Chapter one

They say 'childhood is the kingdom where nobody ever dies'. They said you'll only be remembered when you're in somebody's life. Everyday we're all scared of testing this idea, of going away from the people in our lives for the fear of being forgotten. I guess death doesn't tell you when it takes you away from your loved ones, leaving you to watch from up above, the people you once meant so much to, forget about you, all you ever shared. Sometimes you don't blame them. Sometimes they only try to forget about you for their own mental health.

This is a story about how I died in the hands of the man that I love.

All of entire life, it was always about having everyone taken from me. Everyone I've ever loved.

I was just five when my mom died. She was diagnosed with third stage cancer and we never saw it coming. It was a total dead end for us. But then you move on. Or I did.

A day after I'd turned twelve, my father died, right before my eyes. Just like mom.

So childhood isn't always rainbows, butterflies and a beautiful dew encoasting the end of the brilliant mountains. All I ever saw, even as a child, was its dark sides.

I grew up in London seeing the same faces everyday. I watched neighbors come and go. Dad never moved from the house even after mom's death. I didn't intend to either. He'd been so struck by her death that I'd watched him go through series and series of pains over the years. It was hard seeing him that way but most of the time he didn't share his pains. He just holds it in and pretend its okay. We both did.

I pull down the bed covers from my head as I felt my phone buzz next to my forearm and squint my eyes immediately to adjust to the brightness of the room. I slowly open my eyes to see the bright creamy light rays seeping in through my draping curtains.

I grabbed my phone to check it's time. 8:02a.m stared back at me.

8:02?! "It's one hour after 7!" I exclaimed so loud that I forgot somebody was still sleeping in the room next to mine.

"Yes,psycho, " came in Jade's groggy voice from the next room "I'd love to see you get fired"

Fired. Fired. Damn it. I bit my lower lip in utter frustration and raced into my adjoint bathroom.

I must've left the part out where I live with a half sister? Jade does make the grande entrance, doesn't she?

I shared my parent's house with a step mother and a half sister.

4 years after my Mom's death, My father finally decided to get married again. He'd told me I needed a mother but I'd understood differently. I knew he needed somebody by his side. He got married to Cindy who'd moved in even before the wedding with her daughter, Jade.

Jade and I pretty much grew up together, she a few months older than me but also a few inches shorter. She was just as slim;the bulky kind of slim though, with a short wavy rusty blond hair. The baby innocent face was a work of art, only she's ten times a devil's accomplice on the inside. Attending the same highschool with Jade had been one of my worst life's experiences and after my father died, it got a bit worse.

It was like Cindy and Jade practically and directly became a whole different people. There wasn't much relationship between us when my father was still alive and I hadn't expected more.

And now? I have two years left in college, my student loan gives me nightmares all the time I think about.

After graduation, I'd have to work off my butt to pay up unlike some other kids who only graduate to have keys to houses, cars, family fortunes handed over to them.

I threw on my army T-shirt over my regular black distressed jeans with ashes hooded sweatshirt to go with it. I threw my backpack over my shoulder.

I ran down the stairs, breakfast not an option for me today.

I still couldn't figure out why I'd sleep so recklessly on a Saturday morning. Nemesis's gonna kill me and then fire me. Don't ask me why my boss bears nemesis.

"Where do you think you're going? " I'm stopped from pulling the door open by Cindy's voice.

I turn around to see her at the kitchen exit.

"I'm off to work, where else would I be going? " realizing I'd said more than needed, I chuckled lightly. I'm already late as it is.

"Who knows? You could be going off with some boyfriends for all I know"

"I told you countless time, I do not have a boyfriend "

"What a shame"

I mentally face palm. I have got to leave right now.

"Mom!" Jade's voice travels down before she walks to the stairs.

Her hair looked a mess like every other morning and she had her oversized silk pajamas on. She's such a night owl.

"Bella didn't put my dress in the washer last night! What am I gonna wear for the lunch date?!" she whines, again like she always does. I roll my eyes and adjust my bag on my shoulder.

Cindy turns a pointed look at me, obviously questioning me.

I tried to calm myself down. I'm late and I have to get out of here right now.

"I really can't do this right now. I'm late " I pull the door open and step outside in such a hurry, I nearly tripped over my feet.

"Don't you come back here today, Bella! " was the last I heard of her voice before I went out the rusty gate of our small estate house.

I should be running to catch the bus but I just continued to walk, sighing as I did. I pull my hood over my head and heaved a sigh again. And again.

I should be used to Cindy's words but every time, I'm rendered to endless thoughts about my hopeless life and each time, I just feel worse than I was with every passing minute.

I reach the bus station and boarded it, still deep in thoughts. I plug in my earpiece to my phone and connect it to my ears.

I let myself feel every string of Martin Garrix's scared to be lonely album.

The bus stops at the next terrace down the corner of the streets, SPICY written in bright pink just above the glass doors of the restaurant, a chilly Pepper drawn beside it.

I stop my music, putting back my phone in my jeans pocket before proceeding into the building.

The glass tinted walls of the restaurant allows me view of everybody inside. I could see Evelyn behind the counter, hands busy on the computer. And there stood nemesis in front of the counter, just before Evelyn, eyes on his phone.

I blink hard and reluctantly pull the door open, ready to face him.

Nemesis was an arrogant young 26 year old who'd inherited SPICY from his stinking rich grandfather. Being the only grandson from a favorite child, the owner hadn't thought twice about giving such a huge thing to him.

He was just as much naive. He'd became my boss just after ten months of taking the job here as a waitress and he had decided without even as much as a remorse to make our -workers- lives miserable. I always thought he liked making my own kind of working hell different.

His name wasn't really nemesis. His name was Larry Angelo but as rumors had it and proven right with the past time, he had nicknamed himself nemesis and his gang of highschool friends called him only that. Soon his family started calling him that and the day he'd come to the restaurant to get to know us, he'd introduced himself as nemesis.

I'd only found out about his real name because....... Well let's just say I get really, really curious. Great, I'm glad we're on the same page now.

As I walk in through the door, I was ready to get fired. I was not in the mood to get scolded. At least not today. I'm not even sure if I'm gonna have a place to sleep today.

The moment nemesis's head turns and he sees me, his folded arms drops to his sides and he yelled "Bella"

Yeah, bring it on you half arsed bastard.

I look straight, trying hard not to show my discomfort. I should at least not give a reason to get fired.

I stop in front of him, Evelyn trying to give me gesture signals from behind him with her hands. I ignore her, eyes straight into the air.

"Good morning, Boss" I greet him quietly.

"You are late!" He yelled, the customers were probably looking.

"I'm sorry, " I bow slightly " it won't happen again"

With my gaze fixed on my flat shoes, hands intertwined, lip into the other, I stood firmly.

After a minute he said " fine. Get changed and serve the tables"

I bow again before heading towards the back. I wasn't so relieved for not being fired.

I get to the changing room and pull off my shirt and jeans. I open my locker and take out the restaurant's working dress. For Saturdays and Sundays it was a white open button shirts with short sleeves and black jeans while on the week days we wore white button down with mini black skirts.

We are to leave two buttons up open for God knows why. That never bothered me. As long as I get tipped by the rich customers who walked in every day. They tend to hold your arm and flirt with you but that only gets you more pay and higher tips.

Some even leave their numbers but for me, they always end up in the bins outside the side walk.

I pull my black hair into a messy bon and slipped on my black stilettos.

I walk back to Evelyn at the counter. Evelyn was a young woman in her early 20s. She had beautiful big green eyes with full lips she always painted Burgundy, and a wavy caramel hair. She and I had gotten so close since I came. She was a dear friend.

"Wanna tell me why you practically walked in so late with a 'no joking' face?, " she looks from the computer to give me a twisted smile " I could tell nemesis would've pissed his pants"

"I woke up late" I serve myself a cappuccino.

"Your lucky day, I'm paying for that"she refers to the drink in my hand.

"That's why you're a sweetheart here" I give her a small smile.

She smiles back and says " Tasha and Jake are occupied. I got two tables waiting" she hands me their order.

I give her a suspicious look " are you supposed to be at the counter today? "

"Ah, "she leans closer " Bekka isn't here., so I'm staying here for her. You wish you were in my shoes right? Feel free to say it girl"

I give her a laugh before dumping the empty cup on the bin and walking to the kitchen.

I get the orders and and served the tables.

Like every other day, with the fanciest smile you could muster.

After serving a couple table, I stood at the counter to input the data while Evelyn went back to take orders.

She walks to me and knocks on my arm.

"I'll need your best smile now, Bella. You need to serve table 12"

"Come on, Evelyn," I complain in pure exhaust "you being on the counter today should mean less work for me. Tasha is free now"

"Actually, he wants you to serve him" she says, wiggling her eyebrows dramatically.

I sigh before looking up to locate table 12