CHAPTER 21

GAANO ba kahirap ang magpaalam sa taong mahal mo? Hindi malaman ni Donnie Marie kung paano niya sasabihin kay Dasher ang kanyang napipintong paglayo. Yes, she's decided to stay away from him for good. She didn't deserve him. Dahil ang tanging kaya lamang niyang ibigay kay Dasher ay puro gulo at kapahamakan.

She could never undo her past. Alam na sa buong Pilipinas ang pagkatao niya. Mystique Agent has been out in the open. She smiled bitterly. Batid niyang nagtitipon tipon na ang mga taong nasagasaan niya sa kanyang mga naging trabaho dati para paghigantihan siya.

Ex-mayor Daguio has already started. Hindi na niya kailangan pang maghintay ng kagaya nito para paghigantihan siya. At kung may isang bagay man siyang hindi niya mapapayagang mangyari, iyon ay ang madamay si Dasher sa mga gulong kasasangkutan niya.

She's never been afraid of her own life. Alam naman niyang sa huli ay mamamatay din siya. Kaya nga wala siyang pinayagang makalapit sa kanya, diba? Para sa oras na dumating ang araw na kailangan na niyang umalis, no one would be hurt. It wouldn't be hard for her too.

Humigpit ang pagkakahawak niya sa nakatiklop na papel. It was her letter for Dasher—her love letter. She stared at her letter with teary eyes. Sa sulat na iyon ay sinabi niya ang lahat ng nais niyang iparating dito. She'd professed her love for him. She'd apologized and thanked him for everything he's done for her.

Napatingin siya sa bed side table. Lumapit siya at marahang inilapag doon ang liham na ginawa niya. She heaved a heavy sigh. It would be her last goodbye. There's no coming back. Naglakad siya patungo sa pinto. Lumabas siya, diretso sa harap ng pinto ni Dasher.

Ilang sandali siyang napatitig sa pinto bago niya nagawang iangat ang kanyang kamao upang kumatok roon. She willed herself to smile even if her heart was dying inside her. When Dasher opened the door, she almost burst into tears. Sa halip ay pinalawak niya ang kanyang ngiti. Rumehistro ang pagkagulat sa mukha ni Dasher.

"Donnie Marie? What's wrong?" nag-aalalang tanong nito.

"I c-can't sleep," nahihiyang sagot niya.

Napabuntong-hininga ito. "Everything's going to be fine, trust me."

"Can I come in?" she asked apprehensively.

He froze. "O-of course you can. Halika," kunwa'y yakag nito sa kanya sa loob. "Maupo ka muna rito. Would you like something to drink?" alok nito sa kanya.

Pinaupo siya nito sa sofa na nasa bandang gilid ng maluwang na kwarto nito. It was near the window, kaya naman tanaw niya ang maliwanag na buwan at mga bituin sa kalangitan.

Mataman niyang pinagmasdan si Dasher habang kumukuha ito ng maiinom nila sa ref na nasa bandang dulo ng mini bar sa loob ng kwarto nito. Her eyes couldn't leave him. Nais niyang punuin ang kanyang isip ng mga alaala nito. His eyes, his hands, his smile, his snort, even his sigh—lahat ng iyon ay mami-miss niya. She ducked her head to hide the glistening of her eyes.

"Sweetie..." nahihirapang anas ni Dasher. Ni hindi niya napansing nasa tabi na pala niya ito. Marahan nitong hinawakan ang mga kamay niya at tsaka pinisil iyon.

"T-thank you for everything," she whispered.

Biglang sagot ay niyakap siya nito. She closed her eyes to savor his touch. Napakahirap naman ng sitwasyon niya. She hugged him back. Sobrang higpit. Ayaw na niya itong pakawalan pa. Kahit ngayong gabi lang. Because after that night, she would leave him forever. Ngunit hindi siya bastang aalis sa buhay nito. She needed something that would make her survive those coming sleepless nights of her lonely life.

Isang bagay na alam niyang magpapatibay sa kanya sa kanyang pag-alis—magpapatibay sa pagharap niya sa panibagong buhay na kakaharapin niya at magbibigay sa kanya ng mga alaalang babaunin niya hanggang sa kanyang pagtanda at pagkawala sa mundo. She would give herself to him. Ibibigay niya ang kanyang sarili ng kusa at ng buong pagmamahal. Nais niyang ipadama rito ang kanyang pagmamahal sa kahuli-hulihang pagkakataon.

"Kiss me," she whispered. "Make love to me and make me a woman."

Dasher's eyes dilated a fraction. "W-what?"

"Please..." she begged.

"W-what are you talking about?" hindi makapaniwalang iling nito. Nang mapansin nitong seryoso siya ay bigla itong napalunok. He held her gaze. "Are you sure?" bulong nito.

"I want this," mariin niyang sagot.

"Y-you're just depressed," iling nito.

"Are you turning me down?" nasasaktang anas niya.

"What? Of course not! God, no! How could I turn you down? Alam mo ba kung gaano ko kagustong angkinin ka? It's killing me, sweetie," he whispered huskily.

"Then why won't you make love to me?"

"Sweetie..."

It's now or never! She wouldn't let him turn her down. So she grabbed his neck and kissed him. Bakit ba ayaw nitong angkinin siya? Hindi niya matanggap na tinanggihan siya nito.

"Stop it," nahihirapang wika ni Dasher matapos siya nitong maitulak palayo.

Nanlaki ang mga mata niya sa ginawa nito. Oh my, what had she done? Napayuko siya. Then she felt hot liquid run down her cheeks. Ano ba naman, Donnie Marie! Ipinahiya ka na nga, iiyak ka pa sa harap niya? Magtira ka naman ng kahit konting kahihiyan!

"S-sweetie, please stop crying. It's not what—"

"I'm going," asik niya. She angrily rose from the sofa.

"No, please. Mag-usap muna tayo," pigil nito sa kanya. Hinawakan siya nito sa kamay ngunit pumiksi siya. Napatayo na rin ito. "Dammit, Donnie Marie! Why are you being like this?"

"Siraulo ka pala eh! Tinaggihan mo na ako, diba? Edi aalis na ako!" naiinis niyang sigaw.

"Ikaw ang siraulo. Hindi nga sabi kita tinanggihan! Kung alam mo lang kung gaano ko kagustong gawin ang gusto mong ipagawa sa'kin," ganting-sigaw nito.

"Then why can't you do it?"

"Dahil gusto ko munang malaman ang rason kung bakit mo gustong gawin natin ito! I want to talk to the Donnie Marie I used to know. Hindi iyong kausap ko ngayon na hindi nag-iisip. Now tell me, why do you want us to do this?" naghahamong tanong nito.

Napipilan siya. She nervously balled her fists and bit her lip.

"See? Hindi ka makasagot. Ayokong gawin natin ang isang bagay na maaaring pagsisihan mo kinabukasan," masuyo nitong paliwanag.

"I would never regret giving myself to you."

"Why?"

Nag-angat siya ng ulo at pinakatitigan ang mga mata nito. "Because I love you."

Something unimaginable shone into Dasher's eyes when he heard her answer. Napasinghap siya nang bigla siya nitong saklitin sa bewang. He drew her close to him as if no air couldn't pass through them. Then he held her gaze.

"Bakit ngayon mo lang iyan sinabi?" nakangiting tanong nito.

And before she could answer, his lips covered hers in a fiery kiss that made her breathless. Awtomatikong pumulupot ang kanyang mga kamay sa leeg nito, para bang sa pamamagitan noon ay makakakuha ng lakas ang kanyang nanlalambot na mga tuhod.

Dasher's kiss was raw and wanton. Malalim ang mga halik nito, kumpara sa mga naunang halik na iginawad nito sa kanya noon. His skillful lips sucked all her sweetness. She willingly opened her lips and gave into his kisses. A soft moan escaped her lips.

A few moments later, she felt his hot tongue delve inside her mouth. She gasped at his bold intrusion. Her eyes widened when his tongue touched hers. And before she knew it, she was loving the intensity of their kiss. Where their tongues were duelling with each other. Where their lips were busy sipping the sweetness out of each other.

Naramdaman niya ang marahang pagbaba ni Dasher sa kanya. Paano sila nakarating sa kama nito? Hindi siya makapaniwala. To think that they hadn't even broken their kiss. She flippantly pushed him away. Napatigil ito sa paghalik at nagtatakang napatitig sa kanya. Damn, his eyes were smoking hot—burning her quivering body with his searing desire.

Namumungay ang mga mata nitong titig na titig pa rin sa mga labi niya. He was panting like crazy, and so did she. Napalunok siya. His eyes held promises of heaven and ecstasy. How could she think of stopping him? Her mind was a fool, mocked her body aching with need.

"P-paano tayo nakapu—"

"Making love," he whispered as he cut her words. "...needs no talking, sweetie."

At bago pa man ulit siya makapagsalita ay kinain na ng kanyang pagsinghap ang kanyang protesta nang biglang dumampi ang mainit na mga labi nito sa kanyang leeg. He kissed her neck as if he were a vampire sucking blood from his prey. Only, he wasn't a vampire, though he really was sucking her neck, gently, fervently. A soft moan escaped her mouth.

"You're so sweet," anas nito habang pinaliliguan ng mumunting mga halik ang leeg niya.

His lips grazed at the hollow of her throat, gaining another throaty moan from her. Suddenly, he stopped. Bahagaya itong lumayo sa kanya at tsaka hinuli ang nagtatanong niyang mga mata. She sucked in her breath when his forefinger stroked her sensitive neck. Whilst his finger travelled, his lips travelled too. Ah, his torturous jaunt made her squirm like crazy.

She bit her lip when his hot mouth reached her left mound. Pakiramdam niya ay nasusunog ang manipis niyang damit dahil sa nagbabagang halik nito. He softly kissed her mound, over the thin fabric of her t-shirt, over and over again.

Sa kabila ng damit na pumapagitan sa mga labi nito at sa kanyang dibdib ay hindi niya mapigilang panginigan dahil sa init na hatid ng mga halik nito. His other hand covered her right mound, kneading, caressing it until she arched her body with aching need—need that she didn't know her body craved for.

"D-Dasher..." she whimpered.

Hindi sumagot si Dasher. Instead, his hand crept under her blouse and caressed her mound over her brassiere. Mariin siyang napapikit. She felt like exploding right at that moment. Ngunit mas malala pa pala sa pagsabog ang mararamdaman niya nang maramdaman niya ang pag-alis nito sa kanyang saplot. Once again, she was shocked.

How in the sam hill did he get her out of her clothes?

"Perfect!" hindi makapaniwalang bulalas nito habang pinagmamasdan ang kanyang kahubdan. Napatigil ito sa ginagawa at bahagyang lumayo sa kanya upang pagmasdan siya. When she tried to cover her self, his hands flew over hers and stopped her. "Please, don't," he pleaded. "You are too beautiful and too perfect to be shy, sweetie."

"D-Dasher!" nanghihilakbot na saway niya rito. "P-please don't look at me like that."

"Like what?" he asked in his naughty voice.

"L-like..."

"Like I wanted to eat you?" he smirked. "Yes, sweetie. I want to do just like that."

After saying that, his hungry mouth once again found her twinsies. She stifled a cry when his lips finally closed over her struggling nipple—he sucked like a hungry baby, his other hand kneaded like crazy and he made her quiver like her body wanted to explode.

Mariin siyang napapikit. She felt like crying. She could feel his love for her in his every touch, every kiss. Lahat ng mga bagay na ipinapadama nito sa kanya ay nagpaparamdam sa kanya kung gaano siya nitong iniingatan, iniri-respeto. She would cherish every single minute of that night—forever. Habang nagpapaubaya siya rito ay may napagtanto siya.

So, this is what other people call as love...

A tear escaped from her left eye. She loved this man who was doing wondrous things on her body—she loved him with all her heart. Handa siyang ipaubaya ang lahat sa kanya sa lalaking ito. For she trusted him with all her life. Sa kanyang kahubdan, sa oras kung saan siya pinakamahina, ay handa siyang iaalay ang katawan at buhay niya sa lalaking ito ng walang pag-aalinlangan—dahil alam niyang iniri-respeto siya nito at hindi siya nito pababayaan.

Hindi niya alam kung paano ulit nangyari ngunit nang magmulat siya ng mga mata ay pareho na silang walang saplot. His tender touches had stopped. Kaya napamulat siya at napatingin rito. He was staring at her too.

"I will never hurt you, sweetie," he whispered.

"I know," she whispered back. "Love me back, Dasher. Please love me back," she pleaded. He answered her pleading with a sweet smile.

And then he started kissing her again. This time, mas masuyo, mas matagal at mas matiim ang halik nito. While his lips were busy kissing her mouth, his hands travelled down her mound and kneaded it again. Akala niya ay magtatagal ulit ito doon. Until his hand travelled lower, until it reached her flat stomach. She quirmed at his touch.

Hanggang sa muling gumalaw ang kamay nito at naglakbay pa ulit pababa...pababa pa....hanggang sa dako pa roon. When his hand reached her core in between her shaking thighs, she gasped—loud enough to make him know how surprised she was. Pagkatapos ng ilang segundong pagkakatigil ay lalo nitong pinagbuti ang paghalik sa kanya.

And his hands continued its frenzy caress. She closed her eyes, so tight that it almost made her eyes bleed. Napabaling-baling ang kanyang ulo mula sa kanan, kaliwa at patingala. Hindi niya mawari kung ano ang gagawin niya.

"D-dasher..." she cried out as if in pain because of too much pleasure.

When he felt like she was running out of breath, he stopped. He gazed at her. There was something in his eyes that made her eyes misty. Hindi pagnanasa ang nababanaag niya sa mga mata nito. No, it was stronger than that. There was desire but there was also warmth in his eyes. His stare made her feel like the most beautiful woman on earth. And the satisfied and proud smile that tugged his lips made her heart swell from love.

With that look in his eyes, she fell in loved with him again. Nang pumwesto ito sa ibabaw niya ay hindi lamang isang matamis na ngiti ang mababanaag sa kanyang mukha—there was also pride—sapagkat batid niyang ipagkakaloob niya ang kanyang sarili sa isang lalaking mahal niya. Her hands snaked around his neck and pulled him towards her. Then she cupped his face.

"I love you, Dasher," she whispered. Bago pa man ito makasagot ay hinila na niya ito upang hagkan itong muli. Sinagot nito ang pag-amin niya sa pamamagitan ng isang nag-aalab na halik. Then, he entered her. At first, it was like hell. Impyerno sa sakit, kaya napaigik talaga siya.

"Hush sweetie, I'll never hurt you, promise," paulit ulit nitong sambit. "Be still and let me it. Then the hurt will go away. You are the most beautiful woman I have ever met. You have the sweetest smile, the sexiest eyes and the freshest lips in this planet."

Then he rained little kisses all over her face. Paunti-unti niyang nakalimutan ang sakit dahil sa magagandang mga bagay na sinasabi nito sa kanya. His touch, his words, his kisses, everything he did made the pain go away. Kaya nang muli itong gumalaw ay nagulat siya dahil imbes na sakit ay kakaibang pakiramdam na ang humalili roon.

From hell, she was transported to heaven. It was crazy. Hell, the feeling was heavenly crazy! His room was surrounded by their breathless moans. Ah, wala na siyang pakialam sa maaaring mangyari sa kanya kinabukasan. Sapat na sa kanya ang gabing kapiling niya ito.

Masaya na siyang baunin ang mga alaala ng kanilang pag-iisa, sakali mang makaligtas siya bukas. She hugged him tight while he kissed her passionately. She would never let go of the memories she had with him. She would cherish that day when she gave her everything to him—until the day she died. She would definitely make that night unforgettable.