Off to Neverland!

"There's a Neverland waiting for you. Where all your happy dreams come true. Every dream that you dream will come true. When there's a smile in your heart there's no better time to start. Think of all the joy you'll find when you leave the world behind. And bid your cares goodbye. You can fly! you can fly!"

God I hate myself I thought that everything I went through was supposed to build my mental health

But it feels like all it did was take a sledgehammer to a door which was the pathways to all my life's gore.

What I would've given for it to have all been a bore but now when I like back at it all I can door is abhor.

How dare I look for such happiness and bliss when before he died I didn't even given my own father kiss.

How dare I ask for love from another when I couldn't even get a thing from my mother.

Where do I store the pain when it falls like rain but instead of water it's just the sound of my own name

Where do I put the sadness when there's people happier even though they had less.

What was the point of me even being here and even people younger than me can see it more clear

Everyone has a place in this world and someone to hold dear while I just take solace in the hope that one day death will finally come near.

Her beautiful voice and soft gentle touch is all I ask for really it's nothing much maybe to you but for me it's an unparalleled rush.

To be free of such an idea where truly I could be me.

Just to float in the never ending abyss without even a consciousness ahh how I long for such a bliss

To run away into a neverland when you never land.

Never land in the arms of the ones who were supposed to love you but only wanted to mug you.

Mug you of any happiness and use oh wait I think it's called abuse.

Neverland like I should've ran away to a place where I could stay and be happy without even having to play.

Neverland like it was all a dream a life where I was happy as a teen.

I want to fly fly fly away in the sky maybe that why I always got high.

To imagine a world where I had a family that loved me instead scars that would haunt me.

So what will it take for me to get to this neverland?

Will it be the magical pixie dust given by tinker bell and Peter Pan? No it's gonna be how my brain bursts when I squeeze this metal in hand.