Chapter 34

Winter was in full bloom, it was snowing every day and the nights were busy checking the bridge making sure the snow was removed from the roof. Nearly every second day a caravan of merchants was passing through the bridge and I almost could hear the money falling right into Lorcan's pocket. 

Once I was asked for assistance. The Lord of the Bridge needed my help in translating a letter. I knew the Manzak language as it was the one most common trade language used by southern counties. I did it quite fast and Lorcan and his two other workers were impressed. I felt important, for a moment, before Lorcan pulled me on his lap and gave me a peck on my cheek while the other two office workers were still in the room. He even called me his little prince.

Two weeks later the twins came. Their rooms were prepared and the whole castle was in a great upturn in Gelda's opinion. 

"Now that we have the two young masters it's going to be more lively. I'm sure of it. It is always better when you have your children around. The Lord must be pleased too after all he has been waiting for it for fifteen years now." She kept rambling and I was becoming more and more anxious. Tod was persistent and I somehow felt he might take every chance to get closer to me. 

In the evening I was asked to assist the three lords during their dinner and Lorcan told me to bring the zither with me. I dressed neatly and went to the dining room. 

Tod was already there. He greeted me with a bright smile and immediately came closer.

"Kian, I have been waiting to see you the whole day." 

"Oh, well I was a bit busy." I decided to play it safe and create a distance between us. 

"We finally will be living here together. I am so excited. I'm going to see you every day." Tod gently touched my hair and even sniffed it.

"Sandalwood, I like this fragrance." He was way too close. I stepped back.

"Tod, your father will come any minute."

"Not so quickly, Jay will keep him busy for a while. Come here Kian." He grabbed my arm and pulled me closer. "Just one kiss." He was begging me with his eyes. 

"Tod, stop it. You know I'm with your father. Don't force me." There I said it and Tod should give up.

"Kian, do you love my father?" He was looking at my eyes and for a moment I didn't know what to say. A simple question, yet the answer wasn't that easy. There was a moment I was falling for Lorcan and I felt an attachment for him. But that feeling was burned out of my head. I hated him, I feared him, I enjoyed him and a part of me still wanted him to cherish me. 

Tod was looking at me with a smirk on his face. I missed the timing to answer his question with a confident yes.

"I guess I know the answer now."

Lorcan came along with Jay and they were talking loudly. Jay gave Tod a curious look and Lorcan for a moment was looking at both of us with suspicion in his eyes.

The evening went well, the food was delicious as it was a welcoming party. I played some light music and we all laughed from some funny stories Jay and Tod were telling. As soon as the dinner was over Lorcan grabbed my hand and pulled me closer.

"Boys get some good rest, tomorrow we will practice hard." He said that while holding hands with me. I blushed. 

"Good night father." They both answered.

"Come Kian, it's time to relax as well." Lorcan smiled at me and I followed him to his room, all the way he was holding my hand.

In his room Lorcan slowly undressed me, he was standing behind me and I could feel his body radiating warmth.

"Kian" He said my name softly. "You are my pretty little prince and I enjoy you a lot but remember never to betray me. Neither with actions nor with words. Do you understand?"

His voice wasn't soft anymore. 

"I would have to do some bad things to you Kian. Don't ever force me to do so." Then he kissed my ear, touched my neck and I was standing there petrified.

Lorcan left his room early in the morning and I just waited till he left. In the silence of his room I slowly got dressed since yesterday I felt numb. Getting up and putting on my clothes was taking me awfully long time. What Lorcan told me yesterday was still echoing in my head. He threatened to punish me for every even the slightest sign of betrayal. I wanted the winter to end as quickly as possible. I left Lorcan's room and went to the kitchen. I wanted something to drink and I didn't want to be alone. Even if I was among Lorcan's servants their small talks or presence alone was a bit comforting.

Gelda made me some warm milk with honey and I was sipping it looking out of the window. There was quite a lot of snow and two servants were digging their way through the snow to get to the pantry. 

"How long will the winter last?" I asked loudly, hoping somebody would answer.

"Oh, the winter will stay with us for the next three months, then the snow starts to melt and in four months we shall have a nice spring time." The cook, old Geon answered, adding that his knees are telling him that it will snow again.

Four months, I couldn't wait that long. I wanted to leave this place as soon as possible.

At noon I went for a ride, assisted by two Lorcan's men, to the creek and back. It was cold but I decided to stay outside as often as I could. I need to get used to the cold weather. For a moment I was watching Lorcan training his two sons. They were good, I could say that. I learned that Lorcan was one of the best sword masters and Tod wanted to become an even better one. They were practicing like crazy. I got tired from watching them and after a while went back to my room. The whole evening I was studying the maps.