Chapter 44

We stopped next to a carriage, I noticed the windows were covered. Lorcan opened the door.

"My prince, your carriage is waiting." He made a gesture inviting me in. The inside was dark and I hated the idea of going all the way back in darkness.

"What is it my prince, not good enough?" Lorcan whispered right into my ear, making me shiver. 

"So sensitive, did you miss me?" His voice was cold and full of accumulated anger. I said nothing and just entered the carriage. I didn't look back, I was afraid to face Lorcan. Something inside me was crumpled. I sat down turning my back at him. After a few seconds Lorcan closed the door. The carriage moved. We were riding fast. I was sure we were heading back to Lorcan's residence but I had no idea which places we have been passing by. It was a strange feeling, just as if time stopped and I was placed in some surreal place blocking all my senses. I could only feel the bumpy road and that was it. I closed my eyes and after a while I fell asleep. 

I woke up and I was still on the move. I couldn't sleep anymore and I didn't know how much time passed. I was thinking how I should face Lorcan when we stop. He was angry as hell. He has been looking for me for the whole time. It took him three months to find me. I knew he was persistent and he was unforgiving. There are two possibilities, he will punish me and turn me into a mere slave so everyone can see that there is no escape from him or he will simply kill me. Neither of these options was favorable for me. I wondered if there was anything I could do to lessen my punishment. Lorcn liked cute and obedient men. Can I act like that? Doubt, he will laugh and mock me. No use, I can't figure out anything. I can just react to the given situation. The only thing I can do is to face it with dignity. 

The carriage was shaking and it seemed they weren't stopping. I felt both a bit hungry and thirsty. I was wondering whether we would stop to take a break, after all horses needed rest too. I thought it impossible that they would be able to ride without a single stop till they reach the castle, or maybe they have already had one when I was sleeping?

In order not to go crazy in this darkness I was reciting a long poem about the change of season. I remembered it well but soon I stopped. my throat was parched. The last time I had something to drink was before I left my little flat behind the office. I sighed. For the past three months I managed to build myself a new living and I did it with my own power. I was proud of myself. Lorcan didn't find me crawling to his feet and begging for help, instead he found me a proud member of the society and an owner of a well functioning office. 

I rested my head on the backseat. I was thirsty and hungry, but I also wanted to use the toilet. This again reminded me of the time I was captured by the prince of Morreta. I managed to cross out two names from the list, yet the other two remained. Sarak was an asshole serving his master; however the most important enemy, the prince of Morreta, was very much alive and kicking. I might not be able to fulfill my promise of revenge.

It's hard to say how much time passed but I noticed the carriage was slowing down, soon it stopped and I heard voices outside.

"Change the horses!"

Fuck no, they will not stop. I need to go out and relieve myself. The matter was pressing now. I knocked on the door. Silence. I knocked again. I heard some steps and the door opened. It was Lorcan himself.

'My Lord, I need to go out for a moment."

 "Why?" That coldness again.

"I need to go to the toilet." I explained hoping he would allow me.

"There is no toilet here." He was teasing me. I knew what he wanted.

"My lord please, there is no need to humiliate me in that way." I continued using as gentle a voice as I could. 

'Fine, step out."

My legs were stiff from all that sitting and my back hurt a bit. I was holding on to the door handle yet I almost fell. Lorcan caught me and placed me on the ground.

"Do it here." He pointed at a tree growing on the side of the road. I took a few steps feeling uncomfortable. I looked at Lorcan.

"May I go a bit deeper? There are many people here." I lowered my eyes and I felt uncomfortable.

"No, here or piss your pants." 

So much for his understanding, I was trying to hide behind that tree and did what I had to. I felt so much better. Buttoning my pants I noticed it was getting dark. We have been riding the whole day. Till Lorcan's castle we need at least three days more.

I noticed the men were resting and eating something. We were in front of an inn. I was hungry and thirsty, yet Lorcan was only looking at me standing next to the carriage. I guessed he didn't plan to get me something to eat or drink. I decided not to beg. 

"Get inside." He ordered. I slowly walked back to the carriage. In complete silence I got inside and Lorcan closed the door. 

The whole next day we were going. Those men must have been monsters, don't they need sleep? I was allowed to get out twice to take a piss as Lorcan said it. Each and every time I was summoned back into the carriage. I wasn't offered any water nor food. I felt like shit. My head hurt and so were my insides. The feeling of hunger and thirst were tormenting me.