08 - The Legend Of A Wise Squid

You must have heard of the legendary handsome Squidward, no?

Well, have you heard about the tragedy of Cyborg Squidward the wise?

No? I thought so, it's not a common legend the ranks of Angels and Eldritch Horrors would recognize.

It's more of a...Zelda legend, I guess you could say, it's a Legend of Zelda...

Alexander certainly hadn't heard of this terrifying legend, yet couldn't help but think of it a the Angel stared into the distance.

Down to the most minute and fine details...it truly was the man, the legend, the robotic octopus Cyborg Squidward!

Well, except for the fact that the being frolicking in the distance didn't seem to be a cyborg, but a full-on robot.

The thing was larger than even a male african elephant, with a cone-like body made of some kind of tough mineral, a singular eye socket in the centre of its head wherin lays a glowing blue eye, and 6 fucking legs strong enough to lift its huge metallic body off of the ground and sprint faster than a cheetah.

It was a Guradian, Alexander knew for sure. It was an ancient robotic sentry created to combat against the forces of Malice, only to later then fall into the Gloom's corrupting cluthes...

It was evil Cyborg Squidward!

...Well, it actually looked more like a robot spider, but that's besides the point.

The Guardian was a shambling thing, aimlessly walking in a random direction as the blue eye in its socket glowed with a manic light.

Alexander tightly held onto the bow with his tendrils as he gazed at the shambling Guardian, contemplating about his current situation.

That Guardian's existence served as undeniable proof of the world he had been warped into.

The Legend of Zelda. Particularly, of the time period Breath of the Wild took place in.

Now, Alexander didn't really know whether to curse or be happy at this revelation.

On one hand, he was in a time period where the threats to his continued existence were mostly still underdeveloped, dead, or sealed.

On the other hand, he was in a time period where most of civilization had collapsed, leaving the Angel who had been a former citizen of the 21st century stranded in the bumfuck wilderness.

Well, it is called Breath of the Wild...

Regarding his knowledge about this world...Alexander had never really played a Zelda game aside from BOTW and TOTK, but he knew just enough about the lore...

He opened the [Writing] function he had added to the system and began typing all that he remembered about this world.

The Tri-Force, Goddesses, Dragons, The stones that turn you into Dragons, Sentient Trees, Fairies, Fish People, Rock People, The confusing mess of a timeline, The unclear magic system, The curse of a Demon...

Wait, is Demise an actual Demon King? No way, right?

Would that make Ganon some kind of demonic avatar or reincarnation? Is that why he calls himself the Demon King, cause he's a real remnant of one?

That...is an interesting thought, one that might be true.

This world was one trapped in a never-ending cycle of hatred and murder perpetuated by the curse of Demise.

Demise...he is a supposed king of Demons who arose from a pit to wage war against the three Goddesses.

Of course, he failed, and ended up being slain by the first Hero, his soul being obliterated by the fourth Goddess, Hylia...

In his dying breath, the Demon cursed the world to be stuck in a kind of loop.

A manifestation of his hatred would arise in each era to terrorize the world, and the reincarnation of the Hero as well as the avatar of the Goddess would be forced to stop him.

The Hero had always consistently been some guy named Link, the Goddess avatar was always a princess named Zelda, though the Demon King's hatred is ever changing.

The current 'Demon King' was currently sealed under the ruins of Castle Hyrule and bore the name of Ganondorf, not to be confused with the Ganondorf of the past era, who is a different person entirely...

That Ganon guy is the true source of the all the evils plaguing Hyrule, the magical manifestation of his malice literally spilling out as miasma and coming to life as demonic monsters.

That's basically the gist of it, and even then, it was one massive oversimplification.

Nintendo never thought much about the lore when making these damn games...

Luckily for the Angel, much of this world's confusing lore mattered little in this time period.

Alexander gazed at the Guardian in the distance, thinking if he should try and attack that thing or not...

No, no way. Why would he even do that? It's not like that shambling robot is currently aware of his existence or anything.

The Angel was like a solitary wasp, and the Guardian was Mike Tyson. The difference between him and an actual wasp was that he wasn't stupid enough to try and sting Mike Tyson in the balls.

Alexander turned his gaze toward the ruins he awoke on top of. It was the rundown Temple of Time, at least, this time period's iteration of it.

The Temple had been long ravaged by uninhabitance, what's left of it being a mere shadow of what once was.

Alexander lifted the bow up with his tendrils as he started to float towards the Temple of Time.

His current priority was to find himself an achor in which he could attach himself into, lest he be plunged back into the Rift.

Roy and the rest of Demonkind used malicious Abyssal contracts as reality anchors, but it was a little different when regarding Angels.

Instead of having to attach his being to a native's soul to stay under the counter force's radar via Abyss Contract, an Angel needed to become a...

A Guardian...

Alexander couldn't help but look at the shambling Guardian in the distance, that thing shared a name with Guardian Angels.

Nevermind that, to be a Guardian Angel, Alexander needed to find himself a suitable and willing vessel.

Unlike a contracted Demon, who merely had to do some kind of task or job, an Angel's relationship with their anchor is much more personal.

That is, because they need to go inside the native's body...

Not in like a weird way or anything...Guardian Angels needed to literally live inside their anchor's bodies. That's why they're called vessels.

Guardian Angels also didn't need to do some arbitratry task or anything, instead, they had to lend some of their own power to the vessel.

This also the case for the vessel, as their Guardian Angel would inherit some of their traits, though they might not always be useful since vessels aren't usually more powerful than their Guardian Angel.

Fortunately for Alexander, he had some time to search for a vessel as worlds are typically much more tolerent of Angels than they are to Demons.

Of course, they're literally Demons, what do you expect?

But even if Alexander got some lenient treatment, he still needed to find a vessel quick, he could already feel the spiritual weight on his soul increasing by the minute!

The best candidates would be either the current Link or—

Alexander paused as he stared at a particularly large yet seemingly normal rock.

'Why is there so much Mana in that thing?' He noted, slowly approaching the rock with a wary gaze.

Against the Angel's better judgement, he decided to lightly tap the rock, with the edge of bow.

—Rumble!

'Just as I thought!' Alexander unfurled his wings and took a huge leap back as the very ground erupted before him.

Standing tall and mighty, was a mounstrous, golem-like contruct of earth and rock. It was a Stone Talus, a golem with a large boulder for a torso and dozens of smaller boulders as limbs, the core of its being situated on top of its torso as a spiky black outcrop.

The Talus released an earthly roar of metal clashing against rock as it sprinted in the Angel's direction.

The Angel was about to zoom across the air but suddenly stopped as he sensed an overwhelming amount of concentrated Mana hurling in his direction.

A Mana Blast!

With a manic flap, Alexander just barely got out of the way as a concentrated blast of Mana shot itself past him.

Unluckily for the Talus, it was not nearly fast nor small enough to dodge.

—Baam!

The huge golem was sent crashing down against the nearby trees, most of its boulder-based body showing large cracks.

Alexander swallowed a gulp of air as he turned back to see the source of that Mana Blast.

It was Cyborg Squidward.

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Written by Dr. Armstrong