Difficulties
While it was something that could provide a positive influence in her life, it could be just as likely that it could negatively affect her too.
That was where a conflict existed within her.
She knew one thing but the opposite was also something she had come to know.
Ash had many reasons to feel conflicted about the things she was feeling and experiencing.
One of the main things was that her life was difficult enough as it was and she did not need anything else to make it more difficult.
Other people would end up becoming a bigger influence on her life than she wanted and they could end up becoming a weakness for her.
She tried hard to not care about others but that seemed to be too difficult for her.
She thought that she could just make use of others for her goals but she was not so coldhearted to be able to do that.