I still try

Written 2016-2017

I still try, even though I'm afraid

I want to be the type of girl who doesn't falter when I speak, to stand up tall, who isn't shy and meek.

I want to be the type of girl who is at ease in a crowd, with a courage found. Whose tongue is loose, free to speak what's on my mind. Not one where words are trapped inside.

I want to be the type of girl who doesn't tremble when trying something new. Dares to dream, and dreams to wish. And can be herself too.

I want to be the type of girl who everyone knows, meets friends, and makes plans. Who doesn't have a foe.

I want to be the type of girl with arms reached out, chasing possibilities and opportunities, and tries new things...But I'm too afraid.

I stand up only to get pushed down, falter when there are others around. When I try something new, my body shakes, when I reach out, I meek fakes. But why do I continue, am I a fool for dreaming and trying my all?

Because it gets better, day by day, the more I try, the more I say. I'm determined to progress, and as I continue, this anxiety becomes less…

Even though the fear may never fully fade, I still try even though I'm afraid.

Written by Camille