14. Chapter 14

Author's Note: Well, either not too many of you enjoyed the last chapter, or everyone just really want more Linstead interaction. I only had a few reviews. I hope people aren't losing interest. I've still got quite a bit planned. I hope this chapter delivers what people are looking for.

Erin was exhausted. She had been tired in the past. Up twenty-four hours for an all-night stakeout. Days spent chasing suspects with only a few hours of sleep. But nothing, NOTHING, could ever compare to the last two weeks. Two weeks of non-stop, never resting, go-go-go. Laundry, dishes, more laundry, cleaning up the apartment, only to needing to clean up again fifteen minutes later. Then more laundry. Seriously? He was one! How could someone so little produce so many dirty clothes in such a short time period. And the cleaning. She would clean up all the toys and then she'd turn around find them all out again. It wasn't that Erin was a neat freak, but she liked a tidy living space. That was all gone though.

Managing the juggle of drop off and pick up, work, and chores took quite a bit of effort, but Erin was getting it done. Mrs. Deante was a life saver. Erin had actually no idea how she would have managed with a more traditional child care. She felt at ease leaving him every day, and Mrs. Deante had even kept him twice overnight for her when the job required late night work. Of course, Erin probably felt pretty comfortable knowing that Hank was only three doors down and across the street. From his front window, he could see the front of Mrs. Deante's house.. Hank was still keeping his distance from Erin though. They'd talk via phone and text, but she rarely saw him. Erin knew he spent hours each day with Daniel, accompanying them to the park and taking meals with him Erin still thought Hank should have just taken Daniel on himself, but she got what he was saying. By not having Daniel living in his home, if investigators or "enemies" came looking for Voight, Daniel was not involved.

Despite the stress, exhaustion, and chaos, Erin felt steady. She felt good. There was a purpose in her life that she had never felt before. Somebody out there relied on her 100%. Daniel needed her in a way that nobody else ever had. She could give him something that she had never been able to give someone in the past. Unconditional love. Not that she didn't love the other people in her life. She did. Hank and Justin, they had been her family, but she always felt she had to prove something to them. Prove to Hank that she was worth the effort he had put in to save her. She had always felt like she couldn't mess up, couldn't risk anything, because she'd let the Voight family down and they would realize they should have never saved her to begin with. With Jay, she had loved him, but there was a part of her she realized, that was always waiting for him to see that she maybe wasn't quite good enough for him. That if he ever saw that secret inner part of her, maybe he wouldn't love her after all. She didn't think she had knowingly hid a part of herself from him, but the more she thought about it, the more she wondered if that was why marrying him seemed like something she could never do. How could you hide yourself from someone every day for the rest of your life?

But Daniel, he looked at her like she hung the moon. Everything she did was exciting and funny to him. She could make him smile with just a tickle or a funny face. Erin envied Olive and her little boy, but she could not comprehend how she had left him. How could Olive look at his face every day, and not want to live a better life for him. Erin had only been with him for two weeks, and already she had a different perspective on life. Work was only a job, and getting home to make sure Daniel was being taken care of was just as important as how she spent her days.

Erin didn't delude herself that she was Daniel's mother or anything. She knew she was a temporary solution to a difficult situation. She was a glorified babysitter, and in all honesty, Mrs. Deante spent more time with the little guy than she did, but she was happy that she was able to give him a sense of normalcy during this time when his mom was gone.

They were still actively searching for Olive. Her and Voight had called every contact in Olive's phone at least twice. As predicted, most of her "friends" didn't respond well when being talked to by the police. Many had their own history with law enforcement, and assumed that they wanted Olive for a police matter. Several didn't even seem to be aware that Olive had a son and had been married. Giving up on Olive's friends, they had moved to their own personal informants. Problem was, they had to still keep it quiet. Putting too much information out there meant putting the fact that Olive had left Daniel out there as well. For now, it seemed they were at a standstill, waiting for Olive to decide to reach out.

Erin had resigned that she was going to be Daniel's caretaker for the time being. She couldn't help but acknowledge that she was living the life she had adamantly told Jay that she didn't want. Voight had made her promise not to share anything that was going on in their personal lives with the squad. Only Al was in the loop, so Jay was unaware of the recent changes to her life. It didn't mean he didn't realize something was going on. They had formed a temporary truce after Voight's suspension. Jay seemed to be walking on eggshells around her, but Erin surmised it was just because he knew the stress she was dealing with regarding Voight's suspension. He'd been taking on part of her paperwork so she could leave early, and had covered for her when she'd come back late from lunch after checking on Daniel. She knew he was curious about what was going on and assumed she was meeting with Hank, but Erin just kept telling him that she hadn't seen Voight in over a week, which was technically true. Eventually he stopped asking, but Erin realized he had just moved onto another source. He seemed to be spending a lot of time in the office with Antonio. As temporary head of Intelligence, Erin assumed that Dawson was getting some info regarding Hank's case from headquarters. A hearing was scheduled for the week after Thanksgiving, and even though they hid it from Erin, the whole team was discussing what the possible outcome might be. There were hushed whispers when she entered a room, knowing glances exchanged between the team members, and pitiful looked thrown her way.

Even now, Erin could feel Jay's gaze narrow on her as she got up from her desk and made her way to the break room to refill her coffee. It was early evening, and by the look of things, they'd be heading home in a little while. Erin was trying desperately to get a second wind. It may have only been six o'clock, but Erin was bone tired. Daniel and sleep were the only things on her mind. Knowing she still had several more hours before her head was going to hit the pillow, she needed another dose of caffeine. Erin groaned in frustration when she saw that the coffee pot was empty. She spent a few minutes making new coffee, then dropped into one of the break room chairs to wait while it brewed. Almost involuntarily, her head dropped to the table and she cradled it in crook of her arms. She wasn't going to fall asleep, she told herself, even as her eyes drifted shut.

"Are you sick?" Jay's voice interrupted her catnap. She was surprised when she lifted her head to see him pouring some of her coffee into his mug. Had she actually fallen asleep during the ten minutes or so it might have taken to brew the coffee? It sure looked that way. Jay was eyeing her with a bit of concern.

"No, I'm good. Just tired." Erin dragged herself out of her chair, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. She grabbed her cup off the hook, and held out her mug for Jay to fill. He obliged, but still kept a worried frown on his face.

"You've been late a lot this week." She could hear the disapproval in his voice.

Erin cocked her eyebrow at him, "Antonio ask you check my time card?" Erin knew that she'd been rolling in later this week. Not that she really was late. She just almost always was early in the past. Although truthfully, she had been actually a little late a few days, and maybe really late once or twice. It was hard. Somedays Daniel went smoothly from home to Mrs. Deante's, but other days it was a series of problems and drama. It was getting easier, but at the same time harder.

Jay gave her a stern look, he tossed a quick look over his shoulder to make sure they weren't being overheard, then lowered his voice. "You've been hungover almost every day. Knock this off, lay off the partying, and get your shit together."

Erin's mouth dropped open in shock, "You think I'm drunk?" She couldn't believe what Jay was telling her. She could see disappointment rolling off him and directed at her. She was exhausted from changing diapers, doing laundry, and making baby food, and Jay thought she was partying each night? She almost laughed it was so ridiculous.

Jay crossed the room and quietly closed the break room door. "You're constantly late and can barely keep your eyes open. You are unfocused and distracted. You take off at lunch and return late, and you are constantly trying to leave early." He lowered his voice a bit, "You reeked of puke the other day."

Erin couldn't hold in the laughter anymore. "You are going to feel like an idiot when you realize that I-" Erin broke off. She wanted to tell Jay what was going on, but she knew she couldn't. Hank was still in over his head at headquarters. His hearing was still two weeks away. She gritted her teeth. "I'm not getting wasted each night, Jay."

Jay just looked at her doubtfully. "I can't cover for you with Dawson much longer."

Anger flared in Erin, "I never asked you to cover for me. I thought you were just being a good partner."

"I have been a good partner!" Jay replied his voice rising.

Erin just shook her head in disbelief. Just when she thought they were getting back to a better place. She just couldn't believe Jay thought she was going there. The reality was so far from the truth. Erin was so irritated. She had thought she could keep Jay in the dark over what was going on, but clearly he was digging and suspected something was going on. She wanted him out of her head.

In a split second, she made a decision, "You know what, Jay. We've had this argument more times than I care for. You clearly are done having me as a partner. You don't want to cover for me, then don't. Talk to Antonio. With Voight gone, I am sure he'd be more receptive to getting you a new partner."

Erin dumped her forgotten coffee into the sink, and she walked out the door. She dropped into her chair and ignored the curious looks from the rest of the team. Truly, at this point, she kind of hope Jay did go to Antonio. Maybe if she was partnered up with Al for a bit, all this would be easier. Her eyes lifted as Jay emerged from the break room. She saw him hesitate and give a glance into Antonio's office, relief soared through her as he continued to his desk.

Erin was angry at herself. Life would just be so much easier if they didn't spend every day together. She could move on, and he could move on. Yet, she just couldn't deny the constant connection she had with him. She could push him away, but the tie just couldn't be broken. He seemed no more willing to let her go, than she was willing to walk away either. She looked back at her computer screen and let herself get lost in her work.

…..

Evening approached quickly, and with no leads, a little after seven Antonio rolled out of his office. "Alright, guys. Looks like nothing more is going to happen tonight. Why don't you take off, have a beer, and I will see you all tomorrow."

Erin powered off her computer and started straightened her desk. She realized that someone was looming over her. Expecting Jay, she was surprised when looking up, she saw both Atwater and Ruzek standing at her desk. Furrowing her brow in confusion, "Yes?" she questioned.

"Headed to Molly's. You in?" Ruzek asked.

Erin smiled regretfully, "Not tonight, boys. I've got plans."

The two exchanged glances. "Come on, Lindsay. It's Cruz's birthday, and Otis says the first round is on him. It's a once in a lifetime experience." Ruzek continued.

Erin shook her head, "Sounds like it will a fun night, but sorry." She shuffled the loose papers on her desk into their folder.

Ruzek gave it another shot. "Erin. You haven't been out with us in weeks. We need you as our wingwoman."

Confusion spread across her face. "You need me? How's that work?"

Ruzek shrugged, "Well, when we are talking to the girls, they see that we are hanging with a cool chick, then they know that we are stand up guys. No girl is going to hang with a bunch of idiots."

Erin couldn't help but laugh at that logic. "Well, I appreciate the invite guys, but I really do have unbreakable plans tonight. You'll just have to charm the girls with your personalities."

Atwater laughed and held out his hand towards Ruzek. With exaggerated effort, Ruzek pulled out his wallet, slipped out a twenty-dollar bill, and slapped it into Kevin's outstretched hand. Observing the scene, Erin's eyebrow rose in curiosity. "What is that?"

Atwater smiled at Erin, "Thanks, Lindsay. Your predictable refusal to hang with your friends got me a few extra drinks on Ruzek tonight." He snapped the twenty gleefully before tucking it into his shirt pocket.

Erin rolled eyes. "Seriously, guys? I have plans. What's the big deal."

Atwater shrugged his voice smooth, "Hey, it's no big deal. I mean, I know we all used to be cool, but now you ain't got time to hang with us anymore. You go hang with your new friends."

Erin let out an exasperated breath. She knew that she hadn't hung out with anyone since she had started taking care of Daniel, but how could she justify taking a few more hours away from home after having him with a babysitter all day. "I'd like to go guys, for real. I just can't tonight."

Ruzek leaned over desk and lightly tapped her phone that lay on top of her files. "Just pick up the phone and send a little text to your new boyfriend telling him you can't hang tonight because you miss your real friends." He pushed the phone towards her a bit.

Erin darted a quick look at Jay after the boyfriend comment, but his interest was a hundred percent on his own phone. "Guys, I don't have a new b-" Right as she was going to deny the new boyfriend, her phone lit up. She snatched it up from Ruzek's prying eyes, and was surprised to see a text from Voight.

Go. Go out with the guys tonight.

Erin's eyes scanned the squad room thinking for some bizarre reason she would find Hank hiding somewhere in the office. Her eyes then focused on Olinsky, leaning back in his chair, his phone in his hands. His eyes met hers for a moment and he gave an almost unperceivable nod. Erin still hesitated for a moment. She had made a commitment after all. Her phone buzzed again.

You deserve a night out. I'll grab Daniel and take him over to your place and get him settled in for the night. Just don't be too late.

Despite permission from Hank, Erin was still unsure. Wasn't the whole point of this ruse to keep Daniel away from Hank? She looked up and saw Adam and Kevin had already headed back to their desks to start packing up to leave. She kind of did miss the doofuses. They were like little brothers to her. Annoying and irritating, but she nevertheless enjoyed spending time with them.

"Okay, guys! You win. But I am not buying any of my own drinks tonight." Both guys grinned at her, with Ruzek holding out his hand to Kevin, waiting for his money to be returned.

Erin stood, and slipped her jacket and beanie on. She couldn't help but let her eyes drift towards where she could see Jay gathering his belongings as well. He gave her an indecipherable look. Erin didn't care. Jay could think what he wanted. If he thought she was a wasteful drunk, maybe she would let him see what he wanted to see tonight. Despite her ire, Erin knew that she wouldn't though. As much as she would like to prove something to Jay, she still couldn't wait to get home to Daniel. Two drinks and she was going to be out of there. Just enough to appease her friends. Knowing those two, thirty minutes after they'd arrive, they'd probably be off flirting with the badge bunnies that always hung around Molly's looking for firemen and police officers to hook up with.

…

Molly's was packed, and many had turned out to celebrate the lovable firefighter's birthday. After greeting the birthday boy and host, the squad had squeezed in at a table with Sylvie, Burgess, and Tay, Kim's new partner. Everyone was feeling jovial, and Erin had to admit maybe it had been a good decision to come out tonight. After two stressful weeks, strike that, five stress filled months, it was nice to laugh and joke with her friends and colleagues. The reactions from many of her friends over actually seeing her out, made her realize that her absence had been noted.

Erin was on her way back from a restroom break, she bumped into Kelly Severide. "Hey," he greeted her happily wrapping his arms around her in a quick hug. Erin couldn't remember the last time she had seen him. Lowering his voice, he whispered into her ear. "I heard about Voight. You okay?"

Erin nodded. She appreciated the concern, but she didn't want to discuss it at Molly's, and certainly not with Kelly. The two had dated a few years ago, but it had fizzled out. She enjoyed his friendship, but they weren't exactly confidants. Like most of the firefighters, he had a tenuous relationship with Voight. Most knew Hank had crossed the line at times, but he had also gone above and beyond for many of them. Pulling back to look at him, Erin just smiled up at Kelly, "I'm good. Everything will be worked out soon."

He released her and turned to the bar, flagging down a haggard looking Herman, "Let me get you a drink."

They made chit chat at the bar for a few minutes. Kelly catching her up on the recent developments with Casey and Gabby's foster son, Louie, and updating her on his new living quarters. Suddenly, Erin felt a tap on her shoulder. Turning around, she was surprised to see Detective Evan Garcia.

"Hi," she exclaimed in surprise. It felt like she was seeing everyone she knew tonight.

Evan leaned in and gave her a kiss on her cheek. Erin felt herself flush at the gesture. She didn't really think they were at that intimate level. It reminded her immediately of the last time she had seen him face to face. The image of them kissing passionately against her car sprang into her mind. Looking up at his smiling eyes, she suspected he was thinking of the same moment.

Hearing Kelly clear his throat behind her, she stepped back to introduce the two. "Detective Evan Garcia, this is Lieutenant Kelly Severide from fire station 51." Both men shook hands, and Erin cringed a bit as she noted the tight hand shake, raised chins, and slightly puffed out chests, as they sized each other up. Men were so juvenile at times.

Evan gave her a sly look, "So, new boyfriend?" He looked knowingly at Kelly. Erin could tell he thought that her lack of interest in dating him was because she had gotten involved with someone new.

Kelly laughed and answered before Erin could, "Ah, no. Old boyfriend." He gave Erin a grin and gestured toward Evan. "Is this your new guy?"

Evan jumped in, "I thought you said your ex was a cop, not a firefighter."

Erin crossed her arm in annoyance at neither man letting her actually talk. "No." She waved her hand between the two of them. "No boyfriends here. I am not involved with you or you." She pointed at both of them in irritation. "I am not dating either of you, nor do I ever plan to date either one of you again. I am just here to have a drink and a good time."

Both men seemed to enjoy her frustration and laughed at her expense. Kelly leaned in, and put his hand on Evan's back pulling him in a little closer. "Two tables back, guy in the black hoodie glaring at us. That's her guy."

Erin swung her head around, and sure enough Jay was openly glaring at the trio. Erin looked back at the two men. "Thanks guys, that's all I needed."

Kelly chuckled, "Oh, come on, Erin. You know I was just kidding. Jay and I are cool." While they weren't exactly buddies, there had never been any real tension between the two. Her and Kelly had ended well before her and Jay had taken up. Although Kelly probably wouldn't be pleased to know that he had been merely a distraction to keep her interest in her partner from growing.

Erin noted Evan was looking over at Jay with interest, "Ah, so there's the partner. The real ex-boyfriend." His eyes had narrowed as he gave Jay the once over.

Erin grabbed his arm and jerked his attention back at her, "Stop staring. He's going to think we are talking about him."

"We are talking about him." Evan deadpanned. Erin punched him in the gut, satisfied when he grabbed his stomach in pain.

Kelly again laughed, "You must not know Erin very well. Don't mess with her. She's a badass." Kelly smiled fondly at Erin, while she just sent him an annoyed smirk. The smile faded a bit as his eyes drifted back over Erin's shoulder to where she assumed Jay still sat watching them. "Is everything okay between you two?"

"No." Erin immediately responded, before regretting the quick response. Kelly had immediately set his jaw and narrowed his eyes at Jay. She really didn't want Kelly to get involved in this mess. It was already complicated enough. "I mean, we're fine. Just you know. Work is just rough lately."

Erin could tell Kelly wasn't buying it though. His eyes when he looked back at Erin didn't hold the laughter that usually could be found in them. Evan took that moment to speak up, "I already volunteered to kick his ass for her, but she turned me down." He slid his eyes toward her playfully, "In every way."

Erin grabbed her beer bottle off the bar top. "Okay. Nobody is kicking anyone's ass here, but me. Cause that is exactly what I am going to do to both of you, if you don't drop this. I've had enough of reuniting with y'all, I am going to return to my table." At that Erin spun around and started shuffling back through the crowded bar to her table.

"Fiesty," she heard Evan murmur as she walked away.

"You have no idea," she heard Kelly reply.

Erin rolled her eyes as she returned to the table dismissing both men from her mind. Ruzek was in the middle of telling Sylvie an outrageous story, while Atwater kept interrupting to correct his exaggerated facts. Erin noted that Kim gave her a warning look as she approached, tilting her head slightly Jay's way. Reluctantly, Erin let her gaze move in that direction. His anger at her was unmistakable. Silently, Erin shrugged at him gesturing in confusion. What was he so mad about? So what? She was just talking to a few friends.

Abruptly, Jay stood and Erin watched as he headed towards the door. Her mind warred over whether or not to go after him. Realizing all conversation at the table had stopped, she noted everyone was staring at her expectantly. Erin let out a sigh of exasperation and spun around to chase her ex-boyfriend down. As she pushed out the doors of Molly's, she realized she wouldn't have to go far. Jay was standing right outside the door with his arms crossed clearly waiting for her. Apparently, he had rightfully known that she would follow him.

She had barely exited Molly's when he erupted, "I don't care if you date them, Erin, but keep me out of it. I don't want your boyfriends sitting there talking shit about me."

"We weren't talking shit, Jay. I was just talking with them." Erin knew that wasn't exactly the truth, but she didn't think that Jay would appreciate that Kelly and Evan had been discussing kicking his ass. With his occasionally volatile temper lately, he might try and turn the crowd at Molly's into an out and out brawl.

His eyes were narrowed and his stance defensive. "Well, keep my name out of their mouths."

"You're being an ass again, Jay." Erin had had enough. "You don't get to control me anymore."

Jay was taken aback at her words. "I don't try and control you."

"Don't you?" Erin countered. She couldn't take it anymore. "Ever since I said no to you, you have been controlling me and this relationship. You make the decision that we should get married, and when I don't agree, then you are done with me. You are willing to sleep with me, but don't want to actually be with me. You get mad at me for dating, but have no problem hooking up with girls at your place. You decide when we can be friends and when we can't."

Erin took steps toward him, shoving him with her hands in anger, "What about me, Jay? What about ever thinking about what I need? You only see what you want to see and don't even know what I have been dealing with. Get over yourself, Jay, because I am most certainly over you!" Anger coursing through her, Erin gave him one last shove, and then took off towards her car. She had better things to do than to stand in a parking lot arguing for the millionth time with her ex-boyfriend.

Erin was beyond mad that Jay had ruined her night out. Two hours. That was all she had wanted. Two hours to relax, have a few drinks, converse with good friends, and just exhale. Erin took a few steadying breaths as she started her car. While she drove, she replayed the two different arguments she'd had with Jay today. She really was done with it. She was going to go to Antonio herself and ask him to switch things up. They had promised each other that getting involved wouldn't affect their jobs, but clearly they had been wrong. It was embarrassing, but she knew in heart it was for the best. If Jay was this angry and distrustful of her, there was no way he should be the one covering her back on the job. Once her mind was made up, Erin actually did feel a sense of relief pass over her. She knew it was the right decision.

Glancing at her watch, she was surprised that it was after ten. Erin unlocked her apartment door, and quietly passed through the door. She could see the light from the television, although no sound could be heard as she walked into the darkened apartment. She smiled as she entered the living room. Voight sat on the couch with an asleep Daniel cradled against his chest. Erin smiled at her family. Her family. This is why she was doing everything. To protect her guys.

Voight stood slowly, careful not to wake Daniel. Erin walked over to meet him, and looked at Daniel's sleeping face. "Did he have a good night?" she whispered.

"Of course. He's an angel." Hank replied instantly as only a grandparent does.

Erin reached out to take Daniel, and Hank successfully transferred the sleeping child to Erin's arms. "Wait just a minute. I'll put him down and then we can talk a bit," Erin said.

Voight shook his head, "No, it's late. I've got to go." He immediately began walking toward the door.

"Hank…" Erin protested. She hadn't seen him face to face in two weeks, and she really wanted to talk with him. She wanted more information about his case and about his search for Olive, but he had already grabbed his keys off the table and had his hand on the door.

Hank turned at the door, and looked back at Erin who had followed him. "Glad you had a chance for a night out. You deserve a break." Quickly he dropped kisses to Daniel's forehead and Erin's temple. "Good night."

Erin just stood there in frustration as he walked out the door. Why were the men in her life so damn frustrating! Glancing down at Daniel, she excluded him from her ire, for the most part. He did have a tendency for spitting up on her. Not really wanting to let the sleeping boy out of her arms just yet, she sank down onto the couch where Voight himself had just sat minutes earlier. She relished the weight of the him against her chest and softly stroked his hair. He seemed so content in his rest, and Erin was reassured that she was making all the right decisions. Protecting Daniel was her only priority. Nothing else really mattered.

Rapid knocking suddenly filled the room. Erin did a quick glance around the apartment, realizing that Hank must have left something behind. Not immediately seeing anything, Erin took a few quick steps toward the door. She shifted Daniel to her hip carefully, as she opened the door only to see the startled blue eyes of Jay.

Oh, shit.

Author's Note: Predictable, I know, but it's time for Jay to get a real peek at what is going on with Erin. Although honestly, I think this just might create more "complications." Happy reading. Review and give me an idea of how you think Jay might react to the Daniel, Olive, and Voight drama.

P.S. It is really hard to write Jay as a jerk when he is being so amazing on the show! "Do your thing, babe." Argh!