Chapter 14

Can beasts get drunk too?

Animals in the wild would unanimously agree that they can.

You might wonder how creatures without hands or feet can get drunk, but surprisingly, natural alcohol exists in the wild.

Alcohol is produced when sugars ferment.

Neglected fruits on trees, sticky tree sap, and honey-infused rotten flowers are typical sources of natural alcohol.

Of course, this natural alcohol is not easily produced, and the quantities are quite small.

It's hardly enough for regular drinking and revelry.

However, once beasts acquire a taste for alcohol, they become connoisseurs of human-made liquor.

Whether they obtain it willingly, steal it secretly, or even break into homes to snatch it.

Beasts that know the taste of alcohol can gulp it down quite effectively.

Much like the Drake in front of him.

[Ha, haha! This is great! Alcohol, I love it!]

Drake babbled in his drunken state.

Despite nearly finishing the entire cartload of alcohol, he didn't collapse, showing his remarkable tolerance.

Initially, Drake was indifferent upon seeing the pile of alcohol before him.

[A modest gift, isn't it.]

Classic beastly behavior from Drake, judging the quantity first.

Ian responded calmly,

"[Isn't it typical for precious things to be scarce?]"

It was a clichéd sweet talk, but partly true.

The alcohol brought by the workers was a prized possession secretly hoarded by village brewing masters.

Sadly, the masters' wives had traded them for things like iron pots, and the drinks had ended up in the merchants' hands.

And, as expected from a village nestled against a hill, there was a particularly high proportion of honey liquor.

Honey liquor might sound like a sweet beverage, but it's actually a potent spirit.

Again, alcohol is produced when sugar decomposes.

Meaning, the sweeter the raw material, the higher the alcohol content.

In this medieval fantasy world, the most commonly enjoyed drink is beer, with a very low alcohol content, due to limited brewing technology.

Had the workers brought ordinary beer, Drake might have crushed Ian underfoot, scoffing at the weak drink.

But what was piled before Drake was the valuable honey liquor.

"[Would you like a drink?]"

[It smells a bit off... You're not playing any tricks, are you, wizard?]

Ian demonstrated by taking a sip first.

It felt like his esophagus was burning.

No doubt, it was a terribly strong liquor.

After seeing Ian was fine, Drake tentatively licked the liquor.

[Hmm... It tastes as strange as it smells. Seems like it's gone off.]

Despite grumbling about the odd taste and seemingly spoiled nature, Drake emptied a bottle cleanly.

"[How do you find it?]"

Ian waited for Drake's reaction, maintaining his smile.

Drake seemed displeased with Ian's gift, grumbling in a disappointed tone.

[This isn't exactly delicious food. Do humans really value this stuff?]

"[Yes, they do.]"

[Well, I appreciate the gesture of offering something valuable.]

Drake's reaction was ambiguous.

It was like gaining a meager +1 point.

'... But I have to keep going.'

Trusting the advice of a summoner named Demonite, Ian decided to continue the drinking session.

In truth, he trusted his Level 3 summoning skills more than this Demonite fellow.

"[Have another drink. This one will taste better than the last.]"

[Hmm? Really?]

Enticed by the promise of a tastier drink, Drake eagerly licked his lips.

This time, it was wine.

The wine seemed to suit Drake's palate better than the honey liquor, and he happily gulped down what Ian offered.

After three, four, five bottles...

Drake, initially indifferent, began to show a reaction.

[Strange... I feel quite good...!]

'Is he drunk?'

After downing six bottles, Drake finally started to enjoy itself.

[Hahaha! Wizard! You've brought some strange stuff! Amazing!]

"[Do you like my gift?]"

[Yes! I like it!]

Drunk Drake cheerfully finished off the remaining wine.

Watching Drake in his drunken state, Ian felt a strange sense of accomplishment.

'Well, bears get drunk. Elephants get drunk. Why not?'

Even though he was a creature from a fantasy world, it seemed his nervous system wasn't immune to alcohol.

'Halfway there...'

Having gained Drake's favor with the gift, just a bit more effort and Ian would be free.

"[Drake, are you feeling better now?]"

[Ha, ha... Feeling? Yes... I've had some nasty experiences recently. Damn it!]

Drake snorted and leaned in close to Ian.

Ian saw a bit of an 'ajusshi' (middle-aged man) in the drunken Drake.

'Could it be...'

Being drunk makes it hard to control emotions.

One might laugh and chat over trivial things, but also get angry or depressed over them.

And when someone in a bad mood gets drunk...

They usually make a scene.

[There's this female down in the village below, you see?]

"[Are you talking about a drake?]"

[Of course, a drake. Did you think I meant a human woman?]

That made sense.

Ian nodded.

[She has shimmering scales and a very delicate voice... a truly lovely lady.]

"[Ah... I see.]"

[It's mating season for both of us... I tried talking to her, you know?]

Ian couldn't believe what he was hearing but didn't show it.

He mentioned having a bad experience recently.

But who would have thought it'd be a love story?

A tale of a giant lizard's mating woes was perhaps interesting to other scaly creatures, but it stirred no emotion in Ian.

But Drake, drunk as he was, excitedly rambled on about his own concerns.

[At first, she seemed interested in me. I showed her my nest, and the mood was great. But then that woman...! Suddenly she's frolicking with some feeble-looking guy!]

"..."

Oh dear.

Lizard NTR, that's heart-wrenching.

[I was so frustrated, I confronted her. What does she see in that guy that's better than me!]

Ian almost fell for Drake's assertiveness.

Oh my, such a manly man!

This oppa!

[But what she said...! Ahhh!]

"[Calm down. Tell me, what did that cunning woman say?]"

[She said my nest! My nest is too small and rough to live in together!]

Drake wailed sorrowfully.

Startled, Rick and the workers hugged each other, trembling.

The workers' eyes asked:

...Is it over, Wizard?

Ian's eyes shot back a response like cursing.

Not even close.

He's just getting drunk and whining.

"[That's terrible. I'm sorry to hear that.]"

[The nerve! Playing with my feelings! In the end, she chose someone with a bigger, better nest!]

Ian sighed deeply.

A mix of pity and relief.

He pitied himself for almost getting killed by Drake, who was upset over a woman.

But he also felt relief, understanding the emotional hurt Drake experienced.

"[I can understand her perspective.]"

[What? You! Are you taking her side? That awful woman's side!]

Drake growled threateningly, causing the workers to panic again.

Knowing the context, Ian was unfazed, but for ordinary humans, it must feel like their lives were hanging by a thread.

Regardless, Ian calmly continued.

"[It's the same with humans. During youthful romance, a mere glance is enough to fall deeply in love. But when it's time to raise a family, one has to think of a realistic future.]"

[But...]

"[Put yourself in the female drake's shoes. Would you want your child to grow up in a house as big as a 50-square-meter soccer field, or in a cramped room costing 15,000 won a month?]"

[Ugh... Ahhh...]

Drake shed tears the size of chicken droppings.

He might not have understood the specifics about 50 square meters or 15,000 won, but the general idea was conveyed.

That's the perk of being Level 3 in summoning.

[But...! My nest is the best you can find around here! It's clean, quiet, not damp! And there are hardly any humans, how great is that!]

His last words were almost a wail, causing the workers to shiver like quaking aspen.

Ian pondered for a moment.

As a modern man, Ian began to feel a bit sorry for the giant lizard who had lost his girlfriend to NTR.

Imagining your girlfriend leaving you over a house issue...

'Sorry, honey! I just don't feel anything looking at your semi-basement apartment! Now, I can't live without a Gangnam apartment!!!'

Chilling.

Ian nodded in agreement.

Although the analogy was a bit extreme, the pain caused by housing issues was real.

Whether for citizens of South Korea or for Drake.

It always came down to housing.

"[Drake, please don't cry.]"

[...?]

"[Just renovate that nest of yours. Even a bad house can become YouTube-worthy with some remodeling and interior work.]"

[There are many words I don't understand... So, you mean to renovate my nest? Is that what you're saying?]

"[Exactly.]"

Drake asked incredulously.

[Is that... possible?]

Ian snapped his fingers lightly.

At that moment, Drake realized.

There was an unfathomable mystery associated with this young wizard.

"[Turning the impossible into possible. Isn't that what a wizard does?]"

An indescribable emotion swelled in Drake's chest.

[If you fix my house, I'll never forget this favor!]

Ian smiled wryly.

"[Let's go to your nest together.]"

"... So, you all can go ahead."

After promising to help with Drake's nest, Ian led the people and travelers down the path.

As soon as they reached the wagon, everyone collapsed on the ground, groaning as if dying.

Though they hadn't done anything, just being in the same space as Drake had stressed them out immensely.

As soon as Ian finished speaking, he was engulfed in a soft embrace.

"Aaah! Wizard! Wizard!"

"What's all this fuss about?"

"Waaah~ I really thought I was going to die! No, I definitely died mentally!"

Emily hugged Ian, crying out.

Usually, Ian would have told her to stop overreacting, but seeing her genuinely happy to be alive softened his heart.

It was the constant clinging and begging for attention that was irritating.

But this hug, Ian didn't mind it.

"Wizard!"

As Emily started her ruckus, others joined in the commotion.

Leader Rick led the charge.

"Wizard, you are our hero!"

"Absolutely! Wizard, you are the savior of our lives!"

The workers each vied to express how cool Ian had been, and how close they had come to a total meltdown.

To summarize their sentiments:

'From today, we move beyond the superior-subordinate relationship with the wizard, to become one with Ian Eredith Raven. Any attack on the wizard is an attack on us. End of statement.'

...

'Ridiculous...'

All Ian had done was listen to the pathetic Drake's worries and promised a bit of help.

But to ordinary people, it looked completely different.

'Ian Eredith Raven, the Great Wizard, engaged in a deep conversation with Drake, using his extraordinary abilities! And that too, over a shared drink!'

'When Drake roared fiercely, Wizard Ian scolded him!'

'Touched by the Wizard's reprimand, Drake wept and reflected on his mistakes!'

People couldn't help but admire the mysterious abilities of a wizard who, with just a few words, managed to send away the fearsome Drake, a monster even an army might struggle to drive off.

"Wizard! Long live! Long live Ian!"

"Ah, jeez. Stop it now! We're not done yet!"

In truth, only Ian's work was not finished; the rest had been given permission to leave.

Therefore, everyone but Ian was in high spirits.

"Typical of the Wizard! Always so eccentric!"

"As eccentric as his skills! Hahaha!"

"..."

Are they nuts?

Due to the erroneous rumor that more skilled wizards are more eccentric, people didn't take Ian's words seriously no matter what he said.

"Rick, go see where the mercenaries have gone. If they're alive, bring them back. The rest of you, prepare to leave. Don't go ahead without me while I'm away."

"Yes, Wizard!"

Ian set off to finish his task at Drake's nest.

The others went to look for the missing mercenaries.

Maybe because everyone was so busy...

No one noticed a hooded female traveler quietly following Ian.