Chapter 8

"Wake up!!!" I hear someone in my room.

I quickly open my eyes and check the time. Oh shit. It's past 7am already.

"You're going to be late for your first day of senior year." Sophia says.

It's been a few weeks and the summer has ended. I still couldn't reach Katelyn's. Went by her house a few times, called her a few times, no answer. I guess I've been ghosted. I knew from the beginning that it was too good to be true. Well, it's my first day of senior year and I have to mentally and emotionally prepare myself.

"Leave my room please. I have to get ready." I sag to Sophia.

I walk into the bathroom and to take a quick shower. I feel the cold water as it slaps my skin. My dirty slate of a body being wiped clean and all I can think about is Katelyn. I didn't know her for very long but she's somehow stuck in my head. After showering, I throw on an oversized hoodie and jeans on my body and slip on a Nike air then pack my hair in a ponytail.

I walk downstairs and see Sophia standing at the door. "Uhh..what's up?" I ask.

"I have a surprise for you. It's from mom and dad."

I hear keys jingling. What could the surprise be?

Sophia opens the door and I see a new black jeep parked in our garage next to Sophia's car.

Sophia points to the car. "This is yours!!" She tosses the key to me.

"Is thus mom and dad's way of saying 'Theresa I'm sorry we haven't been here for you since your surgery or since ever?' I feel disgusted right now. Here, take the keys." I toss the keys back to Sophia. "I'm going to catch my bus." I walk out of the door.

*

*

*

---

I arrive at school and I see cheerleaders dancing at the school entrance with drums being been and everyone screaming "Senior year!" I just walk pass and enter the school, making my way to my new locker.

I finally see locker 39. That's mine. I get there and as I'm about to open the locker, I hear a female voice. "Hey that's my locker."

I turn around and I see a black girl with long and curly hair. Her eyelashes are long and thick, her eyes are light brown and she has her lips glossed up. I can't help but admire her slim thicc body. She's a goddess. "Uh..hello??"

"Oh sorry" I snap back. "I was also assigned this locker, locker 39" I say .

"Oh sorry. We should probably go to the administration office for this" she says and starts walking towards the office. She turns around.."You coming?"

"Yes" I catch up to her.

We both went to the administration office and the man told his er have to share the locker till more lockers are installed because there are not enough lockers.

The girl pushes the door open. "Arghhh! I can't believe I have to share a locker. I need privacy!!"

"It's also affecting me so if you're looking for what or whom to vent your anger on then you're in the wrong place" I say to her.

"Chill modern barbie. I didn't mean it like that. And damn, you're fierce. I like it." She stretches out her hand for an handshake. "I'm Charlotte."

"I'm Theresa."

"I have a feeling we'll get along really well." The bell rings. " oop, that's the bell. Gotta go. See you later barbie." She says and takes off.

*

*

*

-----

I'm in class and my head starts to ache badly like a whole mountain of rock is falling on my head. I raise my hand. "Excuse me, sir. I have to use the restroom." I ask for permission.

"Ohhh..looks like mother Theresa has got her period" Bryce says. Bryce is one of the most popular guys in school. And yes I'm back to being bullied.

"Shut up Bryce. You can go Miss Theresa." The teacher says.

I run out of the class and straight to my locker to take my pain killers. I feel nauseous, like the world is caving in. I open my locker and take out some pills and the bell immediately goes off. I quickly throw the pills into my mouth and swallow it.

I see Charlotte walking toward me. "Hey roomie."

"Hey. How was class?" I ask, pretending to be interested.

"It was awful. Drama class is the worst. Everyone was being so dramatic."

"I think that's the whole point. You know, it's called drama class."

"Oh yes. You're a genius Theresa. Wanna grab lunch with me?" Charlotte asks.

All I want to do right now is sit in the bathroom and sob about my sad life but I guess grabbing lunch with the person I'm sharing a locker with won't hurt.

*

*

*

"These burgers are so good" Charlotte says with food in her mouth.

"Yeah I know right"

I see Sophie and Cassie walking by. They're the last people I want to see now.They always remind me of my insecurities.

"Look, Sophie. It's Mother Theresa." Sophie loudly whispers to Cassie.

"She's so fat and she's always eating cheeseburger. Disgusting" Cassie says and walks up to me. "Maybe you should calm down. You're fat and disgusting. Look at your hair...brunette and ugly."

Tears are packed in my eyes and I can't say anything. I stand up and run to the bathroom.

I look at myself in the mirror and I hate myself. I hate what I see. I pull up my sweatshirt and I start to feel the a mouth of flesh in my upper body. I'm disgusting.

I open a toilet door and fall on the ground. I put two fingers into my mouth, deep down my throat until the fold I ate starts to rush back out of my mouth.

I want to be beautiful. I want to be slim like the other girls. I want to feel beautiful. Who am I? I can do nothing but cry at the moment. I take off the band I used to pack my hair and I let my hair fall. I wipe my tears, wash my face and walk out of the bathroom.

"Hey girl, I've been looking for you." Charlotte says.

"I was just cleaning out a stain I had on my shirt"

"I hope what those girls said aren't bothering you?" Charlotte asks. I guess she's caring.

"Of course not. They're just people. They can't define me." I say, I lie.

The bell rings and we both head to our separate classes.

*

*

*

*

It's been a long day and school is over for the day. I'm so tired. I have to head home. I sit at the bus stop waiting for my bus.

I start thinking about what those girls said about me. I mean, I kind of need a change. I order an uber to take me to one of the best salons in the town.

My uber finally arrives at Avey lane. Is this what I really want? I hesitate to walk into the salon. Yes, it's what I want. I walk into the salon.

"Good afternoon ma'am. What may we do for you?" One of the stylists asks.

"I'd like the dye my hair blonde please" I say.

"Okay sure, take a seat."

Immediately a lady starts attending to me. I feel her hand on my hair and it hurts. It hurts so bad. Not physically, buy emotionally.

Individual power, self confidence, decision. It's all determined by society. Some of us don't get to chose what we want. Some of us get to choose for other. To feel among is to do what they want. I've always wanted to tell me how beautiful I was. Now I have someone to tell me what to do to be beautiful and I'm going to do it. Sometimes, we just have to do what society wants us to do.

*

*

I finish with my hair and I pay them. I walk out and i see Katelyn standing with her car.

"Hey Theresa."

What the hell.