15. Chapter 15

Hi all :) Glad you all enjoyed the last chapter, and again, I really really appreciate all of your reviews! I've been feeling stressed with life recently, and writing a little bit everyday has really helped to take my mind off of everything... and the positive feedback seriously I can't tell you enough how happy it makes me to read them. Makes my day :)

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Chapter 15,

Erin felt the bed shake slightly beneath her the following morning, and before she even opened her eyes, she heard two whispering voices. She kept still, eyes closed, body still pressed against Jay's like a second skin, and listened.

"My mommy used to have sleepovers a lot," Grace whispered. She must have been talking to Maddie, and even though the voices were hushed, Erin could hear them clearly, both coming from Jay's side of the bed.

"Really?" Maddie asked, sounding shocked by Grace's words. "Like this?"

"Uh huh," Grace continued.

"Then what happened?" Maddie's voice was rising above a whisper, and Erin couldn't tell if it was out of excitement or if she was upset. She hoped it was excitement, but doubt crept in as she continued to listen with her eyes closed.

"Well, sometimes nothing. The sleepover would end and that would be it." Her voice started to waver, and somewhere during her speech, Jay woke up and began to listen intently, as well. "But the last time my mommy had a sleepover, it was with her boyfriend." Grace said boyfriend like it was a four letter word.

"Then what happened?" Maddie must have sensed it, too. She was a perceptive four year old.

"He moved in with us," Grace's voice became low and fearful, resembling her voice on the very first day she came to live with them.

"Was it bad?" Jay knew he should stop the conversation, should open his eyes and signal to the girls that he was, in fact, awake. He could feel Erin trembling slightly in his arms, and knew she must have been awake, as well.

"Umm..." She sniffled, and sounded like maybe she had been crying. Erin began to move, her instincts screaming to comfort her. Before either one of the girls noticed Erin's movements, Grace posed a question to Grace. "Do you remember when Erin told us about her mommy's friends? The ones that hurt her?"

Suddenly, Erin and Jay's eyes flew open and they bolted upright in bed. Erin was still wearing Jay's t-shirt from the night before, and had slipped on a pair of boxer shorts to go with them. Both appropriately clothed, they disentangled themselves from each other and began to get out of bed.

As Erin walked around the bed to reach them, Jay opened his mouth to speak, but before the words formed, Maddie ran out of the room in tears.

He turned to Erin, his eyes wide, and she nodded slowly towards the door, signaling that she would take care of Grace and he should tend to Maddie.

Jay found Maddie curled up in her bed, her torn pink bunny nestled in her arms. She rarely removed the pink bunny from the shelf, it had been her mother's as a child and, between the two of them, it was a little worse for wear. The only times she ever reached for the bunny was when she was missing her mother. Or the idea of her mother, anyway.

"Baby, I'm sorry I didn't tell you before Erin slept over." He brushed away her tears with the pad of his thumb, and then began slowly rubbing her back.

"Is Erin your girlfriend?" Maddie asked, her eyes still full of tears.

"She is," he said softly. "Is that okay with you?" He considered addressing what Grace had said, but wasn't sure it was necessary. Maddie and Grace both knew Erin would never hurt them. He would tell her over and over if she needed to hear it, but for some reason, he didn't think that was what was plaguing her.

"Daddy?" That didn't answer my question.

"Yeah, baby?"

"Grace is going to be my sister, right?" He felt relieved when he looked down and saw the smile that appeared slowly on her face. She was still clearly excited about that.

"I hope so, Mads." He had explained this before, but it never got any easier. "That's why Ms. Rachel was hear last night. She is going to help make sure Grace stays here and gets to be your sister."

She considered his words, and then closed her eyes. For the first time in four years, he could not tell what his daughter was thinking. It made him feel uncomfortable and out of place.

"Is Erin going to be my mommy?" Well, that he hadn't been expecting.

He took a few moments to think of how to word his answer. He was at a complete loss. Was this what was bothering her?

Before he had a chance, she continued to speak. "Because Emmy's daddy has a new baby and he doesn't even live with Emmy anymore. And Emmy overheard her mommy say it's because he has a new baby and a new girlfriend that he likes more."

Welp. There it is.

Fortunately, finding this response was as easy as breathing. He wrapped his little girl up in his arms and hugged her tightly as he spoke. "Maddie Halstead, you will always be my baby girl. You are the best thing I have ever done in my life, and I will love you and be here for you for the rest of your very long life. I promise."

Maddie continued to hug him fiercely, not wanting to be released from her daddy's strong arms. But the tears began to abate, and she finally spoke again. "Do you love Grace, too?"

He leaned Maddie back, and looked into her tear stained face as he replied. "I do." He did love Grace. He was surprised at just how much and how quickly he had fallen in love with the little girl. He had told this to Grace time and time again, but he was still waiting and hoping for the words to be reciprocated.

"Me too," she said, matter-of-factly. "And you want Grace to live with us, right?"

"Yes," he replied. He wasn't exactly sure where this was going, so even though he knew the answer, he posed the question anyway. "Do you still want Grace to live with us?"

"Yes," she whispered into his chest, but he could hear the smile in her voice. "Do you love Erin?"

The answer just came to him, and before he thought too much about his answer, he replied, "I do." He may have told Grace he loved her, but he had yet to tell Erin. He wasn't sure his heart could take it if she didn't respond in kind.

"Does that mean she is going to live with here, too?" And that's where that was going. Jay looked down at his daughter, and it was no longer fear in her eyes. It seemed to be a mix of curiosity, and maybe, possibly, excitement.

He leaned his forehead against his daughters and smiled. "Maybe one day, baby."

She just smiled back at him in response, her forehead still pressed firmly against his. "Do you think Erin will eat breakfast with us before school?"

He couldn't help the laugh that bubbled out of him at the way she changed her mood as quickly as she changed the subject.

His little girl was so grown up, and she had the most beautiful heart. They had been a duo for so long, and here she was, four years old, ready to welcome two new members into the fold. "I don't know," he replied. "You should ask her."

She scooted herself off of Jay's lap and slid down off of her bed. As she began to walk towards the door, Jay had an idea. "Hey, Mads?"

"Yeah, daddy?"

"Why don't you and I go for ice cream tonight? Just the two of us." Maybe it was exactly what she needed. A daddy-daughter night. His mother used to take him and Will out separately a lot when he was growing up, to foster their different interests and make them feel special as individuals. It was part of what made her such a fantastic mother.

"What? No!" Maddie shook her head fiercely. "We can't leave Grace! She has to come, too."

And that was what made Maddie such a fantastic daughter.

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Maddie had to go potty and insisted she could go by herself, so Jay walked out by himself to find Grace and Erin already in the kitchen. Erin had put on a pot of coffee and seemed to be searching the cabinets for breakfast cereal for Grace. He walked past her and pulled out the oatmeal.

"Wow, oatmeal for breakfast?" She smirked. "Your tough."

He laughed as he walked over to the fridge to pull out berries and apples. "They get fruit, too." He turned to Grace, who he noticed was being abnormally quiet. "You like oatmeal for breakfast, right Grace?"

Grace nodded her head twice before bursting out into tears. Not again.

Both Erin and Jay rushed to her side immediately. "What's wrong, sweetheart?" Jay asked, his arms automatically moving to her shoulders, hip lips automatically moving to the top of her head.

"Please don't hate me," was all she said as she cried and cried.

"What? I could never hate you. Why would you even think that, bug?" Jay asked incredulously. A headache was starting to slowly form between his eyes. This was a lot of excitement for one morning, and the smell of coffee wasn't the same as actually drinking it.

"Because I made Maddie cry."

"First of all, Maddie's fine." He brushed her hair away to reveal her tear streaked face. He looked her in the eyes as he spoke. "And second, I could never hate you. Never ever. I promise. I love you, Grace."

She sniffled back her tears. "I love you, too, Daddy."

Every time he thought he had reached a new high, a new insurmountable level of happiness in his life, something came along and brought him higher. He smiled so wide in that moment. Finally. The words he had been waiting to hear from her for weeks. He lifted her and squeezed her tight in his arms and tickled until she began to giggle uncontrollably. "Stop, Daddy!"

Maddie came out and he lifted her in his other arm, tickling them both at the same time. His girls. He kissed them both and, after continuous insisting on their part, placed them in their chairs, still smiling ear to ear.

He walked into the kitchen to finish preparing breakfast when Erin leaned over and whispered in his ear. "She called you Daddy!"

The shock and excitement in her voice made everything feel more real. "She told me she loved me," he whispered back.

Having Erin beside him in these moments made everything better and brighter. Caught up in the excitement, he leaned in and kissed her, in front of the girls and all.

Maddie's voice broke into their moment, and he released Erin from his kiss. "Can we have chocolate chip pancakes even though it's Tuesday?"

"Absolutely."

Two crying daughters and an "I love you" in one morning? Hell, he deserved pancakes, too.

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"Hi," Erin walked right into Jay's arms after what seemed like a never-ending day at work.

"Are you hungry?" He leaned down and kissed her gently, before directing her into the kitchen. "We missed you at dinner." It had been two weeks since the first morning Maddie and Grace had found her in Jay's bed, and since then, she spent more nights here than at Hank's.

"Are the girls asleep?" She sat down on the stool as Jay began to heat up a plate. The smell of chicken filled the air and it smelled divine. She hadn't realized just how hungry she was. And just how exhausted.

"Yeah, I put them down 20 minutes ago." He was standing by the microwave waiting for the food to be ready, but he was turned and looking towards Erin. She had shredded her jacket and shoes when she walked in, and she was wearing only a long sleeve green dress. Her hair was thrown together in a braid, but stray hairs were falling out and present around her neck and face. "They wanted to wait up to see you, so I had to bribe them with a second book, each, to get them settle down." As he spoke, he continued to take her in. Her makeup was almost completely gone from the day's wear, and she looked exhausted. Beautiful, of course, but exhausted. "This is what happens when you're not here in the morning. They miss you too much." I miss you too much.

Erin laughed, as she took the first bite of the delicious stir fry chicken. "I do have to go home sometimes, you know?" I wish I didn't. "All my clothes are there."

All of your clothes should be here. He held back the words, knowing it was probably too soon. "I know," he said, handing her a beer. He was still working on Grace moving in permanently. One thing at a time. "How was your day?"

"Rough," she sighed as she took a long sip of her beer. It was days like today that made her hate her job.

"Want to talk about it?" He knew she didn't. From what she had already told him on the phone, it was an awful situation. A child left alone, abandoned at school. No parent to pick him up at the end of the day.

"Not really," she looked at him then, smiling sadly, and seemed to be asking permission to not talk about her day.

He wanted to tell her that she didn't need to ask permission. She didn't need to tell him every detail of her bad days. Just as long as she came home to him when it was over.

Instead, he leaned over and kissed her gently on the forehead, hoping to convey his message without words.

"Tell me something," she said, as she breathed in his scent. He must have let the girls splash around during bath time, because along with his familiar smell was something faintly resembling their strawberry shampoo. She let the combination of Jay and Maddie and Grace relax her as she repeated the words. "Tell me something good."

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Hours later, Erin and Jay were tossing and turning under the blanket in attempt to sleep when Jay heard the ping of cellphone, signaling a new text message. Jay leaned over, and not giving his eyes any time to adjust to the light, opened his phone to read it.

Hank Voight to Group Message: Body at the Riverwalk. Meet near the docks in 30 minutes.

He checked the time, 3:30 am. Jesus. The last time he had checked the clock it was 3. He had barely slept a wink.

"Who is it?" Erin asked. He noticed right away that her voice wasn't raspier than usual, it wasn't throaty and full with sleep. She had been awake, too.

"Voight. We caught a new case. The team is meeting in 30 minutes." He sent Sam a quick text message and then put his phone back on his bedside table. Then, he wrapped his arm around her waist. Well, if we're both up... He began placing open mouth kisses on her neck down towards her collarbone.

"Jay!" She wriggled out from underneath him, even though she had been enjoying the warmth of his tongue on her neck. "Don't you have to go in to work?"

"Sam doesn't come before 5:30, Voight never expects me before 6. Dawson will just brief me when I get there." Voight was tough, and strict, and sometimes downright scary. But for some reason, he had also always been completely, over the top, understanding when it came to Jay being a single father. "Why don't we try and get a few more hours of sleep?"

Erin turned to face him and held her head up as she laid on her side. "Jay, go to work," she said. "It's not like either one of us is going to be able to get any sleep tonight anyway."

She was right, of course. But before he got a chance to agree, she added, "And text Sam back. Tell her I got it covered."

"You want to take the girls to school?" He asked. "Are you sure? They can be a handful in the morning." He wasn't sure why he was so surprised by her offer. He also wasn't sure why he was questioning it. She was a social worker. Of course she could handle two four year old girls.

"Yes," she leaned over and kissed him lightly. She kissed him with such familiarity, like she had done it one hundred times before, like she was going to do a million times more. "I'm sure." She shifted and placed her hand on his, "Besides it'll be a good distraction to work."

She was right. He wasn't going to be able to sleep tonight, and he was going to be a nervous wreck tomorrow.

Tomorrow was the day the judge would rule on Grace's case.

It was a huge day.

"Okay, You're right."

"I know I am." She planted one more kiss on his lips, then she patted his chest. "Now, go."

xoxo

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