Regret

My name is Joseph Smith and I am dying on the street after being shot to death . I have many regrets, things that I wish I never did but I had to do them.

It was either me or them and I had to choose myself over them . My story started in 2000 October 19 being abandoned in front of an understaffed orphanage in what can be best described as a third world country.

Now at that time , I had no one and the orphanage was not doing to good . That is not even going into the coup .

I sometimes wondered what would happen if I was born somewhere else, with a loving family. I often did wonder about it but I sadly could not have it for after the new government came into power, they started conscription.

I was ten you know when I first had a gun given to my hand . I did many things that I am not proud of ,things I wish I never had to do .

I destroyed entire families, I ruined so many lives after every person I killed .

I wish I had a choice in life but I could not have it . Over the years a lot of children who had been conscripted had died either from bullets from the rebels to the new government or killed for insubordination.

You know I used to see the faces of all my comrades and the people I killed. I always did used to wonder do all the people who were rebels had people that cared for them. I wondered if they had families and would they forgive me ?

I guess I will never know for I am bleeding out to death and I could only cry for it .

I wish I had a second chance to live a life where I can choose .

Little did I know that after my death will I get my wish