Chapter 56: Bonus: Drinking Tropes

"Should we add a vegetarian option?"

"Mmm…" Haruhi nibbled at her bottom lip as she carefully looked among the large pile of wedding invites scattered across the table. Her fiancé watched in adoration as her eyes squinted a little in her concentration.

"Yes."

"Hm?"

The brunette gave Tamaki an 'are-you-serious' look, "I think we should add a vegetarian option. Just in case. Is Renge still trying that out?"

She received a head shake in return, "No. Remember how she helped Jin and Kyoya move into their new house, and your sister repaid everyone with a cookout?"

"Yeah."

"I found Renge on the other side of the house with a plate piled high with ribs." Tamaki shivered, "It was… a sight to see."

Haruhi winced, not really needing that mental image at the moment, before returning to the menu her husband-to-be was scribbling down, "So, not only do we have a vegetarian option, but we've got a sushi bar, some high end meat that you keep telling me about, a large wedding cake… Tamaki? What's this?" She pointed at a small note scribbled at the very bottom of the paper.

"Oh… that." The blond rubbed at the back of his head as he tried to find the best phrasing for his next suggestion. After being with Haruhi Fujioka for over five years, he had learned to be very cautious when bringing up new… perhaps somewhat risky ideas. "It was only a thought I had. When you agreed to have a more western-hemisphere-like wedding… I did some research in case anything had changed since I'd lived in France. And as it turns out, a lot of weddings these days have something called an 'open bar'. Basically, free alcohol for anyone who wants some." He shrugged, "Like I said, it was only an idea."

Haruhi tilted her head a little, "Why would you want one? I've never seen you drink anything harder than a wine cooler."

"Just because I'm not big into social drinking or bar nights doesn't mean we can't allow for our guests to cut loose. Look, let's just give the idea a chance to set in. We don't have to have one if we don't want one."

"But what of our guests?" Haruhi's brown eyes took on a more teasing twinkle, "Weren't you once a host , Tamaki? We're supposed to make every one of our guests happy."

Tamaki laughed and booped her nose, "Well, why don't we ask part of the bridal party? I know that Jin would be for it, but…" he trailed off, "Actually, I don't know what the others would say. I've never… seen them drink much of anything. I've only seen Kyoya have sips of wine before. Or was that champange?"

Haruhi hummed and sat down, tired of leaning over the table, "Well, it's not like we're around them 24/7… though we are cutting it kinda close. I know Nēchan's a fan of martini's, but other than that I've never seen her go out drinking. Perhaps she and Kyoya went out once on their Honeymoon?"

"You really think Kyoya would've risked not remembering a split second of his Honeymoon? In the Canary Isles? Come on, Haruhi, they almost didn't have one because he's CEO! I'd be surprised if they left their hotel room at all."

Haruhi clapped her hands over her ears, " I don't wanna hear it I don't wanna hear it I don't wanna hear about Kyoya having sex with my sister nope, nope, nope, nope! Lalalalalalaaa~ "

Tamaki laughed at his wife's faked childishness, "Well… it would be hard for them to make the decision if none of them have ever gone drinking."

"Tamaki… what are you thinking?"

The blond grinned, "I say we test whether our friends can hold their liquor."

"This is a bad idea."

Jin smiled before leaning against her husband's side, "Oh, lighten up, Kyoya. It could be fun."

"Then why are we being videotaped?"

The married couple looked in front of them and watched as Renge continued to fiddle with the four cameras she had set up around herself. She and the eight members of Ouran's original host club were sitting in Tamaki and Haruhi's living room, which had been rearranged to its current set up.

There were four tables set in a wide square, with Renge standing in the middle with her cameras, each of them pointing at a table. Jin and Kyoya were sitting with their backs to the wall that separated the living room from the kitchen. To their right was Tamaki and Haruhi. If they looked around Renge, they'd see Hikaru and Kaoru. And Mitsukuni and Takashi were on their left. Jin grinned when she noticed how her tallest friend was smiling to himself as he texted away on his phone. It was probably that baker girl she'd introduced to him at her wedding, the one whose company she'd bought her wedding cake from. It was so cute…

"To answer your question, Kyoya," Renge flicked a few dials here and there as she focused the camera facing them, "You might not appreciate it now, but in the future you're all going to want to look back on these moments when you were young and still enjoyed yourself before life as CEOs and parents wears you down."

"And that'll never happen to you, right, Renge? You're too free-spirited." Jin winked at the girl who flipped her off for a moment before returning to her cameras.

Chuckling at the antics of his wife and old friend, Kyoya draped his arm across the back of Jin's chair, "Alright. But can you at least promise me that you will not sell these tapes, or any copies of these tapes, or any scripts of these tapes? This had better not end up like that second movie you forced us to make in high school…"

The ravenet scowled a little at the memory. They'd probably sold that movie to almost every student at the school, and there was a scene or two that gave their guests a few… mixed feelings about their hosts. For example… a certain bedroom scene when they went to beach earlier on that year. Thank goodness for the blooper reel. It managed to cover up some of the seriousness and somehow convince the guests that parts of the movie had been written in for drama and effect. His reputation had been stabilized within a few hours, but those hours had been vaguely horrifying.

Renge lifted a hand to her heart, "I promise these will not been seen by anyone who is not present in this room."

"Good. Now, can I know what I'm going to be drinking?"

"Tequila." Tamaki's response got a few looks of concern, so he explained, "If we can handle some hard liquor, then we can handle a few mixed drinks at a wedding and not end up on the internet."

Jin winced, "Your reasoning might be a little off there, Tamaki. Tequila? Really?"

"Stop complaining, and let's get started!" Renge shouted and lifted a bottle filled with a gold colored liquid.

The twins leaned forward a little bit, "Oooo…"

"What's that one called?"

"Sauza. Tequila Gold." She poured herself a few sips before passing the bottle off to Haruhi and Tamaki. As the bottle makes its way around the tables, Jin eyes her glass of tequila.

"I think… we need to do shots with these… right? I mean, shouldn't we?" At her husband's judgemental glance, she lightly points his shoulder, "Oh, don't be so posh, Kyo, it's tequila! It's not a wine tasting tour! Come on…" She pouted at him while he watched Hikaru sneakily pour his brother nearly a third cup of tequila just across from them.

Of course… he couldn't avoid her forever.

"Fine." She grinned and picked up the glass, tapping it against Kyoya's before they shot the drink back. All around the Ootori's, the others drank their own glasses. Instantly there were some interesting faces.

Hikaru shook his head a bit, "Woah… I did not expect that."

"That was strong. "

Jin groaned, "Ugg… I think I've got a headache already." Beside her, her husband smirked and poked at her shoulder in a teasing form before gesturing for the bottle again.

"Should we do another?"

"Ah, no! I'll try the four, but my head's going to hate me…"

"I'll do another!"

"I was only kidding, Tamaki."

The blond didn't listen. He actually took the bottle from Hikaru and Kaoru's table and poured another small helping, to everyone's surprise. They could've sworn that he would've had the lowest tolerance of them all…

Hikaru smacked his lips together, "It takes beautiful… like a beautiful paint stripper."

"This is what love feels like. That's the closest comparison I can think of, anyways." Kaoru shook his head before quickly knocking back what was left in his glass.

"Haruhi! You haven't even finished your first drink!" Tamaki was putting the cap back on the bottle a little shakily, but that might've been because he was looking at his future wife instead.

The brunette lifted an eyebrow before responding, "It's not like I'd drink a lot at my own wedding. And we have three other tequilas to try."

"Fair." Tamaki quickly downed his second drink and nearly slammed the empty glass on the table, " Oh… "

"Was that one a mistake, Tamaki?"

" N-no… ugh, why is it so hot in here?" The man shucked off his light jacket before resettling himself in his chair.

Across from the blond and brunette, Takashi was still lightly sipping at his drink. Mitsukuni was wrinkling his nose at what was left in his glass. Clearly, he was not a fan.

"An interesting tang… smooth, yes, but with a hint of fire as it moves down the throat. Well made, and appeasing to the eye. I'd have it again." Takashi set his glass down and sat further back in his chair, unaware of the stares he was receiving from the others. While he rarely talked, only speaking when it was necessary or when he was tired, he'd never been so… philosophical before.

His cousin was the only one who didn't look surprised, "The only way I'd drink this again is from peer pressure. I prefer vodka." Mitsukuni shifted his drink towards Takashi, who picked it up and drank the last of it, neither of them acknowledging the way their friends were staring, "So, what's next?"

Renge blinked herself out of her stupor and grabbed the next bottle by her feet. It was a clear bottle this time, and seemed to catch the lights above them. Or was that the tequila?

"El Jimador. Tequila Blanco." This time she placed the bottle on Kyoya and Jin's table after pouring her own shot.

Jin whistled as she picked it up, "It looks elegant. Like a glass swan." Her husband shook his head, but didn't say anything as she poured the liquid into their glasses. From the other table, Mitsukuni made a small sound in the back of his throat.

"Oh… when it's clear that means it's hard, right?"

"I think so. Here."

The bottle made it's way around the tables a little slower than last time, but soon enough everyone had at least a small sip. Except for the twins. Kaoru had looked down just in time to realize how much Hikaru was giving him before snatching the bottle and repaying the favor.

"Huh. Hint of… smoky bacon. Everyone ready? Shots, shots, shots-shots-shots…" Jin swallowed her glass and almost spit it out. That was definitely a lot stronger than last time.

Hikaru did a full body shudder, "Oh, mama! " His brother coughed, nearly bending over the table.

"Tamaki? Your hands are shaking, are you okay?" The whole room looked over at Tamaki and Haruhi's table. Haruhi's glass was, once again, only barely sipped at, while the blond was holding his in the air and just staring at it, mouth open just a little.

When he noticed everyone's eyes on him, he jerked a bit, "Fine, fine… just, um, how much of this would you need to drink to… urm, die?"

Kyoya snorted, the hand that was wrapped around his wife slowly trailing up and down her left side, "More than that, Idiot. I don't think you're in trouble." Jin started giggled as her future brother-in-law nodded and quickly downed the rest of his drink. To her left, Takashi was mumbling another deep review about the drink, but no one was paying him any attention.

"Hoo~" Tamaki set his glass down hard, shaking his head like he was trying to get his bangs out of his eyes. He licked his lips. "Not bad…"

Jin started giggling harder, turning away from her sister's table when the blond started plucking at his shirt buttons.

"Tamaki? What are you doing? It's not that hot in here, we hardly ever touch the thermostat."

He smirked, "Well, perhaps I'm just too hot for clothes. Handsome and well-toned men shouldn't hide under bulky clothes. Especially not when their wives are present."

"Not your wife yet, buddy." Haruhi's eyes went a little wide as she turned away, trying to hide her embarrassment. Apparently, her fiancé was a lightweight.

Unfortunately, he didn't get the message. "Awww… what's the matter baby? Getting a little hot under th-WOAH!" Tamaki fell backwards off his chair, arms tangling in his half-unbuttoned shirt. Immediately, the twins started laughing like crazy.

"Wow! What an idiot! Were you seriously the club's president?" Kaoru cackled. Huh , Jin managed to think, He's the 'I hate you' guy. Gabriel Iglesias was right. But then Kyoya's fingers danced their way underneath her shirt hem, and she started giggling again.

Back across the room, the twins continued to laugh, even as Renge shakily grabbed the bottle from their table. She hiccuped slightly, and Hikaru's laughter cut off. He started staring ahead, very sober-like. It was a little concerning, but unfortunately all of those who would've been concerned were a little tipsy or otherwise preoccupied with getting Tamaki back in his chair with all of his clothes on.

"Next one is - hic - Arette. Anejo - hic - Tequila." Renge poured herself a small sip, hesitated, then added a bit more before passing it off to Mitsukuni, who was probably the most sober one among the group of friends after Haruhi. Or at least he was acting like it.

"Oh! There's a horse on this one! It's like, pressed into the bottle."

"Very classy," his cousin agreed, pushing his glass a little closer to the blond, "Could I get a little larger portion from this one? It looks very promising, and I'd rather have a chance at more than risking the twins draining the bottle."

Kaoru looked like he was ready to jump over the table and start throttling someone, but Hikaru quickly grabbed his brother before he could. Somehow, the bottle managed to make it all the way around and back to the Ootori's.

Jin took a sniff and quickly recoiled, "Oh noooo … It smells like that new house cleaner I bought last week!"

Frowning slightly at his friend's comment, Takashi lifted the glass and drank half of his portion. Pulling it away, he appeared to ponder the taste before making a gagging sound, his free hand coming up to cover his mouth. Renge was fanning her face in the middle of them all, her empty glass resting precariously on top of the camera facing the twins.

Jin and Kyoya quickly shot back the drink. They managed to get the glasses back on the tabletop before the kick hit, Jin coughing twice, her husband quickly taking in a deep breath even as his eyelashes fluttered.

Tamaki was, not surprisingly, taking off his shirt again, "We need to go out dancing somewhere after this." Haruhi didn't respond, a little busy blowing her nose and looking like she was trying not to fall asleep, but Kaoru did.

The boy stood up and grabbed his chair, hoisting it over his head, "Put your shirt back on, Asshole! Stop embarrassing yourself!" Before he could throw the furniture, Hikaru grabbed his brother around the chest and pulled him backwards, knocking his balance off and almost causing Kaoru to drop the chair on top of both of them.

"Kaoru? You okay?" Mitsukuni was bouncing a bit in his seat, like he needed to use the restroom, but he didn't seem bothered by it. His cousin was still swirling his drink, babbling incoherently, laughing softly on occasion, but seemed okay at the moment.

Hikaru was struggling to get Kaoru to sit back in his seat, but his voice was sort of flat as he responded, "It's alright. I should've expected this. As he's known as the 'calmer' twin by most of us here, I suppose Kaoru has a lot of anger and frustration that he usually keeps under wraps because he used to be too busy keeping me in line. This practice had continued into our adulthood, despite how our lives aren't as hard wired to each other's as before. Kaoru's subconscious is taking this moment of lack of cognitive activity to unleash itself. He should be back to normal by tomorrow. Kaoru? How do you feel?"

"My mouth tastes like blood." The boy glances up, looking a little lost now that he was sitting back down, "And could you not have sex in front of us?"

Kyoya and Jin didn't seem to hear him, the woman still giggling madly as her husband nibbled at her collarbone and earlobe, lips shaping whispered words into her ear that only caused her cheeks to get redder than they already were. Haruhi almost felt the need to vomit, and not from the alcohol, but thankfully she didn't need to actually say anything. Just as Kyoya's hand started to move further up Jin's thighs, she pushed at his hands, squirming a bit but still giggling.

And Kyoya, freaking, whined. A groan that was too high pitched to be a groan left his throat as he tugged at his wife slightly, seemingly trying to coax her into his lap. Jin waved a finger at him, but continued to smile as he went back to kissing at her neck.

In an attempt to get that mental video out of her head, Haruhi quickly turned back to Renge, "What's next, then?"

"Uh…" the French girl lifts the next bottle, which was in the fanciest bottle Haruhi had ever seen, "I dunno. I can't… the words are blurry." She pulled the cork out of the top, which made a really nice popping sound, and poured herself a decent glass before placing it between the twins.

Kaoru seemed to have gotten over his latest wave of anger and was observing the bottle with interest. "Don Julio. Well, this looks real fancy."

"It's like a genie is going to come out and start granting us wishes…" Hikaru barked out a crazy loud laugh at his own joke before going silent again. He watched passively as his brother poured them both, basically, half a glass of tequila before passing it on.

Other than the bottle almost being dropped between Jin and Mitsukuni, there were no incidents as the drink was passed around. Then, as one, they all took a drink.

"Bleck… gross!"

"No… no!"

"Eww, forget fancy, that was gross!"

Takashi chuckled a bit and set down his glass, "Oh, that is smooth… " He managed a smile before abruptly face planting the table. The snoring followed afterwards.

Ignoring that for the moment, Tamaki lifted his empty glass and announced, "So! Which was your favorite?"

Jin managed a giggly, "I dunno…" She lightly pushed at Kyoya's chest, even as the man wrapped her up in his arms, "I forgot wha' the ozzers tasted like."

"Well! Only one way to fix that!"

* A few minutes later *

He wasn't sure how it had happened, but Tamaki somehow found himself on the floor once again. Laughing at how ridiculous it was, even though he wasn't quite sure why it was so funny, he tried to stand up to get back into his chair, but something wasn't working properly.

"Haru-ru...hi? Lil' help?"

Despite the request, his wife didn't move. She was too busy staring at the her drink, head resting on the table as she poked at it, " Shiny… fairy… how'd you get stuck in the tequila? Huh? How'd tha' happen? "

She didn't even move when her sister and brother-in-law began stumbling from their own table, Jin's hands around her husband's wrist and pulling him towards the stairs, still giggling like a schoolgirl. Kyoya followed, only pausing long enough to grab Mitsukuni's glass and drain it before continuing after her.

The smaller boy didn't notice, too busy jumping over the tables in a circle, being as careful as a drunk person could be to not step on his cousin or on Haruhi. He was shouting something about being a majestic fucking bunny, but no one was really paying him any attention. Kaoru was passed out on the floor, halfway between his chair and the couches, on which his brother was already sound asleep.

Renge was sitting in the middle of her cameras, crying softly into her tequila, "You're all so amazing… I miss you all the time when I'm in France… we should do this more often… God, I love you all!"

And then she fell over.

* The Next Day *

"Oh… god. "

Jin stumbled out of one of the many bedrooms in her sister's house. Her hair was wet from the shower and her clothes from the day before were rumpled, but it was the shocking amount of hickies and bite marks that covered her neck that really would've captured some attention… if there were any attention to be had.

Her husband followed her out into the hallway, looking just as disheveled and marked up as she was. They passed the master bedroom, and both of them silently thanked their drunk selves for not choosing that room. That might've been awkward.

Below them, they could see Takashi still fast asleep at the table where they'd left him. Kaoru was groaning in pain from his couch, but before the couple could wonder where his brother had gone, the sound of retching was heard from the ground-floor's bathroom.

They went downstairs, pausing in the middle as Jin attempted to will away her pounding headache, her husband standing with her for moral support. When they reached the living room, Kyoya slipped into the kitchen, probably to make something to help soothe their stomachs, and Jin shakily made her way to the empty couch. Unfortunately, she sat down too quickly and her headache slashed through her right lobe.

" Nooo… "

" Tell me about it. "

From the second floor came the sound of another door opening. Tamaki and Haruhi shakily made their way downstairs. Renge groggily lifted herself into a sitting position from her place on the floor. Jin hadn't seen her there, because she'd been surrounded by her cameras.

As her sister sat beside her, Jin pressed against the sides of her head, like she was trying to suppress the ache, " Ugh… I feel like I'm 20 again… trying alcohol for the first time. "

" You had alcohol before you were 20. "

" Yeah, but not… excessively. "

" I think I'm still legally drunk. " Tamaki threw in before slowly curling into a little ball on the floor, hugging his stomach. They faintly heard the noise of Hikaru getting sick once again.

" Well, I feel great. " Kyoya stepped out of the kitchen, carrying a small tray of tea over to the others and setting it down on one of the coffee tables, " I took a jog around the neighborhood this morning. "

" Really? "

" No, " Jin mumbled, grabbing one of the cups, " He threw up while I was taking a shower, then joined me, then had to crawl back out of the shower to throw up again. "

From the second floor's balcony, they heard another pair of footsteps making their way down the stairs. Mitsukuni was holding onto the railing like his life depended on it. He blearily looked over his other friends, and then his sleeping cousin.

" Huh… I thought Kyoya and Jin would've been the last ones up. How late did you stay up? "

The couple blushed, which didn't help the headaches. Jin shifted a bit in her seat, " I don't remember. Probably one, at the latest. "

" Might've been one-thirty. "

They turned around at the sound of the bathroom door opening, Hikaru clutching at the doorframe and staring out at them all, " Well… at least some of us had a good time. Who wants painkillers? Except you, Tamaki. If you're still drunk, I don't feel like being charged for homicide. "

* Time Skip *

By the time Takashi woke up around two in the afternoon, Renge had managed to splice the videos together on her laptop. And thus, the miracle of painkillers, hot tea, and time for the alcohol to work out of your system.

The tall boy yawned and sat up, looking almost surprised to see the others standing around him. Most of the right side of his face was a deep red shade from the press of wood against it all night, but otherwise he looked completely fine.

He looked down at the hot tea and painkillers laid out next to him, nodded towards Kyoya, and picked up the tea… but not the pills.

Jin blinked, "Do you… not have a headache?"

Takashi shook his head.

"You don't… feel sick at all? No hangover?" When Hikaru only got another shake of the head, he pounded a fist against the wall, "You fucker! I was in that bathroom, gagging , for hours! And you don't even have a heada- fuck that! That's some major-"

"Hikaru, let's just watch the video now that Takashi's awake? You can be mad at him later for his metabolism that is, apparently, to kill for." Jin shook her head, "I'm kinda nervous."

And, as it turned out, she had every right to be.

Halfway through, Kaoru started apologizing to everyone, quickly followed by Kyoya and Jin, respectively. Tamaki went completely red when he saw his shirt come off and actually turned around in his chair. A few of them managed to laugh, but eventually they all sort of… tapered off. Takashi put his face in his hands when he face planted the table.

As the video ended, everyone was silent.

Hikaru spoke first, slowly getting up from his chair, "Yup. Definitely need to throw up again. Buuuuut, I think I'll just do that when I get back to my own house." He walked to the front door, leading to the others slowly gathering their things and leaving the Suoh household, waving their goodbyes before shutting the door.

Tamaki and Haruhi were quiet for a moment.

"Do you think Jin and Kyoya will get weird looks on the train?"

"They drove here, I'm pretty sure."

"Oh. Good." Tamaki twiddled his thumbs a bit, "So… no open bar, then?"

"No open bar. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to take another shower after watching that.