Inside Stories

In any conversation, there is a high point. There might be multiple memorable points, but by definition, one part is the best and highest. This can take many different forms. You can share a big laugh. You can both get emotional and cry. You share a strong perspective on an issue that no one else does. You witness something either horrifying or hilarious together. You both struggle not to laugh when you observe something. You finish each other's sentences. Most of the time, if you do it correctly, your stories become high points because of the emotional impact and pure intrigue you can use them to create. This makes it easy because you are planting the seed of connection for you to harvest later. Coincidentally, calling back to this high point later is what a deconstructed inside joke looks like. Therefore, to easily create an inside joke, all you have to do is refer to the high point later in the conversation. Take note of it and put it in your pocket for use in the near future. Don't let it go sour like month-old milk that you're afraid to throw away because of the smell. Assuming that you told a good story or elicited a good story earlier in the conversation, all you need to do is refer to it in the context of your current topic. For example, you told a story about your favorite kind of dog earlier in the conversation. There was a high point about comparing yourself to a wiener dog because your shape makes it unavoidable. Now your current topic of conversation is fashion, personal style and different types of jackets. How do you call back to the wiener dog high point by referring to it in the context of jackets? "Yeah, unfortunately, I can't wear that type of jacket because I'm mostly similar to the wiener dog, remember?" Bring up the first topic, hopefully the topic of your story, and then use it in the current subject. You are repeating the old topic in a new context, and this tends to be better received, even if it wasn't funny the first time. And the best part is that you can keep doing this with the same thing to create an even stronger unique bond (inside joke!). Listen for something funny or notable that you would classify as a conversational high point. Keep it in your pocket. Wait like a cheetah in the tall grass of the savannah to see a different context or topic you can repeat it in. And then unleash it. Here's another example. Prior conversational high point: a story about hating parking lots. Current topic of conversation: the weather. Callback: Yeah, the rain will definitely be welcome when we can't find parking spots within ten blocks of our apartment. And here's one more: Prior conversational high point: a story about loving donuts. Current topic of conversation: hating work. Callback: Well what if your office provided free donuts? How many would you need to change your opinion of work? In the same way an orchestra conductor can hit the same high musical motif through different arrangements and songs, you can keep referring to this conversation high point. Voila, you've just created an inside joke from thin air.