20. Chapter 20

Hi all! Thanks so much for all of the great reviews :) I actually had a note about a few of your reviews! Erin has already told Jay about her past (see Chapter 10) and her history with drugs - Hank just didn't know that Jay knew. He assumed she didn't tell him because she isn't one to share - but he doesn't realize how close they have become. Hope that clears things up! Thanks again for all of the feedback and reviews. You guys are amazing amazing amazing!

Chapter 20,

By the time Hank moved his SUV to the visitor's parking lot and tracked down Jay's car, he was running late. He arrived at the girl's school at 3:45 pm, and when he walked into the classroom he saw that Maddie and Grace were the only two students left. They were sitting at a table, coloring flowers, clearly distracted, and blissfully ignorant of the events of the day.

Annie, however, had a look of worry etched on her face and she rushed towards him immediately when he walked through the door.

"Did something happen? Where's Jay?" Jay and Samantha were both obsessive about being on time, and the only time Jay had ever been late, he called the phone in the classroom to let Annie know. Forty-five minutes before he was even due to pick Maddie up.

"Jay's fine." Physically, anyway. Hank was glad that Annie didn't seem to think to ask about Erin, so he wasn't going to have to lie. "I wanted to pick them up." Also not really a lie.

Annie scrunched her eyebrows and cocked her head to the side. She knew she wasn't getting the whole story. "The social worker from DCFS called me." She kept her voice low enough that the girls wouldn't hear. "She told me about Grace's placement. How it's going to be permanent." She left the rest of the statement unspoken. The part where she knew there was zero chance Jay would miss picking up the girls on today of all days.

Shit. "It's..." He chose his words carefully. He didn't want Annie to become alarmed in front of the girls. "It's a long story. One he will fill you in on later. But for now, I promise, he is fine." He drew out the last work, partly to convincer her, but partly to tell her that this conversation was over.

He walked over to where the girls were giggling and coloring at the table. "Maddie, Grace!" His voice may be low and gruff, but he knew how to talk to kids. He had a grandson of his own, after all. "Guess who's here to take you for ice cream!" He may not know Grace that well, but he had gotten to know Maddie very well in recent years and he knew that girl wasn't about to ask questions if it meant passing up ice cream.

He was right. "Sergeant Voight!" Maddie jumped out of her chair and rushed over to him. "What are you doing here?" The question came out high pitched and excited, not accusing at all.

"I'm here to pick up my favorite girls and take them for cheeseburgers and ice cream!"

Grace stood from the chair, a little more warily than Maddie had. She had seen Sergeant Voight at the police station the first night with Jay, and a few times since, but she still didn't feel completely comfortable around men she didn't know. For good reason.

"We're not your favorite girls, silly." Maddie said, walking to get her backpack from where it hung on the hook. Grace followed, carefully pulling on her new pink jacket before swinging her backpack over her shoulders.

"You're not?" He lifted Maddie into his arms and began to tickle her, then he reached out for Grace's hand to direct both girls out of the room. "Then who is?" He nodded towards Annie as they exited the classroom, and the three began walking down the long hallway towards the door.

"Erin is!"

Hank almost stopped walking at the sound of Erin's name. And he couldn't help the confused expression that shot across his face. "What?"

Maddie, now holding his hand tightly and walking down the corridor on her own, didn't seem to notice the way Hank's body had slowed. "You said she's your little girl. That means she's your favorite girl. Right?"

Oh, yeah. "Goodness, you are smart." He remembered that first night he had visited Halstead's home. He had walked in on Jay and Erin in the kitchen, the atmosphere charged the way it only was when people were actively resisting each other. That lasted long, he thought now, sarcastically. Except he was surprised at how okay with that he was. Halstead was a good man and Erin could do a lot worse.

For the first time since Hank had arrived at the school, Grace finally spoke, bringing him back to reality. "Where's daddy?"

Hank was surprised once again, but this time he didn't falter. He just continued to strap the girls into their car seats in the back of Jay's car. "He got held up at work, kiddo." Daddy. She was calling him daddy? "He's going to pick you up after dinner." It was strange, but he felt a sudden pang of emotion when he heard the word. Surprise, sure. But there was something else, too.

Maybe, just a hint of jealousy.

Just like he had said to Maddie and Grace, Erin was his little girl. She was his daughter. Blood or not, she was his. But she had never, not once, called him dad. It had never bothered him, not really. Well, not until this moment, right now.

When he slid into the drivers seat and began to buckle, he could hear the girls chattering in the backseat.

"Sergeant Voight is the boss of all the detectives and the officers. Like Uncle Adam and Uncle Tony. And even Daddy!" Maddie was explaining district 21 to the other four year old. "Everyone except for Sergeant Platt. She sits at the desk, and she gives me lollipops when I visit Daddy at work. I bet she would give you lollipops, too."

Grace smiled wide, "Really?" She loved lollipops. She used to get them when she went to the doctors with her mommy.

"Really." Maddie smiled back. Then she lowered her voice, and Hank had to strain to hear over the rumbling of the car engine. "Daddy says that Sergeant Voight never takes anyone for cheeseburgers and ice cream. So we must be really special."

It's true, Voight smiled as he listened to Maddie's words. They are.

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Erin woke up several hours later to find Jay snoring lightly beside her. His arms were draped gently over her body, and even though her ribs were a little sore, she didn't dare move him.

Instead, she turned her body slightly so that her body was facing his. She rested her nose against his chest and breathed in the scent of him. She let the familiar scent fill her lungs. The sharp pains were gone, leaving just a dull ache in their wake.

She had to admit the Percocet had done it's job, and her ribs really did feel better. Her headache was also mostly gone, which she suspected had something to do with the pain medication but also a lot to do with the return of normal breathing. Oxygen flowed freely through her entire body, and she felt better than she had all day.

She wanted to smile at that thought, but instead she let another deep sigh. She was such a bitch.

Jay had been worried about her, and she snapped at him. She had never, in her entire life, had a man worry about her as much as Jay seemed to. Well, except for Hank, but he was her father and so he didn't exactly count.

And even when she pushed him away, he hadn't gone. He must have stayed close by, waiting in the hospital until she fell asleep, and then snuck back in the room.

She made him sneak in. Jesus, she was the worst.

She looked at the clock on the wall of the hospital room, and registered that it was already 6:30 pm. She had been sleeping for more than two hours. No wonder she felt better.

She also realized that this meant the girls had been home from school for almost three hours. She and Jay were supposed to have been there. They had it all planned out. They had bought Grace's favorite ice cream and had it hidden in the back of the freezer.

Erin had also secretly made a cake she was planning to bring over in the case of good news. It was a homemade marble cake she had made yesterday morning. It was actually the reason she hadn't slept over the night before last. She wasn't usually a baker, and Hank had laughed at her determination as she measured each ingredient three times. She just wanted it to be perfect. Afterwards, she had spread chocolate icing over top and wrote in bright pink letters, "Welcome to your forever home, Grace!"

Grace couldn't read of course, the words were really more for Jay. Because she had all the faith in him in the world, and because she was so proud of him. He was really doing this. He was saving a girl's life. He was surrounding her with love and family and everything she would ever need.

Wow, I really am the worst.

Gone was the anger, gone was the pain, but it was now being replaced by an overwhelming sense of guilt, and a hint of fear. He had to forgive her. Right?

She needed to find out. "Jay," she brushed her fingers across his cheek, gently, trying to stir him awake. "Jay," she said again, a little louder this time.

His eyelids finally fluttered open and his blue eyes found hers. Yeah, she thought. He forgives me.

She leaned over and pressed her lips gently to his. She pulled away just an inch, and pressed her forehead against his. "I'm sorry," her voice felt raw, full of emotion. She hoped he knew how much she meant it. "I was..." she searched for the words. "I was just scared." It wasn't the greatest explanation or the greatest excuse, but it was the most true. "And I took it out on you."

"I know, baby." He stared into her eyes, and saw that her sparkle was slowly returning. So was the color in her cheeks. Thank God. "I'm sorry, too." Part of him was still glad his words had succeeded in making her take the medication, but he really was sorry for the way he had spoken to her. "But listen to me," he tucked his hand under her chin, careful not to touch the bandage on her jaw, "You have nothing to be scared of."

That's where he was wrong. "Jay," she shook her head slightly, satisfied once again when she realized the gesture hadn't brought on more pain. "You didn't see me last time." She closed her eyes, fighting the tears that threatened to spill again. "I don't want you to ever see me like that."

"It won't be like that this time." He was sure of it. "But even if it is," It wouldn't be. "I'm not going anywhere."

I love you. She almost said the words out loud. She felt them so deeply. But she couldn't say them yet. Not when she was lying in a hospital bed, when they were discussing her past and potentially future drug dependence.

Instead she just said, "You can't know that." That's what scared her most of all. Because it was the most true thing either one of them had said all day. They couldn't know.

"I do." He was resolute.

But he didn't know, couldn't know. Dealing with drug addicts was hard. And he had two beautiful little girls to think of. "Jay," she tried again, "You have Maddie and Grace to think of."

He didn't even need to search for a response, it just flowed out of his mouth. "They're all I'm thinking of." Them and you. It was the truth. "Maddie and Grace love you." I also love you. "You mean the world to us. To all of us." He watched a single tear trail down her cheek at his words, and he gently swiped it away with the pad of his thumb. "They need you." And I need you. "And you know what," his voice lightened slightly, "They're going to be your motivation to get through this. I know it."

She knew, in that moment, that he was right. She would do this for Maddie, and Grace, and Jay. Because she loved them. And because she wanted them to be a family.

This was her chance at a family, and she wasn't going to throw it away.

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Erin and Jay remained snuggled together on the hospital bed, waiting for her to be discharged from the ER. With the air finally clear between them, Erin was finally beginning to relax.

"Wait," she sat up suddenly, forgetting about her broken ribs. The pain seemed to return full force and she shuddered, "Owww." She drew the word out, almost like a sigh, then she closed her eyes, trying to will the pain away.

Jay sat up, but was careful not to touch her. "Are you okay?" He assumed the pain was from the sudden movement. But he was more concerned about the thoughts that triggered the sudden movement, the thoughts that had lifted her from her comfortable place in bed.

"Yeah," she sighed. "I'm okay." The pain was slowly subsiding again, and she turned towards Jay.

He was looking at her expectantly, nervously. "Okay, good." He didn't believe her. "But um... Wait, what?"

"Oh," she had almost forgotten, once again. "I wanted to tell you how happy I am for you."

His expression changed to one of deep confusion. What in the world was she talking about?

"Congratulations, Daddy." A genuine smile spread slowly across her cheeks and her dimples appeared deep in her cheeks. "Grace is so lucky to have you."

"Thank you," he replied, his words full of all the emotions from the day. The happiness, the love, the worry, the fear. But looking at Erin's hazel eyes smiling bright at him, the worry and fear began to subside, and his smile began to match hers. He leaned in and brushed his lips against hers.

Will chose that moment to walk into the hospital room. What was it with everyone and their timing? Couldn't his brother just let him kiss his girl in peace. Jesus.

"Sorry to interrupt, you two." He didn't sound sorry at all, Jay thought bitterly.

Will reached over and handed two more white pills to Erin. "Take these now, and then you'll take two more before you go to bed." Will was using his professional, no nonsense doctor tone, and Jay really loved him for it. Enough to forgive the earlier interruption.

Will turned to Jay, giving him the rest of the instructions. "Tomorrow, the first dose should be two pills." Will knew that Hank Voight would want a full report, and that he and Jay would be monitoring the pills. "After that, it's one pill every 4 hours. Before you leave, I'll give you enough for 3 days. Hopefully by then, you can switch the Ibuprofen." He turned to Erin, "If you need more after 3 days, you'll need to be seen in the office." Will knew he was being strict, and he was actually surprised by the grateful looks on both Jay and Erin's faces.

"I won't need more." Erin said, briskly.

Will believed her. "It's okay if you do, though."

"Thank you, Dr. Halstead." She said, taking the pills and swallowing them quickly. "Can you... uh..." She was a little embarrassed to ask the question, but she knew she needed to. "Can you just give the rest of the pills to Jay, please?"

"Of course," he replied, still in his doctor voice. But then he lightened it slightly, and Erin noticed that he, too, had that trademark Halstead grin. "But seriously, I think it's time you start calling me Will."

"Thanks, Will." She said, a shy smile on her lips. She knew he was trying to make her feel comfortable, but the reminder that he was in fact her boyfriend's brother and not just her doctor actually made her much less comfortable. She couldn't believe this was going to be his first impression of her.

"You're welcome," he said. "Now last thing before we can get you out of here, I need to teach you how to use this." He presented her with a long clear plastic tube. "It's called an incentive spirometer. It'll be an instrumental part of your recovery." She relaxed at his return to his professional voice. He showed her how to use the tube, how to inhale deeply and exhale deeply, her lips secure around the mouthpiece. "The power of your exhale will move the plastic to a number. I want you to do this three times at the beginning of every hour, and your breathing should improve throughout the days. If it goes down significantly at any time, call me."

She did a few practice breaths, and when Will seemed satisfied with her efforts, he left to go get the rest of the medications.

Jay looked down at the incentive spirometer. "The girls are going to love playing with this," he joked.

She looked at Jay, her eyes sad and her voice soft. "I was actually thinking it's probably best I stay with Hank during my recovery."

"What? Why?" But also, no.

"They shouldn't have to see me like this." I saw my mother battered and bruised too many times to count. I'm not doing that to them.

"We'll sit down and explain it to them." My girls can handle the conversation. They can't handle going days without seeing you.

"It's too scary for them."

This whole thing was too scary for me. "We'll talk to them together. It'll all be okay." I'm never letting you out of my sight again.

He pressed his lips gently against her forehead, to comfort her, but also to signal to her that this conversation was, in fact, over. She was coming home to him.

Will came in a few minutes later to bring Jay the rest of Erin's medication. Erin signed the discharge paperwork, and after Jay helped her back into a pair of scrubs to leave. Her clothes were torn and bloody, and she never wanted to put them on again.

It was dark by the time they left the hospital. The city skyline was illuminated, and it cast shadows as they walked to the car. Erin shivered from the cold, the scrubs paper thin against the wind. Unsure if the medicine had kicked in yet, Jay resisted wrapping her arms tightly around her body. Instead he handed her his coat to lay on top of her own. They walked hand in hand towards the parking lot, and Jay helped Erin up into Hank's large SUV.

When he walked around and slid into the driver's side, he noticed that Erin was looking out of the window, seemingly lost in thought. She had a sad look on her face, and he wanted more than anything to take her pain away.

He leaned over and kissed her gently on the cheek, hoping his words would do the trick. "Let's go home and see our girls."

Our girls. Erin looked at him, a look of wonder transforming her face. I like the sound of that.

And then, she couldn't hold it in any longer. The words tumbled out of her, and there was no way she would have been able to stop them, even if she wanted to. "I love you, Jay Halstead." She whispered.

Jay closed his eyes, trying to memorize this moment. The fluttering in his stomach, the love swelling in his heart. He opened his eyes and kissed her softly, before replying, "I love you, too."

xoxo

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Also - Unfortunately, I likely won't be able to upload a chapter tomorrow! I'll try my best, but I have a seriously busy day. SORRY IN ADVANCE :) Stay tuned for Thursday!