41. Chapter 41

When seven o'clock rolls past them, Castle takes out his phone and texts Kate to warn her that the boys are still at the arcade; he attaches video of Dashiell playing a race car game, scooted way up in the seat and stretching one leg down to the pedal, hunched over the wheel.

Surprisingly, the noise and the people haven't overwhelmed him yet. Kate messages him back with a reminder that when Dash gets hungry, he gets mean. That's true. Castle starts scanning the area for Austin, Tate and Graham's father, hoping to start the process of leaving.

He finds Graham first, playing a dance revolution kind of game, his feet flying, his pants sagging. He's holding them up with one hand, eyes intent on the screen showing him the next steps, and Castle laughs, holding his phone up to record that for Kate too.

Jeez. A few days in the condo with her and now he can't stop thinking about her. Like he's back to that first couple years following her around, eager to make a good impression and trying his best to make her laugh.

After thirty seconds of recording, he realizes that Dashiell is probably teetering on the edge of a major meltdown if they don't get the kids out of here and get some food in them. He maybe has snacks in the bag - oh, nope, he didn't bring the kids' bag. Darn.

Castle stops recording, checks to make sure Dash is still playing ski-ball, then roams a little ways to look for Austin.

He spots the man talking impatiently with Tate, bent over, not in his face. He remembers Austin's warning about not touching Tate, not even a friendly hand on the shoulder. He sees that Austin is being careful to even keep out of Tate's direct line of sight. Tate doesn't look so happy; he's gesturing to a video game that another boy is playing.

Austin carefully maneuvers Tate - all without touching him - until he can't see the game anymore. After a few more long seconds, Tate's shoulders seem to droop, relax.

Interesting. He's learning a lot here. Novel fodder, of course. Not a Nikki Heat, but the new one. The one he hasn't told Kate about yet.

If James Patterson and John Grisham can do it, so can he.

Castle signals Austin to get his attention, then glances back at his son. Dashiell has climbed up the ramp with a wooden ball in his hand, like a monkey, and is hanging on to the net fixed over the rings. Dash chucks the ball at the top ring - the highest score - and the ball hits the lip of the plastic ring and bounces back.

Into Dash's face.

Castle darts to him, catching the boy around the waist and grabbing him off the incline, twisting him around to see his face.

Fine. It's fine.

He breathes again. No harm. No broken nose either (which is what he was imagining there).

"Dashiell, you can't climb on the ramp. The point is to softball toss it up there, underhand you know? See what you can get from back down here."

"But it's too hard," he whines, squirming in his father's grip.

Castle lets him drop back to the floor, searches around for the wooden ball. It bounced and rolled over to the basketball free throw game, so he scoops it up to keep a kid from stepping on it. He skis it up the ramp and scores at the top ring, turns to face Dashiell's already mounting fury.

"Daddy! My game!"

"Just helping you out, kiddo. I think it's time we go get dinner, anyway."

"I only have two more left! I want to score up there. Help me, Daddy."

"Buddy, I don't know that-"

"Daddy, help me score. I need the top ring. It has to go in." Dashiell grabs another wooden ball out of the slot and cocks his arm to throw it overhand; Castle neatly takes it out of his grip and wraps an arm around Dashiell's shoulders to stay him.

"Okay. I'll help. Just. Not like this, wild man."

Castle adjusts Dashiell's stance, helps him practice hand over hand, arm swinging, getting into the rhythm of it. After a few minutes, Dash's impatience starts to spike, so Castle grabs his wrist.

"Okay, we'll swing our arm a few times to get it going and then, when I say 'Go' you have to let go of the ball. Get it?"

"Got it," Dashiell murmurs.

"Good." He grins to himself, can't help it, and then starts swinging Dashiell's arm with his. "One, two, three - go!"

Dashiell releases perfectly and the ball slides straight up in a shot, lifts over the bottom rings and catches right at the top ring, spins around the lip, round and round, dizzying, and then drops.

Out. Rolls down to the bottom ring where it disappears.

"Daddy! So-so, sooooo close! Look how close I got!"

Oh whew, thank goodness. Apparently that was good enough for Dashiell on his first try. Less Beckett in him than they thought. Castle grins at his son, opening his arms for a chest bump. Dashiell rockets into him, bouncing off with a giggle.

"You did such a great job, Dashiell. You aimed just right and you let go at just the right spot."

"I did good." Dashiell's face beams, and he bounces on his toes, then grabs his father's hand and jumps up and down, springy. "One more, Daddy."

"Okay, buddy, one more. Then dinner time."

Castle goes through it all over again, and this time when Dash releases, the ball drops in just below the top ring, still a good score. It's Dashiell's last ball anyway, and the machine starts spitting out tickets like crazy, piling them in the floor in a long red rope. Dash shrieks and lifts up one end, jumps up and down, spinning the tickets around like a jump rope.

"Daddy! Look at how good I did! Look at all these tickets!" Dash spins around, draping himself with tickets; the machine stops whirring, and he comes to the end. "Mommy's gonna be so proud."

With a grin to himself, Castle leans over to tear them off, hands them to his son. "All right. Dinner."

"I have to get something with my tickets! I have tons!"

"How about we save your tickets and come back later in the week with the rest of our family? Then you can have even more tickets, and with more tickets, you can trade them in for bigger prizes."

"Oooh, Daddy. You're a genius."

Castle laughs and bends down, scoops the kid up. The tickets trail off into the floor, so Castle starts folding them up awkwardly, juggling Dash as he does (if he lets the kid down, Dash will get sucked into some other game and they'll never get him out in this good a mood). Castle's phone vibrates in his pocket, and Austin chooses that moment to approach with Tate following behind him.

Tickets folded up, Castle places them in Dashiell's cargo shorts pocket, then glances to Austin. "So, dinner?"

"Definitely. Tate's about to crash-"

"This one, too." Castle looks back to the dance video game; Graham is gone. "Where's Graham?"

"I texted him. He said he'll meet us at the front doors."

"Good. Oh, let me check my phone." Castle pulls his phone out of his pocket; it's from Kate.

Where are you? Meet for dinner?

"Kate's asking if we want to all meet up for dinner somewhere. Have any ideas?" Castle starts moving for the front doors; Dashiell is leaning his cheek against his father's shoulder, arms tight. Just beginning to feel the effects of overstimulation.

"There's a great fried fish place. Your kids okay with that?" Austin signals to Tate; they walk at Castle's side.

Castle glances at Dashiell. "Think so. Any chicken strips? Anything grilled?" Kate doesn't eat fried anything hardly anymore, and honestly, he probably shouldn't either.

"Yeah, sure, they grill it too. And Tate gets the chicken fingers there."

When the doors push open under Castle's hand, the warm late evening air washes over him. Already he feels cleaner, more relaxed. He wonders what a place like that must cost Dashiell in energy; the boy never complains about it (he loves video games too much), but Dash is drooping against his father like he's tapped out.

For that matter, Tate looks edgy as he walks behind them, off to one side as if he can't bear to see them.

Castle glances around, spots Graham getting up from where he'd been sitting on the sidewalk, waiting.

"I'll call Kate and let her know."

"Good. It's Louie's Backyard. Vickie knows how to get to it. It's in South Padre though, so they'll have to wait on us."

Castle grins. "Let 'em wait."

When Castle and her son walk out onto the patio of the restaurant, her heart flips over in her chest. Like she's seeing him - them - for the first time in ages. Maybe it's the proud look on Dashiell's pale face that echoes the proud look on his father's, maybe it's the way Rick's eyes seek her out. Looking for her.

Maybe it's just spending a few hours away from him after having him so close for these last few days. She missed him. Misses him. Castle.

Ug. Seriously? Yeah, this is who she is now. Get used to it. Because she does miss him; she misses him at work with her, his ideas bouncing around the room, making it fun again. He makes everything fun.

Vickie was interesting and enjoyable this afternoon; her daughter, Claire, is clever and entertaining. But Rick is. . .he just adds this element to everything, an element of fun, yes, but something else she can't express.

Dashiell runs to Kate, brown eyes happy and joyful, weaving through tables to get to her. She embraces him back, pulls him up into her lap to kiss him. He wriggles to get down immediately, but he's got a wad of red in his hand, holding it out to her.

"What's that, baby?"

"Look at my tickets! Daddy teached me ski-ball and I did good!"

"Daddy taught you ski-ball and you did *very* well, wow. Good job, Dash."

Rick beams at her; he always loves it when she corrects Dashiell's grammar, repeating back his own statements in the right way. She rolls her eyes at Castle - always a writer - but she's grinning. Castle leans in and kisses her forehead, then moves to Ellery.

They've been sitting at the table with Vickie and Claire for the last ten minutes, the girls coloring with crayons on the children's menus. Castle pulls out the chair between Kate and Ella while Austin sits between Graham and Tate on the other side of the round table. Vickie is on Kate's left, but Dashiell worms between his parents and they end up dragging a chair over for him.

She half-listens to Dashiell report on their afternoon playing video games, the rest of her attention on Castle as he patiently interrogates their daughter. Trying to get her to talk. Ellery's back to giving nods and winning smiles instead of words, but Rick runs his fingers over the crown of her head, kisses her cheek, praises her coloring.

Such a good daddy. He's not serious about having a third, is he? She didn't think so, but he keeps jokingly bringing it up and. . .

No. Surely not.

Three? That's asking for trouble.

Kate brings her attention back to Dashiell, reaches out to take the tickets from him. "Yeah, baby, I'll put them in your bag so you don't lose them."

"Thanks, Mommy. Can I have fish sticks? Daddy says I'll like fish sticks."

"Sure."

"I don't see hot sauce. Is there hot sauce? I don't think I'll like fish sticks without hot sauce."

"I brought some," Kate says, reaching for the bag under her chair. "I knew you'd want it."

"Mommy, you're a genius!"

She laughs as she unzips the bag, dumps his tickets inside, looks for the hot sauce. "Of course I am." Where did he hear that one?

"Hey, now. Dash, you said *I* was a genius," Castle says, leaning in from the other side. "Who's the real genius?"

"Can't you both be geniuses?" Dashiell grumbles, tilting his head to look at his father.

"No," they both say.

Dashiell startles, glancing back to his mother, then to his father. "No?"

Kate grins at Castle over her son's head. "I guess we can. Just different kinds of genius."

Dash frowns at that, speculating on the nature of genius, she guesses, and he reaches up to scratch at his forehead.

Kate grabs his fingers. "No, baby. Don't scratch your stitches."

"They itch."

"They're gonna itch for awhile," she says, sighing. "It means your skin is growing back together."

Dashiell gives her an awed look. "My skin is growing! Whoa. Cool."

Castle laughs at that, draping an arm over the back of Dashiell's chair. "Well, your skin is always growing, kiddo."

"Always?"

"All the time. It's supposed to. It has to be flexible enough to let you move, and also hard enough to keep out germs and stuff."

"Hard *and* flexible," Dashiell says, poking at his arm and watching his skin bounce back. Kate watches it go from whiteish to yellow to pink in the space of a nanosecond. Like it's supposed to.

"Hey, you've got some color, wild man." Kate brushes her thumb over his arm, lets him see the colors come through until it's back to a faint tan again.

"Cool. Why's it do that?"

"You're pushing the blood out of your skin for a second. And then it rushes back," Kate answers, squeezing Castle's wrist when she can tell he's going to give a goofy, silly answer. A made-up answer. He does that a lot - tells a story instead of telling the truth.

Castle narrows his eyes at her, flips his wrist to grab her hand, both of their arms on the back of Dashiell's chair. He tugs and she leans in as he does, presses her mouth to his, happy.

"Missed you," she says finally, because she needs to say it, needs him to know.

His eyes are crisp like the sky, blue and brilliant. "Love you," he says back.

Ellery knocks her water over, sending waves across the table; Castle jumps up for napkins and Kate silences Dashiell's evil cackle with a thump to his ear.

"Don't laugh at your sister."

The moment is gone, but Kate remembers she's supposed to talk to Castle about Rafe. Alexis's friend. She remembers when Alexis moved from her on-campus apartment with the girls to the little two bedroom, sharing the space with Rafe. A chef who was almost never at home the same time as Alexis, Rafe seemed an ideal house mate - mostly absent.

Something has changed anyway. He may still work all hours and late into the night, but clearly Alexis sees enough of him to know she likes him.

To know he likes her. Loves her. Wow. A boy is in love with Allie.

Kate bites her lip on a grin.

Castle finishes mopping up the water and a waitress is over to collect the wet napkins, a new cup (this time with a lid) placed in front of Ella. The girl looks embarrassed to have spilled, and Kate gets that anxious feeling in her chest, the same kind of anxious she knows Ella is feeling for having made a mess of things; Kate wants to hug her and tell her it's no big deal.

Just at that moment, Rick leans over and kisses Ellery's cheek with a loud smack, saying something to her that Kate can't hear, and then Ella giggles and wraps an arm around her father's neck.

Kate's chest eases; she lets up her grip on Dashiell, who is, she hears now, whining at how hard she's squeezing his arm.

Well, he probably deserves it. And he's only whining, not actually hurt.

Kate leans over and snags Rick's shirt, pulling his attention towards her. "Hey."

"What?"

"When we get back, I need to talk to you."

"Okay," he says, half-turned back to Ellery before he catches the look on her face and does a double-take. "Why?"

"No, no. Not bad. Alexis called me."

"Oh, she called me too."

"She told you?"

"Told me what?" His eyebrows raise and Kate waves him off.

"Later. It'll keep."

Of course he's not cool with that - he's too curious for anything to keep. But Ellery is tapping his shoulder impatiently, and the waitress is back to take their orders.

Castle sighs. "Later," he says, pointing his finger at her. Using his dad voice.

She grins to herself, studies the menu. She's not sure when he started using that on her, like it would work (oh, it does though, no use denying it), but lately it's come out a lot more. Like when Dashiell cut open his head. And it does something to her, as if it can make the urgent and domineering voice inside her shut up and sit down.

She's never had anyone able to. . .control her before. Not that he is. He's not controlling her. He just. . .helps her keep control. Strange, she used to be able to do that on her own.

But after Dashiell was born, there wasn't any place to hide, no place to keep those walls. Her son asleep against her chest, her little boy needing her - there aren't any walls; walls can't exist in that place. And with those walls in rubble at her feet, there went Rick Castle, walking right inside.

(Of course, she thinks maybe he was inside all the time, had been, and that it was that case they suffered through together, shared, that showed her that - how they were already linked.)

So maybe she's defenseless against them, but they make her stronger. Rick Castle makes her stronger.

Strange how that's happened.