accept credit, would you?" He asked without much hope.

"I'm afraid I only accept credit from my regulars." The man shook his head warily, and nervously reached one of his hands under the counter. He tried to hide his movement, but was unsuccessful.

"Yeah, I figured that'd be the case. That does suck, though." He leaned on a nearby dresser with his arms crossed as he thought. He stared at the ceiling for several minutes, which were very nerve-wracking for the store owner, who had no idea what to think of the bloodied man. Then, "I hate reading, but say, do you have a book with a list of the local plant life? If it has pictures, that'd be even better."

"I do. Wait here." The nervous response came, followed by the large man getting out of the chair that Shiv saw was encased in the same stone as the counter. He watched the obese man disappear in a maze of a countless number of towering stacked items that looked like they would fall if someone happened to breath on it. "Here we are. What do you plan to do with it, if you can't afford to buy it?" The general store owner asked suspiciously as he walked back to the counter with a large, dusty tome.

"If you're cool with it, I'll just sit right here and read it and give it back when I'm done." Shiv responded as he picked up the book and began reading with several grumbled complaints about having to read. He was relieved to find that there were illustrations in the book, however.

The merchant opened his mouth to say something, then sighed. "There's an extra chair right over there. Try not to drip blood on it."

"Mhmmm. Don't worry, the blood dried a while ago." Shiv replied without thought, already reluctantly absorbed in the book.

Several hours passed like this, with several customers entering the store and speaking to the store owner in quiet tones as they bought and sold merchandise with many curious glances at Shiv, who saw nothing but the book in his hands.

Finally, as the sun started to set, and Shiv's stomach growled continuously, though unnoticed by the avid reader, the store owner's patience wore out. "Hey, sonny. Here's a sandwich. Go ahead and take that book as a gift. Go wash yourself up and uh, do whatever it is you're trying to do. And good luck!"

Shiv looked up from the book for the first time all day, blinked, and rubbed his eyes tiredly. He was helped up and led out of the store by the chattering merchant, who pushed a strange looking sandwich into his hands and shut the door behind Shiv with a merry jingle of the bell.

He stood there for several seconds, just staring at the door as he regained his bearings. Then he shook his head and yawned. He looked around the town for the wolf, half expecting it to be sitting patiently outside the store waiting for him. He saw with satisfaction that it was nowhere to be found. He walked down the stone road and munched on his sandwich with the book tucked under his arm. He reached the small house he had awoken in earlier and knocked on the doorframe while looking through the open doorway. "Hello? Shaggy Gray Quadruped? You in there?"

"Uriel is out doin' stuff." Fran said as she hobbled to the door. "Is there anythin' I can do for you?"

Shiv thanked her, but assured her that he was fine, and walked warily into the woods. He brushed his hands, having finished his sandwich, and began moving quickly and as quietly as he could through the darkening forest in search of something.

After half an hour, he found it. The sound of gurgling water drew him quickly to a cute little stream flowing rapidly down through a gorgeous clearing of decent size. He ran over to the water and stuck his face in it, took a drink and jerked his head out with hacking coughs. "Gah, water in my nose. And it's boiling hot. How does anyone live here?" He then stuck his head back in with a bit more reserve and drank his fill. Afterward, he undressed and started cleaning himself in the uncomfortable hot water. After a lot of scrubbing, he was satisfied with his work and hung his clothes from a nearby branch, all the while smacking grotesquely large bugs that seemed to appear out of thin air and multiply in search of his blood.

The sun slowly set, and he climbed a tree that had branches large enough to lie on, and laid his naked butt down with a sigh. "Maybe it'll cool down a bit at night." He muttered as he watched the branches sway in the muggy breeze. The clouds in the sky painted red and pink by the setting sun had otherworldly shapes to them, and seemed to move much faster than clouds on earth did. 'I never really paid attention to the clouds back home.' He realized with a pang of regret and longing as he swatted a dragonfly with a scorpion tail away from his face. "This place sucks!" He yelled at the sky and rolled over to watch the stream instead. Looking at the water and having just been looking at the clouds made him think of rain, and how that was always cold on earth. Maybe then he could get his much-desired relief from the heat if the clouds rapidly headed his way dropped some nice, cool rain? With that thought giving him some comfort, he closed his eyes and entered the land of nightmares.

He was standing next to the stream, and it was on fire. Everything was on fire. The trees were crackling and popping in the roaring fire. Everything was being destroyed. In the midst of this, a loud, familiar, slightly amused voice repeated "Destroy everything." Over, and over and over again. Slowly growing louder until the climax of the dream, when everything was leveled the ground itself started to burn away. Shiv looked at the sky in agony and the very clouds were being consumed.

Then he awoke. He sat up immediately, his chest heaving, his eyes wild. "What. The hell. Was that?" He whispered.

A familiar snorting sound from below drew his attention. He looked down to find a one-eyed boar chewing on his tattered shirt. He just stared in silence as the boar devoured his shirt and wandered away. When he judged an appropriate amount of time had passed, he yelled, "It's too hot to wear a shirt, anyway!" in the direction the boar had retreated in and climbed down to put his pants on. During the climb, he realized to his horror that he was covered in itchy, red bug bites. "I think I'm going to die." He said in an attempt to distract himself from the incredibly strong urge to scratch every square inch of his skin. "I'm really going to die."

And with that, he began working. First, he explored the surrounding area in the bright morning light, searching for specific plants he had identified in the book. He was surprisingly successful, and made sure to note their locations in his mind, so he could come back for them later.

Once he had found a suitable number of food-bearing plants, several of which he had picked and eaten for breakfast, he went back to the clearing and began removing the weeds and unwanted bushes. The task took the entire day, but he stuck to it with only a few breaks to drink the disgustingly hot water and wash away the never-ending waterfall of sweat rolling into his eyes.

That night, he looked at his work, and nodded grimly. "Farming here is completely different than it was on earth. At least there, I had tools and wasn't fighting for my life against monster bugs." With that, he washed himself and his pants, and made sure to hang them from a much higher branch before climbing back to his branch and laying his sore body down. As he relaxed, he suddenly remembered the nightmare he'd had the night before, and slowly drifted off with a strong hope that he wouldn't have the same nightmare again.

His hopes were dashed when he opened his eyes to the same scene as last night. Again, the voice repeatedly spoke the same words, and everything burned.

Waking up revealed more bug bites, and even a few bugs still on him. He annihilated them, then climbed down from the tree and stared at the weedless, plantless clearing in front of him. "No shirt-demolishing boars today." He noted, and began the day's work. He had to plow the field so he could plant the seeds from the plants he'd located. He toiled all day, working with his hands and a strong stick to dig the ruts and soften the bug-filled dirt as much as he could. He stopped at midday to take a breather, and realized he was completely covered in dirt and mud, and that consequently, the bugs were having a difficult time reaching his skin.

"It's gross, stinks, and looks horrible, but it's actually cooling me off a bit." Shiv commented, then began placing handfuls of mud on the remaining bare places on his skin. Then he got back to work, digging the holes and getting the place ready. But this time, he had to take a break much sooner due to the crashing noises that scared him up his tree. Just as he reached his bed-branch, a herd of massive animals that looked like earth deer, aside from the glowing red eyes and incredibly sharp points on the jagged antlers appeared. The very sight of the creatures terrified him, and he remained frozen on his branch for almost half an hour after they had left.

Finally, he was able to calm himself down and get back to work. Which he did with resignation. "Gah. Those suckers kicked dirt in some of my holes. Why does life here have to suck so much?" He complained as he dug the holes again and continued in his work.

Finally, he was finished.

"Boo!" The wolf shouted from behind him, "Did you really dig all that by hand?"

Shiv turned his nose up at the creature, "I didn't want to, and I knew that you weren't going to. I thought you were supposed to be my pet and follow me around everywhere. Why'd you leave?"

The wolf growled, "I am no-one's pet. I had some things to take care of. But it is funny that you dug that by hand instead of using your earth magic. You have quite a bit of gumption."

"What earth magic?" Shiv asked with narrowed eyes and a sinking feeling.

"I thought that I had found someone I could adventure with, but it turns out you are just an idiot." The wolf started walking away.

"What earth magic!" Shiv called after the retreating form, and stumbled after the wolf.

"Maybe you should go ask your pet," The wolf kept on walking, "It's innate magic, toddlers are able to use it before they can use their own legs. Figure it out or don't."

Shiv stopped walking and glared at the wolf's back. "Hey, Tooth Face, I'm from a planet that doesn't have magic. You're going to have to give me a bit more than 'figure it out' if you want me to use magic."

The wolf was now far enough away that he had to switch to mental communication, "Have you even tried yet?"

"What do you do to use magic?" Shiv yelled.

"Focus inwardly."

Shiv stopped and did so, and power welled up inside of him. He knelt and stuck his finger into the ground, and a hole formed in less than a second. "You mean to tell me… that it was this easy… this entire time, and you couldn't be bothered to tell me about it?" Shiv looked up from the hole with a dangerous look in his eyes. "I was told to destroy the world, so maybe I'll start with you!" He roared and started running after the already-out-of-reach wolf.