Who am I ?

Many times I check, hoping to get it wrong. My eyes skim over and over the continuously scrolling list of four names. Finally, reality hits me, Bob has committed murder. But the worst part of all this is that the others don't know, it's that he and I are one and the same body but with two different minds. If the last survivor denounces the one who assaulted him, I'll take it.

In panic, I cry and collapse in a corner of my room, I look at my hands trying to detect the blood of victims. Suddenly I hate myself, I want to tear the skin off my hands, wanting to wash away the stain that weighs on me. I'm dirty, contaminated, I'm a killer, a rebus of society, I'm a monster. Through my despair Bob whispers in my ear that everything will be fine, that now the problems are over, I will no longer have to suffer the repression of these people.

If he had been in front of me, I swear I would have strangled him with such force that his head would have separated from his shoulders. I make him understand by a very explanatory mental image which silences him for a few minutes. I start to cry again, my cheeks are irritated so much the tears have dug their furrows.

I suddenly think of going to the police, once this idea is ingrained in my mind, it takes shape and strengthens. I feel that this is the right solution, it will ease my already torn conscience a little.

- Stop acting like a weakling! Bob said to me abruptly. Why are you pretending to be sad? It's been a long time since you felt anything, felt anything for anyone. Your heart has become cold. He then laughs with an almost inhuman laugh. I must, however, congratulate you on your acting skills worthy of an Oscar. But Man is like an animal, if you enter his territory, expect reprisals, taking the risk of attacking the other is taking the risk of starting a war of annihilation, in the end he only one remains. They haven't followed this simple rule since time immemorial and easily understood even for an 8 year old child. Now stop your cinema and go finish what I started by going to silence the last one. I thought I had finished the job but it looks like a miracle has happened.

In front of his words, I remain silent. Amusement passes through my eyes. Indeed, I feel nothing, my tears were only to simulate what an ordinary boy was. My biggest dream is to be one. But I know that like all the others I had to give it up. Not just because of today, but rather because of my history. After being alone for so long, something inside me tore. That day I became different, I became numb.

But I have to say, committing murder is different from just feeling nothing. It's a complete soul wrenching, bestial act. I don't have enough time to prepare for such a terrifying action because the last boy can wake up at any moment. Bob better have been a professional assassin in his old life or else it's going to be tough. Anyway, I need a plan.