Timeline 1- ‘His’ Delusion

Visual Recreation. A curious study about how the world within our perception could be an artwork.

A creation made uses the brushstrokes of the five senses in a particular pattern. Memory as a basis.

It's said that we only see things the same only because we 'remember things the same way'.

Everything is the same shape, but the implications change depending on the knowledge and senses.

Like how children knew no fear in the face of creatures that can strike fear into grown men.

Or how the senses are moulded by prejudice.

Like when we can infer the difference in colours.

It was said the study has lasted for as long as humans recognised their place within the universe.

Knowing what they sense may not be the limit.

This was how I came into being. The result of the experiments that lead to delusions invading reality.

An unfortunate child wished to be saved, and had a very strong desire that twisted and distorted reality.

The basis of what Earth called 'Delusional Trigger'.

A power that borrowed the power of the all-encompassing 'Imaginary Realm' to grant wishes.

"That has been established already... but it's interesting you know that much. Does everyone in your 'imaginary world' know of Earthlings with this depth?" A man with an unkept beard rubbed his chin. Looking at me from across the table.

It looked like this interrogation wasn't annoying for him to deal with, but there was no one else here who could do so. After all, only he could see me. As a man stricken and empowered by a Delusional Trigger.

"Is this small talk?" I tilted my head.

Perhaps because of my appearance, he stayed silent for a second. Not answering that immediately.

Although the location was at a police station, the one being 'interrogated' wasn't a criminal or sinner.

Instead, what was reflected in his eyes was my literally angelic appearance. White wings and all.

I looked exactly how one would imagine an 'Angel'.

Because that's what I was... in essence.

"Alright, then let's move on. What is you name?" He asked a question... A simple one to a human being.

But a bit complicated for an existence like myself.

"Alex Stuman's 'Delusional Trigger'." I answered.

"That's not a name." He eyed me in annoyance.

"You split me up from my summoner before he could give me a name. If you need something to refer to me by, then just call me... Angel." After all, that was the idea that had been used to give birth to me.

"Well then... 'Miss' Angel, can you reveal what your Trigger Holder is hiding?" The man stared at me.

He didn't seem to be appreciating my looks at all.

Instead finding me to be more like a puzzle piece.

"There's nothing to explain. He was a child that awakened me to 'save' him. That's why my abilities are mostly centred around healing. Similar to how your abilities are likely based on wanting to protect yourself with a gun." I lowered my gaze to his hand.

A firearm was held tightly. Ready to shoot me dead if I made any movements that set off his danger sense.

"You can say that, then what was the spectacle that happened after your appearance?" He went straight to the meat of the issue. The question that even normal people would ask after seeing that scene.

What exactly was going through his mind?

Because there was no way a simply wish for salvation could end with such a horrifying sight like that.

And to be honest, I didn't know how to explain it.

.....

....

,,,

..

.

I want to die...

My parents... My sister... My brother... They all arrived in front of me on my day of awakening.

As corpses.

I, myself, was an old fossil seated between them all something... akin to a sacrifice to a demonic entity.

It ruined my whole life.

At first, they tried to believe that there was nothing wrong with me... but that turned into doubt.

And with their doubt came endless miseries.

Without them, I couldn't handle school anymore. I lashed out and tried to kill everyone like a monster.

Eventually landing me into a cell in prison.

Not a juvenile prison, but a special place that was tailor made to raise Trigger Holders like myself.

You'd think my life would turn into a magic academy show from that point, right? It had all the tropes.

But there were too little Trigger Holders for that.

In fact, 'Delusional Triggers' weren't well-known enough for my circumstances to be explainable.

And because of that, it was all downhill from that point on. Nothing... Nothing would save me.

Feeling isolated and being isolated were two different things. I was able to find some 'friends'.

Child soldiers just like myself.

The only difference was that they were experimental projects that had been abandoned by society itself.

My new brothers and sisters...

The only thing I couldn't figure out was the white-clothes woman summoned as my 'Delusion'.

"What's wrong? Are you feeling weak again?" The beautiful carer of mine checked my temperature.

I quickly thought up something to say:

"I... am... doing fine. Thank you, Saviour." Others called her 'Angel', but my name for her differed.

"That's good. Are we going out again?" She asked while watching me pump my shotgun after loading.

"Let's go." I took her to the battlefield with me.

With Saviour's healing abilities, I started to earn a name in this violent world of chaos and death.

Outside the eyes of the 'regular citizens'.

The innocents who had no fault even if I slaughtered many for resources. Regardless of who wanted it.

The lands... The authority... It was for my patriotism that I did the deeds. Followed orders. Gave up.

Discarding my rights to be anything more than a human weapon. A tool meant to gather influence.

Recently, my memories have been getting hazy.

The sadness of my newfound brothers and sisters dying had slowly rotted my heart. Or was that age?

I couldn't tell either way...

My hairs had gone white, but Saviour hadn't aged a day from the first day that I'd met her back then.

Still so beautiful as always...

She had been healing me for a while, but her powers could do nothing against age. My legs were wobbly.

"Saviour, am I a baddie?" My memories had been deteriorating, and so was my vocabulary at this point. My thoughts no longer kept up with the rest of me. Even if my eyes were still clear, my memories...

...they... had rotted... and become hard to remember.

But I still remembered Saviour.

"You won't be remembered as one in this life. You did everything the country asked of you, after all. A true war hero. That's what you are." She smiled at me and linked arms with me. Assisting me.

When I got downstairs, she grabbed a plate and made something edible even with my weak gums.

The yellow teeth that had been missing some pieces.

"T-thank you." I felt so assured when she was with me... but I also remembered when mom used to-

"Don't think too much." Before my thoughts had found an old scene of my mom, Saviour interrupted.

"How d-do you know what I'm thinking?" It's funny how she reads my mind sometimes. Funny. Funny.

"I'm an imaginary entity. I know more than what I see or hear." She cleaned my mouth when the oats spilled through my teeth. A white napkin was stained by my saliva, but she didn't seem disgusted by me.

This was true acceptance that I'd always yearned.

And yet, even behind that acceptance was a smile that seemed saddened at the person I'd become.

"Do you want to become a better person?" Saviour patiently asked while I was finishing my breakfast.

"Better?" I looked up at the floating figure.

She put her arm over my shoulder and whispered something. It was a 'quest' that I could simply deny.

Pretend that I didn't hear...

"In an alternate world, the 'you' there has harmed the flow of time. If you fix it, then you might earn the grace of Lady Clockwork." She said something that I didn't get at all. Whatever, I like her so... I'll listen.

"Okay..." Saviour smiled like the morning sun. Her hair dazzled a golden glow while being tugged by the breeze. A gentle touch on my cheek and sea blue eyes that seemed to glean. Looking at my soul directly.

I followed her to the now abandoned school building not far from my house. It was my Primary School.

The walk here was usually tiring beyond belief, but looking at her washed away my pain and fatigue.

"What d-do I n-need to do?" My voice shivered despite the weather being good these days.

She turned to face me.

Her expression held something more than pain or longing. It was a complicated set of feeling for her.

I was sure if it.

"You need to let me go now." Despite the state my mind was in, Saviour's words hit me like a hammer.

"W-what?" I couldn't believe it.

"Just like when you pulled me out of the Imaginary Realm... I need to return." She made her decision.

Telling me this now of all times.

"What for?" My stutter started to fade.

"You want to be a good person in the end, right? If you let me go, you'll save this world and the fate of many others outside it." Again, Saviour started to talk nonsense about 'healing' this world's timeline.

"And if I don't?" I narrowed my eyes.

"...Then I'll be disappointed." Even though her tone became only a tiny bit sharper, I couldn't ignore it.

Saviour's words hit too deep.

I couldn't pretend nothing happened.

"You w-want me to be a good person?" I grasped her hand. Like a puppy that didn't want to ever bite.

After all, dogs were loyal and tools had no soul.

As for my heart, it was a mixture of both types.

For her, I could be the kindest man in the world.

For her, I could deny my own personality and self.

She just needed to say the word, and I'd do anything for her. ANYTHING. So... she shouldn't be leaving.

Please don't leave me...

"I want you to be the man you want to be." Rather than agreeing with me, Saviour twisted her answer.

It made me unable to stomach her attitude.

"Then stay with me. I don't know how to be good and nice. I need y-you to be here and show me. So don't go anywhere. Stay." I held her hand and begged her to change her mind about all this.

"We don't have time anymore. If you don't let me go now, this injury to the realm will never be able to be healed. If I raised you well, then... show me. My boy isn't a baddie." Saviour hugged my head softly.

We stood in the middle of the room where my life had been ruined before. Those bodies... That horror.

It was the first day I'd ever begged anybody to save me. To take me away from the hell of my school life.

And she actually did.

I wanted to tell her that she should stay. That I'd decided that nothing mattered more to me than-

And just when I was finishing that thought, the sad smile she made caused me to feel like an ugly being.

A frog clinging onto what he shouldn't have.

If I denied her now, I'd be making her into someone as bad as me... and I knew that... she'd hate me for it.

No, maybe she wouldn't 'hate' who I am.

But she'd never be able to smile again if I denied her this wish. She wanted me to... be a good person.

"W-why?" I asked her again: "If it's about what I said before, then just ignore everything I'd ever said."

It was just my childishness.

I didn't need to die a good person. The things I did are too dark for that. Plus, there was nothing here.

No rip in space or rift into the void.

The classroom was normal. A little dark and dusty because of time, but nothing strange was here.

There wasn't even a monster for me to fight.

So why should I let her go like this?

"Hey, do you remember the delusion you based me on?" Saviour asked me something tricky to answer.

"Errr... I don't..." I tried to look away.

"You really don't know?" Her eyes had lowered.

"I... r-remember. I said: 'Save me. Save me, please' to the universe, and it gave me you." My mouth moved on its own at that moment. Not wanting to say anything that could possibly hurt her.

Not even if the things spoken were nothingness.

"That's wasn't all it was." As if to tease me, my angel of salvation waved her finger to deny my claim.

She continued while turning my head to face her own: "You also... wanted to grow up to be kind."

"..." I didn't remember making such a wish, but there was no way she'd lie about such a thing like this.

Maybe my brain had rotted too much to remember.

Either way, it looked like she made up her mind.

I could deny her... or as the tool and loyal dog that I was, I could say the words she wanted to hear:

"Then, I agree to return you to the universe." I spoke with the resolve of a man who'd known death.

My answer brightened this dark room vividly.

Her smile bloomed much more intensely by my answer, and it looked like that was all it'd taken.

Unbeknownst to anyone but her, the bodies that had slid through the cracks in time started to fade away.

Her body started to show the same symptoms.

Her light was becoming glitters. Though the glows were numerous, it was only a matter of time now.

The words I spoke were supposed to have been only for her ears, but the universe had disagreed with me.

Taking her away as soon as I'd outwardly accepted it.

A part of me wanted to burst out into tears and rip her away from the grip of the universe, but...

"Aren't you going to tell me goodbye?" She opened her arms despite being pulled towards the ceiling.

I grabbed onto her and pulled her down to Earth.

The word 'goodbye' just wouldn't leave my mouth.

I couldn't say things that'd make it sound like she'd never come back. Never. Can't she just stay?

"Believe me. If there's a god out there watching us, I will plead that you're a good boy and don't deserve to go to hell." Even though she said that, I was no fool. Only true spirits had afterlives. But her...?

She was simply my delusion.

A being created by my own imagination.

How could she tell 'God' anything when she didn't even exist? When her soul was just my imagination?

Existing like a reflection in a mirror.

Although there in my eyes, the truth was simply too sad to consider. And so... I nodded my head.

"Y-yeah, you go do that. I'll come for you. I-"

"Don't. Live out your life well, alright? I don't want any cheating." She stopped me from saying anything. Her body finally started to disintegrate into specks. Escaping through the gaps in my hands.

Flowing between my fingers.

Her existence was no more, and my memory of her started to fade like she'd never existed before,

Leaving me to be alone once again.