Chapter Three - Day 3: Pie and Perplexities

Day 3:

9:00 AM – Woke up to the smell of burning toast and the distant sound of Grog attempting to serenade the sunrise. Note to self: invest in earplugs. And fireproof curtains.

9:30 AM – Enjoyed a peaceful breakfast of leftover pie and questionable tea. Agnes is a saint. Grog tried to join in the meal with a concoction he called "Breakfast Surprise". I declined.

10:00 AM – Received a surprise visit from a traveling bard. He regaled me with tales of heroic deeds and epic battles, completely unaware that he was serenading the very villain he was singing about. The irony was not lost on me.

Interlude – Bard's Ballad:

Bard: [Strums lute dramatically] "Oh, Vortax the Devourer, with eyes of crimson fire, he terrorizes kingdoms, his wrath none can quell! But little does he know, within his heart burns a spark, a glimmer of goodness, a tale to tell!"

11:00 AM – Held a brainstorming session with the minions. Turns out, "How to Be Good 101" isn't in their skill set. Who knew?

12:00 PM – Decided to take matters into my own hands. Literally. Spent the afternoon planting flowers in the courtyard. Grog called it "suspicious activity". I called it "horticultural therapy".

2:00 PM – Heroes returned, as promised. This time with reinforcements. And a banner that read, "Death to Vortax! Long Live the Pie!" I'm not sure whether to be flattered or insulted.

Interlude – Villainous Monologue Attempt:

Vortax: "Ahem. Heroes! Prepare to face your doom at the hands of… uh… friendship and… stuff!" Heroes: [Exchange confused glances]

3:00 PM – Battle ensued. Swords clashed, spells flew, and I may have accidentally tripped over a garden gnome in the chaos. Heroic triumph was short-lived, however, as Grog unleashed his secret weapon: Grognog Stew. The heroes retreated, gagging and defeated.

4:00 PM – Celebrated victory with a slice of pie and a victory dance that can only be described as "uncoordinated". The minions joined in, albeit reluctantly. Turns out, evil minions aren't big fans of impromptu dance parties.

Interlude – Minion's Diary Entry:

Dear Diary, Today, boss defeated heroes with flowers and food. Not sure what's happening anymore. Send help.

6:00 PM – Agnes stopped by again, this time with a basket of freshly baked cookies. She's convinced I'm her grandson and that I have an insatiable sweet tooth. Who am I to argue?

8:00 PM – Reflecting on the day's events, I realized something profound: being good isn't about grand gestures or epic battles. It's about the little things. The smiles, the laughter, the shared moments of joy. And maybe, just maybe, that's enough to make a difference in this crazy world.

10:00 PM – Retreated to my chambers, content but cautious. The heroes may have retreated for now, but they'll be back. And when they return, I'll be ready. Ready to show them that even the most unlikely of villains can change for the better.

End of Day 3

Diary Commentary – Vortax (formerly known as Max):

Another day, another victory. Who knew defeating heroes could be so… wholesome? But beneath the laughter and the cookies lies a deeper truth: change is possible, even for someone like me. So bring it on, heroes. I've got flowers to plant and cookies to share. And maybe, just maybe, a future worth fighting for.