Evil, Meet Chaos

Dobby was a very happy elf. His new Mistress was the nicest witch he'd ever served. Even at Hogwarts, Dobby and the other house elves were treated like they weren't even there.

He had lots of meals to make and messes to clean. Best of all, he never ever got hit! Though he had to admit that he had a new guilty pleasure working for Mistress Black. Dobby loved setting traps!

When Dobby realized that he was going to fight bad wizards like his old master, he may have become a little too excited. As a result, the defenses around Bones manor were rather... devious, even by Black standards.

Nymphadora wasn't even aware of the modifications that Dobby had made to her plans, though she would have approved wholeheartedly. It turns out Dobby had great talent in the art of mischief and mayhem.

House elves didn't interact with magic like wizards and witches. Whereas the magicals could only use magic, and the more skilled could feel it, the elves could see magic in all of its wondrous shapes and forms. Dobby could see the wards and ambient magics of the manor. He could see the chaotic magic of his Mistress from rooms away. He could also see the magic of the Dark One.

Even though the Dark One had only just entered the house, Dobby could see tendrils of black magical energy wafting through the air already. The Dark One had come with over a dozen of his men. The presence of so much concentrated evil made Dobby shiver in fright, but only for a moment. His resolve hardened when he thought about his kind new Mistress. Dobby would not fail!

Tipsy was in charge of the cursed necklaces that were designed to strangle their wearers along with the books that tried to eat you. As there were a disturbingly large number of them, it was a one elf job.

Dobby was a little disconcerted that somebody out there in the world had so obviously devoted themselves to making murderous jewelry and hungry literature. Wizards sure were crazy. Dobby thanked whatever god that was listening that he was born an elf.

Dobby had lots of surprises for the Dark One and his minions. The first surprise being that anti-apparition and anti-portkey charms do nothing against House Elf apparition. Dobby popped away to start stage one of his Mistress' plan.

Dobby soon found himself slowly unscrewing the bolts of a chandelier as the Dark One and two dozen of his servants walked beneath him, cautiously moving through the manor.

Dobby didn't know why his Mistress had specified that he should take his time with the chandelier and be as loud as possible, but he followed her orders to the letter.

Squeak. squeak. squeak.

As Dobby worked on his task, the sound was heard by the Death Eaters below. They looked around, confused by the squeaking noise. Voldemort happened to look up and he met Dobby's focused gaze as the chandelier shuddered. Dobby popped away and the chandelier fell with a loud crack!

Dobby wasn't sure why, but Mistress said that Death Eaters had a weakness to non-magical chandeliers, of all things. She was right!

The lighting fixture crashed into the midst of the Death Eaters, directly flattening three of them! The rest scattered, spells flashing into the ceiling as they sought cover. By that time, Dobby was watching through one of the doors that branched off from that hallway. Plaster and stone rained down on the invaders as their spells struck nothing.

"Fucking blood-traitors! Selwyn's dead!" a voice cursed. The Death Eaters were enraged that someone had dared to fight back against them.

"Enough! Split up and spread out!" The Dark Lord commanded, restoring order to his cronies, "I want that bitch Bones' head on a pike! Whoever finds her will be rewarded!"

Dobby wasn't sure splitting up was the best idea. He remembered what his Mistress said about horror movies...

It was a good thing Dobby was nothing if not adaptable. He could play a horror movie villain if he tried his best! He thought the Death Eaters would make for great cannon fodder. Random extras one through three had already met with brutal deaths! They had such commitment to the genre that Dobby was nearly in tears!

The soon-to-be victims ranged throughout the house, checking every room. After the chandelier incident, they were very trigger happy.

Dobby heard choked screaming coming from the distance. Somebody found the murder-necklaces, apparently. He popped from room to room, waiting for the various traps to be sprung.

There was a Death Eater with his fingers cut off, suffocating to death on the floor, an ornate chain wrapped around his throat. The chains of the cursed necklaces could sprout razor-sharp wire once they activated. Not a pleasant way to go.

Dobby popped into the dining hall amid howls and screams. Somebody had fallen into one of the primitive spike traps hidden under a rug. Dobby remembered Madame Bones who said, "No self-respecting witch or wizard would ever be caught by such a thing..." before she was distracted by Mistress Black and her naughty lustful ways.

Dobby wasn't surprised that five Death Eaters were struggling at the bottom of a single pit, filled with sharp, jagged metal.

"Somebody help us!" one of them pleaded. They were all tangled up in each other and didn't have enough room to properly move to cast a spell.

Dobby shook his head with a sigh and summoned a few of the carnivorous books. He tossed them into the pit and popped away without a second glance. To think he once served a master just like them. How embarrassing...

An explosion rocked a side hall, shaking the rest of the building. Only a few minutes had passed, but Dobby could tell that about half of the Death Eaters had been taken out of the fight. Most of them permanently.

He popped into a room that looked normal save for a bucket, perched over the entryway. This room was outfitted with a Dobby Special! The Death Eaters were in for a unique experience, without a doubt.

Dobby hid himself in the corner to watch as he sensed more intruders coming up to the room. They blasted the door open with a spell and rushed in.

A pink potion was dumped on the heads of the intruding Death Eaters. Dobby made sure to direct some of the falling liquid into their mouths, just to be safe. House elves had lots of nifty household magic they'd developed over the centuries. Make a fussy master drink his medicine? Easy.

"Have fun, naughty wizards! Dobby will be back!" Dobby chuckled brightly as he walked out of the room, closing the door behind him. He was having so much fun!

Mistress Narcissa used this potion every time she had to fulfill her marital duties, so Dobby was intimately familiar with its concocting process and effects. He grinned maliciously as the sound of tearing clothes sounded from behind the closed door, along with bestial screams.

Mistress Narcissa only had to use a drop or two of the potion. Those men would be busy for a long time. Dobby wouldn't be surprised if some of them died. Excessive lust wasn't good for the heart, especially with an overdose of that particular potion.

The next place Dobby popped to was a hallway that was getting close to the study where his Mistress was waiting. Dobby dropped a small gem in the middle of the hall and popped away.

When four Death Eaters rounded the corner and one of them stepped near the gem it shattered with a concussive blast that sent them crashing to the ground. Before they could get their bearings, the remains of the gem transfigured themselves into slimy tentacles and bound them where they fell.

The tentacles weren't attached to anything and stung with a corrosive element. Dobby had seen his Mistress researching tentacle transfiguration spells, but the only thing the Blacks already had that was similar was this dangerous dark artifact.

Mistress Black was so excited when she first found the gem, but soon tossed it aside as a failure. "If I can't use it in the bedroom, then it's useless Dobby! Just throw it away." she said dismissively.

A gem that summoned toxic tentacles that wanted nothing more than to smother and constrict its prey. Gross. Even Dobby thought it was pretty gross. He still kept it, though. He was glad that his old master's master's servants would be meeting such an ignoble end.

Dobby couldn't feel very many intruders left, so he popped away to check on Tipsy. When he found her, she was popping around in the shadows, tossing jewelry at a group of Death Eaters as they ran through the house. Her aim was good, but they had been at this for a while and the surviving Death Eaters knew just how deadly each necklace would be if it touched them.

Her necklace-bag was still about half full, despite the fact that she probably hadn't let up for even an instant since they started fighting. Crazy. How many cursed necklaces did she have?

Dobby decided to help and popped in front of his exhausted enemies. He sent a pulse of magic that impacted their legs, tripping them. All four of them pitched forward and crashed into the floor. Before they could do more than groan in pain, Tipsy accurately nailed them with her necklaces.

The jewelry wrapped around their victim's necks and constricted. It would be a slow death for this group. The curse was designed to choke the victim to death, the razor wire only coming out if they tried to save themselves.

Dobby summoned their wands and threw them out a window. They wouldn't be needing those any longer.

Dobby shared a nod with Tipsy and they popped away to continue the fight. Before long, the manor was silent. No more screaming Death Eaters or explosions. All was peaceful until the silence was pierced by a howl, filled with anger. The Dark Lord was enraged!

Nymphadora, safely hidden away under Amelia's desk, was amused. She thought the Dark Lord and his followers would have put up more of a fight. Two stealthy house elves and some basic traps were all it took to take out over a dozen of them.

She would have been disappointed if she didn't know that pretty much all of his inner circle, past and present, were still locked up in Azkaban. These Death Eaters were probably mercenaries and dregs.

Nymphadora gave Amelia a peck on the cheek and prepared herself to head out. It was time to really piss off the Dark Lord.

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