Chapter 6 Will it ever be the same?

The question you ask when you have experienced a major change in your life, whether good or bad, like when you lost a loved one or got a car for your birthday, you know that everything is going to change and you asked yourself, will it ever be the same ?

That's the question CJ asked himself as he stood in front of the familiar double doors of Cornelius Academy,it's the question he had asked himself throughout his time in the hospital, with him were Micheal, Hilda and Zander, no Zoey and best of all no Lucious. The four of them stood there looking at the door, three were waiting for the decision of one.

CJ exhaled, touched the handle and pushed the door open.

Inside the halls were quiet, students who were looking into their lockers now stared at the four of them, low whispers were heard and the hall was soon filled with the air of gossip.

CJ's breath hitched as he passed the students, his friends walking protectively behind him, he tried to shut out the noise but he couldn't help but hear words like "gay", "faggot", "disgusting".

He picked up the pace until he got to his locker, on the outside were a ton of nasty comments, disturbing pictures and out right repulsive images of naked guys kissing or having sex in the woods, CJ held back the tears and tore them all down, he put in his locker code and opened it.

Notes and letters fell out, CJ picked one up and opened it expecting to see a hate letter, but it was something else, a club membership card for LGBTQ students, CJ picked up another and saw a friendly letter from a fellow gay student, CJ smiled and gathered the letters, his friends were right behind him helping him.

"At least there are some decent people at this school" said Zander as he smirked at CJ.

CJ smiled back and carefully put the letters in a corner of his locker.

"We better get to class"

The four of them separated and went to their different classes, on CJ's way there was non stop banter, he could hear the whispers and the insults from some students especially from his year, but he could see the friendly smiles and the reassuring looks coming from other students, the ones who saw nothing wrong with him, CJ walked out into his history class and went to his usual seat in front, after a few minutes the class was full and the teacher started teaching, almost halfway through, Mrs Maria made an announcement,

"Carlos Andrian Johnson, the principal would like to see you after school hours, please make sure to comply with his request, thank you"

And with that the room went silent before the teacher continued with what she was saying, but CJ's concentration had completely disappeared, why did Mr Lexton want to see him ?

CJ silently hoped it had nothing do with what had happened that night and more importantly that his parents wouldn't get involved.

....

Zander bolted from his seat the minute he heard the bell ring, he hastily picked up a few books from his locker and made his way to CJ's last class for the day.

The teacher was still teaching and so he had to wait a little, shortly after he was joined by Micheal and Hilda.

"You guys were worried too huh" said Zander.

"Yeah, what do you think Mr Lexton wants to meet him for" said Micheal, he was holding Hilda close to himself and she willingly leaned in.

"It has to do with what happened with Lucious" said Hilda.

"Buy it shouldn't be that serious, nothing in the school rules said anything about being gay"

Zander was almost yelling.

"We know, but then again we don't know if CJ's getting punished, for all we know it might just be a friendly talk" said Micheal.

"I hope so" whispered Zander.

Just then the doors to the classroom opened and the students were pouring out, none of them seemed to take notice in the three who were standing in the doorway, Zander stretched his neck and finally spotted CJ, it was obvious he was deep in thought.

Zander placed a gentle hand on his shoulder jolting CJ out of his reverie.

"Hey, you okay ?" said Zander.

"I'm fine"

"You don't look it" said Micheal.

"I'm just thinking that's all"

"About Mr Lexton, c'mon he's harmless" said Hilda

"Still, who knows why he called me to his office"

"It's probably nothing, don't stress too much about it" said Michael.

"Do you want us to wait for you ?"said Zander.

"No, you guys go, you two have a date and Skyler's probably waiting for you Zander, don't worry I'll be fine".

They all nodded and Zander watched CJ as he made his way to the principal's office.

...

CJ walked with anxiety towards the principal's office and as he stood in front of the door that same sick feeling that kept him in front of the double doors that morning crept into the back of his mind, his hand hesitated to knock and his leg itched to walk away, but in the end he tapped his fingers lightly on the wooden door, instead of the usual come in, the door was opened, Mr Lexton stood in his usual ridiculous outfit but with a smile on his face he beckoned CJ to come in.

CJ sat down on the chair he had sat on so many times before, Mr Lexton walked behind his desk and sat down too, his expression was solemn, not goofy as usual.

"CJ, I think you have an idea of why you're here"

CJ nodded.

"For the record you're not in trouble, I can imagine you're going through a lot right now, with your broken arm and all your injuries not to talk of the trauma of both your accident and the incident that happened a few days ago, I'm so sorry"

" it's okay Mr Lexton, honestly I think I'm better now"

"I'm glad to hear it but that's not why I called you here, you see I wanted to talk to you about letting your parents know about your sexuality"

CJ felt chills run down his spine.

"Please Mr Lexton do not let my parents know about this"

"CJ don't worry, if you're parents don't know up till now I'm sure you have a good reason for not telling them, I really just wanted to lend a piece of advice"

CJ sighed in relief and leaned forward eager to listen to what his principal had to say.

"You know that you can't keep this secret forever, it's only a matter of time before your parents find out and trust me, it won't be pretty if they found out themselves" he emphasized the 'themselves' part.

CJ was about to say something but Mr Lexton continued,

"I know it's hard telling your parents something this big, it will be difficult, but remember that telling them is what's important, they only want the best for you, and I'm sure that once they realize that this is who you are, they'll understand"

CJ nodded his head and looked at Mr Lexton.

"Please try your best, and if you need anything, my door is always open, well not always I mean I do have my own house and the door will probably be locked after school hours, but otherwise it is always open"

CJ smiled and thanked him.

A few minutes passed with Mr Lexton giving him advice and CJ made his way to the door,

he walked out and almost didn't notice Zander sitting on the bench waiting for him.

"You spent a lot of time in there, is everything okay" said Zander, he looked up and his grey eyes peeked out through his hair.

"Yeah everything is fine, you know you didn't have to wait for me"

"Well you can't drive and I'd hate for you to walk home all alone in your condition"

CJ smiled.

"Thanks, in fact I could use the company"

CJ walked forward and Zander fell in beside him.

"So what did he say ?"

"That the school won't get involved and I should tell my parents"

"He has a point"

"C'mon not you too"

"I'm sorry but it's a really big secret"

"I know and it's killing me that I have to keep it but I can't just walk up to them and tell them, my dad is really sensitive about topics like that and my mom's a very literal person, and aside from that our family just recovered from a big crisis, everything's going great and I don't wanna ruin it"

"I get it, I'm sorry"

There was silence for a while, CJ kept thinking about the advice Mr Lexton had given him and everything that everyone has been telling him from the day he started Senior Year and then his mind went to Zoey.

He'd seen her today, at her locker, they made eye contact and she waved, but he just walked away, he couldn't imagine life without her but at the same time he couldn't forgive her for keeping the fact that Lucious was cheating a secret.

"Have you talked to your other friend, Zoey"

said Zander as if reading CJ's mind.

CJ shook his head.

Zander nodded and they continued to walk in silence until they both got to CJ's front door.

"Thanks for walking me home" said CJ, the sun was almost setting and a cold wind was blowing.

"No problem, I'll see you tomorrow"

"Bye"

Zander began to walk away but CJ had one more thing to say.

"Hey Zander"

Zander turned back, his straight black hair fluttering under the influence of the wind.

"You're a great friend, and a great guy"

Zander smiled, CJ took a mental picture.

"Good to know", and with that, he turned around, hands in his pockets, with the violent wind making his hair move in rhythms.

CJ caught himself staring at Zander's retreating figure and he smiled to himself, knowing deep down that nothing, from this moment on will ever be the same.