THE CONTROVERSIAL GRADES

JAESUNG

4 Months Later…

Jae Yon and I became busy due to the extracurricular activities we joined. Jae Yon's training for the varsity team becomes strict when they lose a game against another school. Their coach wants them to be disciplined and responsible players. Me, I became busy due to the art club I joined. They always give a lot of tasks rather than our subject teachers.

That's the reason why Jae Yon and I rarely meet at school. We still always go to school and home together.

Today is the day where our homeroom teachers will announce the result of our grades. I am nervous now since I had a lot of missed classes from the past months. Also, my activities are always late the reason I always receive low points.

"Aren't you nervous?" I asked Jae Yon while he's looking on the road.

"Of course. I know that my grades are low and my parents will be going to scold me. Definitely." He answered my question.

"You know what, I realized that we must learn how to manage our time for academic and extracurricular activities. I noticed that we gave our attention to those non-academic activities while we let those requirements be missed." He added that made me think about it. He's right. When we enter our designated organizations, we forgot to value our academic performance. We're always absent an excuse which makes me realize that attendance and class participation has a contribution to our grades.

"What if your mom scolds you for having bad grades?" I asked him again.

"Well for my perception, having bad grades aren't the basis of one person's knowledge because some people excel in extracurricular activities, right?"

"You're right"

"Are you worried about receiving bad grades?"

"Of course. I need to have high grades this quarter so I can be qualified for the medicine courses. I will request reconsideration. I want to help other people as well especially the elder ones"

"What if you wouldn't qualify?" A moment of silence starts while we are still walking going to our school.

"I don't know what to do. I know that I am capable of being a doctor. I am just bad on some subjects" I replied. Jae Yon stopped walking and he looked into my eyes while holding my hands.

"You know what, you can still help other people even if you're not a doctor. You can still help other people in so many ways. Keep that in your mind, okay?" He said and he gave me a tight hug that makes me warm.

"I am always here to support you no matter what happens. We will be together until the end. We will reach our dreams." He added. I left his embrace and look at him.

"Thank you for always making my worries vanish. Thank you for always making me comfortable and stress-free. I don't know how to pay your kindness." He touches my face and stretched my cheeks.

"Just smile. That would be the greatest compensation for me." He said that makes me smile widely.

"Let's go now. We might be late and our teachers will mark us as absent" Jae Yon and I continued walking towards our classroom. I am worried earlier but now, I feel loved and comfortable again…

~*~

After our grade announcement, the teacher gave us a copy of our grades and the school heads announced that the class will be shortened due to the meeting of the teachers. I am walking out of school and heading to the bus station with Jae Yon who's currently eating corn dogs as of the moment.

"Jaesung" he calls my name while I am looking to the students who are also going home now to celebrate their achievement of having good grades.

"What if we celebrate today? Let's try auditioning for LC Entertainment. Today is their last audition for new trainees." He spoke.

"Oh, the one that was offered by a stranger months ago?" I asked him and he nodded.

"You know what Jae Yon, I am not really interested in becoming an idol. I dreamed to be a doctor. Nothing else, just only to be a doctor." I replied to him.

"There will be nothing to lose if we just audition. If we didn't get into the list of trainees, at least we tried?" He insisted.

"It's just only your dream. What do I need to audition as well? I can only just accompany you in the audition though"

"I want to share the opportunity with you because that's how a friendship works. Helping each other." He responded that touches my heart. Jae Yon is really sweet and not selfish…

"I will accompany you later but I am not going to audition. There are things we can't force because it's not meant for us" I replied to him and we get onto the bus.

~*~

I finally arrived home. When I opened the door of our house, my mom surprises me that makes me startled.

"What are you doing behind the door, Dad?" I questioned him while my eyes are widening.

"I am about to put these wet clothes in the backyard to make them dry. I am waiting for you as well. How are your grades?" He asked. I opened my bag to get a piece of paper containing my grades. I close the door of our house and went inside our house.

"What grade are these? What the heck, Jaesung. You will not be a doctor anymore like you dreamed to be. Why don't you imitate your cousins and make them role models to have good grades? We're just wasting our money on your inefficient studies." My dad screamed at me after looking at my grades. My eyes become teary at this point.

I am an only child the reason I need to meet his expectations or else, he will just compare me with other people especially my cousins. He's the one who wants me to become a doctor as well. When my grandmother died, he told me that he wants me to become a doctor and he will be hundred percent proud of me when I reached it so it got stuck in my mind that I need to be a doctor someday.

During his teenage life, he dreamed to be a doctor as well. Sadly, he didn't finish his pre-medicine course due to circumstances so he passed his dreams and obligation to me.

I was supposed to have a little sister when mom had a miscarriage and the doctor announced that they won't be able to have a child again. I feel the pressure that I need to meet my father's expectations because I don't know if he feels proud of my little achievements when I was young.

If you're going to ask me, I prefer arts rather than medicine. My mom knows that the reason she's always pursuing me is to become an idol like Jae Yon's dream. I know how to dance, sing, act, and I do really love film and photography. When I was young, I always received certification in arts and I forgot it when my dad told me that I have nowhere to go with that path.

My mom went in our direction. "What's happening here?"

"Your son has bad grades that don't qualify to take a medicine course. What a waste"

"Watch your words. So, what now if he has bad grades? Is it a dead-end for him to be successful someday?"

"Stop tolerating your child with nonsense stuff. That's the reason why he's taking it for granted" At this point, I started sobbing.

"Never in my existence, you became proud of me. You didn't know my hurdles in school just to get those grades. You didn't bother to ask me what I want to be. All you know is to push me with the dream you didn't accomplish due to your shitty circumstances" I got shocked when my dad slapped me.

"Don't ever talk to me as if you're not living here. Whatever you have and wherever you are right now is because of me. You're just my son, stick that in your mind" and he pointed out my temple using his finger.

"Someday, you're going to eat what you've said and you will be proud of my own achievements," I said and I ran out of our house. I am just running right now while crying. I don't care about those people who could see me. I want to run away from expectations and pressure. I want to be free.

"Ouch!" I got stumble when I bumped with someone.

"Hey, why are you crying?" I heard a familiar voice and I looked in the direction where it came from.

I stand up and hug the person and began crying again.

"I know you're not okay. What happened?" Jae Yon asked while rubbing my back. The person who truly knows and understands me is now finally here.