Chapter 21

To be honest, it didn't take long for me to realize how much Vic's mother really did baby him. She practically hovered over him everywhere he went, serving as a constant reminder of his disability. Whenever he'd move from one room to the next, she'd shift positions, watching him like she thought he needed to be. I guess in some twisted way it just showed that she cared about him. But it was also

disheartening how she'd shoot him down every time he attempted to joke about it. I was guessing it was probably why he had no problem pretending like he wasn't still mad at Mike.

"Oh, yeah, I'm definitely never forgiving him . . . for now," Vic explained, when I asked him about it. We had finally gotten some alone time and were taking a walk around his neighborhood. He seemed to know the street almost as well as he knew his house.

I was just curious about his situation with Mike because I didn't ever see myself being able to talk to Justin in the same way again. Granted we ended up in different situations but . . . still.

"Really? You act like you're still super close though," I pointed out. I looked down at our intertwined hands and lightly brushed my thumb against his.

"Well, yeah, I mean for one thing, he's still my brother and I still love him. And on top of that, I know neither of us want to find out how she'd react if she found out what actually happened," he said, adding a dark chuckle.

"Wouldn't Mike just get in trouble? You didn't do anything wrong," I pointed out.

"Yeah, but I'd still get consequences . . . like if she didn't trust Mike, I'd never get to go back to school," he said, peaking interest.

"Wait, you're coming back?" I asked, excitedly, hoping it would be sooner rather than later. All I wanted was to just see him every single day like I did before this mess.

"Yeah, for spring semester," he grinned. "I mean, it's too late to finish everything I've missed, plus I've already been pulled out . . . I might take a winter class or something, but yeah. Mike should be better by then, so I'll be back in January."

"Oh, that's so good to hear," I sighed. Good. This was good. Hopefully it would be a first of more good things to come. Then again, I didn't feel like I knew what good things would even be like any more. "What if we could be roommates?"

"As much as I'd love that, I don't think it would work out. Deal is I stay with Mike, and our apartment is already full . . . like the other guys don't plan on moving out and they're pretty good roommates so-"

"Yeah, I understand," I said, feeling a little bit defeated. "I just . . . I feel like I need to change roommates . . . because it's just painful to be around Justin right now."

"Yeah? Is he doing anything to you?" Vic asked, suddenly defensive.

"No, I mean, he gets irritated because I won't talk to him still, but other than that he hasn't done or said anything bad," I explained, calmly. "He still goes to his stupid frat meetings, though."

"Well, yeah," Vic said, sounding annoyed as well. "Mike is still talking to them, too."

"I still don't understand why they'd do this to us," I said, feeling a bit dejected. After all the years I spent with Justin being my best friend, I just couldn't believe things had come to this. Hanging out with Vic over Thanksgiving break definitely made me feel better, but there was still a huge part of me that felt empty.

"I don't know," he said, quietly. ---

Unfortunately, though, my time with the Fuentes family seemed to go by way too fast. Family dinners and quality time with Vic just flew by and before I knew it, I found myself clinging to Vic in bed the night before I would have to leave, crying hard. I was probably being ridiculous, but the thought of leaving him just hurt so much.

"Kells, sweetie, it's going to be okay," he told me, softly, running his fingers soothingly through my hair. It felt nice, but I was still upset. I held onto him tight, pressing my face against his chest as I cried. He was so warm and I knew he was the only one who could comfort me. I held on, feeling like I couldn't get close enough to him.

"I just don't want to go back by myself, I don't want to leave you," I sobbed. "I hate being alone; I hate it so much."

"I know, baby, I know," he said sadly, kissing my forehead. "I know, and I wish there was something I could do to make it better, but I can't right now. You know you can call me whenever you need to, okay?"

"But I want you," I sobbed. I swore I was at least trying to stay calm but it probably didn't seem like it. It just wasn't working. I was an absolute mess. I didn't know how the hell I expected to handle actually leaving him the next day.

"You have me," he promised. "I'm right here, okay? I'm never going to leave you, alright?" "P-promise?" I choked, attempting to wipe away some of the wetness from my face.

"Of course," he breathed moving forward to kiss me. I melted against him, enjoying the spark of reassurance that his lips allowed. I slowly moved my lips against his, as his tongue gently brushed against them, making me shiver a bit.

I was definitely calmed down, distracted by his mouth. I reached up to wrap my arms around his shoulders so that I could continue to kiss him. He was so perfect. Absolutely perfect.

"I love you," he mumbled against my lips, as he tightened his arms around me. I clung against him tighter, balling his shirt between my fingers. Before I realized what was happening, he let his hands run gently down my lower back and beneath the waistband of my pajama pants.

I immediately choked and pushed him off me, as a frenzy of alarms went off in my head. My hands hit him square in the chest. I actually pushed my own boyfriend away.

"What?" he asked, more concerned than offended that I had literally pushed him away. I found myself steadying my breathing, feeling like I had just finished running or something. I blinked a few times, trying to ground myself.

"I'm- oh my god, I'm sorry," I gasped, realizing what happened. "I'm so sorry Vic, I just can't."

"No, shh, it's okay," he said, pulling me back down to him. His hands were gentle this time, more cautious, and nowhere near my pants. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that."

"No, you didn't do anything wrong, you're . . . oh my god, I'm a mess," I groaned, lying back down and burrowing against the pillow. "I'm so sorry, Vic."

"Don't apologize, you're absolutely fine," he assured me. I let a few moments of silence pass between us, focusing on my breathing and the fact that Vic was right in front of me. Vic loved me. He would never hurt me. I mean, I thought Justin would never hurt me, either, but- No, stop. Vic would never hurt me .

"I don't feel fine," I admitted, quietly. Vic stayed silent for a while after that. The air was still and heavy with emotion.

"Kells, can I hold you?" he finally asked after a while. His sudden speech caught me off guard, but then I relaxed.

"Of course," I whispered, moving closer to him so he could put his arms back around me. I needed to remind myself that this was okay, that this was my safe spot. Vic wasn't going anywhere and I had absolutely nothing to be afraid of. I closed my eyes and repeated that mantra to myself, trying to force myself to believe it.