The Kiss I've Been Longing For

Reef's car was waiting in the motel parking lot. The window is open, and he waves from inside the car as Bella walks over.

"Right on time as usual," he comments as Bella gets in and sits next to him.

"Is that a compliment?"

"No, it's not. I just wish it was a bit different this time. I thought you'd changed a bit."

"I guess you hoped I'd stay the same."

"I hope your feelings for me stay the same."

Bella was silent, not knowing what to answer. She buckled her seat belt and finally spoke up. "Come on, let's go. I'm starving."

The restaurant Reef chose was a new restaurant, whereas Bella had thought Reef would take her to the Chinese restaurant they used to go to with friends. It was as if Reef could read her mind. "Spicy Moo closed two years ago," he informed her. "There was mismanagement when old Moo was replaced by his son. They went bankrupt."

"That's a shame." Bella remembered her favorite prawn noodles.

The waiter came and they quickly ordered. The restaurant served steak, pizza, and Mexican food. It was a mixed combination. Reef ordered Tostadas for Bella and Tacos el Pastor for himself. When their orders came they enjoyed them without saying much. Bella was happy because the food was good.

"I'll pay," Reef said when the waiter came with the bill.

"No, let me."

Reef looked at her coldly, until Bella shrank. Finally, she let Reef's credit card pass into the waiter's hands. "Don't underestimate me, Bella. I'm not the poor young man you left behind."

"Reef, why do you have to talk like that. You're not the only one who wants to treat a friend."

"Friends?" Reef laughed. "No, we're not friends, Bel. Neither then nor now. Are friends going to kiss in the back of my dad's car and make out in my room? Do friends have the urge to take off the clothes and have sex right now?"

"Shhh! Reef, keep your voice down!" Bella looked around, worried that Reef's words could be heard at the other tables. "What's wrong with you, anyway? I know, I deserve your scorn and cynical talk. But please, I'm going with you not to fight, but to see the Red House."

"So, you're going with me because of the house, not because you want to be with me," said Reef.

"Yes," said Bella. "What else do you think it's for? So, can we go now? Please?"

"Come on." Reef got up roughly. "I won't waste your precious time."

***

The house was named Red House because of its red roof. It was a two-story colonial-style mansion, which was in the middle of a quiet, old residential neighborhood, inhabited by the old rich.

Bella stood on the curb, in front of the house. She looked fondly at the red roof, the taupe-painted exterior walls and the windows with white trim, just as they were eight years ago.

"Mrs. Lopez didn't change anything. Neither have I." Reef stood next to her, both hands in his pants pockets. "The renovations I did were only necessary. The basement walls were about to collapse and the central heating left by your father was broken, so I replaced it. And those wooden balcony dividers." Reef pointed. "You see? Some of them had to be replaced because the old ones were rotting and it was dangerous."

"How much was this house offered to you?"

Reef raised an eyebrow. "Why do you want to know?"

"Just curious. If you don't mind."

"Eight hundred thousand dollars."

Bella was wide-eyed. "My parents sold it for four hundred thousand dollars to Mrs. Lopez."

"Yeah. Property prices are on the rise these days."

"Can I come in?"

"Sure." Reef walked ahead of Bella, entering the unfenced yard. He unlocked the front door, opening it wide. "Come in." He turned to Bella. "Welcome back to Red House!"

Bella stepped inside. Crossing the threshold and feeling the familiar atmosphere of her childhood home. The walls were still shades of white and light brown, but it didn't feel as warm as it used to. Reef has kept the interior simple and minimalist. There is a practical and masculine feel to the furniture he has chosen.

"I don't have time to organize the house." Reef seemed to read her mind. "What would you like to drink? Beer? Come on, I'll show you the kitchen."

Bella nodded and followed Reef into the kitchen. She saw that the large refrigerator that used to belong to her family was still there, side by side with a newer refrigerator.

"I still have this fridge," Reef said. He opened it and took out two cans of cold beer. He opened one and offered it to Bella. "I remember we drank your dad's entire stock of beer when your parents took your aunt to Portland. It was one of the most fun days I've ever had with you. We were free to date all day, without worrying about your father's sharp criticism and your aunt's nagging."

Bella took a sip of her beer. "I haven't forgotten, but I rarely think about it anymore."

Reef nodded. "Of course you do. Because it's not important to you."

"It's not like that. It's all in the past."

"Okay, if you think so."

"My college life is pretty tough, Reef. The social environment is also different. I, who was used to living in a small town, had to adapt to a vibrant life that I'd never experienced. My mom and Aunt Ruth, they were also depressed. The only one who enjoyed the change was my father. Even the deaths of my mother and Aunt Ruth didn't make him realize that leaving Saco wasn't the best thing for his family."

"I'm sorry about your mother's death. She was the only one who was kind enough to me in this house back then."

"Yes. Mother apologized to me for not being able to prevent father from moving us all to New York. But, for a long time, my mother couldn't oppose my father."

"I've turned your mother's sewing room into a study. But the two mannequins are still there and I left them there. Do you want to see them?"

"I have to go to the toilet first."

"Go ahead. You know where it is."

***

Bella did not return to the kitchen where Reef was waiting. Quietly, she climbed the stairs to the second floor. At the end of the corridor after the stairs was a closed door. Bella walked to it and opened it. That room used to be her bedroom.

It was still her bedroom, but the furniture was different. The rest was still the same. The floorboards were slightly loose, and the walls were painted light blue. Opposite the door, there was another door that led to the balcony. Bella stepped up to it and tried to open it. It was locked.

"That balcony hasn't been repaired yet, so I locked the door so as not to harm anyone else."

Bella turned around and saw Reef walking in. "Oh, I thought I could stand there and look out like I used to."

"Like old times?" Reef smiled wryly. His eyes lit up sharply. "Back then, I secretly entered this room by climbing up that balcony. This door was unlocked and you were waiting. We kissed right there. Back then, your bed was over there. You were giggling and Aunt Ruth was knocking on the door asking why you weren't asleep."

Bella remembered all that. It feels like just yesterday. She was only seventeen years old. Her world only consisted of her, Reef, and her friends. Even her nagging Aunt Ruth meant nothing. Until graduation day came, and her father told her to forget Reef.

"We did it a lot. It was our most favorite game. Secret meetings in this room. I always waited for your code to come, and it was thrilling."

She and Reef lay on her bed. They kissed like they were never satisfied. Reef never touched her more than that. Not worth the risk, Reef said. What if you get pregnant? You still have to go to college, and I still have to take care of my family. But that was then. Right now, all that should be meaningless. It should.

Bella moved to the exit. "How about you show me the study? I want to see my mom's mannequins."

Reef grabbed Bella's arm, and when Bella tried to break free Reef pinned her against the wall. "Why do you always avoid whenever I talk about us?"

"Because it's pointless to talk about."

"Is that so? How do you think I felt when I found out you left without saying goodbye, and that I was the only person in town who wasn't informed of your family's moving plans?"

"I'm sorry. I'm really sorry for hurting you, Reef. It wasn't my will, but there were some circumstances that forced me to do so. My mother's health was in a very fragile state at the time. If I had fought back and made a scene, her heart might not have survived that moment."

"Do you regret it?" Reef brought his face closer to Bella's. Bella puckered up and Reef pressed her further against the wall. "You didn't even try to call me from New York to apologize, even though it was late. You left me like an idiot. Like a loser. No, you didn't. You're not sorry, Bella."

"Do you think I should call you and listen to your abuse? I know I was very mean to you. If there was anything I could have done, I would have done it then. But I'm not that brave."

"You can do it now." Reef looked into her eyes. "You do have to apologize to me, Bel. But, it has to be on my terms."

Bella could feel the pressure of Reef's body on hers. Reef's warm breath and Reef's body that smelled like a mixture of sandalwood and coffee. She felt Reef's firm thigh against her thigh. One of Reef's hands pressed against her shoulder, the other hand moved to Bella's forehead, then slowly down to the corner of her eyes, cheekbones and stopped at her lips. Her little heart told her to break away. However, her body betrayed her.

Reef bent down. The tip of his index finger gently caressed Bella's lips. His face was so close. His eyes were so sparkling. Sharp and calculating.

"Reef, stop."

"I won't," he hissed. Then he started kissing her. Gently at first, then deeper and hotter. All the cells of Bella's body that were bubbling with anticipation now exploded. It was the kiss she had longed for.

***