96. The Things We Do For Love

Thanks for all your feedback and sorry for letting you wait. Life's just super busy and crazy at the moment and I barely find the time to write :-( buuuuut I managed to scrawl this chapter down, so enjoy ;-)

96. The Things We Do For Love

Jay's heart was beating right under her ear, his chest rising and falling in one steady rhythm, when Erin woke up on the following morning, the daylight cascading through the plaid curtains. Warmth was radiating from his bare skin, her arm lazily draped over his abdomen, his arm wrapped around her body to pull her the closest physically possible. This was how they'd slept all night, how they'd fallen asleep after being completely worn out from their late night activities, tangled up in each other, bare skin against bare skin, as if they were both afraid that the other would disappear if they didn't hold on to them, as if they both never wanted this moment of being reunited, of being so intimate and blissfully happy, to end.

Erin lifted her head from his chest only to find him staring at her, the softest, sweetest and most genuine smile plastered on his face and she was sure that she'd only seen this kind of smile a handful times before: when he'd felt Emilia's first kick, when she'd answered a certain question with yes, when Emilia'd been born and when they'd said I do. This was the most genuine kind of smile, the one she loved the most, the one that made her heart melt like ice in the sun and that made her smile for no reason because it was as contagious as some virus.

″Good morning beautiful,″ he murmured, his grin spreading from one ear to the other, and Erin quickly adjusted her position so they could share a proper good morning kiss and not just a peck on the forehead. Now that they were back to bliss, simple pecks weren't enough anymore.

″Good morning,″ she smirked and pressed her lips against his. And just like last night it felt like a firework when they met, their lips emitting the hottest, most passionate sparks they possibly could. ″Happy birthday.″

″You already told me last night,″ he chuckled, his voice as low that her pulse picked up its pace.

″I did?″ she frowned. ″Well, I wasn't quite sure whether I did because I was a little distracted last night,″ she laughed.

″So it was that good, huh?″ he raised his eyebrows cockily.

″As good that I can't remember telling my husband happy birthday, yeah,″ she joked with that dimpled smile that he'd missed so much, that he'd at one point feared to never see again. But there it was, back on her face, right where it belonged: this genuine smile with those dimples that could make the world alright, especially his world. ″So I say it again, happy birthday, babe,″ she said, giving him another lingering kiss, but the smile disappeared from her face by the words that followed. ″I know 33 was far off from the amazing year it should've been but I have a feeling that 34 will be better because most and for all I fucking love you. And what we've been through will always somehow follow us but I slowly begin to accept all of that and for what it's worth we can come back from this stronger.″

″We can and we will,″ Jay agreed and he felt more of the weight on his heart disappearing. Lots of it has disappeared over the past three days, ever since being in Iceland, due to how he's recognized Erin healing, emotionally, physically and in any other possible way. And he has healed along with her. But now, with her admitting that she was accepting what she couldn't change, with being willed to move forward and leave the past behind, and with this new faith in the strength of their marriage, he could simply drop the biggest part of this weight off, discard it somewhere where it could never come back from. She was going to be okay. They were going to be okay. And this was the epitome of a perfect birthday gift as it was all he's wanted since not only their relationship but also Erin had seemed to fall apart right in front of him over and over again.

″And you know what?″ he asked after what felt like a lifetime and he wondered whether he'd really needed forever to speak again. ″I fucking love you, too.″

Their eyes were locked on each other as he gave this love declaration back and those ocean blue orbs emphasized every word with this unique, piercing glance. A glance full of unconditional love, a glance that didn't even need the company of those words because it could tell more than a thousand words could. Even after all these months of being so far away from each other by any means, they still could communicate with their eyes only and no words were needed to express their feelings, to tell the other what was going on inside of them. Because as those intense blue eyes, that she loved to lose herself in, gazed at her, she was sure he could look right inside her soul. And she was pretty sure that she was capable of doing the same.

″I know,″ she whispered and leaned in to kiss his lips again, softly and delicately slow first, passionately hot and mercilessly soon after and since they were both insatiable they lost themselves in each other for the 4th time within the last twelve hours.

The distance they'd had between them for almost five months was now a reminder that every moment together was special and that every second together should be cherished. Because they could never take anything of it for granted anymore. And they never would.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

His shirt was falling just over her butt, the long sleeves almost swallowing her hands and one of her shoulders exposed as Erin found herself in the kitchen to prepare scrambled eggs for breakfast later in the morning, their stomachs craving for some real food after last night. Since they both wanted to see a little more of Iceland other than the bedroom of this cottage, they'd at some point dragged their lazy, jetlagged bodies out of the bed. Jay'd directly gone to the bathroom, purposefully not asking her whether she wanted to join because he knew exactly where this would end and they honestly didn't need to overdo it. Although they both wouldn't mind. And as he now padded into the kitchen, watching his wife scrambling some eggs, wearing his shirt, only his shirt, it felt like the cold shower to wash off all the sweat of the previous hours had been for nothing as the heat returned in a heartbeat.

″And you couldn't wear a shirt, could you?″ Erin's voice caught him as he was staring at her.

″Sorry, but I think my wife is wearing mine,″ he chuckled slightly, enjoying it how her eyes roamed his body and were literally eating him up. This feeling of not getting enough of each other was definitely mutual and they had to get the heck out of here to not savage each other once more. Maybe it hasn't been the smartest of ideas to walk into the kitchen with only a towel wrapped around his waist.

″Yeah right, and you've only got that one shirt with you,″ she laughed and shook her head. She wished she could take her eyes away from him but this equaled a mission impossible when her husband was standing there, showing off his muscular chest and abdomen with the v-line, some water drops running down his skin, his wet hair adorably unruly. Subsconsciously, her tongue licked over her lips because damn, this was a sight for sore eyes.

″I do,″ he joked and closed the gap between them so he was dangerously close, the smell of his cologne invading her nostrils and the impact of it almost made her unconscious.

″Well, if that's the case, here you go,″ she winked innocently and made an attempt to strip the shirt and give it to him, which would leave her without any fabric on her skin other than her panties.

″Don't you dare,″ Jay murmured and held her hand so she couldn't pull the henley over her head.

″Why not?″ she smirked, raising an eyebrow at him.

″Because if you do that I will pin you against the wall and kiss you until you can't breathe anymore and I will then take you right here on this counter,″ he said and his voice was the most husky and lowest she's ever heard it and it made this feeling of need in her stomach increase even more, the thought of having steaming hot sex on the kitchen counter making her cheeks blush and her heart race.

″Well, if that was your attempt of holding me back, you've failed,″ she answered her voice just as raspy and low.

Before she could strip the shirt completely and reveal her naked body, Jay already had her pinned against the wall, kissing her like there was no tomorrow, just like he'd impended. With the wall still giving her stability and Jay's hungry hands on her waist, she wrapped his legs around his waist, the bulge that formed under his towel throbbing against her in just the right place.

If it weren't for them suddenly recognizing a very burned smell and with it the realization settling that they were about to burn this charming cottage down, they would've ended up with some mindblowing sex in this innocent kitchen. Instead, they quickly and unwillingly let go of each other and tried their best to reduce the damage that's been done already.

″No scrambled eggs then,″ Jay chuckled as he emptied the indefinable smoking black content of the pan into the garbage, not being sure whether the pan has survived this incident or would rather join the burned eggs in the garbage sooner or later.

″Nope,″ Erin laughed and put some pieces of toast into the toaster. ″Just imagine the headlines: American couple's sex in the kitchen burns Icelandic cottage down.″

″Well, that would be one for the history books I guess,″ he laughed. ″So in favor to avoid such an embarrassing incident, we should probably keep our hands off each other until tonight.″

″I'm not sure whether I like this plan but maybe we should try,″ she smirked and pressed a light kiss on his cheek as she ran her hand through his unruly, damp hair.

A couple of weeks back, hell even a couple of days back, Erin hadn't thought she could ever be even close to bliss again, hadn't imagined herself to be this kind of happy and blithe. But this trip has done something to her: a mixture of Jay just being Jay and being so far away from Chicago and the universe showing off in a way that made her and all her problems seem so small and probably even the words from the old woman in the tourist shop had helped her to accept that she couldn't change what's happened, that she couldn't change something back by not accepting it. And so she'd come to terms with all these things she couldn't change, like having lost the baby, like not being able to have a second child, like Justin still being in a coma, like Natalie being pregant. All of these things still hurt but she was now able to cherish all the things she had more than ever: a perfect husband who loved her in a way that still overwhelmed her at times, an adorable daughter who was an absolute sunshine and the center of their life, their loyal dog who was such a perfect fit into their family and all the great people in her life she was allowed to call friends and family. And seeing it from that point of view, she was one blessed human being.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

They spent the day of Jay's birthday with a trip to the Jokulsarlon Glacier Lagoon, also known as Iceland's crown jewel. The scenery they found there could easily be described as epic and other-wordly, the immense beauty taking their breaths away. A huge glacier in front of deep blue skies, right behind a lagoon filled with chunks of ice and icebergs, streaked blue and black, the sun making them sparkle unbelievably. From the lagoon, a river's formed right to the Atlantic Ocean, some chunks of ice having drifted out to the sea where the waves crashed on them, while some of them have been washed up on the black beach, allowing them to take some incredible photos right next to icebergs that were as tall as they were.

After returning back to their cottage in the late afternoon, they only grabbed something to eat from the supermarket in town and bought a bottle of wine and then watched the sun go down from Reynisfjara, one of Iceland's many black, volcanic lava beaches that has risen from the ashes, surrounded by basalt columns, lava formations, caves and towering cliffs. It was yet another of these insanely beautiful places, the sunset that dipped the sky and puffy clouds in various shades of purple and pink and yellow rounding up a perfect day, on which the sun had shined equally bright as they had smiled.

The days that followed offered them a lot more highlights as they drove back towards Reykjavik, stopping by another famous and spectecular waterfall, Gulfoss, as well as the most famous geysir, called Strokkur. They spent the night in a hotel in Reykjavik, the northern lights even dancing above the city and mesmerizing them once more, and then left early on the following morning to explore the Snaefellsness peninsula and Iceland's westfjords during their two last days in this truly magical country.

And the highlights just kept coming: stretches of lava fields changed into amazing gorges as more stunning waterfalls left them speechless, especially one called Dynjandi, which seemed to be even more majestic than all the ones they'd seen before. They stayed in another lovely village for the night, the magnificent Gatklettur rock upheaving from the ocean close by and they walked along the coastline through a really beautiful path right next to the ocean and its hazardous cliffs and they could then even walk over this famous rock, just like it was some bridge.

Last but not least, they also quickly visited Kirkjufell Mountain, the most photographed mountain in Iceland, before they eventually had to head back to Reykjavik to board their plane back home to Chicago to soon be reunited with their little girl that they were missing like crazy.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

″Look Emmy, it seems like they're now getting their luggage and will head out any minute,″ Hank said and pointed to the screen above them where the luggage sign had just appeared behind the number of Erin's and Jay's flight. He was carrying Emilia on his hip, the toddler holding her beloved stuffed animal, that she didn't leave the house without, in one hand and having her other hand placed on his neck. ″We have to keep our eyes open to spot them in this chaos,″ he added, shaking his head slightly by the turmoil this place provided on a regular Friday afternoon. Sure, some commuters were probably on their ways back from whichever American or Canadian town they worked in during the week and their families were now waiting for them, but still, this trouble all around him was simply insane. He definitely wasn't one for airports.

″What do you think, pumpkin, did this trip help your parents?″ he asked her. ″At least the pictures were promising. And when they skyped with you, they seemed quite happy as well, right?″ While those skype-dates could easily have been Erin and Jay trying to keep it together for Emilia's sake, like they've done so often in the last couple of months, all the selfies and pictures they'd taken and sent him had definitely surprised him. There'd been something in Erin's eyes that he hasn't seen since April, a special sparkle and hints of true happiness. And Jay'd been absolutely beaming on those pictures, nothing left of the man who's been a shadow of himself since April. They couldn't possibly fake to be this happy, could they?

The moment Erin and Jay stepped out to the waiting area a couple of minutes later, holding each other's hands and being basically clunged on each other, he knew that no smile on these photos had been fake as they were both glowing, soft and most of all real smiles plastered on their faces like they hadn't been erased from them for months. They were back to bliss. No doubts given.

″Mamaaa...daddy...″ Emilia exclaimed excitedly when she spotted her parents coming closer and Hank put the bouncing girl on the ground so she could welcome her parents home.

″Hey sweetheart,″ Erin smiled brightly and scooped the running toddler up into her arms to swirl her through the air. ″Hey my beautiful girl, I've missed you so much,″ she said and showered her with kisses once she brought her back down.

″Me mama miss,″ Emilia babbled and hid her head against Erin's shoulder, enjoying it to be close to her mom again after being seperated from her for over a week.

″Hey princess, and what am I?″ Jay asked in mock offense. ″Chopped liver?″

At that, she lifted her head and smiled genuinely at her father. ″Daddy,″ she said and reached her arms out for him and Jay of course took her from Erin's arms instantly.

″There you go,″ Jay smiled and showered her with kisses as well. ″Daddy missed you lots, you know?″

″Me luv daddy,″ Emilia said and gave her father a wet kiss. It was obvious that the little girl was all overjoyed to have her parents back and for Hank, it was the most beautiful thing to witness the joy this reunion was filled with.

Once the most important welcome was done, Erin and Jay could finally say hello to Hank, who was not only here to pick them up but who'd also taken care of Emilia together with Robert in the last couple of days and they both felt like they owed him so much for always stepping in when they needed him. Hank of course waved their gratitude off as usual, telling them that he was thankful for being allowed to take care of Emmy and that they could of course always count on him as there was nothing he loved more than spending time with his only granddaughter.

After spending a couple of minutes in her father's arm, Emilia, this perfect example of a little whirlwind, required to walk on her own again, and as a kid with such an energy level, this meant that she was running in front of them, giggling all the time as she tried to get away. Erin gave her a head start and then ran after her, catching her from behind and swirling her through the air, Emilia's squealing and Erin's laughter hearable despite the turmoil they were still surrounded with on their way out to the car park.

″Thank you, Jay,″ Hank said, carrying Erin's luggage as he walked next to Jay, the man who'd once again known exactly what Erin needed and who'd made it his task, that had seemed to be unsolvable, to heal Erin, to bring her back from a very dark place and to stop making them walk in never-ending circles. The way this man cared for and about Erin could even make someone like him almost emotional.

″I just took her on some trip,″ Jay winked at the older man.

″That you did,″ Hank nodded, his eyes still fixated on Erin and Emilia who were having a blast in the distance. ″But all the things you've done for her in the last couple of months...you never gave up...″ he said meaningfully.

″I would never give up on Erin,″ he answered honestly, emphatically. ″And these are the things we do for love...″

″Love,″ Hank echoed thoughtfully. ″You know, Jay, I'll forever be grateful for the day when that huge heart of yours fell for Erin and decided to love her against all odds.″

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

Even compared to Icelandic temperatures – they'd seriously been told that anything over 50°F was considered summer there – it was still abnormally hot in Chicago for late September, the sun shining from clear skies accompanied by a pleasantly warm breeze, leaving the temperatures up in the 80s. Jay and Erin of course didn't complain. Growing up in Chicago and living there their whole lives, they knew that every warm day should be cherished when your hometown was the Windy City. Because the winters were long and ugly and sometimes snow and cold hit the city from one day to the other, so they enjoyed every day that summer blessed them with its presence.

After they'd had temperatures around and below 50 in the last couple of days, wearing t-shirts in the evening, when they went for a stroll with Emilia and Crispin, felt almost strange. They quickly stopped by some playground to enjoy some quality time with Emmy by sliding or seesawing together and of course they didn't forget their four-legged kiddo either, who got all the cuddles and was excited when they played fetch with him, his ears alert and his tail wagging all the time. It almost seemed like there was some battle between Emmy and Crispin about who'd missed them more and was now happier to have them back. The result was definitely a tie.

Returning home, it was time to give Emilia her gifts, the stuffed puffin naturally being the highlight since she loved any kind of stuffed animal, and even Crispin got a new toy since they'd bought a stuffed ice bear with a bow in the colors of the Icelandic flag in the duty free shop at the airport earlier. And after the first excitement about the gifts was over, they all went to the bedroom, Crispin lying in front of their bed, proudly carrying his new toy with him, while Erin, Jay and Emmy settled in the king-sized bed with the dozen fluffy pillows for bedtime stories and more quality time.

″Okay, Em,″ Jay said, leaning back against some pillows, Emilia comfortably lying on him. ″Today I'm going to tell you a story about Petey, the Puffin,″ he told her and took the puffin from her hand to create some kind of puppet theater while telling a story he's only made up a couple of minutes ago. What followed was one of the most adorable things Erin's ever witnessed as Jay told this story with the help of Emmy's new toy, the almost 20-month old watching the show and listening to the story all fascinated.

″Once there was a puffin and his name was Petey. He was a veeeeeery dreamy guy and he loved to just gaze around and take the beauty of his homeland in. He could stare at the clouds on the sky forever and got all fascinated by the changing patterns. In the night, he got lost in the northern lights that danced above him on the dark sky and no matter how many times he's seen them already and in how many different colors, they never ceased to amaze him. So one could say that Petey was definitely different than all the other puffins but his family of course loved him dearly anyway,″ he said and placed the puffin on Emilia's belly and stroked it to visualize his story with fitting gestures.

″Winter came closer and during winter, the puffins leave their homeland to stay out on the ocean to travel to places where it's warmer. On a day in fall, Petey was once again out on the cliffs. He'd found a particular beautiful spot where he was shielded from the cold wind and he just watched the waves of the ocean crash against the bay and basalt columns for hours. He stayed there until the sun disappeared in the ocean and when he finally returned back, the place where everyone should be was abandoned and Petey was all alone. He ran around hectically and desperately called for his mother and father and brothers and sisters and uncles and aunts and friends but no one answered him. They were all gone and no one was there anymore.″

″Noooo Petey,″ Emilia exclaimed and reached for the puffin to cuddle it. This kid definitely had her heart in the right place and she was able to comprehend almost everything they said.

″Easy, Em, the story's not over yet,″ Jay chuckled, stroking over her quite long hair lovingly. ″So for the first time in his entire life, Petey had to go to bed all alone, with no one being there. And he was scared and felt lonely and cried all night, wondering whether he would ever see them again. He hoped that it was all just a nightmare but when he woke up in the morning, he was still all alone. And so he waddled around, bowed, and looked for something to eat although he wasn't hungry. All day he thought about leaving as well but he didn't know the way and he was scared he would get lost and never find home. And then in the late afternoon, he suddenly heard familiar chatter in the distance. When he gazed to the sky, he could make out some spots on the horizon and within a couple of minutes, all of his beloved family and friends landed next to him. They'd come back, just for him. They'd realized that one of them was missing and they couldn't leave him to his own fate. So all the way they'd traveled already, they came back, to pick up Petey and make sure that no one's left behind. Because these are things we do for love. And they hugged and cried and danced that they were all reunited and that their dreamy Petey was fine and then left together, on their entire way south making sure that Petey was right in the middle of them so they wouldn't lose this little dreamer once more,″ he concluded his story.

″Petey luv,″ Emilia giggled and reached for the puffin, that had Jay meanwhile taken again, once more to cuddle it again.

″Wow,″ Erin breathed out, tears of emotion sparkling in her eyes. How could one man be this perfect? How was she so blessed that this man was her partner in crime and the father of her child? And how on earth could he just make up such a story like it wasn't a big deal. ″In case things with the police department ever go south, you should probably consider writing children's books,″ she chuckled and when Jay looked at her, he saw adoration written all over her face.

″Naah,″ Jay grinned, blushing a little. ″This was just me trying to use this new toy for a story somehow.″

″This was freaking amazing, babe,″ Erin disagreed. ″Right, Emmy? You want your personal bedtime stories now every night, don't you?″

″Me do,″ Emilia nodded, still cuddling the puffin.

″See, the princess has spoken,″ Erin winked.

″Yeah, but she was totally influenced by the queen,″ Jay joked, giving her the most adorable smile.

″Well, that's your fate. The queen and the princess rule the house,″ she joked right back.

″That's a fate I can totally live with,″ he whispered and leaned in to kiss her.

They all couldn't get enough of cuddling today and since Erin and Jay's bodies were still living in a different timezone, where it was the middle of the night right now, they all fell asleep more or less together, Emilia in between them, all three somehow snuggled up to each other as their minds wandered to a place called dreamleand where puffins danced under the northern lights.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

″Get that lazy body of yours up from the couch already,″ Erin scolded her husband with a laugh when she walked into the living room on the following day. They were supposed to be at Robert's place in thirty minutes and her husband was still chillaxing on the couch, wearing sweatpants and having Emilia in his lap as they scrolled through a picturebook.

″Can't we just stay at home?″ he asked her with literal puppy-eyes. ″I'm too tired to go anywhere today and my body is all messed up from the jetlag.″

″And you think you're the only one?″ she asked, raising her eyebrow at him. Sometimes her tough guy could be quite the complainer. And it was somehow adorable.

″Then lets just relax here together,″ Jay grinned. ″This munchkin will provide us enough action anyway.″

″Mama come,″ Emilia demanded, looking at Erin with expectant eyes and reaching her hand out for her.

″See, today the princess and the king rule the house, huh?″ Jay chuckled.

″Not quite because the queen still has the deciding word,″ Erin laughed. ″I'd love for us to just hang out on our couch all day but your dad took care of Emmy all week and he's eager to see more pictures and listen to our stories, so the least we can do is go there for coffee and pie and dinner later.″

″Well Em, I guess we don't have a choice here,″ he sighed dramatically.

″That's right, you don't,″ Erin winked sweetly and took Emmy from Jay's lap to change her clothes into one of her summerly outfits, assuming that this would be the last time this year, or in general, that she could put her daughter into one of these adorable rompers. Because next summer she would long have outgrown them and the temperatures were supposed to drop significantly within the next couple of days, the sun still providing them an Indian Summer though.

It didn't come as a surprise that they didn't make it to Robert's house in time – they've barely been somewhere in time ever since having a child and leaving the house has become a challenge of its own – and so they rang the bell on Robert's huge, wooden front door about fifteen minutes later than they'd planned to show up.

″Erin, Jay,″ Robert welcomed them with a warm smile. ″And hello sunshine,″ he said to Emilia, who comfortably rested on Erin's arm.

″Hi Robert,″ Erin smiled and wrapped the arm that wasn't occupied by Emilia, around him. ″Thank you so much for taking care of our little monkey.″

″She was an absolute pleasure. Although I gotta admit that she has quite a lot of energy,″ he laughed.

″She's got that from her mom,″ Jay grinned innocently and whether Erin wanted to admit it or not, he was right. Emmy'd inherited her wild, feisty, stubborn, energetic personality. ″Hi dad,″ he then smiled at his father and hugged him shortly as well.

″Happy belated birthday, son,″ Robert said, giving him a pat on the back.

″Thanks,″ Jay said back before Robert guided them inside the house.

Jay'd expected a relaxed afternoon and evening at his childhood home, telling his father about their trip while Emilia and Crispin would play in the garden but the moment they all stepped into the living room, this day took a surprising turn as lots of the people they loved and called family – Will, Natalie, Owen, Hank, Kevin, Alvin, Antonio, Sylvie, Mouse, Sarah, Platt, Rylie and Luke – were standing there, throwing confetti and yelling: ″Surpriiiiiiiiise.″

″This is a surprise indeed,″ Jay laughed after a moment of being speechless and shook his head slightly. ″I expected a lot of things but not this.″

″Yeah, I bet you didn't,″ Will said. ″Let us wait here forever,″ he laughed. ″We thought you had that under control, Erin?″

″Sorry folks, it wasn't all easy to convince him to drag his lazy body off the couch,″ Erin chuckled, giving her perplex husband the sweetest and most innocent possible glance.

″You knew?″

″Of course I did,″ she winked. ″Will brought me into the loop yesterday.″

″Well wow,″ Jay smirked. ″Thank you all for coming. I'm flattered.″

″Happy belated birthday, little bro,″ Will grinned and pulled Jay into a hug. ″I hope 34 will be all sorts of awesome.″

″It certainly started off great,″ he smiled at the ginger.

″Doesn't need a genius to figure that out,″ Will answered meaningfully, a grin still on his lips.

Everyone else congratulated Jay as well and more hugs were being shared before they all moved out on the generous patio to eat apple pie, muffins and Jay's special birthday cake that Rylie had baked for him, while the three kids and Crispin were running through the huge garden with the swimming pool, playing tag and making sure to leave grass stains for eternity on their clothes.

″This cake looks awesome, Ry,″ Erin smiled, helping her to bring all the cakes to the patio. ″You're really talented.″

″I'm not,″ Rylie answered, her cheeks blushing. ″I just had a great teacher.″

″Yeah, Kim's quite the champ,″ Erin admitted, wishing that she would just be half as talented when it came to baking as her best friend was. ″Speaking of Kim. Where is she? And her other half?″

″Oh, right, you don't know,″ she chuckled. ″They went on a mini-vacation. Left yesterday morning and will come back Tuesday evening.″

″That's great for them! Where did they go?″

″Mackinac Island. Have you ever been there?″

″Not yet,″ Erin denied. ″Jay and I wanted to go in May but...you know, after losing the baby I didn't feel like going. So we might go next spring because that's definitely one of the places I want to see.″

They all settled around the table a couple of minutes later and after blowing out the candles on his birthday cake and making a wish, they all digged into the chocolate brownie cake with icing, all the kids eating with their fingers, which left them looking like chocolate monsters as they had the brown stuff all over their faces. All of the parents around the table could definitely write books full of stories about little kids and the challenge to eat without that it ended in a total mess.

The afternoon consisted of playing with the kids – although the three of them got along great and played more or less peacefully with each other – and of Erin and Jay sharing stories about Iceland and showing them all the pictures they'd taken of all these magical and breathtaking places that seemed to be from another world. Of course everyone around the table recognized how Erin and Jay seemed to be as fine as they haven't been in months, their smiles real, their eyes sparkling and this deep bond of love visible for all of them, and they all smiled along with them, being more than glad that their friends were back in a good place after everything they've been through. Because watching them suffer and fall apart had surely be one of the hardest things for them to witness.

However, there was still one thing Erin needed to do, something that had to do with her still not being able to look Natalie in the eyes because of what had gone down between them on Rylie's birthday, and when her sister-in-law went inside the house all alone, she took this chance and followed her inconspicuously.

″Hey Nat,″ Erin said somewhat nervously and shyly after catching up on her.

The dark-haired woman turned around by the sound of her name and she couldn't hide the surprise on her face. ″Erin,″ she smiled warmly. ″Is everything alright?″

″Yeah, sure,″ she nodded quickly, biting her lower lip with her teeth. ″Actually...no. There's one thing that's not alright,″ she breathed out. ″Listen Natalie, I wanted to apologize for what happened on Rylie's birthday and for giving you the coldest possible shoulder.″

″I told you that I understand your reasons, Erin,″ Natalie answered.

″I know you do. And it's very sweet of you to be as considerate,″ she said, gazing at the small bump that formed under Natalie's shirt. She was now as far along that she couldn't hide her pregnancy anymore and this fact made Erin smile. ″I don't want you to think that I begrudge you having a baby although I have to admit that a couple of weeks back I was all bitter about your pregnancy. But not anymore. I'm okay with it and I'm happy for you, Natalie. I'm happy that you're allowed to experience a pregnancy with a partner by your side. And I'm happy to become an aunt again. I truly am.″

″Are you sure? You don't have to-″

″I'm sure,″ Erin smiled. ″There are some things that I can't change and so I better accept them and let go. Because not accepting them and holding on to them frantically doesn't change anything and instead they only make me drown. And I'm done drowning. I have an amazing husband and a beautiful daughter and a great family and that's what really matters. So yes, I'm sure that I can't wait to meet that little soul that's growing under your heart.″

″Me neither,″ Natalie smiled, running her hand over her abdomen. ″Thank you, Erin. This means a lot to me because I know that acceptance might be a simple word but it's one of the hardest things to put into action.″

″Yeah,″ Erin nodded pensively. ″Do you need a hand with preparing everything for the burgers?" she changed the topic after a moment of silence.

″Sure,″ Natalie smiled back and wrapped her arm around Erin's shoulder as they walked to the kitchen.

″So, how's that baby treating you?″ Erin asked.

″Well, the morning sickness is gone and I'm not as tired anymore. But I have a feeling that this baby is growing like crazy. I mean, look at this, with Owen I barely showed until I was 20 weeks.″

″Maybe it's two,″ Erin joked and laughed heartily.

″Jesus!″ Natalie laughed. ″Thankfully, it's definitely only one in there. But apparently women show faster with their second pregnancy because the uterus of course already carried a baby to term. So I guess I will end up even bigger than last time.″

″Yeah, most likely,″ Erin grinned. ″So on to the most important question: am I getting a niece or a nephew?″

″We don't know yet,″ Natalie answered. ″But ever since I learned about those Halstead statistics and how Jay's the only one in god-knows how many generations to have a girl, I somehow have a feeling that Will did those Halstead genetics justice and that I will get outnumbered even further.″

″Jay and I would've loved to have a little boy. You know, I already imagined having a boy that looks exactly like Jay, with his tousled hair and his freckles and his calm personality.″

″Oh Erin, I'm sorry-″

″There's no reason to be sorry,″ she interrupted her instantly. ″I'm fine.″

And for the first time in months, those words leaving her lips didn't feel like she was telling a lie.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

Reality had them back pretty damn fast and the Monday and Tuesday after returning from Iceland the bullpen took over their lives as they had a kidnapping case that made them run out of time and that required Jay to pull two double shifts while Erin left the bullpen around six in the evenings so she could pick up Emmy from Carol's daycare to spend at least two hours with her child before it was time to tuck her in. From Monday to Tuesday night, Jay didn't come home at all and Erin learned later that they all had just napped an hour in the breakroom. And just when they thought they had to work through another night, a call from a different district around mignight closed their case since it delivered the news no one wanted to hear and made them all hammer their fists against their desks in frustration because all those long hours had been for nothing.

So when Erin and Jay walked into the precinct on Wednesday morning, the mood wasn't the best because not only was Jay still frustrated – although he of course very well knew that this was sometimes how it went – he was also too tired to think straight because within the last 48 hours he's porbably slept seven hours altogether. And somehow he hoped there would no new case pop up this morning so they could all do their paperwork and then probably go home early which would allow him to spend a couple of hours with Emilia and Erin, their laughters and smiles being what he needed after the outcome of this case.

″Hey Kim!″ Erin's voice interrupted his thoughts of what they could do if they were indeed allowed to leave the precinct early this afternoon.

″Erin, hey!″ Kim called back and Erin changed her direction to have a quick talk with her friend.

″Uhm, I'll go upstairs already,″ Jay mumbled, motioning his head to the stairs.

″Okay,″ Erin nodded and let go of his hand.

″What's wrong with him?″ Kim frowned, watching Jay trudge up the stairs.

″Tough case,″ Erin answered, watching her husband disappear after keying in his code. ″They all basically worked 42 hours straight to find a kidnapped woman only for some cops from the 11th district fishing her body out of the Chicago river last night.″

″Ouh shit,″ Kim sighed. ″Those are the worst.″

″Yeah, they are,″ Erin agreed. ″But let us chat about something nice before I go up there and will be faced with all the paperwork this case left,″ she sighed. ″How was Mackinac?″

″It was amazing,″ Kim beamed. ″It's so beautiful and peaceful there, you can't imagine. What about Iceland?″

″It's other-wordly. Breathtakingly beautiful. Unbelievably peaceful. And simply spectecular,″ Erin smiled brightly. ″There are no words that would do this country justice. It's something you gotta see with your own eyes.″

″Sounds incredible.″

″It was. In so many ways,″ she said. One day she would tell her friend why Iceland had been an incredible journey but not now, when they only had around five minutes to exchange the latest news.

″Just like Mackinac,″ Kim winked.

″We should organize a girl's night. You and me and Rylie, a bottle of wine, chips and chocolate and any other unhealthy snack we want,″ she chuckled. ″Would be a perfect way to talk about Iceland and Mackinac, what do you think?″

″Sounds perfect to me,″ Kim smiled. ″I think you're the one with the crazy schedule, so just text me when it suits you best.″

″Will do,″ Erin answered. ″See you later then,″ she added with a wink and turned around on her heels to leave for her beloved paperwork.

″Uhm, Erin,″ Kim breathed out, her voice suddenly somewhat nervous.

″What's wrong?″ Erin frowned.

″There's actually something I gotta tell you,″ she almost whispered and took Erin by her hand to pull her away from the hall and Platt's front desk and she only stopped to move when they were by the vending machine where they had a little more privacy.

″Kim?″ she asked in utter confusion.

″Don't kill me, okay?″ she asked, not daring to look Erin in the eyes and instead fumbling on the zipper of her bag, her hand reaching inside after she'd successfully opened it.

″Why should I kill you?″ Erin laughed slightly, finding amusement in her in her friend's weird behavior.

″Because...″ she breathed out, her cheeks blushing as she revealed what she's been looking for.

And the little piece of jewelry that rested in Kim's hand left Erin speechless and maybe her friend had a reason to be scared after all. ″Tell me you didn't...″ she said.

″We did,″ Kim answered quietly but she couldn't hold back a happy smile.

″But...but...what about all the embarrassing games I planned on letting you do? What about Emmy being your flower girl? And our girl's weekend for your bachelorette's party? You can't just elope, Kim!″

″Well, we already did,″ she chuckled. ″And it was perfect. Just the two of us and no drama.″

″Kim...I...I really hate you right now. But at the same time I'm so happy for you,″ Erin smiled, the shock slowly disappearing from her face and she wrapped her arms around her friend to hug her tightly. ″Congratulations, Kim. I know you and Adam will have the best future.″

″Thank you, Erin,″ Kim smiled. ″And I'm sorry for eloping...-″

″Yeah that's a different story and something I will never forgive you,″ she joked. ″No seriously, what made you throw all your wedding plans overboard and just elope?″

″After what happened the last time when we were engaged, it suddenly just felt like the only right thing to do. Just the two of us, avoiding any possible family drama though we didn't exactly plan this. It was only when we were there already that I told Adam how beautiful it would be to marry in such a peaceful environment as just the two of us and how I would rather marry him right now instead of waiting for December. And he jumped right in, telling me that if this is what I wanted to do, we shouldn't waste another second. Although he was so excited about our wedding in December and having a big party.″

″The things we do for love...″ Erin smiled softly, giving Kim a meaningful glance, knowing very well how much Adam had wanted this big party.

″Yeah,″ she nodded. ″The things we do for love.″

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

When Erin joined all her male coworkers in the bullpen, it was obvious that Adam had already shared the news about him and Kim being husband and wife now and after sharing lots of hugs, the guys complained how Adam could do this to them because now they had no reason to go on a bachelor's weekend to celebrate Adam's last days as an unmarried man.

″I don't need to be a bachelor for us to have a bachelor's weekend,″ Adam said to make them stop complaining of how they ruined their plans of a weekend in Vegas. Because Adam was totally the Vegas-kind-of guy.

″Well, I'm not sure whether you understand the meaning of a bachelor's weekend, bro,″ Kevin laughed. ″Your last weekend in freedom with your brothers and you just gave that away.″

″Guys, I won't be held hostage in a cage just because I'm married now,″ Adam laughed.

″You sure about that?″ Erin raised her eyebrow at her colleague and it was always funny to watch how she had the ability to make him a little insecure with just a simple statement.

″I guess,″ he chuckled nervously.

″Let's hope you guess right,″ Erin winked sweetly. It was just too much fun to mess with him.

″Whatever,″ Adam smirked. ″You guys are all invited for drinks and snacks at Molly's tonight. So who's in?″

″In!″ they all chorused and raised their hands.

″What about you Linds?″ Adam asked Erin, who was the only one not raising her hand.

″We have a kid, Adam,″ she answered dryly. ″And when one of us goes out, the other has to stay home. That's how it goes.″

″Bring her to Molly's,″ he suggested and it seemed like he was dead serious about this.

″A toddler in a bar?″ Erin laughed. ″Geeez Adam, there are still lots of things you've got to learn.″

″She'll be excited to have all her uncles there.″

″She'll scream bloody murder and bring your party to an end after not even an hour,″ she chuckled. ″But I'll talk to Carol and Robert and in case one of them is free to come over tonight, I'll of course come.″

″Now that sounds a whole lot better,″ Adam cheered and he jauntily pulled her into another hug.

In the corner of her eye she could see Jay smiling at her like he's just fallen in love with her again. And so she threw him another amourous, genuine smile over Adam's shoulder because she hasn't given him many in recent months and she knew how much he loved to see this smile. And sometimes the things people did for love were such simple things as a smile. Especially when you knew that this simple smile meant the world to the man you loved...

Thanks for reading, I hope you liked all the fluff :-) please leave a review and let me know what you think. I'll try to upload the next chapter sooner but can't promise anything.