webnovel

Death is the only ending I'm asking for.

I've finally gotten the courage to end my misery, to cease from existence. But, what? I'm stuck in a strange and unfamiliar situation. I'm asking for death and I'm not even able to have that? Whatever might be happening, my end goal is death and I'll definitely make it happen. * Author's note This is a villainess reincarnation novel but with huge twists all throughout. The female lead is bisexual so you may expect both male and female love interests. This book is about a suicidal character so please be aware and take a moment to think if you'd be alright with graphic descriptions of self harm. We'll also be venturing deep into different characters with different struggles and dynamic personalities. There's also going to be crime/thriller aspects going deeper into the storyline but I shall keep quiet about that before I let out any spoilers.

Trash_69 · Fantasía
Sin suficientes valoraciones
6 Chs

Comrade.

"Cassis Melford, you're not from this world are you?"

Cassis gives out a cheerful smile, incapable of repressing his overwhelming amusement, the wide smile prompts his eyes to form the shape of a half-moon. His hands on her shoulders are still intact but more gentle with the growing assurance.

"I'm not and you aren't either"

His reply is met with momentary silence from Evelyn.

This was definitely one of the possibilities behind the high priest not being mentioned in the novel. I expected such a possibility but I'm perplexed about what emotion I'm feeling. Why is it that I'm not feeling comfort or assurance? Rather, I'm feeling anxiety about the uncertain future of him not being able to answer my questions.

"I had a hunch that you might be, which led me to you. Something about the mystery surrounding you filled me with curiosity"

"I'm glad you're smart enough to seek me"

Cassis raises his eyebrows teasingly with a subtle shrug prompting Evelyn to let out an awkward laugh. She feels slightly uncomfortable with his overwhelming gaze of expectancy on her.

"Anyways, are you from the world I'm from? If so, which country? When did you end up here? Oh, and how did you end up here?-"

Cassis resides still with widened eyes, gaping at Evelyn.

"Oh, my bad… your brain's showing an error message, I'll ask one question at a time. Reboot please" Evelyn waves her hands in front of Cassis to bring him back from his zoning-out session.

"No, it's just that… It's an unusual feeling to be asked about my real self after two years of pretending to be someone I'm not. Embarrassing to admit but I almost forgot who I am"

Two years? That's way longer than my experience and I do not want to further imagine myself being stuck here for two fucking years.

"You were repressing your original self and wearing a facade to survive in this world? I've barely been doing that for a week and I'm exhausted. I can understand why you were delighted upon realising I'm not from here"

Cassis, hearing Evelyn's words of affirmation, raises his eyebrows.

"Are you reading my mind? Are you a mage? Are you god?"

"Yes I'm god, I'm so godly and omnipotent that I don't even believe God exists. That reminds me, are you actually that religious?"

"About that, I'm terribly sorry for overstepping your boundaries. I'm an atheist but I'm not certain anymore. If I've ended up in this bizarre situation, what are the likelihoods of such a being actually existing?"

"Chances are pretty high, there might be a god. I prefer the simulation theory though, what if we're inside of a system being controlled by multiple bananas?"

"Why bananas specifically?"

Cassie squints his eyes trying to decipher Evelyn's words.

"Would you rather prefer coconuts?"

"How about nuts?"

"Well not that far off from coconuts so it's alright, we're being controlled by nuts"

"Sounds bizarre but I can't deny the possibility considering what has happened. Also, what I did earlier was all a huge act to stop you from asking further questions. It usually works or at least drives people away"

"Well how fortunate, I was struggling with my strong will to step on you if you'd utter another word about asking forgiveness"

"Oh? Rather unfortunate, I should have kept going"

Cassis immediately replies, tilting his head slightly causing Evelyn to imitate his action and tilt her head as well.

"Have you ever seen how long these heels are? Noble women have such inconvenient attire"

Evelyn lifts her skirt and shoves her leg out to demonstrate.

"W-Well on second thoughts, maybe not." Cassis utters looking away.

"Oh, by the way, can you quit squeezing my shoulders? I'd rather prefer a massage but yeah"

Evelyn's gaze lands on his hands on her shoulders and Cassis's gaze follows right after. He stares at his hands for a second before pulling away in realization.

"I-I'm sorry, I didn't even realise" Cassis scratches the back of his head, unable to meet her gaze with embarrassment and guilt.

"Don't worry you won't catch a case, I'm not underaged"

Cassis relaxes at her joke, laughing out loud with relief but perplexed as to why he's feeling relieved.

"I feel comfort and reliance from the fact that we're able to converse with modern humour. It's almost as if I've finally met one of my people"

"Well, it's two people of a minority group meeting each other. There's almost no chance of us otherworldly uninvited guests being warmly welcomed here if we were to be truthful about our origins"

"That's exactly why I had to exert so much effort into concealing my identity. Oh well, before we continue our lengthy conversation, have a seat my lady"

Cassis politely motions towards the sofa with his hand.

"Oh please, take a break from the formalities and the class difference bullshit when it's just us both"

"Alright"

"My lady"

Cassis continues to be formal to slightly tease Evelyn.

"I fucking knew it"

Evelyn rolls her eyes and takes a seat on the sofa in front of Cassis calling out Cassis's childish behaviour.

"So, how did you end up here, Sir Cassis?"

Evelyn utters formally with a smirk, receiving a scoff from Cassis for her tit-for-tat response.

"My last recollection was arguing with my mother and leaving the house. I told her I do not want to see her face ever again."

Cassis takes a quick glimpse at Evelyn's face to catch her judging him when in reality her expression is quite indifferent.

"I asserted that in the heat of the moment. I was crammed with regret and guilt afterwards."

Cassis continues to explain himself even though he saw no judgment in Evelyn's eyes regarding his behaviour.

"Getting drunk to divert myself caused me to pass out. The moment I woke up, I ended up here."

He lets out a deep sigh before continuing.

"I genuinely hate the fact that those were my last words and I don't want them to be my last"

"So you want to go back and let her know you didn't mean it… Well, let's figure out how to get back but most importantly, did you just say that you passed out and woke up here?"

I'm quite stunned. He didn't die, he just woke up here. Was it different for me? Did I really die when I tried killing myself or did I just pass out?

"Yup, I thought I was high until I figured all of this is real, what about you? Was it different?"

Evelyn persists in silence for a few seconds pondering on how she should answer.

"I got into an accident and woke up here, one thing I clearly remember was the immense amount of blood on the road"

"That sounds terrible"

"My expert opinion is that drowning is worse. I tried killing myself to see what would occur but unfortunately, I keep going back to when I woke up here"

"Wait, you tried killing yourself? I'd work up the courage but end up chickening out"

"Well understandable, humans are naturally scared of death"

"For sure, I was so scared I'll dissapear from existence. I don't want to lose my only chance of going back to my family. Were you not scared?"

I don't feel comfortable enough to tell him I'm suicidal. His goals are different from mine yet we need to take the same journey back to our original life. How would he react to me saying I don't want to exist anymore? I can't be sure he'd understand my point of view. I'd have to make him suppose we're on the same boat to work together.

"I didn't have the capability to worry. I just badly wished to go back to my original life. Evelyn isn't the best character to transmigrate into either"

"Being a villainess does sound like a pain"

"Well at least we figured out that you'd probably go back in time if you do, isn't that valuable information?"

'Hm, hiding your emotions and changing the topic...'

Cassis nods but a crease forms on Evelyn's forehead from sudden realization.

We don't have much in common so why us… It would all make sense if he had read the novel as well but should I ask him that or be vague?

"Why do you think we've ended up here? Like, why us?"

Cassis gazes away in profound thought and abruptly glimpses back at Evelyn.

"You read the novel, didn't you?"

"Oh thank goodness, I was wondering how I would explain such a bizarre phenomenon. More importantly, how far into the novel are you?"

"Well… I kind of… only read until the moment they enroll in the academy"

"What? You're useless, even I know more than that"

Evelyn utters laughing at him mockingly.

"No no hold on, I haven't yet shown you the card I'm holding under my sleeves"

"A card?"

Evelyn inquires walking towards Cassis, she then proceeds to open up the wide sleeves on his cloak. Unable to see anything inside his sleeves, she covers her head with his sleeves to take a better look.

"W-What are you doing?"

Cassis asks frozen on the spot.

"Trying to find the card"

Evelyn's muffled voice reaches out as she has fully submerged her head inside the huge sleeve trying to find the 'card'.

"Are you aware of something called a figure of speech?…"

The room is filled with silence for a few minutes till Evelyn abruptly backs away.

"W-What do you mean card… I-I was smelling your armpit"

"HUH- Isn't that worse?"

"S-So what's this card you have under your sleeves? Prove to me that you're useful"

"What a smooth change of topic, you're quite skilled at that"

Evelyn avoids eye contact to disapprove his claim.

"Okay listen, was someone called the high priest ever mentioned in the novel?"

"I was concerned about that as well. You've become such a powerful figure, how is it possible that you're not mentioned in the book? Is it because you're not from this world and that led to you making different decisions?"

"Correct, Cassis is actually a commoner. The moment I realised this world is from a novel I've read, I reached out to the church. I came up with prophecies using my knowledge of the book. I wasn't believed at first until my prophecies came true"

"Basically, you're a scammer"

"Oh, C'mon. You're hurting my feelings"

"Just kidding, smart move in achieving authority and power but how would that be of any help to me?"

"Well, what if I told you that I started seeing real prophecies?"

Evelyn's eyes widen with this new piece of information that her usual self would call bullshit.

"I can see the future"

We're getting closer to the true plotline. Added bits of humour to help lighten the heaviness of the story. Hope you all liked the Cassis-Evelyn dynamic.

Trash_69creators' thoughts