Kiss her again

The cave was dim, and the fire flickered softly in the corner, casting shadows on the walls that seemed to dance along with the rhythm of my thoughts.

I was seated on a blanket Ren had summoned from her magical cooking supplies earlier, though I hardly noticed it.

The fruit salad Ren had prepared was delicious fresh, sweet, with just the right balance of flavours but it wasn't the food that had my attention. No, my mind was entirely consumed with something else.

Something that had happened just hours ago.

I could still feel the heat of Ren's body beneath mine, the way her breath had caught when I'd looked at her, the way her lips had tasted like fire, like everything I couldn't put into words.

What was I doing?

It wasn't like I hadn't kissed anyone before. Levan was always affectionate, always ready to shower me with his attention and his love at least, that's what he claimed. But with Ren... It was different. I hadn't planned for it.

I hadn't expected it, and certainly not in the way it had happened. It had been so quick, so sudden. But it had been electric.

I exhaled sharply, running a hand through my hair. Gods, what is wrong with me?

Ren had been so close. Her lips... I didn't even remember how it had happened. I just knew it had. She was beneath me, her chest rising and falling with her breath, and I—

I caught myself.

Why am I thinking like this?

I stared at the fire, willing myself to focus, but my mind kept drifting back to her. To Ren. The way she looked at me when our lips had brushed. It had been brief, but the warmth of her mouth had lingered long after.

A part of me didn't want to let it end. I wanted more. But I wasn't sure how to handle it. I wasn't sure if I even could handle it. I was a princess, for crying out loud! I had to act the part, play my role, follow the rules. Ren was just my bodyguard. She was my subordinate, not someone I was supposed to—

"Xyra."

I jumped slightly at the sound of her voice, breaking my thoughts. Ren was sitting across from me, her eyes soft but piercing as usual.

"Are you alright?" she asked, concern lacing her voice.

I blinked at her, trying to steady myself.

"Of course I'm fine," I replied, forcing a smile that felt far too stiff. "Just... tired."

She seemed to study me for a moment, her brow furrowing as if she didn't quite believe me. But she didn't press. Instead, she picked up her bowl of fruit salad and ate quietly, though I noticed her glances towards me.

I hated this feeling. The way her eyes lingered on me, the way I wanted to turn my head just to see if she was looking. It was maddening.

"Do you ever stop thinking?" I asked, trying to deflect from my own swirling thoughts, even though I knew the question sounded a bit off.

Ren chuckled softly, her gaze softening. "No. Not really." She paused, her lips quirking. "But maybe I should. I've been making way too much trouble for myself lately."

I swallowed hard, watching her. I didn't know what I was expecting maybe a joke, maybe some of that usual bravado but what I saw instead was a look I couldn't quite read. There was something raw, something vulnerable in her eyes that made my heart beat a little faster.

And then my gaze flicked to her lips.

It was strange. The desire was unexpected, sudden, like a fire being stoked to life in my chest.

Ren was always so... confident. Unapologetic in her own way. She was the type of person who would face any challenge head-on, regardless of how dangerous or difficult it was.

That same fearlessness was part of what made her so irresistible, even if it made me want to strangle her sometimes.

But in that moment, as I watched her brush a lock of hair behind her ear, something inside me shifted. Something I couldn't explain.

I leaned forward, not really sure what I was doing. My body felt like it was moving on its own. I barely registered the way her eyes widened in surprise as I closed the distance between us.

Then, before I could stop myself, I kissed her.

It wasn't like the kiss earlier, when I had been caught off guard, or the feeling had been new.

No, this time I initiated it. It was soft at first, hesitant, but I could feel her warmth, her breath, and something inside me urged me to keep going.

I could feel the beat of her heart against mine, and that little voice in the back of my head telling me that this was wrong, that I was playing with fire, seemed to fade away.

Ren didn't pull back, though I could feel the surprise in her body as she stiffened slightly. But soon, her hand found its way to my cheek, her fingers brushing gently, tenderly, almost as if testing the waters.

I deepened the kiss, my mind going completely blank. There was nothing else but this, nothing else but her and me, this space between us growing smaller with every heartbeat.

The kiss was slow at first, but it became more urgent, more desperate, until it felt like we couldn't breathe without the other.

She tasted like the fruit salad from earlier, sweet and full of life, and I felt a sense of completeness that I hadn't realised I was missing.

But before it could go any further, Ren pulled back.

I opened my eyes slowly, feeling a bit dazed, my heart hammering in my chest. I could feel the heat on my cheeks, the flush spreading across my skin.