He has a fiance

ZOEY's POV

Olivia helped me get ready for tonight's surprise apology to Nick. I felt guilty, so much so that I took a few deep breaths every time I thought about Nick.

"You are going to do great. Nobody can reject this pretty face."Liv said making eye contact with me in the mirror. She was doing my make-up which in her version meant looking my best self.

I slightly smiled nodding." Are you done?"I asked referring to her doing my make-up.

"Yeah, you just need to wear that sexy dress I ordered for you." she pointed at the black dress on the bed.

I sighed getting up from the chair and walking to the bed then getting rid of my rob, I got in the dress and wow...it was sexy."Don't you think this dress is a little unnecessary? I mean, I'm just apologizing not seducing him."I said looking at Olivia.

"Trust me, physical appearance can do wonders for you," she said and I just hummed. Olivia had more experience with men and if she thought dressing this seductive and having make-up was going to be productive then I trusted her.

She walked to her travel bag and got a pair of heels and she made me wear them saying shoes were everything. They completed the look. I mostly didn't understand half of what she said so I just agreed instead of hurting my brain trying to understand."Now you are good to go Zoey." she said pushing me forward in the direction of the door."Good luck, though you don't need it. Nick is reasonable." she said and I smiled looking back at her and taking a deep breath, I left.

Upon reaching the room where Nick and I were supposed to spend our night, I stopped at the door struggling to find the courage to knock. I wanted to leave, I didn't know how to look him in the eye again after everything because all I could remember was his pained expression when he found out I slept with someone else.

But I still found the strength to knock nonetheless.

Just as I was about to knock, I heard noises in the room and my hand stopped mid-air while my face made a frowning expression.

Out of curiosity, I listened more and I could not believe what I was hearing. Nick was in there because I could hear his voice but there was another feminine voice, telling him to....

"Faster Nick, faster." the feminine voice moaned and I blinked my heart racing just hoping against hope, I was hallucinating. I had to be because there was no way Nick was in there having sex with someone. He loved me.

I took a deep breath and without knocking I held the door handle and the door opened. My eyes were met with the most unexpected scene.

"Nick.."I called my lips trembling.

The two people naked on the bed looked at me and I could see the surprised look on Nicks's face.

They quickly covered their body and I wanted to leave, My brain told me to leave but my legs refused to move. I stayed rooted on the ground tears welling up in my eyes just trying to figure out what was going on.

"Zoey.... It's not what it looks like. I..."Nick said buttoning his pants then he walked towards me."Let me explain." he started again attempting to touch me but I held my hand signalling him to stop.

"Don't you dare touch me with those hands Nick," I said too calmly. I was supposed to be yelling and going crazy.

"I'm sorry...." he said stopping in his tracks."I was angry okay. Besides, you cheated too so you can't be this mad about it," he said and that shook my whole body.

I couldn't believe what I was hearing."Are you listening to yourself, Nick?"I asked him tears finally breaking free.

"You cheated too, and it made me angry," he repeated.

I raised my eyebrows at him shocked."It made you so angry you decided to get some girl and have sex with her? I thought you were smarter. I cheated yes, but that does not give you justification for cheating back. I thought we were going to do this maturely. I was coming to apologize, Nick, I felt so bad for what I did, and I wanted to talk it out with you so that you understood. I was drunk, can't you get that? I didn't even know the guy, I...."I breathed in to hold myself together from breaking down.

I looked at Nick again." I thought you were more mature?"I asked him.

Nick scoffed as if I just said something funny. "You are not doing this fairly Zoey. How do you expect me to understand that you cheated on me because you were drunk?" he asked and I furrowed my eyebrows unbelievably." Matter of fact, I don't believe you. And you want to know the truth, I slept with her because I wanted to sleep with her." he referred to the girl on the bed getting dressed.

That confession broke me more and I wished for him to stop but it was only my wishful thinking because he added more words."Her name is Kira." he started again."We've been together for quite some time." he said what finally broke me and I dropped on the floor energy leaving my body completely.

"Why Nick? Why?"I asked crying as I looked at him.

"Because you are so boring Zoey, You think I liked being with you? I didn't even want to sleep with you in the first place. That's why I have been making excuses not to for two years. I wasn't planning on doing it yesterday, so I made sure you were too drunk so that I could use that as an excuse. Guess, luck was in my hands you found yourself elsewhere so I didn't have to say anything." he said and thinking back I could now understand.

All the excuses were because he did not want to have anything to do with me and I being the idiot, thought he was just too caring.

I wanted to scream.

He was not done pouring his heart out."Who would want to be with you anyway? You have average beauty, and you have a body shape that is disgusting to look at I was just with you out of sympathy. I dare say you friend Olivia is too." he said.

My head was spinning, my heart hurt so bad too. Did Nick have to say it? I had very low self-esteem which was something I struggled with and also tried so badly to ignore, I thought I wasn't beautiful enough, my face had acne and I was fat, not like those sexy girls in school.

But it hit me hard when someone said it aloud. It hurt so bad I couldn't breathe. I always knew I didn't deserve him, not because I was too good for him but because I was too ugly for him. I had to be embarrassing him every time.

"Get out Zoey, Now that you finally know the truth, I'm not gonna soothe you anymore. I hate you, always have. I was with you just because you are smart and you helped me with assignments that gave me good marks but I can't take it anymore. I don't need you anymore. You can go back to that guy you slept with tonight." he snarled so dangerously I shivered down in my bones.

I wiped my tears and then I finally looked at the girl he called Kira. And I couldn't disagree with everything he said about me. Compared to her, I was so ugly and disgusting to look at. She was the epitome of beauty, with long curly blonde hair, a beautiful facial shape with the best features. She was petite and tall and instead of saying anything I shook my head and laughed out loud.

I could see the confusion in their faces, I was also confused about why I was laughing. Maybe I just felt so hurt, that I couldn't cry anymore.

I looked at Nick and suddenly I frowned, I stood up and with a final glance at Kira who was smirking at me victoriously, I walked out.

There was no use for crying or begging. Nick made his choice and I deserved it. I was unfaithful at first anyway and I was not beautiful like Kira.

I wanted to walk back to the room Olivia was in but I remembered Nicks's words. Maybe he was right and Olivia was only with me out of sympathy. I felt like I didn't deserve love, maybe I didn't. I did not have anything worth loving anyway. I was just an ugly nerd.

So I roamed to the bar downstairs. Where we were getting drunk yesterday. The bartenders there were familiar with me and they welcomed me but I did not miss the weird look they gave me. At this point, I did not care. I didn't want their validation, it's not like they would like me anyway.

"Two shots of tequila, "I ordered knowing they were going to do as I said since the bill was on their boss's daughter who was my best friend but I wasn't sure was my best friend anymore. My thoughts said a lot of things.

Just then my eyes spotted a familiar figure. The guy who I lost my virginity to. I didn't know if to hide or just sit down and drink myself stupid. Hiding felt like a better option because I didn't want him to recognise me. After all, that would embarrass me so much.

In the end, I just sat and watched him. Besides, he was so far away from me, that there was no way he would recognise me."His name is Roy."I heard someone say and I was startled. Was I looking so much?

I cleared my throat and looked at the bartender pouring a shot of tequila, but who also spoke just now."I don't know what you are talking about."I said.

"I saw you staring at him." he called me out."Word of advice, he's way out of your reach so don't even try. He has a girlfriend, wait not a girlfriend, he's engaged. His fiance will be here any time, the table is reserved for two people." the bartender said and what he said made me sick. It made me feel so filthy.

What did I do? I could not stop the guilt and the self-blame. I slept with an engaged man.

"Is by any chance her name Erin?"I decided to ask since I could remember what this Roy guy asked me this morning before I left his room. He asked and I quote."You are not Erin, are you?"

The bartender chuckled." Yeah, how do you know that?" he said and I coughed because my saliva just choked me.

"I'm sorry, I can't... I need to leave."I said holding my mouth and I ran away to the washroom and directly to the toilet seat where I spilt my guts out kneeling.

I couldn't help it, I felt so sick I needed to puke. Self-hatred and being disgusted with myself made me feel awful. I didn't understand how I found myself in such a mess. I rarely made mistakes but this only time I made a big one.

PRESENT DAY

"Mommy...."I was startled when my daughter's soft voice called me.

I looked at her and I faked a smile."Yes, gummy bear."I replied looking at her and I felt sad when I saw her sad face.

"You are crying, mommy. I hate seeing you cry," she said and I blinked looking away from her.

I didn't know I was crying but thinking about the past always made me cry. I wiped my tears before looking back at Alex with a smile."I'm sorry sweetheart, Mommy is just having a painful headache, I must be so stressed about tomorrow's job interview."I said taking her little hand in mine.

"But my mommy is the best, You are going to get the job," she said and I felt like crying more. She's so sweet.

I hugged her to prevent myself from crying."You are the best daughter, do you know that?"I kissed her head.

"I'm your only child," she said and I got overwhelmed by emotions I finally broke down."Are you crying again? You are going to make me cry."

"I just love you so much," I said hugging her tighter.

"I love you too."

I nodded kissing her whole face."We are changing the subject mom, This one is making you cry."See, she's so mature to be able to read the room. What did I do to deserve this sweet daughter?

"Are you excited about your new school?"I asked in an attempt to change the subject.

She pulled away from the hug and looked away thoughtfully before looking at me again."Yeah, but it's because I will be near Grandma and Aunt Olivia so I won't have to miss them so much. Plus, I want to know what it feels like studying here. You did and it excited me that I will be attending the school you attended." she said and I smiled.

"I'm happy you are excited and I promise you, you'll have the best time."

She kissed my cheek before smiling."Get up and let's go help Aunt Liv prepare dinner. You need to sleep early because of your interview and I have school too. I couldn't be late on my first day because my mom fed me dinner late and made me sleep late." She gave me that look, the look she had it all figured out. She was such a smart kid, always thinking everything through.

I chuckled getting up and we left to help Liv prepare dinner.