21. Never Knew I Needed

Thank you all once again for the reviews! When I started this story I never expected that so many of you would like it, so your support really means a lot to me!

As I'm now enjoying my summer break I have lots of time to write until I go on vacation in five weeks, so here we go :)

Lyrics are from "Never Knew I Needed" by Ne-Yo. Sorry for all the songs lately but I like including some when they fit :)

I don't own anything.

21. Never Knew I Needed

″What happened?″ Jay asked her, his eyes checking on his surroundings, but he had to cough immediately as his throat was still sore from the intubation.

″Heyheyhey,″ Erin said and stroked his cheek. ″No speaking for now, okay? Just relax,″ she pleaded and pushed the emergency button so the doctors could check on him and his condition. It only took some seconds for Dr. Rhodes and another doctor from the ICU came running into his room but they stopped abruptly when they saw the reason why they've been called, some big smiles forming on their faces. They checked on his vitals, the reaction of his pupils, asked him some routine questions he only had to answer with yes or no, told him about the surgery and then he was allowed to drink some very small sips of water from a cup that Erin held for him.

″You good?″ she asked which he answered with a nod and laid back down into the cushions.

″Alright, we'll leave the two of you alone now,″ Dr. Rhodes then said and left the room together with his colleague just as Will entered the room.

″Sleeping beauty is awake,″ he grinned. ″Good to see you brother,″ he said and sat down on his bed.

″Can't say this about you,″ he still whispered but Erin could hear the teasing in his voice anyway, saw how he tried to suppress a little laughter tha would only hurt.

″Oh come on, you just came out of a coma and then this?″ Will laughed.

″Mhm. So how long was I out?″ he asked, his voice getting a little stronger, and looked from Will to Erin and back to Will.

″Just seven months,″ Will answered casually.

″What?!″ Jay echoed with wide eyes and sat up with one fast move. Too fast as he felt a stabbing pain going through the scar on his abdomen, through his head, through his torso, through his whole body.

″Will!″ Erin called and gave him a look as if she wanted to kill him and then pushed Jay back into his cushions again while Will mumbled ″sorry″.

″I didn't miss the birth of our baby, did I?″ he asked her quietly, his eyes looking for comfort in hers.

″No you didn't, it's just been three days,″ she answered and only now she realized that she was wearing one of his wide blackhawks-shirts that completely hid her belly. She got up and flattened the fabric over her stomach to show him that he hasn't missed anything.

″It grew,″ he smiled.

″I doubt it grew as much in three days that you can see it,″ she grinned, took her spot on the edge of his bed again and immediately reached for his hand again.

″I'll leave the two of you alone then. Just wanted to check on you and see whether the rumors are true,″ Will chuckled and gave his brother a pat on his shoulder.

″They are,″ Jay nodded.

″And I couldn't be happier about it,″ Will said and then left the room, giving the two of them their well-deserved alone-time.

″You should try to sleep, you look tired,″ Erin said, softly stroking his cheek, her eyes still being all worried.

″I slept the last three days, I'm good Erin,″ he answered, bringing his hand up to her face.

″You're not. You need to rest, so please give your body what it needs, okay?″

″Okay,″ he nodded and closed his tired eyes, enjoyed how her fingers tickled his arm. He could vaguely remember that after the explosion he had feared that he would never see her again so the last thing he wanted to do now was sleeping. But he knew she was right, he needed to sleep. He was tired, groggy, speaking hurt, breathing hurt and he was sure that without the pain killers every single inch of his body would hurt. He wanted to spend as less time as possible in the hospital so it was on him to give his body what it needed, no matter whether his mind wanted something different or not.

It took only some seconds and Jay was in dreamland again. Erin stayed for a little while longer, reflected all the things that had happened in the last three hours. When one of the nurses came to change his infusion and to give him new pain killers and then told her that he would sleep throughout the night, Erin gave him a soft kiss on his cheek and then left for her own room and later fell asleep feeling the tiniest bit of happy for the first time in days.

XxXxXxXxXxX

When Jay's eyes fluttered open on the following morning and he saw Erin sitting right next to his bed, a weak smile rushed over his face. He felt a little better than the evening before and his vision was a lot clearer, almost back to normal and breathing didn't hurt as much anymore.

″Good morning,″ Erin smiled and leaned down to kiss his lips and for the first time he was able to respond her kiss. How much she has missed the taste of his lips, the feeling when his lips met hers and then melted into a soft kiss.

″Can I have another one?″ he grinned as soon as they had finished and she didn't let him beg twice.

″Thank you,″ he winked afterwards.

″Was a pleasure,″ she smirked before she got serious again. ″How do you feel?″

″Better than yesterday.″

″Yeah?″ she asked.

″A little, yeah. But still feeling like I'm high, floating, flying or something,″ he said with a little laughter while glancing at her but the smile fell from his face when something else attracted his attention.

″What happened to your head?″ he asked, brought his hand up to the lump on her temple and now he was the one who was all worried.

″Uhm...nothing you need to worry about,″ she answered quietly and bit her lip.

″Erin please.″

″I...I just got a light concussion when I crashed with the floor the other night after your-″ she started to explain but was interrupted as Dr. Hanson entered the room.

″I thought I'd find you here and I guess you forgot your appointment with me?″ she greeted Erin.

″Damn,″ Erin cursed.

″No worries, you have some very good reasons to be here. But when you want to get discharged, you should come with me now,″ she winked and then came closer to Jay's bed.

″Good to have you back with us, Mr. Halstead,″ she smiled at him.

″Uhm...yeah...thanks,″ he stumbled while furrowing a brow. Why was everyone talking about having him back and what did Erin want to tell him before they got interrupted and much more important, why was Dr. Hanson talking about discharging her?

″I'll be back soon,″ Erin said, squeezed his hand for a moment and then followed her doctor without answering all his questions.

Jay tried to doze a little but his mind kept him awake. He needed to know what exactly had happened with him within the last few days and why Erin had crashed with the floor and has obviously been a patient in this hospital as well for the last few days. And had something happened to their baby, too or why did she have an appointment with her gynecologist when their next scheduled one was in four weeks? He had so many questions and yet no one was here who could give him some answers. He kept on thinking about this a little while longer, got worried that maybe something was wrong with their Baby and Erin hasn't told him about yet because she wanted to protect him, wanted him to get better first.

″Can't believe she left your side,″ his brother's voice made him stir from his thoughts.

″She has an appointment with her OB,″ he answered, giving his brother a meaningful glance.

″Oh,″ Will sighed and sat down in the chair.

″Tell me what happened these past few days,″ he pleaded.

″Jay-″

″Will, please. I need to know. Everybody is talking in secrets, until some minutes ago I didn't even know that Erin had a meet and greet with the hospital floor. What happened?″

″Jay you didn't only have some severe injuries,″ Will answered with a low voice and shook his head. ″You were almost dead. Your chances to survive were close to none at some point. In the night after your surgery, we thought we're going to lose you. Several times. And although we got you back every time we still didn't believe you'd make it. We didn't give up on you but nobody dared to hope that you will come back to us either. And then a miracle happened, Jay. Just a couple of hours after your lung failed over and over again your condition started to improve. Rapidly. We still can't really explain this but it seems like your relentless fighting spirit saved your life. That you're talking with me now, four days later and that you'll most likely be off the oxydgen by the end of the day is a miracle, Jay.″

Jay had to swallow hard by the words of his brother. He hadn't known that it's been that kind of a close call, that he'd been more dead than alive. And what made him feel even worse was the fact that Erin had to go through all of that, through the constant fear of losing him.

″What happened to Erin?″ he asked with a cracky voice.

″We don't know for sure, we found her unconsciousness. She was with you the night after your surgery...when you collapsed for the first time. We think she had a panic attack combined with not eating and drinking enough throughout the day and therefore collapsed in your room,″ Will explained, still not feeling good by telling his brother all of this.

″Why didn't you guys tell me about this yesterday?″

″We didn't want you to worry too much. You needed to rest. You still need to rest by the way.″

″I'm good,″ he assured him immediately. ″How did Erin deal...with everything?″ he asked and his voice was nothing more then a whisper. Will could hear the guilt in it.

″How do you think she dealt with it Jay?″ Will asked rhetorical. ″She thought she's going to lose you. We all did. But this is not your fault Jay. You came back because your will to survive was bigger than anything else, because you didn't want to leave her and your baby alone, because you always fight for the people you love. So please do me a favor: don't think too much about the things that happened. You can't change them anymore and you'll be fine and that's all that matters. Start instead thinking about the future, the baby. There are lot of good things coming,″ he said and gave his brother an encouraging smile.

″I'll try,″ Jay sighed although he still felt bad about what all the important people in his life, especially Erin of course, had to go through.

″You should,″ he winked.

″I just remembered, I've had a weird...dream when I was in coma,″ Jay said after a moment of silence.

″Yeah? Tell me more, I'm a fan of weird dreams,″ Will laughed.

″I dreamed about Voight. He threatened to kill me but I don't know why... but it was so real man,″ Jay chuckled but immediately stopped by the pain laughing created in his whole body.

″I guess this wasn't a dream,″ Will answered and his eyes were kinda widened in disbelief.

″What do you mean?″ Jay frowned.

″He visited you and I didn't exactly eavesdrop but I heard him talking to you and he said something about that you and him will have a problem when you don't move your ass back to the living asap. Nice guy, Hank Voight,″ he laughed.

″Tell me about it. But this is coincidence, right?″

″Yeah, most likely,″ Will winked although he wasn't sure whether it really was.

XxXxXxXxXxX

An hour later, Erin came back into Jay's room and saw him peacefully dozing. But it didn't take long until his eyes fluttered open as he felt her presence somehow.

″How long are you here?″ he yawned.

″Just a couple of minutes. Keep on sleeping.″

″Later. Is the baby alright?″ he asked her the most important question without beating around the bush.

″It is,″ she nodded, softly smiling at him. ″Dr. Hanson just wanted to check again whether there's some damage to my placenta due to the fall but everything's fine and I'm allowed to go home. I even got a new sonogram photo especially for you,″ she grinned and handed him the print of the sonogram.

″Thank you,″ he answered all smiles and as always he was all fascinated when he looked at the newest picture of baby Halstead.

″It has your nose,″ he grinned.

″You can't even tell from this photo.″

″Of course I can,″ he said and sounded all convinced.

″Mhm, sure,″ she nodded with a smirk on her lips.

″Come here,″ he then said, offering her to lay down on her favorite spot in the world, right next to him.

″I don't wanna hurt you.″

″You won't,″ he assured her immediately.

″Okay,″ she answered and laid down next to him, on the uninjured side of his body, but being as careful as possible nonetheless. ″Is this okay for you?″

″It's perfect,″ he answered and wrapped his arm around her to hold her tight although the scar on his abdomen and the pleural drainage that still came out on one side of his body twinged by this movement.

Erin rested her head on his shoulder and snuggled as close to him as possible, laid her foot on top of his uninjured one and her hand once again found its spot on his chest.

″Erin I'm sorry for all of this,″ he mumbled into her hair.

″Jay,″ she sighed and looked up to him. ″Please don't blame yourself for this. Nothing of this is your fault.″

″But all the things I put you through-″

″No Jay. This has to stop. It was a horrible accident but all that matters to me is that you're back with me...with us,″ she said and looked down to her stomach that bumped on his waist. ″I almost lost you Jay and I don't wanna lose you to your guilt or whatever else now. This is nobody's fault, least of all yours,″ she whispered and her voice broke. ″When this is someone's fault, it's mine. Because I interrogated that other prick who gave us the tip about the warehouse and didn't get how crazy he was, how he played us.″

″No Erin, if I'm not allowed to blame myself for it, you're not allowed to blame yourself for it either, alright?″ he asked.

″Okay,″ she sighed.

″Good,″ he mumbled and placed a kiss on her forehead.

″I need to tell you something,″ she then said and grinned up to him as she suddenly felt this well-known flutter in her stomach again.

″Do you?″ he asked, being slightly curious as he saw this cute grin on her lips and in her eyes as well.

″Mhm,″ she nodded. ″I can feel the baby move.″

″No way,″ he answered and the brightest of smiles appeared on his face.

″Shortly before your accident I felt it for the first time and now it's already a little more intense than some days ago,″ she smiled and the happiness on his face made her heart burst.

″Is it moving right now?″ he asked and even though he couldn't feel anything of it yet he was more than excited about it.

″It is. I don't know what it's doing but it's pretty active,″ she nodded.

″How does it feel?″

″Hmm, hard to describe. It's a flutter. Like when one hundred butterflies start to fly at the same time or like when someone tickles you from inside,″ she laughed.

″I can't wait until it starts to kick,″ he grinned, his eyes sparkling in excitement.

″Guess this will be a lot more uncomfortable for me,″ she chuckled.

″Maybe. But a lot better for me,″ he smirked and kissed her head again, placing his hand on the side of her stomach. ″I love you.″

″I love you, too. Thank you for fighting so hard and coming back to me,″ she whispered while tracing circles onto his chest, while thinking about how much he has changed her life, how much he has changed her. How he has become something she never knew she needed.

For the way you changed my plans

For being the perfect distraction

For the way you took the idea that I have

Of everything that I wanted to have

And made me see there was something missing

For the ending of my first begin

And for the rare and unexpected friend

For the way you're something that I'd never choose

But at the same time something I don't wanna lose

And never wanna be without never again

You're the best thing I never knew I needed

So when you were here I had no idea

You the best thing I never knew I needed

So now it's so clear, I need you here always

XxXxXxXxXxX

The following day, Jay was transfered to a normal room but was not yet allowed to leave his bed. As Erin had to take it easy for two more days she of course spent all day with him, watched him sleeping, cuddled with him or they watched TV together or played Uno, did all in all everything so none of them got bored. In the evening they were joined by some of their colleagues and on Tuesday, the pleural drainage was removed from Jay's body and he was finally allowed to take a shower. And just as he had helped Erin to shower after her accident it was now Erin who helped him and carefully washed his wounded body and then helped him to put his sweatpants and shirt on.

By Wednesday, the last day of August, Erin returned to the bullpen, carrying a chocolate muffin with a enlightened candle in her hands as she walked up the stairs. She went straight into Hank's office and placed it on the desk in front of him.

″Happy Birthday,″ she said, almost shy, and smiled a little when she glanced at him.

″Thank you,″ Hank nodded and also smiled a little. It was in fact the first smiles they gave each other since the day he found out about her pregnancy.

″Mhm,″ she nodded. ″I'll check on the case then,″ she added and left his office again.

Of course there was still a conversation to be made between the two of them but it wasn't the right time yet and Erin didn't want to use Jay's accident as pretense. This was about her and Hank and should not be based on the latest drama. Maybe things have changed a little due to it but they both needed a little more time, especially Hank. They were back at a point where they exchanged more than just three words about the case but this was just one step into the right direction, one step back to normal.

While Erin was back at work, Jay felt better every day but was at the same time more bored every day, too. The days in the hospital were long and the only person who checked by throughout the day was his brother and sometimes some of the other doctors who usually worked in the ED and knew him more or less. And Mouse checked by every day during his lunch break but always made a big secret of his visit, told Jay he shouldn't tell anyone that he has visited him. At first Jay was a little confused by the weird behavior of his best friend but it didn't take him long to find out what this was about and it was just a typical Mouse-thing and quite a cute reason. His best friend obviously had a little crush on Dr. Reese, one of the young doctors who worked on this ward at the moment and therefore visited him for an hour every day to have the opportunity to see her and to exchange some words with her. But anyway Jay had the feeling that his friend would most likely need some help to land a date with her somewhen.

When Erin walked into his room on Friday, he sat on his bed, eagerly waiting for her.

″What's up?″ she frowned when she saw him grinning at her and leaned down to him to kiss him.

″Do you have anything planned for the weekend?″ he asked her.

″Despite visiting my wounded soldier?″ she chuckled and sat down on the edge of the bed, kissed him again.

″How about taking your wounded soldier home?″ he whispered into her ear and a bright smile appeared on her face instantly.

″I'd love to do that,″ she murmured back into his ear and then placed a kiss on his cheek. ″Didn't they say Monday is the earliest day they'll might discharge you?″

″They did. But I'm such a good patient and I begged them so nice, so they decided to let me go home. And it might helped that Will promised to check on me once a day and that I assured them that I have the best girlfriend in the world who will take care of me 24/7,″ he grinned at her all innocent.

″24/7?″ she echoed and raised her eyebrows. ″Can I think about that?″ she teased him, fully enjoying it that they were able to joke with each other again.

″Nope, already signed the papers. Guess you don't have an option here,″ he smirked.

″Too bad,″ she laughed. ″Then let's get you home.″

XxXxXxXxXxX

When Jay was finally on the couch in Erin's apartment, after making a quick stop at the pharmacy to pick up all of his meds, he felt like he had just crested the Mount Everest although Erin had helped him as much as possible with walking up the stairs. She had then helped him to lie down on the couch and had left him again to pick up his bag from the car. Jay stared up to the ceiling and had to smile although the fresh scars on his body twinged. He was so happy to be home, to sleep in a normal bed again. He had no idea how people were supposed to recover in a hospital, where nurses and doctors came into the room literally every five seconds and didn't really give their patients the rest they needed. He was sure that his recovery would be even faster now that he was home. Home. At Erin's place which was his home, too. They haven't even discussed about whether home was his place or hers, it was so natural for both of them that she's meant her place when she had talked about taking him home. Her apartment has become their together home during the last few weeks, they almost spent all their time there and only were at his place occasionally. Maybe it was time to talk about their living situation again within the next few weeks, especially given the fact that the birth of their baby was only five more months away.

″You good?″ Erin asked when she came back some minutes later.

″I am,″ he nodded. ″Come here, you need to rest, too.″

″Jay I'm fine. Are you hungry?″

″A little,″ he shrugged. ″We can order something, what do you think?″

″Sounds good,″ she smiled and sat down on the edge of the couch. ″You want to take a shower before?″

″Yeah, a shower would be appreciated,″ he answered and sat up with a moan escaping from his mouth.

″Easy Jay,″ she said immediately, glancing at him all worried.

″I'm good, Er,″ he assured her, got up from the couch and then wrapped his arms around her as he saw that she still didn't seem to be convinced. ″It'll take a while until I don't feel the pain anymore, okay?″ he mumbled into her hair.

″Yeah, I know. But please tell me if you don't feel good,″ she said while looking up into his blue eyes.

″Of course,″ he answered and gave her a short kiss before limping into the direction of the bathroom with her help.

″I had an idea the other day,″ Erin said while helping him to strip his shirt.

″What idea?″

″How about a little weekend getaway to Wisconsin for your birthday in two weeks? I think we could both need some downtime. Just the two of us, the lake, the woods. What do you think?″

Of course Jay didn't have to think about this for even one second. He loved Wisconsin and speding time there with Erin was his favorite thing in the world.

″I can't wait,″ he grinned, a sparkle of excitement in his eyes.

XxXxXxXxXxX

After spending one week at home, where the only thing that had kept him entertained throughout the day was playing FIFA and some race games on the playstation Adam has borrowed him, Jay got cleared for light work and Hank allowed him to join Erin with working the desk, much to Erin's joy as it was quite a nice change to be partnered up with her partner in two ways again. Although the circumstances were a whole lot different as they had to fight with papers and ballpens instead of offenders who tried to run away.

″God this is insane,″ he sighed on the second day of his desk duty.

″What?″

″Working the desk while everybody else is out and doing the cool stuff,″ he said. Some minutes ago the rest of the unit has rolled out, including Mouse as they needed their tech whiz with them this time, so Erin and Jay were alone in the bullpen and hadn't too much to do at the moment.

″Let me get this straight: this is day two for you. I'm on what feels like day 100,″ she answered all dry.

″All this paperwork gives me a headache.″

″Welcome to my world, babe.″

″Maybe I can understand you a little better now,″ he smirked.

″Maybe?″ she echoed and raised her eyebrows while she got up from her chair, walking to his desk.

″Okay, I feel sorry for you, satisfied?″ he grinned. ″This is tough stuff but you're doing it for the right reason,″ he said and glaced at her belly that seemed to grow day by day lately but still wasn't too big for almost 21 weeks.

″Yeah, I know,″ she smiled and sat down on his uninjured thigh, intertwining her hands behind his neck.

″In two days we'll be in Wisconsin,″ she whispered into his ear.

″I can't believe Hank gave us two days off without further discussions,″ he grinned.

″Well, we're pretty much useless for this unit at the moment,″ Erin laughed.

″Oh come on, we're not.″

″In this case it's not a bad thing that we are. Now we have four days at your cabin,″ she noticed and kissed his lips. This was the big benefit of them both being on desk duty and being alone in the bullpen. They didn't have to keep it professional all day which was really nice.

″Maybe we should be useless more often,″ he winked.

″Don't you dare,″ she answered and punched her fist onto his shoulder softly and in the same moment she felt something punching inside her stomach. Or better: someone kicking.

″Holy cow.″

″What's wrong?″ Jay asked, being slightly in panic by her words and by her hand moving to her stomach immediately.

″Nothing,″ she grinned, feeling another kick. ″Give me your hand.″

″What?″ he frowned.

″Quick Jay,″ she laughed, reached for his hand and placed it on her stomach just in time for another strong kick.

Erin glanced at him, waiting for his reaction and what she then saw was almost too much for her heart to take. An unbelievable beaming smile appeared on his face, a smile she's never seen before, not on the photo with his grandfather, not when he'd seen their baby for the first time. Never. This kind of happiness and this sparkle in his eyes she's never seen on his face before. It was a moment filled with pure magic and Erin was so touched by his reaction, she couldn't say anything for a moment. Neither could Jay as he was way too fascinated and speechless from what he was feeling.

″This is incredible,″ he said with a voice that also was a little touched and couldn't stop smiling.

″Mhm,″ she only nodded and placed her hand on top of his.

″Again,″ he said as he felt another little kick against his hand. ″How can it already be so strong? Out of nowhere?″

″I don't know. Guess someone has a talent for soccer,″ Erin laughed but she also didn't have an explanation. Of course the flutters have become stronger and more intense almost every day but these kicks now were something completely different.

″I can't believe it,″ Jay grinned and slightly shook his head before he placed an intense kiss on Erin's lips. ″I love you,″ he whispered into her mouth. ″And yes, I love you, too,″ he laughed and softly tickled her belly with his fingers as he felt another kick against his hand, just like the baby wanted to make sure that it still got all the attention.

″I love you too,″ she whispered back and couldn't stop glaring at him. The smile and happiness on Jay's face melted her heart and in this moment his happiness was hers, his joy was hers, his excitement was hers. For the very first time she enjoyed this. Being pregnant. She was even able to push the thought away that becoming a mother was still something that scared her more than she wanted to admit but right now she just felt more loved than ever before. And seeing this unbelievable smile on his face made her fall in love with him over and over again.

My accidental happily ever after

The way you smile and how you comfort me with your laughter

I must admit you were not a part of my book

But now if you open it up and take a look

You're the beginning and the end of every chapter

You're the best thing I never knew I needed

So when you were here I had no idea

You the best thing I never knew I needed

So now it's so clear, I need you here always

XxXxXxXxXxX

They started their roadtrip to Wisconsin early on Thursday morning and this time the atmosphere in the car was good all the way along. They joked and laughed, backbit about other drivers and discussed about the songs that were playing on the radio. As there was barely no traffic on the road they arrived at the cabin in the early afternoon.

Erin got out of the car and inhaled the fresh air, let the bright sun shine on her face as a soft breeze streamed through her hair. She has really missed this place. And fall was definitely in the air already although it still was quite warm for mid September. Some of the leafs of the trees around them have already started to change their colors from green to yellow or red and but yet the sunflowers in the garden were still in full bloom.

Jay walked around the car and wrapped her arms around her from behind, kissing her cheek.

″It's so good to be back,″ he murmured into her ear.

″It is,″ she nodded. ″I really missed this place. Although I've only been her once before it feels like coming home,″ she said and turned around to him, softly smiling at him before his lips crashed hers.

And as much as Jay loved it to be back here with her, in this moment he knew for sure that his doctor's order of not having any sexual intercourse for three more weeks was going to be an even bigger challenge this weekend. He didn't have any pain anymore, his scars only twinged when he made a wrong movement and his doctor was pretty satisfied with his wound healing but yet they had to survive three more weeks. And he honestly didn't know how.

A sigh escaped from his lips and he tried his best to push this thought away. They would somehow manage it no matter how hard it was.

″Everything alright?″ Erin frowned.

″Yeah, everything's perfect,″ he smiled, kissed her again and then interlocked his fingers with hers and walked into the cabin with her.

They spent the rest of the day with enjoying the last rays of sunshine of this summer close to the lake and soaking in these moments they both had thought they'd never have again some short weeks ago. When Erin wanted to go for a swim and walked through the plain water of the lake, Jay couldn't help but had to smile when he looked at her. Pregnancy suited her, although she still didn't like it, and he loved seeing her in a bikini, flaunting her round stomach. He watched her for a little while longer only to realize that she didn't have the guts to go into the lake any further. Although he wasn't allowed to swim because being in the water for too long could harm his wound healing, he got up and joined her in the plain water just to tease her for being such a princess in the most adorable way.

In the evening, they cooked together and their plans of spending the rest of the evening outside in the garden got foiled when a heavy thunderstorm approached. So instead of lying in the hammock together they listened to the rain and the thunder by lying down in their giant bed with Jay resting his head on Erin's stomach, listening and talking to their baby while Erin softly tickled his neck and the back of his head. It was the first time that Jay did this and Erin fully enjoyed this intimate moment, enjoyed his happiness and excitement, even enjoyed being pregnant once again.

″Someone woke up, huh?″ he grinned as he felt some kicks.

″I'm not surprised. You talked to it so much, there was no chance for it to sleep any longer,″ she chuckled.

″Don't listen to your mommy, you hear me? She's just a typical woman,″ he laughed and tickled her stomach with his fingers.

″What is that supposed to mean?″

″Nothing,″ he said while turning his head around to her and grinned at her all innocent.

″You better don't listen to your daddy because he's a typical man,″ she then said and placed her hand on her stomach as well. ″Ha, you see, it agreed with me,″ she laughed when she felt another kick.

″Maybe it agreed with me though,″ Jay teased and changed his position so he was able to lie right next to her.

″You wish,″ she smirked while he wrapped his arm around her back and she curled closer to his side, his other hand still lying on the side of her stomach.

″Erin?″ he then asked and suddenly his voice sounded all serious.

″Huh?″

″I don't want to talk about our baby as 'it' anymore. I want to be able to say he or she.″

″Well, you can say he and I can say she or vice versa.″

″No, that's not what I mean and anyway, one of us would always be wrong then. I want to know the gender of our baby. I want to know whether this little peanut is a boy or a girl.″

″I thought we agreed that we want it to be a surprise?″ she frowned and looked up to him.

″We did. But with my accident...something changed...I don't know,″ he sighed and tried to find the right words to express his feelings. ″Before I got unconscious and thought that I'll maybe not make it...it somehow came to my mind that I'll maybe never know whether I have a son or a daughter...and that was really hard. I want to know the gender, Er, not only because I'm still curious but because it's somehow important for me. Do you even understand what I'm trying to say?″

″I do,″ she nodded and had to swallow the lump that has built up in her throat while he had told her what was going on inside of him. ″When this is important for you, then it's important for me, too and then we're simply going to find out,″ she said and gave him a little smile.

″Thank you,″ he smiled back, placing a kiss on her forehead.

″We don't have to call Dr. Hanson now and have to find out immediately, do we?″ she grinned.

″When is your next appointment?″

″In around two or three weeks I think.″

″Two or three weeks is okay. I can wait until then,″ he winked before they fell into a comfortable silence of just listening to the wind and watching the thunderbolts lightening up the dark sky.

″We need a nursery in here, what do you think?″ she asked into the silence and a wide grin appeared on Jay's face by her question.

″We do. We can use Will's and my old bedroom,″ he suggested.

″I think that would be perfect,″ she said and although Jay couldn't see her face he could tell from her voice that she was smiling. And he felt that this now was the right moment to go one step further.

″Talking about the nursery...″ he started. ″The lease of my apartment is up by the end of the year.″

″Do you want to renew it?″ she asked and got out of his embrace, sat up in front of him.

″Do you want me to renew it?″ he asked back, looking directly into her eyes to see her reaction, remembered her reaction the last time he had asked her to live in one place together.

It didn't take her long to think about her answer this time. Things have changed since May and she felt ready for this next step.

″No,″ she whispered and shook her head. ″We are going to be a family, we should start living like one, don't you think?″ she asked and her voice sounded shy.

″Erin, I don't want you to move in with me because you feel like we have to do it because of the baby. I want you to move in with me because you really want it and you think it's the right thing to do.″

″I want us to live together, Jay. Completely,″ she answered all serious. ″I mean, it's not like that so much will change,″ she added with a chuckle.

″Naah, not really,″ he nodded and the softest of smiles surrounded his lips.

″Making my place our place?″

″For starters, yes,″ he answered as he had decided to go even one step further.

″What does that mean?″

″I always dreamed of having a condo. Something modern, light-flooded, close to downtown and with a lakeview. But lately these dreams have changed. They are now about owning a house with a big garden so our son or daughter can play outside as much as possible. A house somewhere a little outside of the city in a nice neighborhood.″

″This is a nice dream,″ she admitted. ″But let's take one step after another, okay?″

″Of course,″ he answered and she lay down next to him again. He was used to give her time and he would give her the time she needed this time again because it seemed like this always played out pretty well.

″Jay?″

″Huh?″

″I really like this thought,″ she said and snuggled to him even closer, feeling so safe in his strong arms and having the feeling that this was the right thing to do. The next step, the next chapter in their life. Living together with him. Completely. She'd always thought that the idea of giving up her independence would scare her and some months ago this surely would've been the case, it had been in fact. But now it just simply felt right and she was even kind of excited about moving in with him together, having one apartment, one key, one bed, one life.

Who knew that I could be

So unexpectedly

Undeniably happier

Sitting with you right here, right here next to me

You're the best thing I never knew I needed

So when you were here I had no idea

You're the best thing I never knew I needed

So now it's so clear I need you here always

Now it's so clear, I need you here always

So this was lots of fluff again but I thought they deserve it and you guys deserve it, too! Please leave a review and tell me what you think :)

About Mouse and Reese (from Med in case you don't watch it)...I know she has a boyfriend there but I somehow want to give Mouse a girlfriend (maybe) and I think these two would be quite cute together :D Not sure yet whether I'm going to make this happen though but what I can already tell you is that the next chapter will be full of Wisconsin-birthday-fluff ;)