1.4

Brandon leans against the door and takes a deep breath after closing it.

'I achieved.'

He had managed to avoid, or rather escape, the dinner he would have with all the Millers and the newcomer, on the pretext that this was a family dinner and that he couldn't be there, even if he was almost treated as such. by the home owners.

When the war broke out, and at James' insistence, he sat with them during their evening meals. Perhaps the lords missed their children and valued him enough to allow it. Brandon acknowledges that he has a more intimate treatment than the house servants, but he knows his position. He wasn't of the Miller bloodline and wasn't even officially adopted, so it wasn't like he could act like his sire's sons.

It was a little hard to see James' sad expression when he said he would be busy and couldn't have dinner with them. Brandon felt a little guilty, but he couldn't have had dinner in front of the lovebirds while his heart was being ripped to shreds.

The mansion's employees were always talking about what a great couple they were and how in love they were when they passed them in the halls. It was painful to hear, but all he did was heave a sigh and ignore it. The most he could do was move on and have some peaceful time for himself.

Alone.

Brandon started to take off some of his clothes, leaving him with a blouse and pants. The way he dressed changed when he came to his room to rest, to get comfortable and a little loose. He sat on his bed and lay down, his limbs spread out and only his breath echoed in the silent environment that was his room.

Hardly anyone passed by that place at that time.

Brandon's room was a little hidden in the mansion and was the last one in the hallway, making it quiet enough that if anyone arrives, it's only possible to know by the sounds of their footsteps on the wood. Green eyes were fixed on the ceiling, focused on the sight he'd seen during the ten years he'd lived in the county and knew so well, for the scratches on him kept him company during the dark nights he spent when he couldn't sleep.

The thoughts surrounding his head were so many, but it felt like his mind was blank. He didn't focus on anything that happened. Phillip and Johannes weren't someone he wanted to think about right now. Rest was the only thing he wanted for the short time he had.

'Let's not think about anything. Nor Phillip. Engagement. Or anything. Just nothing.'

It is unknown how much time passed, but footsteps were heard coming towards him.

Concentration was broken when his bedroom door opened and a purple-haired figure appeared, carrying a plate full of cookies and a glass full of water. His brown eyes were showing concern and his face was upset. James was standing there, looking at him, who wasn't making any face. It wasn't hard for Brandon to guess what James had come to do in his room. He used to bring some stuff to his room when he was younger too, when Brandon was sick or just spontaneity.

"Come in, James."

James entered the room and placed the items he carried on top of the table Brandon used when he had work for the night. The boy looked at the man lying on the bed, not changing the slight expression of concern that showed on his childish face.

"Are you okay?"

"Yea." Brandon smiles at him, to appease him.

The redhead sits on his bed, watching the purple one do the same with his chair. Brandon approaches where he is and picks up his plate, lifting one of the cookies to his lips and eating it. If he didn't do this in front of James, the boy wouldn't go out and would be upset that he didn't see him feed properly. It was something that always happened when he was younger and his habit hadn't changed.

"How was dinner?" Brandon said to end the silence between the two of them.

It was true that he didn't want to know, in part, about the two of them, but he was also curious about James' opinion and how the two really were. Contradictory, to say the least, but that was how he felt, with curiosity and sadness.

"It was good. The father gave a short speech about how proud he was of two boys and his mother spoke a few words too. Brother Ferion said he was happy to be back and so was Phillip." James smiled. "Then we ate and they were talking about the war, but when they weren't, Phillip and Johannes were talking to each other."

Brandon felt a bitter taste in his mouth, even though the cookies he was eating were sugary.

"The mother got curious and started asking Johannes some questions and the father also joined her, but they didn't find out many things. It seems like she was a commoner who lived in a town until she met Phillip."

"Commoner?" Brandon cocked his head, surprised by such information.

"Yea." James nodded. "I was also surprised that Phillip brought someone home and without noble birth. But it felt like it was right to assume that, as she's been wearing plain clothes since the campaign."

Then his memory is activated and he remembers how the woman was dressing during her arrival with the knights and Phillip. She wore a very simple garment for someone of noble birth. Brandon hadn't noticed this, as at the time he was shaken by what Phillip had done and his sadness at being betrayed.

"Brother." James called out to him and Brandon met his eyes, snapping out of his thoughts.

"What?"

"I was really upset that you didn't go. You should be with us eating there too. Mother wouldn't have stopped and neither would the father, I'm sure they would even agree. Even Ferion asked for you."

The boy crossed his arms and frowned at the man in front of him, who gave a sigh and smiled sympathetically.

"Sorry. I'm tired, I just wanted to go to bed soon."

Brandon recounted an excuse, which was a little far from the truth, taking another bite of the cookies the boy had brought. He continued.

"But I believe you had fun, seeing your brothers after so long."

"It was fun…" James muttered. "Only it would be better with you."

"Okay, okay." Brandon smiled, seeing what he was trying to do.

James looked away, a little embarrassed to keep repeating that. Brandon knew what he was doing, trying to get him to say he'd sit with them next time, but it was obvious he couldn't, and wouldn't say it.

'Sorry, James. But I won't say what you want.'

But the answer the boy wanted did not come.

Feeling a little bitter, Brandon finished the chocolate chip cookies, leaving only crumbs on his plate.

"I'll take you."

"Thanks."

James extends his hand, taking the plate and getting up from his chair. He hands Brandon the glass of water and waits for him to finish, then heads for the door.

"Goodnight."

"Good night James. Have sweet dreams."

The door closed. Brandon got up and locked it, sighing. How many times had he sighed that day? Even though the day was almost over, it wasn't good for her lungs. The bed welcomed him sweetly, comforting him as he tried to lie down. His eyes naturally shot up to the ceiling, returning to thoughts he'd managed not to think about before that visit.

Unlike before, his body felt heavier and his mind was no longer blank, in a state where he didn't think about anything. He went back to the conversation he had with James in his mind.

'So it is true…'

The fact that both have a good interaction with each other during the tightening in the chest region. The image he imagined of the two of them sitting side by side and laughing made his eyes water. And the memories she'd made of him came and went, only to intensify the feeling of heaviness.

Brandon had promised himself he wouldn't cry, but now that he was alone, he felt like he wasn't going to make it. That was why he spent all his time with James and the countess in the afternoon, to be professional and pretend it didn't get to him.

That he was strong and didn't regret the fact that the one he loved had found someone else. But he wasn't as strong as he tried to be. Brandon couldn't hold back and a few tears fell. Salt water crept from the corner of his eye and spilled onto the mattress.

Like a silent prayer to heaven, he continued to look there, expressing the pain and sadness he felt in his heart that had been gathering for three years.

Just like the first time he did it.

*

The worried and sad eyes were directed at the pale and sick figure lying on the bed under the white sheets. She coughed a few times, before her gaze wandered to the door that had creaked open and the boy's presence was noticed in the doorway. A weak smile was made and her eyes almost closed as she realized who it was. How not to smile, when that child was her greatest blessing? He was all she could ask for.

The young boy entered, sitting next to the figure who was a woman. Fine lines were seen under that skin that was not its natural color.

The once radiant and full of life woman was now like a candle almost at its end. The child's chest was heavy and his heart seemed to sink into the sea at the sight of the state of the woman he loved so much. A tear fell from her worried eyes, the green color glistening from the water and the ambient light.

The woman's thin hands lifted and brushed her tear-traced cheek. She expressed tremendous affection to the touch and the care she took for something precious. Her smile didn't leave her face, getting kinder the more time passed.

"Don't cry, honey." Her voice was soft but husky. The effort she was making was visible.

The boy placed his hand on top of her, wanting to feel the touch, as proof that she was still there. Even though his hands were shaking and cold, she was still there with him. He couldn't hold back and more tears rolled down her cheeks.

"I can not." His voice trembled between speech. "How can I not cry?"

"I don't want you to cry. The only thing I want to remember is you smiling."

The boy's hand tightened a little more. The tears fell even more and the woman's hand went to her hair, stroking it as he lowered his head and was crying into her other hand. The sobs got a little louder, but the woman didn't quench the smile on her face or the atmosphere around her, which was one of calm and gentleness, disappear. She continued to comfort him, with love and zeal for the light that was her world.

"You will have to be strong, my love. The world is not easy for anyone, especially people like you."

"No…" A low murmur came out.

"I want you to remember that I'll be watching you from above. From the stars. Every time you look up at the sky, I'll be there, looking right at you."

"Please…"

"That I'm proud of everything you've become so far and that I'll love you even when I'm gone."

The tone was so soft it scratched the red haired boy's heart. He couldn't understand how someone in this situation could be so calm. The woman in the bed was sick, almost without strength, and yet she wanted and managed to comfort him. With all the care and love, when he was supposed to be strong for her.

She lifted her chin carefully and the boy found with green eyes that she was looking at him tenderly.

"Brandon, you are my light. I don't want you to forget that. I want you to live up to what you believe in and that I will support you in whatever path you want to take."

"Mother… We can try a little harder. We can ask someone from the capital to come. Some mage or priest with more qualifications. Please don't give up…"

He asked. he begged. Her voice was full of pleading, despair and immense sadness to see her talking like that. But the woman's gaze did not waver.

"But don't give your heart to just anyone. You're a jewel that everyone would love to have. And I'm sure whoever is by your side will be lucky to recognize that."

The woman smiled. Her brown hair swayed a little as she leaned forward. A kiss was placed on his forehead, and he closed his eyes to the warm sensation he felt at the gesture.

"I love you my son." She said full of love.

"I love you too, Mom."

She gave him one last caress and closed her eyes, a serene expression on her face. The boy faced the woman who was lying there with a smile on his face, but when he noticed that something was wrong, he began to despair. Brandon's mother wasn't breathing anymore. As if she knew the time was coming, she said goodbye.

"Mother!"

A scream left her lips and tears began to fall again, one after the other. He hugged her and rested his ear to his chest over his heart, looking for a heartbeat, but nothing was heard.

"Mom, mom, mom, mom…"

He just stood there, crying and calling out to her, but not getting an answer back.