78. Where The Heart Is

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78. Where The Heart Is

One thing Erin and Jay haven't done in forever, due to their lives being this beautiful sometimes not-so-beautiful chaos of mastering the challenge Intelligence plus first one kid and then suddenly two simultaneously and managing all the other things that were constantly popping up in addition, was enjoying a night out with their friends and going for a couple of drinks after a long day or hard case or just because they felt like going out with those wonderful people they called family.

Erin had already been home, as always tuesdays only working until around 2.30pm, when Antonio'd asked whether Jay and his better half could maybe take the evening off from their parental duties and join them for a beer in their favorite bar. Even before Jay'd been able to answer anything, Hank, who'd heard the conversation about Molly's and beer and the team kinda complaining that Erin's and Jay's company has been tremendously missed in the last couple of months, said yes they could because he would come over later to play babysitter. That was that. Getting the evening off had been easier than expected.

And so it was exactly a week before Halloween that Erin found herself doing her hair a little nicer than usual and wearing some of her favorite clothes: black pants, a white shirt and her red leather jacket, Jay matching her perfectly in dark jeans, a black button-down and his black leather jacket.

″You know, we could still skip Molly's and go for dinner in the West Loop now that we have a babysitter,″ Jay suggested when he walked into the nursery where the light was dimmed and where Erin was sitting in the rocking chair, Emmy sitting in her lap, her precious little face resting against Erin's chest, her eyes closed and her mouth agape. ″Just the two of us. Some fancy food, a cocktail...″

″They would kill us, babe. It's really been forever since we were in Molly's altogether,″ she said and she honestly couldn't even remember as it was that long ago, as they'd mostly used the evenings they had a babysitter to do something as just the two of them. And other than that it had occasionally only been one of them who joined the others at Molly's while the other was at home fulfilling parental duties. ″But I probably have to cancel on them anyway,″ she added with a sigh, her thumb stroking over Emmy's hair and head lovingly.

″Why?″ Jay frowned and joined his two ladies to kneel down beside the rocking chair. ″You not feeling alright?″

″I'm good,″ she assured him, her eyes looking for his for a second before she peered down on her daughter again. ″She's not been really herself the last few hours. She was fussy and grumpy and whiny and wanted to be carried around all the time.″

Indeed, this didn't sound like Emilia at all. She was usually the happiest little girl, always in a good mood and ever so smiley. Other than when she woke up at night, when she got tired or when she really wanted or needed something, she wasn't a tad bit whiny. And being carried around all the time? Usually she was the happiest down on the floor with Crispin by her side, always crawling everywhere to explore the world and nowadays of course pulling herself up wherever she could and show her parents how perfectly she could stand already with the help of whatever piece of furniture was near by.

″And when I tried to put her into her crib while you were in the shower, she started to cry as soon as I didn't hold her anymore.″

″It's probably another tooth bothering her,″ Jay said and placed his hand on Emmy's back. ″Huh princess, is there another pearly white coming?″ he whispered.

″That's what I thought,″ Erin answered. Teething has offered them exactly this kind of drama every time a tooth broke through. So chances were high that she was having trouble with it once more. ″Or she's getting sick,″ she sighed.

″Let's hope it's just a tooth,″ Jay said. Lately, it seemed like they weren't allowed to catch a break and a sick baby would just fit right into their life that never offered them a dull moment.

″Yeah,″ Erin nodded. ″Come on baby girl, let's try the crib again,″ she whispered against Emilia's head and placed a kiss there as she got up.

They crossed the room together and Erin carefully put her into the crib. She stirred a little, let out a small sigh but didn't wake up again right away when Erin tucked her in and she lost the contact with her mom.

″Sleep well, princess,″ Jay whispered, stroking his hand over her head. ″Tomorrow everything will be better.″

″Whatever it is, you better sleep it off, little one,″ Erin said quietly and after staying by her crib for another couple of minutes to make sure that she was all settled, they turned the soft light on the bedside table next to her crib on and turned the big one off as they left the room.

″You rather wanna stay here?″ Jay asked as soon as they'd closed the door behind them, his hand traveling up to her cheek.

″Naah,″ she denied, snuggling her cheek into his palm, ″it's probably really just a tooth. And Hank knows how to handle her when she's teething.″

″Uh-huh,″ Jay nodded. ″And this might be another proof that she's indeed teething,″ he grinned and pointed his finger to her shirt, where a big spot of baby drool covered the white fabric right on her breast.

″Well, I guess I better change, huh?″ she chuckled slightly and shook her head. Never in her life has she used their washing machine more often than since having a child. These tiny people could really create a gigantic amount of dirty laundry every single day, it still amazed her. Not in a positive way though.

″You don't want to go to Molly's with our daughter's drool on your top?″ he smirked, a playful undertone in his voice.

″Preferably not,″ she winked. ″Can you check on Luke, please? Whether he changed into his pajamas and is in bed already?″

″Sure,″ he confirmed.

″Thank you,″ she murmured against his lips and brushed her own against them shortly but sweetly.

When Jay entered Luke's room, he indeed found the boy wearing his pajamas, which was something, but instead of lying in bed he was still sitting on the floor, building railroad tracks through the entire room and Jay had to exercise his authority to make clear that when they said he should go to bed to wait for them there, they wanted to find him in bed and not still playing with his toys. After almost four weeks of living with them it was time to give him some rules and not allow him everything just because he's had a hard couple of weeks adjusting to this new situation. That was also what the teachers in pre-school had told them: that Luke had quite some trouble with listening to rules. Which was a result of Rylie not being exactly strict with him and of him being with his uncle or on his own too often. He was used to do things the way he's always done them but now, for the very first time, he really had to listen to the things other people told him and didn't always get his way.

However, Jay handled the situation well with just the right amount of parental authority and could even read Luke a short story once he was under the covers, and by the time Hank arrived, Luke was sleeping and Emilia was thankfully still sleeping as well and after Erin had checked on them both again, they were good to go.

″Emmy's not been her usual self today, she's probably teething, so she might not sleep too well,″ Erin told Hank in the hallway, her hand intertwined with Jay's as she gave some last instructions. ″When you get the feeling that something's not right with her, call and we'll come back. The same goes for Luke. He usually sleeps through the night but in case he wakes up and doesn't feel comfortable with the situation of neither of us being there, call and we'll come back.″

″Yes mama bear,″ Hank smirked at his pseudo-daughter, leaning in the doorway casually and waiting for them to finally leave.

″I mean it,″ she chuckled.

″I know, kiddo.″

″Good,″ Erin grinned. ″It would be great if you could check on Emmy from time to time, just to make sure that she's not developing a fever.″

″Will do,″ Hank nodded. ″Now get outta here, I bet they're already waiting for you.″

″Most likely,″ Jay laughed and glanced at his watch that showed him that they were of course late. This was another thing that has changed ever since they were parents: they barely made it anywhere in time. Something always popped up that made them run late.

″Alright, alright, let's go,″ she grinned innocently, holding her hand up in defence as if it wasn't her fault that they were late.

″Have fun,″ Hank waved them goodbye when he closed the door behind him and he could only smile and slightly shake his head by the fact how much of a mama bear Erin was. Being a mother was something he hadn't exactly thought she would need not that long ago but nowadays he knew that probably nothing has ever fulfilled her more than being a mother.

XxXxXxXxXxXxX

Molly's was packed with firefighters, doctors, nurses, cops and some people from the neighborhood and it wasn't a big surprise that their team mates were already impatiently waiting for them. They all cheered when Erin and Jay finally stepped into the crowded bar, joked that they'd already thought they would stand them up, and then moved closer together in the booth so they would find a spot. Two more beers and a round of shots were ordered instantly, for sure the only shot Erin would drink tonight as this kind of alcohol wasn't her thing anymore at all and she preferred a beer or a cocktail over shots and hard liquor anytime.

″Where's Kim?″ Erin asked Adam and sipped on her beer.

″Nightshift. There's this event going on in Millenium Park and they needed cops for that, so Platt basically didn't give her much of a choice.″

″Yep, that sounds like our lovely desk sergeant,″ Jay chuckled slightly.

″What about Sarah?″ Erin asked, changing her gaze from Adam to Mouse.

″Nightshift,″ Mouse also said.

″And Sylvie?″ she asked, looking at Antonio.

″Well, nightshift,″ he laughed.

″Wow,″ Erin laughed. ″Makes me somehow even gladder that Jay and I work in the same unit.″

″Lucky you,″ Antonio winked at his younger colleague. ″But this is an evening just for us anyway, so...″ he said, helping the server, who brought the shots in that moment, to give one glass full of this burning liquor to everyone.

″To Intelligence,″ he toasted and raised his glass, the others doing the same. ″Everyone did a fine job today. That was one of the cases that needed to be solved.″

″To Intelligence,″ they all chorused and nodded in agreement before the glasses found their ways to their mouths, the dark brown liquid burning down their throats and then making its way right into their heads.

Evenings with the team were there to not talk about work or the case that had them all robbed their sleep last night. They were there to enjoy these team vibes and each other's company and their conversations went from Kevin talking about his siblings and Antonio talking about his kids, who were around the same age as Kevin's siblings and had similar high School and college trouble, to them discussing why the Cubs hadn't made it to the World Series this year and why the Bears not for once could surprise everyone by assembling a team that didn't cause their loyal fans headaches. They ordered more shots, Erin declining politely, and while they all poured more of the brown liquor down, she excused herself to the restrooms, mainly because she wanted to check her phone for any messages and didn't want to look like the overprotective mother she was when it came to Emilia, in front of her team. Though they of course all knew that.

When she pressed the button for her screen to light up on the way back from the restroom, it showed zero new messages, which should've made her feel easier as it was a sign that Emmy was doing okay, but somehow it didn't. Her gaze was still concentrating on her phone as she was contemplaiting to give Hank a quick call, just to make sure Emilia wasn't going nuclear right now, when she more or less ran directly into Kelly Severide thanks to not paying attention where she was going.

″Hey Miss Halstead,″ Kelly laughed. ″Haven't seen you in months and now you run me down?″

″Uhm, sorry,″ Erin chuckled. ″Wasn't my intention, Mister Severide.″

″Forgive and forget,″ he smiled. ″You look good. How are you doing?″

″Well, there are days when I ask myself how I even manage it from getting up to going to bed but other than that,″ she laughed, ″not too bad.″

″I heard you and Jay are fostering a boy now,″ Kelly nodded.

″Always nice to know that the moccasin telegraph works,″ she noticed with a smile.

″Come on Erin, that's not really a big secret around here,″ he winked.

″No, probably not,″ she agreed.

″You have all my respect for doing this, I bet it's not always easy,″ he said, some real admiration in his voice.

″Thank you,″ Erin answered. ″It's a challenge. But this boy is worth any challenge.″

″That's most important,″ Kelly nodded. ″Anyway, I don't wanna keep you from going back to your team any longer. It was nice meeting you, Erin,″ he added and pulled her into a short hug that wasn't awkward or anything.

″You too.″

She was already walking past him and into the direction of her people when a sudden thought hit her and she spun around again. ″Uhm Kelly?″

″Yeah?″ he asked, turning around to her again.

″Can I ask you for a favor?″

″Depends on the favor,″ Kelly grinned.

″Luke's turning five on Halloween and right now it's his biggest dream to become a firefighter one day so he can drive the big truck. Do you think there might be the possibility that he can sit in the truck for a couple of minutes on his birthday?″

It seemed like Kelly didn't even have to consider her request. ″I'm sure we can work something out that his dream comes true,″ he smiled. ″I'll text you.″

″Thanks,″ Erin smiled back and then joined her team for real this time, everyone, she as well, having a new beer in front of them so the evening could continue for a little while longer.

″Emmy alright?″ Jay murmured into her ear as soon as she took the spot next to him, his hand finding its usual spot on her thigh. This man knew her too well.

″I didn't call him,″ she answered. ″I wanted to but then I literally ran Severide down and we talked for a minute and then I asked him for a favor for Luke's birthday next week and then I...forgot. But there was no message, so I guess it's all fine.″

″What's the plan for Luke's birthday?″ he asked curiously.

″I'll tell you later,″ she winked, her own hand joining his on her thigh.

In her absence, the guys have moved on from the Cubs and Bears to the Hawks and Erin tried her best to be a part of the conversation about players, tactics, possible championships and their hopes about bringing the Stanley Cup back home after 2015. After working with a team of men, of sports-crazy men, for almost five years already, she was used to these kind of conversations. Every Monday morning would start with the guys discussing the latest results of the Chicago teams over a cup of coffee and especially since Jay was a part of her life, her knowledge has increased tremendously. Though she'd of course known about touchdowns and homeruns before Jay had made it his priority that she knew everything about baseball, hockey, basketball, football and soccer.

But next to giving her opinion from time to time and trying to laugh about the jokes of her favorite goofs, she more and more had the urge to give Hank a call and when she looked at her phone for the fourth time in 20 minutes, to check for any messages, she felt Jay moving his hand atop hers and squeezing it softly.

″Your heart's not here right now, is it?″ he whispered into her ear.

″Not really,″ she admitted, an apologetic glance in her eyes. She didn't even know why she was that uneasy. She just had the feeling she should be home with her daughter instead of drinking another beer in Molly's.

″Then let's go home,″ he answered with an understanding smile.

″No,″ she shook her head. ″We can stay. She's most likely fine and I'm just paranoid.″

″Er, your heart's at home. So we go home that you can be there as well.″

Even after all these years, the endless amount of love that sparkled from his ocean blue orbs still overwhelmed her. ″Okay.″

Jay quickly told their team members that Emmy wasn't doing well and that they had to go home, which everyone of course understood. Kids and family always came first. They wished them lots of fun for the remainder of the night but reminded them to not overdo it as tomorrow was a workday that should better not start with an aspirin cocktail for half of the unit. Nonetheless they made sure to order them another round of beer on their way out as an apology that they were dropping out early.

They were almost at the car, Jay already pressing the button to open it, when Erin's phone rang and Hank told her that Emilia was indeed not doing well.

XxXxXxXxXxXxX

Emilia's screaming welcomed them as soon as they opened the door to their house and without taking her shoes or jacket off, Erin stormed into the living room where she found Hank trying to calm the baby down by rubbing soothing circles onto her back while walking around.

″There's mommy,″ Hank said, seemingly relieved that they were back, and handed the almost 9-month-old to Erin.

″Hey sweetie,″ Erin soothed and pressed her crying daughter against her chest. ″What's wrong, huh? Is something hurting you? You're not feeling well?″

″She woke up and wouldn't stop,″ Hank explained, worriedness written all over his face. ″Not even Crispin could calm her. Her cheeks seemed to be a little warm, so I took her temperature and it was slightly elevated. When I offered her something to drink, she refused it and just kept on crying. That's when I called you.″

″She still drank earlier but she refused her food as well even though she got small pieces of potatoes and some pees and she usually loves that. So I thought she's teething and her gums ache too much to eat,″ Erin sighed, sensing that this was worse than teething and that their daughter was indeed fighting some virus. ″Ssssshh, Emmy, it's going to be alright. We will figure out what's going on and help you. Just let mommy check on your temperature again,″ she said and reached for the clinical ear thermometer that lay on the dining table.

″It was 100.9 around 40 minutes ago when I checked it.″

″It's 101.5 now, so I'd say someone is developing a fever, huh bug?″ she asked her daughter and kissed her forehead.

″I have some Baby Tylenol here,″ Jay said when he entered the room, opposite to Erin without shoes and jacket, waving the red package as he joined them. ″Hey princess, how are you?″ he asked softly and stroked over her brown-blonde hair.

″We can't give her any. It's been ages since we last had to give her some and I have no idea which dose she gets,″ Erin sighed.

″That's why I called Will while I was looking for this upstairs in the bathroom,″ he smiled faintly. Of course her Mister Incredible thought of everything. This man simply never ceased to amaze her.

″Daddy's the best, Emmy,″ she whispered against the baby's head before turning her gaze to Jay and giving him a thankful smile. ″Now you will get better.″

″Alright, I will leave the three of you alone then,″ Hank said and got closer to Erin so he could kiss Emilia's head for goodbye. ″Goodnight pumpkin, get well soon.″

″Thanks for everything,″ Erin tiredly smiled at her father-figure.

″Always, kiddo,″ Hank grinned and kissed her forehead. ″Make sure this munchkin gets better. Of course you don't have to come in tomorrow.″

″I appreciate it though I hope she'll be able to fight it off and be back to her usual self tomorrow.″ It was a wish that she deep down inside knew was unlikely to come true.

As soon as Hank was gone, they gave Emilia the Tylenol and offered her something to drink again but once more she refused which was what worried Jay and Erin the most. Developing a fever and not drinking was the worst out of all combinations. They walked with her through the living room until the crying slowly vanished, the Tylenol doing quite the job, and then wrapped a thick blanket around her to walk with her through the garden now that she wouldn't wake up the whole neighborhood anymore because fresh air has always helped her to settle.

Surrounded by the quiet of their backyard, they stayed outside until she was sleeping all snuggled up to Jay's chest and then went back inside and upstairs, settling her in their bed tonight since they wanted to have her close so they could easily check on her throughout the night. When she was lying between them, even the dimmed lights from the lamp on the bedside tables showed that Emmy's cheeks were rosier than usual and covering her forehead with her palm, Erin was sure that she was even warmer now than earlier when actually the Tylenol should help to keep her temperature or lower it as well.

While Emmy seemed to sleep deeply, neither Jay nor Erin could really fall asleep and drifted more into some kind of slumber, literally sleeping with one eye open, so they didn't startle too badly when Emilia started to whimper, that rapidly turned into loud screaming, at around 1.30pm, not even three hours after she's been up the last time.

″Hey Emmy, what's the matter?″ Jay yawned, adjusting his position and picking his daughter up into his arms.

″Oh sweet girl, if you could only talk,″ Erin sighed, leaning her head against Jay's shoulder, her hand checking Emilia's forehead once more. ″Jay she's burning,″ she noticed, some panic in her voice, and she reached for the thermometer and the bottle with cold fennel tea on the bedside table.

″Come on baby girl, drink something,″ Jay said, taking the bottle from Erin's hand. He tried to offer it to Emilia but she refused to take it and when he tried to put it into her mouth, she went even more nuclear and it resulted in the fennel tea being spread all over their sheets.

″Emmy come on,″ he sighed, picking the bottle up again while Erin took Emilia's temperature.

″105.1,″ Erin almost gasped, and she couldn't hide the shock that reading those numbers caused.

″105.1?″ Jay echoed, his eyes widening. He hasn't expected Emilia's temperature to be that high, especially compared to three hours prior.

″We have to take her to Med,″ she managed to say, swallowing down her inner panic in an attempt to stay calm. ″She's not drinking, she has a fever and she seems to be in pain. I can't wait until tomorrow morning to go and see the pediatrician.″

″Yeah, that's the only right thing to do,″ Jay agreed. ″Go and change, I make her ready.″

″You're not coming with?″ she asked but even before he answered she remembered that it wasn't just the three of them anymore and that there was this almost 5-year-old boy sleeping in the room down the hallway.

″Someone has to take care of Luke and we don't have the time to wait until a babysitter arrives,″ he said, this words breaking his own heart because he absolutely didn't want to leave his two girls alone. Reaching for her hand and squeezing it, he said: ″Hey, deep breath, okay? You can do this and Emmy will be fine. Will's working the graveyard shift and I will call him to tell him that you're coming. One Halstead is better than none.″ He tried to make it sound light, to make her feel better about this situation and somehow it even worked.

″Huh,″ she almost laughed out by his statement. ″Not the one that I want but I take it.″

″Good, now go and change.″

While Jay put some socks on Emmy's feet, a beanie on her head and then put her jacket on, Erin quickly, as in under five minutes, pulled her hair into a ponytail, slipped into a pair of yoga pants, a hoodie that was actually hers, some sneakers and her jacket and then took the still cyring baby from Jay's arms. He accompanied them to the garage where Erin settled Emmy in the car seat and assured his wife once again that everything was going to be fine. He could literally hear the heart pounding in her chest so he had to make sure that she was calm enough to drive and was in the right place with her mind, not going to that one place with all the worst-case-scenarios.

″Call me as soon as you know something,″ he said with a quick peck on her lips.

″Of course,″ she nodded, knowing exactly that Jay would not sleep a wink until both, she and Emmy were back home. Healthy. And happy.

When Jay watched them driving off in the distance, he wondered whether life was about to throw another loop for them by giving their daughter any kind of dangerous disease. And now he could hear his own heart pounding as well, could feel the panic creeping up that he'd managed to keep down in front of Erin since she'd needed him to be calm and in control of the situation.

Not that he actually ever was calm when something concerened his wife or his daughter.

XxXxXxXxXxXxX

Emilia was still crying in a way that pulled on Erin's heartstrings when she scooped her baby into her arms seconds after parking the car in front of Chicago Med.

″Uncle Will is going to help you, honey,″ she told her daughter as she made her way through the empty waiting area and right into the Emergency Department.

″Erin!″ Maggie greeted her as soon as she stepped in. ″Come on, Will's already waiting for you in trauma four.″

″Thank you Maggie,″ Erin said, letting out a breath of relief only because of being here, because of someone being able to help Emilia to get better.

″Hey sweet girl, what's going on?″ Maggie asked Emilia as they made their way to the trauma room. ″Did you catch a bad virus?″

″She has a fever, refuses to drink and she's just really not herself,″ Erin sighed.

″Yeah I can see that,″ Maggie nodded. Everyone knew Emilia as the smiley little girl, a real ray of sunshine. ″Your uncle is going to fix you, sweetheart,″ she added, squeezing Emmy's tiny hand.

″Damn sure he is,″ Will said, stepping out of the trauma room.

″Hey Will,″ Erin smiled forcedly.

″Hey Erin,″ he smiled back. ″And hello my little patient. Let's see what's going on with you.″

As soon as they were inside the trauma room, Erin took Emmy's beanie and jacket off and opened the buttons on her pajama so Will could sound her heart and lungs while Maggie took her temperature. It was up to 105.4 now and the fact that it was still rising made Erin all uneasy. When Will opened her mouth with a scoopula to look down her throat, she expected Emmy to go more nuclear again than just whimpering but the noise level in the room stayed the same, the fever and dehydration making her all groggy and limp.

″I think that's the problem right there,″ Will said, pulling the scoopula back, and met Erin's expectant gaze. ″She's having a tonsillitis. She has swollen and white coated tonsils. That's why she doesn't want to drink and why she screamed as much. Every time she swallows it hurts her a lot, right sweetie?″ Will asked, stroking his fingers over Emmy's cheek.

″Oh God, poor girl,″ Erin murmured against Emmy's head and alone the thought of what kind of pain she must've been in within the last few hours let tears spring to her eyes. ″What can we do about it?″

″I'd like to let the pediatrician on call have a look on her and discuss the best treatment with him but in fact there's no other way than antibiotics, which I know is the worst word for parents. But we need to get the fever down and antibiotics are very effective,″ he explained his sister-in-law. ″In addition she might better get an IV to rehydrate her a bit.″

″An IV?″ Erin echoed incredulously, remembering her daughter's heart-wrenching screams from the last time she'd needed an IV, back in April after having a reaction to her shots.

″I know, Erin,″ Will said understandingly, putting his hand on her upper arm. ″But it will help her to deal with the fever until the antibiotics operate and she's not refusing her bottle any longer.″

At this point, Erin had to inhale a deep breath to keep her tears at bay and swallow down the knot in her throat, giving her all to not break down in front of Maggie and Will by the thought of someone torturing her daughter with a needle that was too big for her arm. ″So she has to stay here?″ she asked weakly.

″For a couple of hours, yes,″ Will confirmed. ″Look, Erin. We bring her to a room upstairs, she'll get the antibiotics and fluids and then she can sleep it off because this stuff will help her to sleep for a couple of hours. And then probably in the early afternoon you can take her home.″

″Okay,″ she nodded slowly. ″But I stay with her.″

″Of course you do,″ Maggie smiled at her. ″Your daughter's not going anywhere without you.″

They brought Emmy up to the pediatric ward where the pediatrician on call tonight, Dr Fleming, examined her again and came to the same conclusion as Will, the tonsillitis being treated in the exact same way Will had told her. When Dr Fleming started to work on Emilia's arm with a big needle, Emilia naturally reacting to it instantly, Erin almost lost it but this time there was no Jay who could take care of this while she was breaking down in front of the room or vomitting the contents of her stomach into the toilet, so she had to be strong for her daughter although she just wanted to cry with her. Her eyes were burning, tears threatening to fall, but at least Dr Fleming seemed to be more capable of doing this than the doctor back in April had been, only needing two tries instead of four, which was still one too many for Erin's liking.

Once Emilia was settled in her little bed with the IV in her arm that brought the fluids and antibiotics into her veins, covered by a blanket that was unfortunately not her own as Erin had totally forgotten to bring anything in the heat of the moment, her breathing evened out quickly and she fell asleep. It was only when her daughter was peacefully sleeping in front of her, her tiny hand covered by her own, that Erin could feel some tension leave and had finally time to call Jay, who was for sure already going crazy at home, probably pacing up and down the stairs all the time. It was needless to say that he was relieved when his screen finally lit up, showing Erin as the caller.

The night passed without any major happenings, Emmy sleeping as her body fought the virus and regained its strength and Erin sitting next to her, keeping an eye on her all night. She neither wanted to sleep, nor was she even able to sleep but by the time the dawn set in and everything started to get busier in front of the room, she felt like a zombie, her own exhaustion written all over her face.

″Hey there,″ she suddenly heard a familiar voice behind her and for a moment she wondered whether she was hallucinating, her head hearing the voice of the man she wanted to be here so badly.

She spun around and in case she actually wasn't hallucinating, not only her ears playing a trick on her but also her eyes, he was really there. The one man whose embrace she's longed for all night.

″Hey,″ she said quietly, hints of a real smile appearing on her face, and she jumped up from the chair and right into his arms, nestling into his embrace and hoping that he would never stop holding her like this.

″How are you holding on?″ he mumbled into her hair.

″I'm hanging in there,″ she answered against his chest.

″And my little princess?″

″She's been sleeping for the last couple of hours but I think she's getting better.″ Erin lifted her head to press her lips against his before lacing her fingers through his to pull him to the crib.

″Hey Emmy,″ he whispered and stroked her cheeks. ″You had us worried last night, young lady. You know that this no-hospitals-deal actually includes you as well, not only mommy and me.″

″Honestly, I hate this place. I have the feeling we can ask for a quantity discount by now.″

″Yeah, maybe we can negotiate some flatrate,″ Jay grinned, wrapping his arm around her shoulder as they peered down on their daughter.

″Something like that,″ she chuckled slightly. ″How did you even manage to come here as early? And where's Luke?″

″Luke's the reason why Will's not home yet,″ he winked somehow cheekily. ″I woke him earlier than usual and once I was here and saw my brother just chilling in the doctor's lounge, I parked Luke with him for a couple of minutes.″

″I bet your brother liked that,″ Erin laughed.

″They watch some videos on his phone, so it's not that bad. And anyway, that's a family matter and he's happy to help.″

″Yeah,″ she nodded pensively. ″There's nothing I'm more thankful for than this family.″

XxXxXxXxXxXxX

It was Natalie who discharged Emilia in the early afternoon after Erin had basically bugged her sister-in-law for hours to let them go home because she was sure that Emmy would get better faster in her familiar surroundings, sleeping in her own bed with her stuffies and her blanket. The little girl was still groggy and whiny due to the fever but she was drinking on her own again, even eating a little bit of pulp, the antibiotics doing a proper job by reducing the fever and the inflammation in her throat so she wasn't in as much pain anymore.

In general, having a sick baby sucked in many ways, mostly because Erin hated nothing more than seeing her child sick and not being her usual self, but one thing she wouldn't complain about was how cuddly Emmy was. She always wanted to snuggle with her mother and fell asleep best when they were both lying on the couch or in the bed, Emilia using her mother's chest as pillow and enjoying how Erin rubbed her back and cradled her to sleep. And during the night, when she woke up several times, it was Jay who got some extra snuggles while cradling her back to sleep in the rocking chair.

While Jay of course had to go to work during the day and could only be there for his sick daughter in the evenings and during the night, Erin stayed at home with her for full three days, Emilia slowly doing better and being interested in her toys, in Crispin and in Luke again. And no later than when she greeted her parents standing on her own feet in her crib again, grinning all cheeky, and later in the morning pulled herself up with the help of the couch and even tried to stand without holding herself anywhere, it was obvious that the worst was over and that she was feeling up to nonsense again.

With Emilia being sick and their life being this chaotic once more, Erin of course hadn't managed to visit Rylie like she usually did on Wednesday afternoon after finishing her shift around 2.30 and before picking up Luke from preschool and Emmy from Carol's place, so she found herself passing the threshold of the Center of Hope on Sunday, two days before Luke's birthday.

″Erin!″ Rylie smiled brightly when she saw her walking into the common room, and she jumped up from her chair to meet her halfway.

″Hey!″ Erin smiled back and pulled the young girl into a hug. She's been in rehab for a little over four weeks now and the positive changes were already obvious. She looked healthy, her blonde hair cut a little shorter and shining, her eyes not as sad and hopeless anymore, the dark circles gone. But she still reminded Erin of a teenager with her tiny frame almost disappearing in a big hoodie.

″How are you doing?″ she asked as they walked back to the small table where Rylie'd painted a mandala.

″I'm good. I feel good. Better every day in fact,″ Rylie answered as they sat down.

″That's great, Rylie.″

″Uh-huh,″ she nodded and bit her lower lip with her teeth as if she was embarrassed about the things she said next. ″I...uh...I'm even doing that good that they allow me to spend an afternoon outside of the facility. Not alone of course.″

″Hey, why are you embarrassed about that? That's amazing!″ Erin exclaimed excitedly.

″Yeah...it is...I guess,″ Rylie smiled sheepishly. ″It's just the first time that someone told me I'm doing good...and that I get a reward for what I'm doing.″

″You've earned it, girl,″ Erin assured her. ″I mean, look at your progress. You're talking with the psychologist, you attend cooking classes and everything else they offer and you're basically their model student. That's something to be proud of,″ Erin winked. She knew from the people that worked with Rylie on a daily basis, that the young mother was eager to turn her life around, was always attentive during classes, asked questions and took notes. She even seemed to help other girls that were struggling and was in general doing no wrong. This of course didn't mean that she would make it once she was out, real life would for sure try to hit her, but right now she was on the right way.

″I...I want to take that chance that I have thanks to you,″ she admitted, giving Erin a thankful smile. ″And I want to have Luke back.″

″I know,″ Erin smiled back at her. ″And you're on the best way to make that happen.″

″Huh,″ she only nodded, staring at her hands in her lap and Erin knew that she had more on her mind. ″Talking about Luke...″ she started and lifted her head to look at Erin. ″I thought...I could maybe use this free afternoon thing to visit him on his birthday.″

For a moment, Erin didn't know what to answer as her brain tried to from a sentence that should be able to tell Rylie that this wasn't a good idea without making it sound like she didn't want to have Rylie around her own son and tried to shield him from her.

″Rylie, listen,″ she sighed. ″Those last few weeks have been hard for Luke. You know that. And seeing you, he would be ecstatic,″ she smiled faintly. ″But it would only make things harder for him. He wouldn't understand why you have to leave him again, why you can't visit him every day. In the beginning it was hard for him to accept that you're not here and only now he's started to accept that the phone calls are the only possibility to talk with you. He's okay with hearing your voice and us telling him that you will be back soon. But he would not be okay with you visiting but not staying. It would confuse him and bring him back to square one.″ Erin had the feeling she was rambling and only hoped that what she said made sense, that Rylie understood the point she made, she tried to make.

″He's my son!″ Rylie called, tears looming in her eyes. ″I never missed his birthday before!″

″And you will never miss another birthday, okay?″ Erin asked, her voice steady and calm but emphatic. ″But you have to understand that this is not about you. It's about Luke and right now, he just simply wouldn't understand and would have to go through the same thing again he went through five weeks ago. And just for one second, consider whether it would be good for you to see him now and then go back here for at least another month. I think, it would jeopardize all those little steps you've come so far, wouldn't it?″ she asked, sensing that if Rylie saw her son now, she would probably do something very stupid, as in running away and trying to take her son with her because she thought she was healed, because after seeing him she wanted to be back with him even more.

At first, it didn't seem like Rylie would answer that question, would just ignore it and give Erin a silent confirmation that those thoughts weren't exactly wrong. But then she nodded her head slightly and whispered: ″Maybe.″

″That's not worth it. If you keep on doing what you've been doing the last five weeks, you will be out of here by early December. That's not even five more weeks,″ she encouraged her.

″Okay,″ Rylie nodded, swiping the tears, that fell from her eyes, away with her hand.

″Okay,″ Erin echoed, letting out a breath she hadn't known she's been holding.

″My heart will be with him because my heart is where Luke is,″ she whispered.

″And that's all that matters,″ Erin agreed and they fell into a moment of silence, Erin giving Rylie the time she needed to dry her tears.

″So this afternoon thing: how much do you know about this city? How much have you seen of this city?″ she asked when she had the feeling that Rylie has calmed down.

″Uhm,″ she stammered, shooting her a confused glance. ″I guess every tourist knows more about this city than I do.″

″Then we'll change that,″ Erin winked. ″I'll figure out a day and a time that suits me best and then I'll pick you up and we'll play tourists.″

″You...you want to spend an afternoon with me?″ she asked in disbelief.

″Yeah, I figured that would be the most fun for you. But you're totally free to spend the afternoon having one of those...guards around,″ she chuckled.

″You kidding?″ Rylie grinned, her face brightening up. ″I'm more than happy to get rid of them for a couple of hours.″

″Deal,″ Erin winked and extended her hand for Rylie to shake it.

″Deal,″ the young girl beamed. ″Thank you, Erin...you are...,″ she stammered, not finding the right words for everything she wanted to tell her, so she held them back until she could tell Erin all the things she deserved to hear. ″This really means a lot.″

XxXxXxXxXxXxX

″Okay, so I go and pick up the cake, bring it home, take care of those balloons and all the other stuff and then I come back, pick you up, we go and pick Emmy up and then we pick Luke up from preschool and drive to 51,″ Erin explained her plan in the locker room while she changed her shoes from her work boots to some comfy sneakers.

″That's lots of picking up,″ Jay chuckled, leaning against her locker casually.

″Well...yes...whatever,″ she laughed.

″When do you think you'll be back?″

″Be ready at 3.00,″ she said with a glance at the clock that was hanging on the wall over the door.

″Okay, so you'll be here at 3.30. Got it,″ he sassed.

″What? No!″ she called and got up only to punch her fist against his shoulder. ″I don't have the kids with me, so I'll be here in time.″

″Wanna bet about that?″ he asked, raising his eyebrow playfully. ″Just because you seem so convinced.″

″You know Jay Halstead,″ she narrowed her eyes at him. ″Sometimes I really wanna-″

″Kiss you?″ he finished her sentence and pressed his lips against hers before she could say anything. ″Yeah, me too,″ he smirked afterwards.

″Yeah, I guess sometimes even that,″ she grinned back all innocent and brushed her lips against his again before she left. Who would've thought two years ago that PDA in the workplace would ever be a thing for them?

Within the next hour, Erin went to the bakery to pick up Luke's specially ordered birthday cake, a chocolate chip cake with vanilla icing, Happy Birthday Luke written on it with chocolate icing, and Pluto being next to the writing, making this cake a real masterpiece, and then straight back home to decorate their dining room with balloons and some garlands and the table with confetti and two smaller gifts. He'd gotten two this morning already, during their chocolate-chip-pancake breakfast, and by the way his face had brightened up they figured he'd either not expected to get gifts or he simply was not used to getting more than one. And now an even bigger surprise was waiting for him at Firehouse 51 and Erin found herself being unusually excited.

She made it back to the 21st by 3.10pm and when Jay hopped into the car, she immediately said: ″Shut up.″

″I wasn't going to say anything,″ he chuckled and buckled his seatbelt. ″You know, because I'm a gentleman.″

″Yeah, sure,″ she laughed, threw him an amorous glance with his favorite dimpled smile and then pulled out on the street to drive straight to Carol.

Picking up Emmy and Crispin was followed by picking up Luke from preschool and once their car was full with two kids and a dog, Luke's excited chatter filled the air, the young boy making sure to tell them everything that happened at preschool today.

″We baked a cake together. A vanilla cake. And then we had to wait until it wasn't too hot to eat anymore and so we played a game and I was the one to choose the game,″ he told them proudly. ″And then they all sang for me and we ate the cake. There were five candles on it and I could blow them out all at once. So I wished for-″

″Sssshh, buddy, you're not supposed to tell anyone or it's not coming true,″ Jay interrupted him.

″Okay,″ he nodded. ″I got two pieces of cake but I shared my second one with Kayla.″

″Kayla?″ Jay asked. ″Who's Kayla?″

″She's my friend,″ Luke giggled. ″But Zoe is my friend as well and I didn't share with her, so she got mad,″ he said like it wasn't a big deal.

″Luke, why didn't you share with both of them?″ Jay asked. ″That's what a gentleman would do.″

″I shared my sandwich with her last week.″

″Waaaaaiit,″ Erin interjected. ″The sandwiches that I make for you every morning...you share them?″

″Yes,″ Luke nodded eagerly. ″The girls like them. And all the fruits.″

″The girls?″ Jay echoed, exchanging glances with Erin.

″Yes,″ he beamed. ″Kayla and Zoe and Jazmine and Mia.″

″Huh,″ Jay chuckled and then turned his head to Erin. ″Boy knows the drill: feed the girls and they adore you,″ he said with a low voice, his statement accompanied by a cocky wink. ″Right?″

XxXxXxXxXxXxX

Luke's eyes widened as soon as they were at the fire station, only being close to fire trucks being a dream coming true for him. Yet, he had no idea that the real surprise was even better.

″Wow,″ he breathed out, his eyes roaming the fire truck that was parked in front of 51.

″Hey guys!″ Kelly called and walked towards them and as soon as he was close enough, he asked: ″Are you Lieutenant Luke?″

The blonde boy looked at Erin and Jay for help. ″Am I?″ he asked all insecure, stunned by meeting a real firefighter.

″Yeah bud, I guess you are,″ Jay winked, kneeling down next to his foster son.

″I am,″ Luke then said to Kelly.

″Nice to finally meet you Lieutenant Luke,″ Kelly grinned and knelt down in front of him as well. ″I brought you a jacket,″ he said, and the arm he's hidden behind his back, revealed a firefighter jacket in children's size.

″For me?″ Luke whispered stunned.

″Of course. As a Lieutenant you need a proper jacket,″ Kelly winked. ″Let's try it on.″

With Jay's help, he slipped into the jacket, that was a little too big for him, and once he was wearing the dark jacket with the neon yellow stripes and letters, he was beaming in a way Erin has never seen before and it almost brought tears to her eyes seeing him this happy.

″Alright Lieutenant Luke, are you now ready for a ride in the fire truck with your driver Otis?″

By this question, Luke's mouth dropped open and since he was completely speechless, he only nodded his head in shock.

″Can I sit in front?″ he whispered.

″Of course you can, come on.″ Kelly opened the door and Jay lifted Luke up and into the driver's cab so he could sit next to Otis.

″One of you can join as well,″ he said to Erin, who was carrying Emmy on her hip, and Jay.

″Yeah, let the kid go with the kid,″ Erin laughed.

″You sure?″ Jay asked.

″Hop in already,″ she smirked and pushed him into the direction of the open door. He took the place next to Luke and wrapped his arm around the little boy to pull him closer and for a moment he felt the same excitement rushing through his body that probably rushed through Luke's as well.

″You ready for this?″ he asked.

″Yes,″ he beamed. ″Can we do the sirens?″ he asked Otis.

″But only for a second,″ Otis grinned and with that he started the truck and the sirens so they could start their short drive around the block.

Meanwhile, Erin, Emilia and Kelly stayed back and watched them driving off. ″Seriously Kelly, I don't know how to thank you for this. I've never seen him smile like this before. You made this day one he will remember forever.″

″Naaah, come on, give yourself some credit. It was your idea,″ he winked.

″My idea was for him to sit in the truck for a minute or two. And now he got a jacket and Otis is driving him around the block...this is so much more. Thank you,″ she smiled.

″Always, Erin,″ he said honestly. ″You know, this was my chance to finally give something back to you and probably I still had the feeling I have to make up for everything that happened after Shay...so I wanted to do this right.″

″I really appreciate it. But just so you know, next beer in Molly's is one me,″ she grinned.

″Count me in.″

They kept on doing their smalltalk for another ten minutes until the truck rounded the corner again and parked in front of the station, a beaming Jay and a beaming Luke leaving the driver's cab.

″Look at those two, I'm not sure who's smiling brighter,″ Kelly laughed.

″Boys will be boys I guess,″ Erin laughed as well and walked toward her two 'men' to welcome them back.

″How was it?″ she asked and the moment Luke opened his mouth, Erin was sure he wouldn't talk about anything else for the rest of the day. Or the rest of the week. Or probably for the rest of the year...

Thanks for reading! I hope you liked this chapter and it made you smile. Please leave a review and let me know what you think :)