Carried by the waves

She lays there in the middle of the ocean at the crack of dawn being carried by the waves as her back is layed flat on her surfing board and her arms in the water as she stares at the seagulls flying above and the sun rising to light up the sky that once shone with stars, much like herself.

The stars she once longed to see disappearing infront of her and all she can do is watch as the sun rises and with it her stars fall.

Maybe she was a fool to believe that she can stare at the stars forever and forgot that the sun will always rise.

The wind was rocking her board as she lays there her wet swimsuit clinging to her back, hair sprawled out on the board with some locks lucky enough to escape into the water as they float there aimlessly.

The ocean was loud, loud enough to drown out her thoughts even for just an hour, here there was no carson ellis, no expectations, no duties, no vivian ellis.

Just her.

Just the waves that rock her back and forth.

Just the ocean and the seagulls above.

The events that lead to her being here in the middle of the ocean on a surfing board laying aimlessly were all a blurr.

Dinner.

Her mother.

The marriage.

They were all just fragments of her day that now float around the ocean carried away by the waves.

She couldnt take the loud cries in her head, the murmurs that speak of her lost dreams, her heart that was screaming in agony at her lost life.

She didn't know how she ended up here as it was all just blurred memories that seemed like they weren't hers, like she was watching someone else's life through a window, much like the birds outside her window she watches everyday.

Atticus Hayes.

Much to her demise atticus was not a person anyone wished to be with, maybe that's why she was chosen, they're much alike.

Atticus was a mystery to everyone, no one dared to speak of him, no rumors about him, no nothing.

He was like a person that didn't exist in this world never interacts with anyone unless needed, never attends any formal gatherings, he's like a ghost.

But a ghost that is feared by all, maybe that why no one talked about him, maybe it's not that he was invisible maybe it's that no one dared to speak his name afraid of what's to happen.

Atticus was known for his cold demeanor, the man never spoke a word yet always silenced the room upon his entry.

And she was to be married to him.

Why someone like himself agreed to such an absurd agreement is beyond her.

But maybe, just maybe there was a sliver of hope.

Maybe he wasn't as dark as everyone paints him, maybe being with him wasn't as bad as her current state.

Just maybe.

And yet all those maybes were the reason she's now here in this ocean lost, hope was an apple laced with poison.

It looked tempting enough to hold but once you bite into it, it'd be your demise.

No more.

That's the vow carson took upon herself that morning in the ocean.

She would no longer hope.

________

As she paddles out to the sea she bids goodbye to her safe haven, the only place she finds solace in, the closest she has come to a home.

As she reaches the shore she grabs her board and walks out of the ocean and into the sand facing away from her hopes that were left behind in the ocean to be carried away.

Walking back home was a journey she has repeated many times, the old cracked road by the forest, the park were kids were always playing inside and yet somehow no one was there, it was quiet.

As she reaches the paved path that eventually lead to the backyard of their house were a small shed was hidden.

A shed no one wanted, too dirty for her mother to even notice, much like carson, maybe that's why she was drawn to it in the first place.

She enters the small shed that was where she kept all her surfing equipment.

All her boards and swim suits.

She placed her board back in it's place and ruffled out of the swimsuit that was not too long ago wet by the ocean water but now completely dry from the sun rays leaving no trace of her earlier endeavors.

She puts on the dress lia put out for her the day before and walks back towards the mansion.

It was now half past six which meant that lia would be up in her room in about half an hour and she needed to be there by then.

She walked to the back of the mansion where an open window lies, the one she opened this morning to leave, the window led into one of the hallways that were quiet and led to the library of the house that no one visited hence the safest place for her to leave and enter from.

She latched onto the windowsill and pulled herself up and into the window frame jumping down as her feets finally touch the carpeted ground of the hallway, as she closes the window back up and turns around heading back up for her room.

This house has always seemed too cold for her, too empty.

The hallways that were supposed to be filled with pictures were empty with no memories to hold.

The marble floors that were cleaned everyday spotless with no signs of life.

That was the life she has grown to know.

Always perfect and nothing short of.

Just like she was expected to be.

As she entered her room she stripped the dress that she had never bothered changing out of the day before too preoccupied by her thoughts and marched into the bathroom closing the door behind her as she runs the water for a shower.

A knock interrupted her before she could hop into the shower indicating that lia has finally arrived.

"Ms. Ellis your mother has told me to inform you that today we're expecting a guest." Lia called out from behind the door.

"A guest?" She strangled out afraid of the answer that is to come next.

"Yes, Mr. Hayle is arriving today at the mansion and you're expected to be present."

The sounds around her drawl out as the realisation sets in.

She was no longer going to college, she was about to be married off to a person she has never met before, she was expected to behave and become a perfect wife for the rest of her life, there was no way out from her.

"I laid out your clothes for you Ms. Ellis you're expected at the breakfast table in an hour." She said sternly the warning left unsaid but clear as day in her tone.

She drags herself in the shower and let's the water engulf her hoping to drown her thoughts along with everything else.

How she wished she'd never returned from the ocean.

Even if it was for just another hour.