Entry No : 372

I am scared, relieved, and so madly and deeply in love with River. Finally, she trusted me enough to share her traumatic past, and it has changed my world forever. I could never have imagined the struggles and mishaps she had endured at such a young age. How could someone so fragile have carried the weight of a thousand lifetimes on her shoulders? She's not just my love now; she's my inspiration.

The thought of enduring what she went through sends shivers down my spine. Could I ever recover from such a devastating situation? Yet, there she stands, driven by sheer determination. She not only rebuilt her shattered life but transformed it into something extraordinary. If I believed she was strong before, witnessing what she has achieved now has left me dumbfounded.

Does she realize how much of an idol she is? Every time I look at her, I am astounded by her personality. My love for her is overwhelming, bringing both joy and pain. I am wholly devoted to her, and I will never leave her unless she asks me to. Though I offered myself as a best friend, deep down, I crave more. Fortunately, I suppressed those words to avoid alarming or upsetting her. We have come a long way, and in my soul, I am confident I can withstand any hardship for the chance of something more. I love her so much that writing this makes me cringe, but I can't stop myself. All I want is to be by her side for life, if the universe permits.

She invited me to spend the night with her, and my heart races at the thought of being in her presence, feeling her warmth against my skin. But I am also scared sh*tless. The longer I stay by her side, the more my walls of self-restraint crumble, tempting me to reveal my hidden feelings. She's my kryptonite, my ultimate weakness, and I fear I am on the brink of confessing everything to her.

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